The Wolf and the 'Walker: The Second Generation
by nani'anela
Summary: AU. Heaven's has turned into more of a hell, and in a twist of fate, Cas is pregnant with monsters for sons. Mpreg, but not how you'd expect! Dean must learn how to be an angel, how to love his new bond-mate Cas, and accept the fact that a monster-hunter is having monsters for kids. This is a slow-burning, sad & plotty story. Destiel, Angel!chester, loads of time travel. COMPLETE.
1. Dude, Who's My Car?

_Hello new readers! One thing I didn't mention in the description is that this is a Mystery with a lot of clues, the unexplained, that later come with solutions that should be able to be pieced together, as well as complex time travel. This fic should be read with a sharp mind ;) ! __As of July 2013 I will have revised, cut and re-wrote much of this story, hopefully making it drag less and a little more enjoyable to read. Hope you enjoy! _

* * *

_Six months previous from now_...

Castiel rattled his wrists against the weak bonds simply made of leather, but he wasn't able to break them. Not now, not while he was in this weakened state. His hands began to tremble as another bout of shakes began to make his body shiver violently, and he clamped his teeth together and let out a small whimper as pain ripped through his chest.

The small seizure finally ended, and his muscles relaxed, his eyes fluttered open as he breathed heavily. His blue eyes tracked the man who was calmly stalking around the room, coming up to the angel's side and lightly placing his hand on his arm, which he flinched away from.

"There's not much a father wouldn't do for his children, is there, Castiel?" The man purred, sliding a finger down his arm to find another vein he could use, as puncture marks riddled most of his arm.

"P-please." The angel managed to choke out, shaking a little bit again simply from the fear of what he knew was coming next. "Please, brother. _Why_." He insisted, tears squeezing from the corners of his eyes.

"Don't you care about Heaven, Castiel?" His voice was sugary but edged. The man was wearing a simple black and white suit and tie, and his eyes were so dark that it was hard to distinguish his pupils from the iris. "You were never a very loyal solider, but you would still lay down your life for heaven, wouldn't you?"

Castiel didn't answer him. He knew exactly where this was going.

"This is a privilege, brother. Please don't forget that." His voice was sickeningly sweet. His hand hovered over a silver tray and his pale, long fingers curled over a syringe, it was full of bright blue liquid, the label read _Lycanthrope lusus naturae_. "Laying down your life to make sure Heaven is protected..you have been given the _honor_ to help us engineer our weapons."

"Please." Cas begged. "This was all an accident." He spewed feverishly, anything to try and stop the needle from getting closer to his arm. "Their father is not pure angel. They will not be strong enough."

"Of course they will be." He brushed it off. "I am creating Heaven's crown jewels. I have made many so far, Castiel." He scowled. "I know what I am doing."

A thin sheen of sweat had broken over Cas's cheeks. "Please. The last three haven't worked. No more will uptake. My children aren't strong enough." He begged, tugging uselessly on his binds once more.

The man, this Jeweler, narrowed his dark eyes and his cloying scent itched Cas's nostrils as he came much too close for comfort. "Do not get it into your head that they are yours, Castiel. They belong to Heaven, and _me_, now." He finally pulled away, scowling.

"Oh, dear. I told you before. This won't be over until we've done everything. Every mutagen." He flicked the tip of the needle, and Cas screwed up his face and rattled the bonds again, shying away from the needle.

"Oh, I'm sorry." The suited man feigned surprise, his eyebrows lifting in a not-so-pleasant way as he dropped the needle and forced the man to face him with a rough grab of his face.

"Would you rather have me order you kill them? I'm doubting if you're worth my trouble. Hundreds of angels would love to be in your place." His smooth voice lowered threateningly as he whispered in his ear. "Would you like to murder your precious sons, Castiel? _Dean's_ precious sons?"

The angel clamped his mouth shut and shook his head animatedly. "No?" The man asked, lifting an eyebrow. "Are you _sure_?"

"Y-yes." Cas forced out, closing his eyes once again. "_Anything_. Do anything to them. Every mutagen. Change them. It doesn't matter. As long as you let me keep them."

The suited man straightened up, an unpleasant smirk stretched on his face. "Good." He sneered, finding one of his veins again and pressing the needle into the skin and squeezing the substance into it. "Very good. Good boy, Castiel. Now, this one, the werewolf serum, it should have a little...kick."

Cas immediately felt the substance like acid burning through his veins, climbing upward and pulsing through his arm. This one felt much worse than any of the other mutagens he'd been injected with, the poison substance that would eventually and unstoppably reach his sons, who were pulsating in pain in Cas's chest as they were being changed, mutated forever. When this particular substance reached his chest...

The loud screaming was almost disembodied, like he didn't realize it was coming from his own lips. _Dean, Sam, brothers, sisters...anybody..._

* * *

_Modern day, somewhere in the mid-west, unmarked grave on a hill. _

The first thing Dean noticed was all the pressure on his body. He felt panic rise up inside him as he went into instinctual mode- he needed to get up and out, now.

He felt his lungs screaming painfully for air and he clawed out of the pounds and pounds of choking soil on top of him. He saw nothing but black, and his panic grew even larger. He went quicker, not caring that his fingernails were ripping or that dirt was getting in his nose and mouth.

Dean forced himself upward and shoved his head out of the earth, bringing his shoulders with it. He had to pause and he gasped in his first breath and tried to control his heavy breathing. He sneezed violently, which turned into a hacking coughing fit as he tried to clear his lungs and mouth of the dirt. He felt soil trickling down the lines in his face and down the back of his neck. Dean swiped his eyes of the dirt and looked around.

He was on a small hill, and he realized that his eyes weren't burning too much from the change of light because he was in the shade of a tree. He scanned the area; another hole in the ground was there, about five feet away. _Sam_, Dean thought immediately._ I need to find him_.

_But how the hell did we die this time? _Dean found himself wondering. Now that he was over the shock of trying to escape with his life, he realized he couldn't remember much at all. He remembered that he'd finally gotten out of purgatory, but things were hazy beyond that. No, he remembered that Cas got out too.

_Where is he? _Dean wondered, thinking that someone would have come for him by now. They'd obviously brought him back for a reason, right? So, where was anyone?

He looked around in the other direction, and spotted his car with a shock, just parked under the tree. He climbed out of the ground fully, straightening up and trying to brush all the dirt off of him.

"Oh, Baby! What happened to you?" He said under his breath as he stumbled up to his car and saw that rust had begun to bloom on some of the fenders. Dried up leaves were all over the hood and the top of the car.

Dean swiped the leaves away and saw that the shiny black had been covered in dust. How long had he been dead for, anyways?

Dean expertly broke into his own car, finding the keys waiting for him in the glove box, along with all of Sam and his cellphones.

The car smelled musty and stuffed up, and Dean quickly cracked his window open. He then doubled over as a split of pain seized his head, and he clamped both his hands over his ears, hard, sputtering out a breath as the universe swirled, and the whole ground outside rumbled violently.

Finally, it was over. His head was still throbbing, and he quickly shoved the keys in the ignition and prayed that it work. The car coughed a couple times and rumbled to a start, and it even had a half-full tank.

He had one objective. _Find Sam_. Then he could ask him everything he needed to know. How long had he been gone? And why was he being brought back now?

He drove for a little while, scanning until he saw a chain restaurant and pulled into an empty parking space, killing the engine. He checked the glovebox again and found a crumpled up twenty; somewhat bleached on the folds from sitting in the car for so long. Dean snatched it up and pulled the car door open. If people stared because he was so dirty, they could bite him. He wanted a burger, and god dammit, he was going to get one.

He strode inside, and heard the little bell tinkle.

"I'll be with you in just a sec, okay hun?" A woman dressed in her diner uniform called in passing as she went to hand out menus. Dean suddenly clutched at his head, struck with a bought of dizziness. It must just be a side effect from being dead for so long. He'd feel better once he'd eaten, he was sure.

He suddenly felt really woozy, as the room spun in front of his eyes. He slipped into the nearest booth just as popping black stars started forming in his vision. He held his head, waiting for the moment to pass.

"What can I get you this morning, sir?" A waitress asked kindly.

Dean felt his head spin, he felt strange all the sudden. It was the strangest feeling..his soul felt like a patchwork quilt, part of the pieces weren't himself. What the hell did this mean? He felt like someone who had gone crazy.

"Sir?" The waitress asked, tapping her pencil on her notepad impatiently.

_Why is he so dirty? _Dean heard her thought as clear as day. He shuddered; what in the hell? He felt like he'd been dunked in ice water at a thought. What if he had been infected with demon blood like Sam had been? He could do things like read minds, what if he was going to be some sort of demon weapon?

"Cheeseburger, all the dressings. Thanks." He managed to speak through all the foriegn thoughts spinning around in his brain.

_He's an odd one. But as long as he leaves a tip,_ Dean heard her thoughts again, clear as a bell. He held his head in his hands, feeling crazy. Thankfully, the thoughts quietied and that odd patch-soul feeling went numb too.

He had a second to think. He'd rather kill himself right on the spot than help demons. Hell, what if they'd already gotten to Sam?

Dean felt panic rise in his chest, a bad mix for all the anxiety he already was feeling. He felt the table begin to shake, as a low rumble was surfacing. _Earthquake_? Dean thought to himself, and he shut his eyes as he heard a glassy pop: both water glasses on his table had shattered, spilling water all over the table.

The was the faintest sound of rustling feathers, and Dean suddenly felt two outstretched palms on both sides of his head. It was unexpected, but he wasn't afraid. He felt he knew this person. He kept his eyes closed, feeling his panic still bubbling up in his chest like bile.

"Shhhh. Calm yourself, Dean. Breathe. In, out. In, out, okay?" The man's voice was deep and rumbly, but this was very calming to Dean instead of threatening. It was like Cas's gravel, or the rumble of the car engine he was so used to.

Dean steadied his breathing, doing exactly as this mysterious stranger told him to. For some reason, he felt he could trust him. He felt his panic slowly ebb away.

"You're overwhelmed. I'm just glad I could find you in time." Dean heard a hint of a smile in his voice as the hands were taken off of his head, not before he ruffled his hair slightly, almost in a brotherly way.

Dean looked up, not knowing who to expect. But he certainly didn't expect to see a total stranger staring back at him with a compassionate expression.

"Better?" The man asked, shooting him a lopsided smile. He looked like he was in his mid-twenties, and he had a kind face with heavy, dark brows and gray-blue eyes. He had a handsome face with a sharply defined jawline that was just a tiny bit stubbly. He had straight, dark black hair that looked a little bit windblown and tousled, and he was wearing a shiny leather jacket over a black V-neck. He had a necklace on too; dog tags. One of them, Dean strained to see, looked like license plate letters, but the tags flipped to a blank side before he could read them.

"Who are you? And why do I feel like I know you?" Dean asked in a low voice. He somehow felt like he knew this person so well, almost like he was part of his family. But he'd never seen him before in his life.

"My name's Soloviel, and I'm your guardian angel. Well, not just you, specifically. The whole Winchester bloodline is mine to protect. Or was, I suppose. Depends on how you look at it." He answered cooly and without hesitation. It was almost as if he was prepared to have this exact conversation.

"Have I met you before? And I thought Cas..." Dean asked, exasperated. Why couldn't he remember...?

The man smirked and laughed, it was a very nice laugh. Kind of husky, but deep and rich."No, Dean, Castiel is not your guardian angel." He chuckled again, as if it were an inside joke with himself. "And we have met. Actually, we're friends. We met officially in heaven, but I've been with you all your life."

Dean was confused. But if he really did have a guardian angel, why did so many bad things happen in his life? And what, had this man just been invisible, watching that whole time?

"No, I was not invisible." The man answered. Dean perked up a little bit; it was weird to have him answer a thought so directly like that. The stranger looked sullen all of the sudden.

"I...I did everything I could for you and your brothers, including Adam. But you should know, from when you tried to help _your _parents; some things cannot be changed, no matter how hard you try. I knew it would be hard to see all of you go through so much misfortune and pain. But I did do a few things." He answered, staring out the window into the parking lot. He spoke up again, more softly this time. "It was me who put you two on that plane when the cage first opened. And I helped Sam fight off Lucifer when he pulled him into the pit."

"If you weren't invisible, than who were you?" Dean asked. He just couldn't shake the feeling he got from this man: his smell, his gait or manerisms, something was so incredibly familiar.

"Not who, Deano. What. You probably know me best as 'Baby' or 'Impala.' You can call me whatever you like, however. Sam likes to call me 'Kaz'." The dog tags suddenly twirled into view; stamped on one of them, it said "KAZ 2Y5." He picked up the tag in two fingers and fiddled with it. "I wear these mainly for comfort. I'd feel naked without it. Hell, do I miss it."

"No way," Dean said, astounded. He peeked out the window to see if his car was still there. He felt a flush of doubt when he lay his eyes on it; it was still there, alright.

"That's not my vessel anymore, wiseass." Baby chuckled, he was insulting him affectionately. Dean felt like maybe they had been friends. He gave off the whole car vibe, sure, but...

"Baby's a girl. And you're well, not a girl." He shot out.

Baby smiled again. "You had the same reaction the first time you met me, too. Sam looked at me like he'd just one the god damn lottery." He smiled, thinking back for a second, his pale eyes reflecting the morning light from the window.

"Why can't I remember? And where is Sam now? Is he safe?" Dean fired off his questions, the ones he really needed answered. _And what is going on with my head?_

Baby put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. If Dean wasn't mistaken, he looked a little bit sad. No, it was more like a mix between worry and disappointment.

"Sam's...hanging on. It's a good thing you got out when you did, and that I found you first." Dean detected some serious undertones from his friend.

"Found me first? Who else is there? And what did I get out of, hell again?" Dean physically shuddered. No, he hoped to God that wasn't the case.

Baby shifted his eyes almost nervously around the burger joint. "Dean, we should go." He said under his breath. "The walls have ears, I should know. I was in a damn inatimate object for fifty years." Baby began to slide from the booth, Dean followed.

They walked back to the car, but Baby stopped him before he could climb in. "Let me do one thing first." Baby said, leaning onto the car and frowning grimly. "Close your eyes."

Dean gave him a skeptical look, raising an eyebrow. He didn't lean forward or back, and he sure as hell wasn't closing his eyes.

"Do you trust me." Baby said in less of a question, but more of a statement. He narrowed his eyes, and Dean somehow felt like this was a rigged question. He hestiated for a second before answering.

"No." Dean said in a low voice, looking into his friend's face. He was somewhat surprised when a look of relief played across his face. "Good. Trust no one but yourself. Especially in the times we're in right now." He said, and spoke up again.

"Now ask yourself and trust your gut, kid. _Should_ you trust me?" He asked again, light sparkling into his eyes. Dean felt a huge hunch rise up; he had known him, he was sure. Even if he couldn't remember exactly. And the feeling he was getting from this man, feelings of comfort, trust, friendship, family...

"I think so. Maybe." Dean said, trying to rack his brain. Why couldn't he seem to recall anything important?

"Good answer. Now, close your eyes."

Dean somewhat hesitated, but trusted his gut. He slipped his lids over his eyes, not sure what would come next as he waited in anticipation in the dark. He felt a smooth palm cover one of his eyes, and then...

"Son of a _bitch_!" Dean cried out, clutching at his eye and curling toward the ground, and a deep crack of the asphalt had splintered underneath his feet. The pain had been searing, like hot lava. Still, it had been oddly transient.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, it has to be done. But Dean, you need to control yourself, or we'll get some unwanted attention." Baby whispered quickly to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Even though he had hurt him, Dean still couldn't help but believe that he should trust this man.

"What the hell was that for? And what do you mean control myself?" He hissed under his breath, still clutching at his eye. He looked just a bit irked.

"For your protection, trust me. Dark times we're in." Baby explained vaguely, not even adressing the second question.

"Dark ti- what the hell do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I mean Heaven ain't such a great place anymore, kid. We seriously need our daddy to come home and fix us up, because a few angels have gone power-hungry and are doing a little _redecorating_ upstairs." He bit out the words acidly. "They think they're helping, stupid son's a bitches.." He mumbled.

Suddenly, his eyes brightened and his eyes narrowed. "Dammit," Baby said irritably under his breath. He swooshed his arm out and a silver blade flicked into his hand. "Stay behind me, Dean." Dean didn't have time to process what he'd even said before he was flung inhumanly hard. He hit the asphalt, hard. He felt a few ribs crack painfully on his back, his shoulder popped out of its socket. Dean felt pain pulsing through his entire body and couldn't even move. He hoped Baby could make up for having the man down.

He squinted up to see what was happening; two men had appeared out of nowhere, and Baby was viciously fighting against them to protect Dean. He ran the first man through, and Dean shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

_Wings. _

He's actually seen real, tangible wings curl from the man's back, then flare into flames and disappear. Dean felt his pain stabbing and his eyes forced closed after that.

There was a blast of heat on his face as Baby killed the other angel, and Dean opened his eyes afterward. Baby stood close to him, panting, his blade dripping with red. He got a look of intense concern when he saw the state Dean was in.

"Aw, hell. Sorry, brother." Baby said, coming up and wiping a trail of blood gently that was dripping its way down his forehead. "I keep forgetting you don't know."

Dean's head hurt too much to wonder what he possibly meant by that comment. "What the hell are you-? You know what, never mind. Let's get out of here," Dean said through gritted teeth.

He cried out as he was suddenly dropped into the passenger's seat of the Impala, his ribs shifting inside of him painfully. He gripped his shoulder and gritted his teeth as Baby smoothly turned on the car and sped out of the lot with expert precision.

"You okay?" Baby asked, his voice was laced with concern. He flicked his eyes over before looking at the road again. He frowned slightly. "Dammit, I'm sorry." He breathed out, frustrated at himself.

"I should have done more." Baby scolded himself, gripping the wheel tighter as he stared ahead. He then switched to one hand on the wheel as he reached out lightly to touch Dean's shoulder. His fingertips were already glowing a slight white as he brushed them on Dean's bare forearm.

Dean expected a burst of healing energy and relaxed. Instead, Baby jerked his hand back like he was touching a hot stove. "Ouch!" He hissed, holding his hand to his chest. It was now all a bright white, and the lean fingertips were smoking slightly.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, surprised that there had been this reaction. Damn, if just touching him had this effect on angels... he didn't even want to think about what was going on to him. What if gallons of demon blood were pumping through his veins right now, making him posionous to angels?

Baby shook his head, biting his lips in anger. "I should have known. God dammit, why I ever worked with those stupid-" He was talking quickly, almost to himself.

"Baby!" Dean demanded, holding his shoulder in pain. He really wished the healing had worked right about now as his shoulder was pulsing with pain.

"They've tampered with you." Baby growled, locking his teeth as his jaw slightly protuded. "Really tampered with you. Almost every function."

"Who? Hell? Because if I have demon blood in me, Baby, I...I don't..." Dean felt panic rising in his chest again.

"No, Dean. _Heaven_. It's not such a good place, kid. At least not anymore." He said, and then suddenly swerved to get off of the empty road.

"What did you do that f-" Dean suddenly understood as he felt something rise up in his throat. He wrentched open the door and keeled over, puking down by the side of the car. He stumbled outside and felt his stomach and chest clentch painfully as he wretched again. He vaguely registered the door slamming as he felt a comforting hand gently rub his back between his shoulder blades.

"Aw, bud. I'm sorry. Coming back to life after being dead for a while isn't ever that great." He rubbed his back softly as Dean's chest clenched up again and he let out one last heave, which sent pain searing through his cracked ribs.

He stood up and even through the pain, gripped Baby's shirt in the middle and shoved him against the car. Baby was unresistant, his pale eyes widening as he looked extremely surprised. Dean felt a little woozy, but shoved the angel's back against the car with all the strength he had left.

"There is something you're not telling me! What wrong with me, Baby?! And where's Sam? Where's Cas?" He insisted, and hated that he was getting worked up, because his ribcage was expanding painfully with each angry breath. He swore he almost heard the bones grinding against one another. He weakly tried to punch him with his good arm, which Baby blocked easily with his hand. He looked sad, and like he wanted to help him. His eyebrows tipped a tiny bit downward as his concern showed with the tiny wrinkle inbetween his eyebrows.

"Calm yourself. We don't want another incident. Sam's fine. He's working his ass off, though." Baby looked past Dean, pressing his lips together again. "Cas...Dean, I hate to tell you this, but Cas is struggling."

Dean stumbled backward, gripping his arm again. "With what? Why can't we go there right now?" Dean demanded. If something was happening to Cas and he could have done something, he'd never forgive himself.

"He... Heaven's gotten to him. And _not_ the good side."

Dean felt emotions getting ready to burst from his chest. He felt so frusterated at himself for being unable to remember, at Baby for refusing to help him. His shoulder and ribs were putting him on edge, the pain intensifying his emotions.

"_I don't understand_." Dean insisted, anger spilling from his voice.

"Come back in the car, Dean. You need to rest." Baby insisted, leading him gently by the shoulder.

Dean let himself be led. He felt exhausted, physically and mentally.

"But wait. One thing." Dean turned to look at his friend with a weary expression. The man swiftly grabbed his bicep and thrust it back into its socket with one swift, precise and strong movement.

"Ow!" Dean cried out, gripping his arm roughly and twisting himself away from him. "Some warning next time?" He said gruffly, rubbing his shoulder. He hated to admit it, but it felt a little bit better. Okay, a lot bit better.

"Suck it up, buttercup. You've faced way worse," Baby teased, using the tough-love approach. Would John's car act anyway else?

"Gee, thanks for the love, Baby." Dean rubbed his shoulder tenderly before climbing back into the car._Where are we going, anyway_? He thought to himself. No sooner had it occurred to him that Baby was already answering.

"We're going to go help Castiel, Dean. We'll be there in around a day. Then we're finding your brother." He said gently, starting up the engine again and smoothly pulling back onto the road.

"What's wrong with Cas? Is he going to be okay?" Dean asked quietly, as he tried to get comfortable in the seat. It was strange- the seat was molded to Sam's shape. He was worried about his brother, but if Baby said he was okay, he believed him. Dammit, his ribs hurt.

"Cas- you don't remember, but before you died, Castiel was acting strange. Heaven was controlling him, forcing him to do things, horrible things, stuff he'd never in his right might choose to do, like kill his brother Samandrie. And we got him back- sort of. Barely. He needs help." Baby looked worried, the noon light lighting up his face, pointing out the stark contrast between his pitch black, shiny hair and pale skin.

"He needs my help? Why don't we go there now?" Dean asked, talking into the armrest from his curled up position.

Baby huffed. "Look at you, Dean. You're in no condition, so slow down, Speedy Gonzales. We'll get there soon enough. Hopefully you'll start to remember bits and pieces by then." He stared at the road and turned the radio up softly, wind from the window softly lilting his hair.

"But you've always been like that, haven't you?" Baby said softly, a hint of a smile in his voice, an almost parent-like proudness. He gently reached over and ruffled Dean's head of hair before putting his hand back on the wheel. "He'll be alright. Don't keep the world on your shoulders all the time, kiddo, it gets pretty heavy." Dean sighed. Amen to that.

"How long till we get there?" He asked again. The suspense was killing him. Exactly how bad was his best friend?

"Morning tommorow, tops. And we won't have to stop for a motel." Baby glanced down at Dean, who was in antagonizing pain. Baby knit his eyebrows together. He hated seeing Dean or Sam like this. They were practically his family. He'd protected their father long before they were born, and then them their whole lives. He'd seen too many instances like this. And he was the one who was supposed to help, to always watch over them.

"Sorry I can't help you this time. It's all up to you for this one. Tell you what, bud. What would make you feel better? Anything at all. Next gas stop, I'll get it for you."

Dean smiled slightly. "Pie."

His car, offering to help him. He almost laughed to himself. Well, it wasn't technically his car, but it sure felt a lot like it. He felt almost bitter at his next thougt; his car was being kinder to him than his dad even had been. John had never made him offers like that.

"Really? Even after all that?" Baby smiled, blowing a peice of dark hair that had fallen into his face. "Fine. But I don't want you insulting John Winchester again."

Dean lifted an eyebrow. This guy always in his head was freaking him out just a bit.

He looked pensive. "John, your father, he was a great man, Dean. He changed so much after Mary passed. I wish you could have had the man I saw as your father, or at least have really gotten to know him, not just meet him. He was so much like you when he was your age." He smiled sadly.

"Alright, enough chick-flick for today." Baby said casually, and Dean perked up when he heard him say his phrase so easily. He cranked up the knob for the music, and smoothly switched a gear with an expert hand. "Now, strict no worrying policy from now on. Including me." Baby said with a slight laugh, his husky, rich laugh.

Dean heard the music and tried to focus on that instead of the pain. He'd figure it out, things would piece together. Hopefully. He felt the music move through his body as he started to nod off, but it took a little while for his dream to surface.

* * *

_Hello everyone! I know things may be a bit vague now, but this story will develop and the truth will unfold as it progresses. Hopefully you won't expect everything! The small prologue will be fully explained in chapters 5 and 6, and other aspects will be revealed before that! Please leave a review, even if it's only a few words. All are greatly appreciated!_


	2. The Silver Cylinder

Dean was dreaming. He heard an awful buzzing sound, like that of a drill. It kept getting louder and louder, and blurry images started appearing out of the dark. The first thing he saw was a silver drill and a concrete floor. The drill was a strange contraption, looking like a cross between some sort of dentist and doctor instrument. It was turned on and bouncing on the floor as it hopped with its quick spins, bouncing and being yanked back by its power cord. Dean frowned and twitched slightly in his sleep.

Another thing came into view; a limp hand, curled upward to the sky with pale, slender fingers. A woman's hand, with perfectly filed and trimmed french-manicured nails. Her skin looked sickly and bloodless, but that could have just been the strange, dim yellow light it was under, or the reflection from the damp-looking concrete floor.

Dean wasn't sure if it was the hand of a corpse until he was able to see a bit more of the picture, that the delicately sloping white wrist was completely still, sitting in a shallow puddle of some sort of silver liquid. It looked like a puddle of mercury, but for some strange reason Dean was certain it was blood. Out of nowhere, a siren sounded, peircing the air with its shrill, panicked sound.

Dean jumped at the loud noise; his sleeping body slightly jerked as well. _I killed this person_. Dean realized, and panic began to lash in his chest. These sirens were for him. And he needed to get out, _now_.

He felt himself struggle to surface from his dream. He still felt-half asleep as he listened somewhat to Baby talking on the phone in a low voice. The car was stopped.

"Yes, he's sleeping. I know, I know. I'm not sure. I think it's because- no, he hasn't found out yet. By the looks of it, not much yet." Dean struggled to open his eyes. Baby must have noticed.

"Yeah. Gotta go, Sam. Kay. Yeah, I'll drop by soon. Kay, bye." The phone snapped shut.

"Dean."

Dean stirred slightly, a large frown on his sleeping face as his eyelids showed his eyes were darting rapidly underneath them. "Dean, wake up."

Dean's eyes flew open as he gasped. Baby quickly reached to steady him by his shoulder, before he could fall out of the car. He was standing next to the car with the door open, leaning slightly on the door. The dark-haired man had a small, concerned frown on.

"You were having a nightmare." Baby said quietly. Dean looked out to where they had stopped- the gas station. It was dark out now, and the peircing, starchy white lights in the gas station hurt his eyes.

"Yeah, I know that, Captain Obvious." Dean retorted, rubbing his eyes with his fists. He wasn't used to so much sleep at one time, especially not in the middle of the day. He was feeling groggy.

"So you really fell asleep," Baby looked perplexed. Dean had no idea why he had this expression on his face, he was only sleeping.

"_Yess_? Isn't that a good thing?"

Baby bit his lips together and looked like he was thinking. "I don't know. It's a bit..unusual, that's all." Dean lifted an eyebrow. _Unusual_?

"Here, fill it up, wouldja? I'm just going to pop in and grab a few things." Dean opened his mouth to say something, and Baby put up a finger and interrupted him before he could start.

"No, I haven't forgotten." He said with a little smile. He straightened up from the position he'd been leaning in over the passenger's seat to amble up to the store, whistling as he twirled the keys around his finger.

Dean sighed and ran his hands through his hair, and still felt a coating of dust on his hands afterwards. He hadn't even showered after crawling from his grave, he just now realized.

He stumbled out of the car and closed the door, walking stiffly over to fill the tank with gas. Once he'd put the nozzle in, he had a few minutes to wait. Leaning down to get a peek at his reflection, he spotted something strange.

At first he'd only wanted to see how dirty he really was. That inquiry was answered quickly; very. He rubbed his face a little, but it seemed to only smudge the dirt in more. Then, he looked into his eyes in the reflection.

The familiar light green stared back at him, the black pupils were contracted to small circles in the bright white lights. On the right eye, the one that Baby had done something to, he saw just the slightest of differences.

It was so subtle that you'd only see it if you were inches away. The green iris of his eye had some sort of sigil on the colored part of his eye, his pupil dead in the center of some sort of strange seven-point star.

His face fell into one of disbelief, and he blinked and looked at his reflection again. Just from the slight time of being in the dark, his pupil had expanded. He open his eyes again to see the black circles tighten, the sigil was still there, alright.

He looked down at his clothes and arms, and he was still coated in filth. He had no idea when he'd be able to shower, and he suddenly felt disgusted at how dirty he was.

He felt a tiny tickle in his nose, and sneezed loudly. He suddenly didn't feel so dirty anymore. He looked down and was overwhelmed with confusion. He looked perfectly clean, not a speck of dirt was on his clothes.

"What...?" He said under his breath, and looked around him. The dirt that was on his body just a second ago was suddenly all over everything around him. The ground had a dirty, perfect circle, which carried on to the car and the gas machine.

Dean almost jumped out of his skin when the gas pump gave a slight jerk, indicating that the tank was full. Dean ripped it out and shoved it back into the machine, jogging to get back in the passenger's seat. He didn't want to look at that strange circle he'd made. It scared him.

Baby noticed how quickly he got back into the car and sped up, his eyebrows knitting together. He was holding a slice of pie in one hand and a pack of cigarettes with the keys in the other. He came up to the window and tapped on it with one of his finger joints.

"What's up?" He said, looking in at Dean. "Wow, you're clean."

Dean suddenly had a memory rush into his head; Cas looking shabby and dirty after getting out of purgatory. He'd heard the running of water for just a second, before his friend had emerged, completely clean. He'd wondered how the hell Cas had done that.

Demons had many characteristics and powers similar to angels, didn't they? And if Baby insisted he'd come back from _Heaven_, not hell...

_What if.._.?

"Can we...let's just go, please." Dean said, feeling shaken up, curling back up in the seat. Baby shrugged and climbed into the driver's seat. Dean knew he'd seen the strange dirt explosion, but the man didn't say anything a he started up the car again.

"Here. Just try to keep it down, kay?" Baby handed Dean the pie slice as he pulled out from the lot with one hand on the wheel. There was only the sound of quiet music from the radio for a second.

"What...What did you do to my eye earlier? You said it was to protect me?" Dean asked quietly. He wasn't sure if he was going to get a straight forward answer, he normally didn't.

Baby pulled out a cigarette and lit it by sliding it into the cigarette lighter in the older car. He took a long breath in and breathed out calmly, rolling down the window.

"They're controlling people, Dean. Heaven's gone to shit. And you can't see them, but I included sigils all along the back and inside of your eye and skull. Heaven shouldn't be able to get to you now." Baby puffed out a smoky cloud again.

Dean felt a shudder run through his body. It was a moment before he spoke up again.

"I saw some sort of drill, some weird tool. In my dream, I mean. And a body with silver blood. I think...I think I killed her." Dean shook his head, as if he were trying to dislodge more memories. He stopped suddenly; maybe he didn't want to know. He was sure the other memories had to be worse, repressed there somewhere in his head.

"If there was silver blood, than you done the right thing." Baby said bitterly, laughing in a hurt kind of why. "Angels aren't quite what they used to be, brother."

Dean wasn't quite sure _why_ he trusted Baby so much. Or if he should. But right now, it was the best bet he had.

And a plus was Baby drove like a professional.

He drove smoothly, as if it were his second nature. He didn't even look like he was looking at the road as he smoked slowly, as if he enjoyed each drag tremendously.

_A smoking angel. _Dean thought, a smile twitching onto his lips. If there was only one in existence, it _would _end up being his guardian angel.

"It ain't exhaust, that's for sure. But it's the closest thing I could find." Baby said softly, clearing up Dean's thought. Dean still found it a little hard to wrap the fact that this angel had literally been his car for the past thirty years around his head.

"Do you miss it?" Dean asked, turning his attention to his pie for now. He popped open the plastic container with a small crack and looked at the perfect-sized slice of chocolate silk. He liked his lips and dug the white plastic fork out of the side. He still only wanted to eat for the taste, he hadn't felt hungry yet. In fact, he wasn't sure if he ever would be if he wasn't by now.

"Sometimes." Baby answered simply, breathing out another stream of smoke from his nostrils, closing his eyes as his dark lashes fanned against his pale face. "It's better being a person, though. Kind of gets lonely only listening and never talking." Dean felt a little bit hot on the tips of his ears when he realized how much Baby really knew about him.

"Don't get your panties in a wad, kiddo. I'm not telling anybody." Baby said with a little smile, flicking his pale eyes to look at Dean with a brotherly expression. He tapped the cigarette on the side of the window to get the ashes off the end with a loose hand.

"We'll probably be getting there a bit earlier than expected." He added, speeding the car up just slightly. They both rode in silence, not needing much else than the music on the radio. Dean didn't feel like talking, and that was fine. It was peaceful as they sped down the black, empty roads in the dead of night.

"I need to tell you something, Dean. You might not like what you see. No, I take that back. You won't." Baby piped up after a while, his eyebrows tipping down again.

"What I see...do you mean with Cas?" Dean asked, feeling his heart clentch. He didn't like the tones in his friend's voice.

"Yes," Baby answered softly, biting his lips. "He's...I'm just going to come out and say it. He's a mess."

Dean felt his chest give a painful squeeze. He cleared his throat and spoke up. "What can I do to help?" He asked in a low voice, narrowing his eyes.

"I don't know. We can only guess what's wrong with him. He won't let any of us come near him." Baby gulped, and then sighed. "They really messed with him. You won't like it, Dean."

"You mean heaven, right?" Dean asked, still finding it hard to believe. He knew the angels could be dicks sometimes, but not like this. They wouldn't do that, would they?

"Yes," Baby answered again, in the same solemn, soft voice. "He only asks for you."

Dean felt his chest squeeze again. He needed to get there as fast as he possibly could. He didn't even want to imagine what could happen to him. He suddenly had another triggered memory fall into his head; Baby had mentioned something about the right eye being vulnerable.

He hazily remembered seeing a blood-red tear dripping from Castiel's right eye as his friend straightened up to talk to them. He'd been kneeling over something. Or someone. Dean suddenly remembered with shock. Cas had killed someone when he was not there, his own brother. And he'd dripped that blood-red tear when they'd found him, when Cas told them what he had done.

"Cas was being controlled." Dean said in astonishment, under his breath. "For how long?"

Baby looked concerned. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

Dean dropped his gaze to the ground. He had to think about something else, he didn't want to think about what was happening to his friend right now. What condition he was in, anything. He'd have to just work things out once he saw him. He shoved the pie from his lap, he'd only taken one small bite. That in itself was very peculiar for him; he would always polish off those one-slicers easily. Then go on to lick the container as Sam rolled his eyes at his antics.

* * *

After a long drive and a seemingly longer night, they finally reached their destination. Baby slowed down and pulled up to a concrete building just as dawn was breaking. It was dirty and had graffiti all over it, with a completely empty and cracking parking lot with fading paint. Dean rolled his eyes, _great_. Another abandoned building was just what he needed.

Baby parked the car in the closest spot in the building and got out, swiftly closing the door. He waited for Dean to cross over so they could walk together.

"We mainly fly here," Baby explained the absence of cars in the lot.

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," Dean quipped back. He was mainly on edge about what he'd see inside. Baby seemed to sense that he was worried and distressed and slung his arm casually over the man's shoulder, also helping his stand taller from the way he was walking with his broken ribs.

"It's going to be okay, Dean. I'm sure you can fix whatever's wrong." He tried to reassure him, and Dean sighed. Dammit, he hoped so. He didn't know what he'd do with himself if he could do nothing for his best friend.

Baby knocked on the steel door just once, and it swung open. A small, teenage girl opened the door. She seemed to get a huge wave of relief when she saw who it was. "Oh, great. Come in, please. We don't know if he's gotten worse."

Dean and Baby both pushed into the building as the girl hung back and closed the door tightly behind them. Dean was clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes, walking side-by-side with Baby. He had no idea what to expect.

But it certainly wasn't this. There was a sort of room with one glass wall and the rest of solid concrete. Every single wall was covered in sigils, including the glass one. Dean looked inside and felt his heart drop.

There was Cas, curled up on a tiny prisoner's bed. He wasn't sleeping, but simply lying there with a blank expression on his face as his blue eyes stared into nothingness, his hands firmly planted over his chest.

He physically looked sick as well, his cheeks had gotten thinner and his skin looked pale and clammy. His vessel had lost a lot of weight, it didn't look like he was taking care of it like he should have been. He breathed in shallowly, looking at nothing. The threadbare pillow was covered in reddish-brown drips. Dried blood.

"He's no longer supporting his vessel's body like he should be," the teenager said in a worried voice. "I have Dariel going in and trying to give him pills, but..."

As Dean and Baby looked on, another angel went through the many doors that led into the room with a small cup of water and a handful of pills. The man securely locked each door after he passed through, finally coming into the room.

"Castiel," He said softly, and Dean could barely hear his calm voice, distorted and hollow through the thick wall of glass. "You need to take these. You're making your body very sick."

Castiel looked up with wild eyes to the man approaching him. He scrambled back on the bed and, when he noticed that the man was coming even closer, quickly fled into one of the concrete corners, pressing his back against the wall and shying away.

"Stay away from me." Cas gravelled, pressing himself into the corner. "You're trying to poison me. You're trying to kill me." His eyes shone with a kind of wild light as he pressed harder and turned into the wall.

"Get away! I need _Dean_!" He covered his head with his arms and seemed to send out some sort of mild shockwave, which pushed the man back and ripped the water cup and pills from his hand. The water splashed onto the floor and the pills went flying.

Dean hadn't even noticed that he'd brought a hand up to touch the glass wall lightly. His heart was beating hard.

"He can't see you. This wall is bewitched to look the same as the others from inside." Baby explained softly, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his leather jacket and scowling.

"How...how am I supposed to fix this? What if I can't fix him, Baby?" Dean asked, feeling his heart drop into his stomach at the scene he was watching unfold in front of him. Castiel still had his arms over his head, and his now-skinny frame was quivering as he shrunk into the corner, as the man quickly left, shaking his head sadly.

Baby suddenly turned Dean's shoulder roughly, spinning Dean to look at him. Dean stared into his pale blue eyes, which were somewhat narrowed at the moment.

"Remember, Dean. Trust no one but yourself. Not him, not even me. No matter what he says, remember that." Baby said ominously, frowning slightly. "Can you do that?"

Dean nodded, biting down and having his jaw protrude. It was bad enough to see his friend through that glass wall. But in person-

"You can do this. Look for anything unusual, okay?" Baby said, giving him a little encouraging pat on the back.

Dean huffed out a breath of air and went with the beckoning teenager. She led him into the first of the set of doors, looking at him with admiration.

"Please help him, Dean. He's good. And we need more angels like him." She said sadly, before shutting the heavy door behind him. Dean took in another deep breath and went through the next checkpoint, closing the heavy door behind him. He did this two more times, before he finally stumbled into the room.

Baby had been right; it looked very different from the inside. It was bleak, with gray concrete walls in every direction. He looked to where Castiel was, still cowering in the corner.

"Cas," Dean said gently, coming up slowly to the man with his face buried in his arms. He saw the dark-haired man's head stir slightly and start to rise out of his arms. He looked up with weary blue eyes, which lit up right when he saw Dean's face.

"Dean. You're here." Cas said with a voice laced with relief, he began to smile slightly. "You've come to rescue me. We don't have much time...we need to break out of here. I must return to my Superiors in Heaven. I must bare my weapons to them before it's too late. " Cas said quickly, darting his eyes to look around the room, which had no indication of the glass wall looking in.

_Weapons_? Dean wondered.

"Cas, I'm not here to do that. You need to get well." Dean said, feeling confused. Sure, anyone would want to leave this terrible room, but...

"You don't _understand_, Dean. They're keeping me captive here. _They_ are the bad angels. Don't you get it?" Cas stood up, looking shaky. He looked into Dean's eyes, and his blue ones were still alight with a strange, crazy kind of look. Suddenly, his face dropped into one of intense concern.

"You're hurt," Cas said, coming up closer to Dean. Dean frowned.

"Look, Baby already tr-" Right when Castiel touched him, he felt his ribs lace together and go numb, and even the dull throb left in his shoulder disappeared.

"..ried that." Dean said, looking confused. How did Cas just do that when his friend couldn't earlier?

"Baby? You really think that's Baby?" Cas laughed crazily. "Why do you think he was so spot-on? _He's playing a part, Dean_. They all are. They're trying to get rid of all the good angels left, they're trying to kill me. And now they're probably trying to kill you too. We need to get out of here," He said, sounding desperate all of the sudden. He scanned the room, looking for any way to escape.

Dean felt his stomach drop. What if what he was saying was true? That man could have easily taken advantage of his memory and pretended to be whoever he wanted to.

'Good thing I'd gotten to you first,' He'd said. Dean felt his stomach twist into knots. What if he was really the bad one that had gotten to him first?

"These sigils are making me weak. Destroy them. I can get us back to Heaven, we can deliver our weapons." Castiel fired out rapidly. Dean looked skeptical. _No matter what he says. Trust no one but yourself. _

Dean felt a great suspicion that what Cas was saying wasn't true. Why would Baby go through all that trouble to help him if he'd only wanted to kill him? And he'd been so kind to him, like he was a part of his family.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked darkly, seeing Dean's hesitation to scrub out the sigils. "_They. Are. Going. To. Kill. Us_." He said in a dangerously low voice, glaring at him darkly. "Or have they gotten to you, too?"

His eye began bleeding again, dripping down his face swiftly like a red snake. Dean suddenly got a flash of sight, something. He wasn't sure. But suddenly he could see everything, _inside. _It was like he had x-ray vision into Castiel's skull.

He saw his brain firing off synapses, he saw the backs of his eyes and the cavities of his nose and mouth. He saw what was wrong immediately. Something long and silver was lodged into his head just a few centimeters away from his eye, hidden from view in regular sight. It was cylindrical in shape, and reached all the way back into his brain, setting a few inches into the gray matter.

Dean shuddered visibly when he saw the effect it had on him: the silver object was shooting out beams of bright white light, snaking around his brain like creeping vines, wrapping it almost in its entirety. He felt almost repulsed at the sight before the image flickered away, and he backed away from his friend, breathing hard. This was not Castiel talking to him, trying to convince him. It was that strange silver contraption.

Suddenly, Baby was in the room with him. "That's it!" He cried, as he rushed up to tackle Castiel before he could hurt Dean.

"What are you doing?" Dean cried out in fear. He could somehow feel that Baby was pulling from his memory, seeing what he had seen, using it as a map. Dean had to shield his eyes as a bright white light quickly filled the room, the sound it emitted mixing with Castiel's deep yell. The light finally faded and Dean ripped his arms from his face.

He saw Baby holding a slumped over Castiel, the evil-looking silver cylinder tightly secured in some sort of tool that looked a lot like tweezers. He quickly crushed the thing in between two fingers, and it burst satisfyingly with an electric fizzle as it coughed a tiny last bit of light.

"Cas. Cas, come on, buddy. Wake up." Baby was holding him upright, and he brought his palm up to gently touch Castiel's cheek.

"Come on, brother. Tell me you're okay." Baby pleaded in a concerned voice.

"Cas? Wake up, Cas." Dean added, he'd rushed to come up to his friend. The enchantment had broken on the far wall, and the two angels who had been there looked on with concern.

He opened his blue eyes and looked into both of their faces, which dropped with relief.

"Thank you," he said hoarsely, bringing his hand up and weakly wiping away the trail of blood that still lingered.

Baby suddenly perked up, a look of realization on his face. "They'll have noticed the contraption was destroyed. We must leave here." He ordered, guiding Cas's arm over his shoulder to help carry him. The two other angels, looking weary yet realieved, vanished with small nods.

"Who's after us?" Dean asked, coming up to Cas's other side and helping to hold him upright as well, looping his arm over his shoulder.

Dean wasn't surprised when he suddenly was dropped into the passenger's seat of the Impala. Cas groaned, and when he noticed that there was a comfortable seat underneath him, he lay down and curled up. Cas deeply sighed and seemed to relax, knowing the smell of the old car too well and knowing he was safe.

"Everyone. Anyone," Baby answered, quickly starting up the car. "Heaven wants to hunt us down for our brains to control them. Demons want our brains so they can drill into them and see what's inside. With all these brains, I don't know why we don't just call both zombies."

"We're going to go meet up with Sam and see where it goes from there. Sound good?" Baby asked, pushing the pedal down more as the engine roared and the car sped up.

"Sounds _great_," Dean agreed, he was glad that Sam was okay and that he'd be seeing him soon enough. Waking up to a world where heaven was completely the "bad guys" was unnerving, even to him.

Dean couldn't help but look into the backseat were Castiel was resting quietly. Even with the object removed, he still looked terribly sick.

"He's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked quietly.

"Yes. But it might take a while for those tendrils to fade completely. You saw how bad it got, didn't you?"

Dean nodded and looked into his friend's exhausted face. Poor Castiel. He looked so skinny and frail. "What the hell was he talking about before, 'delivering weapons'?" Dean asked.

"No goddamn idea." Baby voiced. "But again, that wasn't really him speaking."

Dean watched as Cas's skinny ribs flared in and out. "He looks like a beanpole, poor guy."

He suddenly remembered something. "Wait! I could give him this," Dean said, pulling up the mostly whole slice of pie from by his feet. "He looks like he could use some food, you know, get some meat back on those bones."

"He'll heal his vessel in time, food dosen't settle so well with us. And Castiel has a hard time with food after the aftermath of his burger shenanigans," Baby assured him.

"But that's very nice of you to be willing to share your pie, Deano. I didn't think you'd do that for anyone." Baby joked, his lips lifting just a little.

_I would for him. _Dean thought about saying. No, that would be pretty embarassing. Instead, he sourly said "I was kidding. I'm not giving up this little mouth-gasm on a fork." He quickly scooped out another bite and quickly popped it into his mouth.

Baby laughed and winked at him. "You haven't changed a bit since the damn day you were born," He said affectionately, then began to hum the song lightly on the radio as they sped down the abandoned road. Dean couldn't help but look back at Cas every few minutes, just to see that he was still there.


	3. The Telltale Shadow

They had barely driven far at all before Baby smoothly pulled off the road again. Dean groaned and got out of the car swiftly, kneeling by the side of the road as the very familiar feeling if nausea stirred in his stomach and he felt what was left of his pie rise up swiftly into his throat.

Baby came up next to him as he gagged and wretched and gently rubbed his curved back between the shoulder blades. It was kind of nice to have someone comforting him instead of it being the other way around.

Dean closed his eyes and dry heaved one more time before straightening up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Baby gently led him back to the car silently, without even an 'I told you so' or any kind of complaint. Dean got back in the car and sighed loudly as he slammed the door.

Baby got back in the car and started it up again, and smoothly started them down the road.

"Sorry, bud." Baby said, and Dean bit his lips together. "I'm...I'm just having trouble adjusting to my body again, right? I'll be fine later?" Baby said nothing, keeping his eyes on the road as he bit his lips together. Dean hadn't really expected a response anyway.

"How long was I gone for?" Dean asked, hoping his friend would answer this question.

"A little under a year." Baby answered quickly, turning the music up slightly. Cas sighed softly in the back seat.

"Damn," Dean said, looking out the window at the trees rolling by. He hardly remembered anything, and he hadn't realized he was missing that much time out of his life.

Suddenly, Dean felt an unexpected swirl of nausea and almost threw up again, but he managed to stick his head out the window as just a small bit of acid welled in his throat. He spat it out bitterly and leaned back into his seat with a groan.

"Don't worry about it. I got spit up in this car all the time when you and Sam were babies. It was pretty disgusting, but not as bad as the fact that there were _carseats_. Do I look like a carseat kind of guy to you? I don't think so," Baby shuddered as if he was remembering those horrid, plastic chairs with the rattles and the little plush monkeys and disgustingly cute safari print cushions. Dean couldn't help but crack a smile.

"So you remember that?" Dean smiled. He did remember those carseats. He'd absolutely hated them right around the time he'd turned six, and thrown the temper tantrum of his life about it, refusing to be strapped in one more time. He loved feeling like such a big boy, especially as Sammy had to sit up in _his_ carseat and he got to be the big boy with the real seatbelt and he got to feel the cool, leather seats on his back.

"I remember a lot of things. Almost everything."

Dean felt happiness jump to his chest. His dad hadn't been much of a storyteller, and now there was finally someone who could tell him things he'd forgotten and probably never remember.

"What else?" Dean urged.

"Well, I remember the days you and Sam were brought home from the hospital. Unfortunately, your mom and dad didn't say much on your trip home. You were sort of a wailer. But I do remember your dad joking and asking if they could just pop you back in for a couple of weeks because he wasn't ready." Baby smiled, remembering. Dean could tell he had really admired John; he had been his first owner to look after, the first Winchester to protect, after all.

"Sam was a different story. Quiet as a mute. You begged to hold him nonstop until your mom finally gave in. Do you remember that day, when you leaned down and whispered to him, not for your mom or dad to hear, you promised him you'd be the best older brother ever? Like he could really hear and understand you." Baby grinned. "You used to be so cute. What the hell happened?" He joked, and Dean rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile.

Baby's face quickly fell to a more somber look at his next memory. "Do you remember that first night you all had to sleep in the car after the fire? It had been a damn cold night. So I uh, turned on the heater for you guys. But I made sure you'd never suspect." He ran his hand through his dark hair, frowning.

Dean did remember that first night. That morning had been so cold, frost had crystallized on the windows. But somehow it had remained cozy and warm inside the car with his dad and the baby.

"I never knew," Dean said quietly, not knowing what else to say. Baby shrugged, and leaned his elbow out the rolled-down window.

"Tell me more about my dad. The one you said you wished I'd known." Dean pressed, overwhelmingly curious. He'd always wondered and hadn't had anyone to tell him.

"Oh, yeah. John. He was a character. He used to scream the lyrics to his songs at the top of his lungs, especially the guitar riffs. But whenever someone else was in the car, he'd barely even hum. He used to pretend to play the drums as he waited for the tank to fill up.

"Oh, and whenever he brought you with him in the car as a baby, he'd talk nonstop to you guys as if you were adults. He'd ask you questions like he'd get an answer- what was your favorite song, if you liked peas or carrots more, if you liked running errands with him. Never knew why he did that." Baby looked lost in his thoughts.

"Kind man, too. He saw a dog that got hit by a car and took him to the vet, then cleaned out the car so Mary wouldn't guess. He picked up a hitchhiker who looked down on his luck and drove him twenty miles, and didn't expect anything in return. He didn't do any of these things because he thought people were watching, but because it was the right thing to do.

"I miss _that_ John. Pretty much every day," He said softly.

Dean saw that talking about it was making Baby very sad, so he decided to change the subject with another question that had been burning in his mind.

"So uh, does that mean you think of me and Sammy as like...your kids?"

Baby rolled his head to look over at him with a look that clearly read 'really?' "Do you think of me as your father?" He asked, arcing a black eyebrow.

Dean scoffed. The man who looked younger than him asking him that question. "Of course not."

"So no, I don't think of you as my kids. But it's different. It's hard to place a name on, but I'm still a part of your family, yes?"

"Yeah. I think so." Dean answered. He had to be. There was no way he wouldn't be considered that.

"So we'll just keep it at that?" Dean nodded, getting exactly were he was coming from. They were silent for about a minute, but Dean could tell that Baby wanted to ask him a question.

"Dean, did you ever want kids?" Baby finally asked softly. Dean sighed. He'd expected him to ask something like this.

"I'm getting a little too old for that life, Bay. And the Hunter life sucks asshole, but you already knew that. So I'd rather not have them at all than suck them into the kind of shit I go through." He answered in a low voice, looking away from Baby and instead watched the telephone wires rise and fall and poles strobe into view out the window. He wasn't sure why, but conversations like this always really upset him.

"But if you could do it all over, would you?"

Dean clenched his jaw, not sure why Baby was pressing the issue so much. He'd already given him an answer. He blew it off. "I dunno. Maybe."

_God yes_. He thought, feeling emotions welling up in his chest. He didn't know why he hated thinking about it so much. "I probably wouldn't be a good dad anyways." He said bitterly.

"I don't think so, Dean." Baby insisted, and Dean sighed loudly, staring out the window again. "Can we change the subject, please?" He didn't want to think about it for one more second.

As if on cue, Castiel groaned and sat up slowly in the back seat. "Hello, Dean. Hello, Soloviel." He rubbed his head, and his hair stuck up in tufts when he took away his hand, a bad case of bed head.

"How's the melon?" Dean asked, looking at him as he felt glad that he was looking better already. He had regained more color in his cheeks, and his body was slowly becoming a more healthy shape.

"If by 'melon' you mean my head, then it's doing mediocre, Dean. Thank you for your concern." He looked out the front window to see where they were. Dean yawned loudly and realized that he was getting very tired.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap," He announced mid-yawn. Baby raised an eyebrow. "You're seriously messing with your sleep schedule, dude."

Dean flipped him off and feigned surprise upon 'noticing' his hand. "You're such a damn idiot," Baby laughed deeply.

"I can help with that," Cas announced happily, grabbing Dean's arm. In the blink of an eye, they'd switched seats so Dean could lie down. Dean stretched out and closed his eyes, mainly feeling content and excited for when he got to see Sam again. By sleeping now, he could lessen the wait.

"Hey, guess what I just noticed? I don't feel sick anymore when you guys do that," Dean said, finding it strange that he'd only just noticed. When had he stopped getting that sickly spinning feeling in his stomach?

"You must just be getting used to it." Baby answered vaguely. "Sweet dreams, Deano."

Dean shut his eyes and snuggled his head into the cushion. He couldn't wait to see Sammy again, finally. He fell asleep relatively quickly, as the two angels looked on in silence, waiting until his breathing had steadied and he was really asleep.

"So he really sleeps." Castiel spoke up, glancing at the man in the back for a second.

"Apparently. He doesn't seem to have dreams that are able to be infiltrated, only memories." Baby sighed. "I talked to Sam on the phone this morning. He doesn't know why he does either."

Castiel looked out the window, observing the landscape speed by through half-closed lids. "Does he have any idea he's an angel yet?" Cas asked softly.

"There have been clues. But I don't think he knows. Or I don't think he's even guessed." Baby responded, pressing his lips together. He wasn't sure if it would be necesarily a good thing for Dean to regain all his memories, to finally know what he'd become. And what Heaven did to change him, and all the torture that came after that.

"It's very strange that he sleeps," Castiel mentioned again, concern on his face. "This worries me."

"Don't. I think it might just be a quirk, nothing of importance. Sam still eats," Baby pointed out hopefully, although he did drum his fingers on the steering wheel nervously.

Baby spoke up again. "What are these.._weapons_, Cas? I know you were being controlled, but that wasn't bullshit."

Castiel's eyebrows tipped down with worry. "Nothing."

Baby let out a frustrated groan. "Cassie-" He whined like a little brother should.

"They're..it's nothing." Cas snapped, gingerly touching his chest and looking out the window.

They were both silent for a long time.

Dean had fallen into his dream very quickly this time. But right away, he wished he hadn't. The worst part of his dream was that he could see absolutely nothing, but used his other senses instead. Somehow, this made it seem so much more real.

* * *

He was lying on his side in the pitch black, the ground was hard, grainy and damp, like moist concrete. A shrill screaming was filling the air. He brought up an arm laboriously and ran his fingers along what was in front of him, his fingers bumping rythmically on some sort of bars. His actions were quick, desparate, searching.

The sharp corners on the bars harshly ingrained on his skin as he stuck his hand through the small gap and felt a soft, warm and calloused and unmistakeable hand. Sam.

His brother was the source of the noise, screaming loudly as he squeezed the newfound hand back, his screams so laced with pain they almost sounded inhuman. Dean felt pain likes tongues of flame rake across his own body over and over. He felt hot tears streaming from his eyes and he breathed heavily, holding onto his brother's hand through some sort of cage.

"We'll be okay. We can get out of here. Someone is going to come for us," He spilled out rapidly, trying to get through to him from all the screaming. He heard sickening noises that made his whole body quake, not seeing what was happening made things even worse.

He heard strange rips like skin tearing, squelches and scrubbing noises, bones cracking and the drips of blood on the floor. His nose was overwhelmed with the smell of iron. The smell of blood was so thick in the air he could taste it.

He held fast to his hand, not letting go even with the bone-crushing grip. The larger hand began to quake, and Dean still never let go, trying to smooth his thumb over the hand even though the movement caused the sharp metal corners to scape skin off of his own hand.

Sam breathed heavily, his lungs sounded like they'd been scrubbed as he rasped. Dean forced himself from his dream violently, even though he could tell it was not meant to end yet. He couldn't stand to live this for one more second.

* * *

He felt panic rip through his body as he woke up with a loud gasp, his skin beading with sweat and his heart was pounding.

All around them, suddenly the roads started ripping apart with deep splintering cracks, shooting dust into the air as they split open the road in a circular motion all around the car, like an invisble tornado.

"Whoa!" Baby cried out, swerving to the side of the road and killing the engine. He teleported quickly to Dean's side, trying to make him feel secure as he wrapped an arm around him.

"Shhh. Calm down. We're right here, okay? You're okay," he fired off quickly, as Dean tried to steady his heart rate with deep breathing. Castiel also appeared on his other side, his face showing his deep concern.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Baby insisted, and Dean was shaking.

"Tell me. Please. Are the things I see... are they real?" Dean begged. Baby pressed his lips together and tightened his grip on Dean's shoulder.

"Yes," Baby broke it to him softly.

Dean buried his face him his palms. "Oh, my god."

"I need you to tell me exactly where Sam is. What he's doing. If he's okay," Dean fired off as he tried to stop his body from shaking. He wished that he could convince himself it was only a nightmare. But he knew better. These were _memories_, and he felt sick to his stomach as that sunk in.

"I'm calling him, right now. Just breathe, Dean. Everything's okay." Baby went into a sort of big-brother mode, holding Dean's shoulder securely and not letting go. He whipped out his phone and got Sam on speed dial. He pressed the button for speaker, giving Dean's shoulder a little squeeze.

Dean tried to calm down as he listened to the dial tone, trying to take a deeper breath each time, closing his eyes and trying to shove what he had seen from his mind.

Finally, he picked up. "_Hello_?"

Baby was the one did the talking. "Hey, Sam."

"_Oh, hey Kaz. What's up?_"

Dean felt a tiny bit better hearing his brother's voice, but he _needed_ to see him in person.

"We're about an hour away, just wondering where we should meet you."

_"Hmm, well the whole town is relatively safe, and I'm starved. They have this place called Harry's Cafe we could meet up at._"

Dean sighed when he heard how his voice was so casual, easy going. He was fine.

"Sounds great. See you in about an hour, kay?"

_"Alright. See you soon. And Dean's with you, right?_"

Dean wanted to say something, but he felt like there was a lump in his throat. He still felt shaken up.

"Yeah, he's here." Baby gave his shoulder another little reassure squeeze. It actually made him feel that much better.

_"Just...just checking. Bye,_"

"Bye, Sam." Baby flipped the phone closed. There was a beat of silence in the car.

"You feeling okay? Do you want to wait for a few minutes?" Baby asked him sweetly.

Dean shook his head. "No, I want to see him as soon as we can." Baby gave him a little pat before popping back to the front seat and starting the car again. The car bumped slowly over the cracks, before they finally got back to smooth roads.

Cas stayed in the back with him, keeping silent like he usually was. He gently put his hand on his shoulder and tried to shoot him some healing energy.

"Cas, you don't have to do that. Save it for yourself, please. You need it more than me."

Castiel promptly removed his hand, still keeping silent. It was obvious he wasn't very good at comforting people. "Thanks though," Dean threw in, feeling bad that he'd stopped him. At least he was trying to help.

"How is it that you can do that, Cas?" Baby asked from the front seat, sounding almost sad that he hadn't been able to help.

"I...I think it has to do with the bond. It was established before he was tampered with." Cas said quietly.

"What bond?" Dean snapped to ask, hoping they wouldn't try to blow if off. He saw Baby's pale eyes in the rear view slide to meet Castiel's, and the man quickly shut his mouth.

"Dammit, Bay!" Dean was frustrated. He didn't want to figure everything out on his own! He hated having these terrible memories fall into his mind in random orders and at different times.

"_What. Bond_." He insisted, clenching his teeth together.

"It..."

"Castiel!" Baby insisted from the front seat. Castiel frowned. "I can't tell him one thing?" He graveled angrily. "I'd want some idea if I were him."

"No. Not now. He hasn't remembered enough yet. We can't risk the regaining process," Baby threatened. Dean rolled his eyes.

"I remember more every day. Why can't you tell me one thing?" Dean questioned angrily.

"You are remembering more every day. And that's great. But we can't risk that flow being stopped." Baby answered back with gritted teeth.

"_Why_?" Dean insisted.

"Because no one else knows what you know, Dean. _We need your memories._" Baby closed the argument strongly, not wanting it to drag on any longer. Dean puffed out an angry bit of air from his nose and looked out the window.

He needed Sam. _He'd_ give it to him straight.

The city could not have arrived soon enough. The car ride had been spent in an awkward silence, as Cas and Dean both tried not to stay mad at Baby as he drove and finally lit a cigarette in frustration.

It was a tiny town with old houses and brick buildings with little bells and broad streets and roundabouts. Dean was gazing out the window, trying to avoid the gazes of either angel in the front seats. He suddenly felt his body jolt when he recognized a very familiar man on the street.

He only saw the back of his head of brown hair, and the navy blue jacket he wore over his massive frame, and he could tell right away that it had to be Sam.

He felt a rush of emotion overwhelm him as he found himself yanking the car door open and he jumped out into the street. He got honked out by a car as it came within inches to hitting him.

He sprinted out and another car's tires screeched as they narrowly avoided him as well. Sam turned to see what all the noise was about with a confused expression, when Dean tackled him in a huge hug.

"Oof!" Sam let out at the unexpected hug, tipping over at the force as he reached out to try and steady himself, but they wound up crashing to the ground.

"Sam!" Dean cried out happily, feeling emotions well into his chest. The feelings from his latest disturbing dream were still in his system.

"Hey, Dean." Sam said back with a voice heavy with the sound of a smile.

Dean laughed and helped Sam to his feet. "Sorry bout that," He chuckled. Right when they were both upright again, Dean wrapped him into other hug.

"Wow. You done?" Sam joked, smiling widely. "I feel like a mom dropping their clingy kid off for the first day of preschool."

"Shut up, bitch." Dean said into Sam's chest. He finally pulled away and smiled up at him. "It's good to see you, Sammy."

"You too," Sam replied. "But don't be such an stupid idiot. You almost got hit by a car just now!" Dean waved the comment away.

"Where are we meeting again?"

"Harry's. I heard they have the best burgers in the state," Sam replied happily, starting to walk in that direction as Dean fell into step next to him.

"Wow, Sammy. Thanks, but I don't-" He looked to see Sam's confused expression. He didn't want to shoot him down when he'd obviously chosen the place with him in mind. Maybe the past time he'd eaten had just been a fluke. "Yeah, thanks."

They had only been about a block away when they came to the cafe. Dean could just smell the cheeseburgers in the air, and he really, really wanted one. They spotted the two dark-haired angels waiting for them in the front of the cafe.

"Heya, Baby!" Sam said happily, coming up and giving him a quick hug.

"Cas, you're looking better." He said with a smile, as giving him a hug and clapping him on the back. They started to file into the restaurant. Castiel nodded at Sam in appreciation. "Thank you," he said quietly.

They got a booth right away, and Sam ordered with the drinks, getting a hefty amount of food. Dean lifted an eyebrow. Since when had he had an appetite like that?

"How you been, Sam?" Baby asked, and Dean could tell just by the way the two looked at each other that they were good friends as well, possibly even closer than Dean and him were. It made sense; they probably had spent more time together.

"I've been alright. It's a good thing you guys came back when you did. Rayiel and his group left yesterday to do some dangerous mission, they didn't tell me the whole story. But I figured I should stay behind and meet up with you. They've been telling me they're really close to finding a long-term cure for those who had the device that can work instantly without the fallout. I already-"

"Wait." Dean interrupted his rant, putting a hand up. "You're telling me you're working with _angels_?"

Sam looked confused as he brought his eyebrows together. "Well, yes?" He answered, cocking his head to the side.

"He's working with those who want to stop the controlling. We call ourselves the rebels," Baby explained.

"_We_?" Dean arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, we. Castiel and I. And I suppose Sam is as well, seeing that he is fighting for the cause. You probably would be considered one too." Baby answered calmly, finally being straightforward about at least one thing.

"But, why in the world would angels possibly need help from a _human_?" Dean asked. Suddenly, everyone went completely silent. The three all shifted eyes, as if silently communicating with each other. Dean felt frustration rise up in his chest. He _hated_ being on the outside. He got more angry as the air thickened as the silence continued.

"Sam? I thought you of all people would tell me." Dean said bitterly, as the table began to rattle.

"Thanks for keeping me in the dark. What kind of damn brother would do that?" The table started to rattle more violently, and there were strange splintery pops and icy clinks as the ice cubes in their waters began to spontaneously split and shatter.

"_You need to control yourself!" _Baby hissed in a whisper to him as he snatched Dean's wrist. Dean stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Gee, wouldn't it be helpful if I knew _what_ I was doing wrong?" He replied snarkily, ripping his wrist out of his grasp.

"How did I die, anyway? Am I ever going to find out?" Dean pushed the issue even farther. Suddenly, everything went completely still as Dean felt a strange pressure all around his body. Dean couldn't help the surprised expression on his face.

"You. Come with me. _Now_," Baby ordered him, grabbing him by the upper arm and leading him away. They stood in the narrow hallway that lead to the bathroom. Baby looked pissed, and Dean had to admit he was somewhat intimidated. He'd been very mild mannered so far, and it didn't seem easy to set him off.

"Do _not_ talk about your death in front of Castiel. Ever. Do you understand me?" Baby said coldly, grabbing the middle of Dean's shirt and shoving him slightly onto the wall.

"Okay," Dean said, putting his hands up and feigning innocence. "Sorry."

"Castiel is one of my closest brothers, you need to understand that. He is like _my_ Dean, okay? So do what I just told you. No questions about that."

"Okay," Dean agreed, and Baby finally let go and seemed to calm down greatly. He ran a hand through his jet back hair and avoided his glance.

"I don't enjoy keeping you in the dark, kid. But you understand everything I am doing I do for your own good. I'm your family, and I love you. Please understand," Baby said softly, and Dean slid a little down the wall.

"Okay." Dean repeated again.

Baby nodded and put on a small smile. "Good. Let's head back now?"

Dean couldn't help but feel bad for Baby, and he admired him that much more. If he was in his shoes, he knew it would be very hard to keep a level head by the way Dean could act sometimes.

When they came back to the table, most of the food had come. Especially the cheeseburger, which just by looks alone was making Dean's mouth water.

He slid back into the booth, and before he knew it, he'd subconsciously grabbed for the burger. He breathed in the scent and his eyes rolled back. "Oh, man." He said, grinning and about to take his first bite.

"Dean. I would not advise you eat." Castiel spoke up softly. He still looked tired, and looked concerned for Dean, which shone through his worn-out eyes. Dean almost felt bad not listening to him.

"My stomach can go screw itself. And its mother. I'm eating this burger," Dean said, bringing it up and sinking his teeth into it. He let out a huge food moan. "Moffer ov god," He exclaimed with a full mouth. He quickly swallowed and added, "God, that is good."

Sam saw Castiel's expression and looked at Dean with an equally concerned expression, his eyebrows knitting together. "Dean, if he says not to..."

Dean took another huge bite and closed his eyes, savoring the taste. All three of them now had their eyes on him.

"Don't be stupid, Dean." Sam warned him. "Wot?" Dean spewed crumbs as he finally acknowledged they were talking to him.

He almost made the trash can. Dean sprinted outside and spewed, finally ducking his head into the trash can. He wretched again and spat almost angrily.

"God fucking _dammit_!" He yelled into the trash can before heaving again. He heard the door creak open behind him.

"Dean..." Sam said softly. Dean pulled his head from the trash can and wiped his mouth.

"I need to take a walk, Sam. I need to clear my head." Dean said in a sickly voice. He put his hand to his chest as he felt a tiny rise again.

"I'm sorry. We should have gone somewhere else. Like a Tender Greens or Sprouts or something." Sam said guiltily, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know what those are but they sound absolutely disgusting." Dean tried to lighten the mood. Sam still looked guilty. "I should have asked Baby first."

"I need some alone time, okay? I might never..." Dean brought his fist to his mouth as his chest clenched somewhat. "I might never eat again."

Just saying this aloud made Dean feel angry and frustrated. He needed his food. He loved food.

"Sorry, Dean." Sam said, and turned around to head back inside. Dean sulked and brought his gaze to the ground. And that was when he saw his shadow.

Dean's eyes rolled back into his head as he dropped into a dead faint, his body crumpling like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Luckily, Sam had seen him in his peripherals and spun around quickly, lunging to catch him, which he barely did.

"Dean!" He cried out, but got no response. Dean was a lot of things, but he was not a fainter. Castiel and Baby quickly rushed to the door and outside. Sam looked back and up at their faces, both which were extremely surprised.

Baby looked worried. "I guess the cat's out of the bag, now, isn't it?"


	4. Things Have Changed

Castiel looked down at the man who was passed out on his lap. He felt almost as if he were looking through him as he stared, his eyes barely open as he felt his eyelashes tickle his cheeks. He was happy each time he saw him breathe in and out, and when they went over a bump his head would loll slightly, but he would reposition.

At least it meant he was alive when he moved. He hoped he would wake up soon, as even though he was obviously alive, Castiel did not like seeing the limpness as a resemblence to a dead body. A body that he himself had buried, almost a year ago.

_Castiel_, He heard Baby whisper to him in his head through their bond, which had been established a long, long time ago. Almost right when Baby had been born, Castiel had been very close to him.

Castiel made no indication that he had heard him as he looked into the sleeping face.

_Cas, please don't ignore me._

Castiel wearily acknowledged that he had heard him by quietly replying. _What is it, Sol?_

_You haven't been looking so well lately. _Baby flicked his eyes to look at Castiel in the rear view mirror, he looked sad_. I thought you'd be back on your feet by now._

_I'll be fine. Stop worrying so much about me. _Castiel answered stubbornly_._ He went ahead and did what he'd been wanting to this whole time; he lifted his hand and smoothed Dean's hair down, away from his face.

He couldn't tell Sol he was pregnant, he couldn't tell anyone. Not after he'd let Heaven turn them into monsters.

_I'm just worried, Cas. You'd tell me if something else was up, right? _Baby asked, and Cas sighed audibly, choosing not to reply this time. He looked at Dean's face and wondered if he was dreaming as he watched the eyes move slightly under the lids.

Dean was having a dream, this one wasn't as violent or unpleasant as the others.

* * *

He found himself blind again and in the dark black. The damp, earthy smell lingered in the air, and the smell of blood was less prominent and had faded greatly. There was a disturbance in the air, and Dean blindly felt for the bars on the front of his cage. He heard Sam do the same next to him, he heard the soft shush of his palms on the steel as he slid his hands up to grip the bars. Somehow Dean could tell someone was standing there, outside their prisons.

There was the sound and fizzle of a match striking, and in the complete darkness came a tiny orange flame. Dean's irises contracted painfully, this had been the first light he'd seen in days, and it was so much brighter than the tiny lanterns they'd been used to. The flame burned brightly, illuminating the face of the person who had come for them, as glitters of orange sparkled off the damp walls and floors and shone from the iron.

"Cas!" Dean heard himself cry out, his voice so full of relief it was heartbreaking. Castiel looked to Dean and then Sam, his eyes glittering with sadness in the tiny flame.

"I don't have much time." He graveled. "I've been slipping under their control. The pull is...too strong." He looked down at the match as it quickly grew small and fizzled out. He quickly struck another one, which flared bright enough for a split second for Dean to finally see his brother's face for the first time in a long time.

His brown hair was matted with blood, and his face was filthy and had a grim expression. He almost wished he didn't have to see him looking like that in the short burst of light. It broke his heart that there was nothing he could do for him. Cas was looking them both up and down in the dim firelight.

"Give me your hands. I need to see if I can get you out." Dean quickly shoved his hand through the tiny iron gaps, not minding as the sharp corners took off more of his skin and scabs from his already raw hand. He only felt excitement at the idea of finally being able to get out.

His match burnt out, and Cas gently took both of their outstretched and pleading hands. Dean felt the difference between his and Sam's hand right away, and he realized this was the only other person he'd touched in months. He waited in the curtain of black, waiting to escape. Nothing happened, and Castiel let out a sound of frustration.

"You're both too far advanced into the Conversion process, the sigils are keeping you here now," He announced sadly, a tremor in his voice. Dean felt the hope in his chest get crushed in an instant.

"I have one more thing I can do," Cas added softly.

He firmly held onto Dean's hand, and suddenly Dean felt like he was sticking his hand into warm bathwater. A dim white light began to illuminate from Castiel's hands, growing stronger and brighter as it crossed over. Dean watched in amazement as his own hand began to glow a comforting white, illuminating Castiel's face with its pleasant light. He looked serene, even though a dark tear had begun to slip down the side of his nose.

"Through this bond we can always find each other, or communicate. Or help each other." He said peacefully, and Dean felt happier than he had in a long time as the pure white began to wick up from his hand and spread to his lower arm. Cas's eyes widened as the light kept climbing further and further until it almost reached his bicep. Normal bonds didn't look like this, only...bond-mate bonds.

"Dean," Castiel added in a whisper, he had started to smile but it pained Dean as he watched another dark tear, this one thicker and faster in sliding, drip down his face. Cas looked conflicted as he stayed there, as if someone were trying to call him away.

"Dean...you're..." He could only talk in chokes, and took his hand from Sam's. The bright light began to fade instantly, only small white embers danced from his outstretched fingertips and stayed a few seconds longer as they pulled apart. Nothing like Dean's.

Dean didn't want to let go of the angel's arm. "Don't go," Dean whispered hoarsely, he realized his vocal chords were scrubbed raw. He must have been screaming himself some time in the past not too long ago.

Cas looked back, blinking the red blood from his eyes. When he finally did let go, the white glow remained all the way up to his upper arm, unlike Sam's which had died out quickly.

"I promise, I'll get you out." Castiel said huskily, and Dean suddenly felt something papery, flat and rectangular being placed in his palm, and his fingers were being guided and curled around it. The matches.

Suddenly, he was gone with a whoosh of air. Dean collapsed to the damp floor, curling into a fetal position. He felt crushed. If only he had come just a bit earlier, the sigils would have been useless. Now, it was too late, he was already too much of an angel.

He was surprised to find that his arm was still glowing. He hugged it to his chest, that and the matches being the only thing left of Cas. He held them close to his heart, and just like in purgatory, he prayed as the light from his arm slowly faded, taking hours before blanketing him in pitch black all over again.

* * *

Dean's eyes fluttered open, and he sort of kept his lids half-closed as he observed where he was. He blinked as patches of sunlight flashed into his eyes. He saw the back of a leather seat and felt the rumble of an engine. He was obviously back in his car, stretched out in the backseat. He felt round legs underneath his head, acting as a cushion. He turned to slowly look and see, but it wasn't Sam, who he had expected the most. It was Castiel.

"Dean seems to be awake," His friend announced softly. Dean felt his chest squeeze as he recalled why he had passed out in the first place. And now, that dream had almost set in stone what he was in denial to believe.

It all made sense, all the strange occurrences in the past few days. Wrecking things, hearing thoughts, not being able to eat, not feeling sick when he teleported, cleaning himself in the blink of an eye... the interior of the car seemed to spin as he felt lightheaded.

"Pull over," He said, pleading. He looked up and saw Baby was driving, and he was smoking again. He seemed concerned as he huffed at the cigarette that was almost halfway gone. He pulled to the side of the road and killed the engine, and no one said a word as Dean wrentched the car door open and stood somewhat shakily on his feet, breathing in as much fresh air as he could.

He put his arms over his head to try and increase his breathing, but it didn't seem to help. They'd stopped in the middle of a pine forrest, and next thing they knew Dean was heading down into the ditch and stopped at the treeline of the woods.

Dean began yelling at the top of his lungs, causing a few startled birds to quickly take flight. "_Why is this happening to me_?" He screamed into the dense trees, gripping his hair tightly. Sam, Cas and Baby watched silently from the car as Dean began kicking tree trunks and throwing anything he could get his hands on, from small boulders to twigs.

Baby leaned an elbow out the window to look. "Yeah, I don't think he's taking this so well." He said, the stubby remainder of his cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah, no shit!" Sam commented. They all never took their eyes from Dean, who now looked like he was somehow trying to wrestle with a nearby bush. He grabbed another boulder and in a failed attempt threw it about two feet, and then kicked a tree trunk, then hopped on one leg as he held his foot to his chest, and they couldn't hear but they saw him mouth 'son of a _bitch_'.

"I'm uh..I'm gonna go get him before he pulls something." Sam got out of the car and softly closed the door, striding down the hill with his hands in his pockets. Baby and Castiel looked on silently as they watched him approach Dean, who jumped and almost seemed embarrassed that he'd caught him in the act. The two started to talk for a second, when Baby turned to look back at Castiel.

Even though Sam hadn't picked up on it, Baby could tell Castiel was extremely upset that Dean had even mentioned his death. Baby tried to make sure Cas held Dean on the way, and he had been silent and kept his head down the whole ride.

"Cas," He said softy, turning and looking at him from the front seat. The dark-haired man didn't even lift his gaze from the floor. Baby suddenly appeared beside him, putting a caring hand on his shoulder.

"Cas. Look at me." Castiel stayed for a second too long just staring off into space before he finally wearily lifted his eyes to look into his brother's.

"_Their deaths were not your fault._" Baby insisted, and Castiel looked away again, looking so forlorn it was almost past the threshold for tears. Baby silently wrapped his arms around him, and Castiel whimpered slightly. Baby pulled him closer gently as Castiel rested his head on his brother's shoulder, closing his eyes as a look of pain was on his face.

He remembered that day, every detail.

* * *

He'd appeared in Naomi's stark-white office again, after they'd poked and prodded Alfie's body, the body Cas had delivered them upon orders.

"Samandriel told you, didn't he?" Naomi asked, narrowing her cold eyes. "About the mind control."

"Yes. And I don't want to do what you tell me anymore. You're not going to control me." Cas replied, narrowing his eyes right back.

"You're not about to get smart, Castiel. And I can control you. Thanks to _Samandriel" -_she sneered the name like it left an awful taste in her mouth-" the demons know about the tablet. We have a solution to protect it. And that solution involves those dear little humans of yours, Sam and Dean?" She played with a pencil nonchalantly on her desk, her lips curling upward when she asked the question.

Castiel stiffened, a cold fire burning in his eyes as he spoke up again. "No. Whatever you want me to do, the answer is no." He growled in a cold voice, trying to sound strong. Unbending.

Naomi looked peeved. She licked her lips and leaned forward at her desk, lacing her fingers together. She spoke up in a dangerously commanding voice, her eyes burning.

"Look. You may think you have control. _You don't,_" She explained coldly, her eyebrows twitching downward.

"You will not interfere. You will tell me where they are at all times. And you will not bring them back."

Castiel felt like his grace had been ripped from his body as he heard these words. He was transported back to Earth, the conversation that had been going on when he left was continuing mid-word like he'd never even left. Sam stopped mid sentence, noticing Castiel's confused and sorrowful expression.

"Cas, you alright? You got a little something.." He mimed wiping his cheek, looking at Castiel quizzically.

"I'm fine, Sam. My vessel has a small problem," Castiel voiced numbly, he didn't believe the words his lips were forming. Sam shrugged, looking back at the road.

"If you say so." Sam knew something was wrong.

_Please. Run away from me and never tell me where you are. Never see me again if you value your life. _He wanted to scream this at the top of his lungs, but the device was choking his brain, murdering his will.

The angels came for them that night.

_You will not interfere_.

Castiel had to watch as his friends, weak and extremely human, were murdered right in front of him. He fought back against the device with every ounce of will he had. The closest he was able to get was to fall to his hands and knees and crawl a few feet toward them.

He almost killed himself in trying to resist the command. Blood poured from every orifice in his face as the tendrils constricted his brain tighter and tighter. Red streamed from both eyes, his nostrils, his mouth, his ears.

He fell to the ground as his body was torn between commands from Castiel and commands from the device. The last things he saw through his fading vision were Dean get run through by an angel blade, his face growing pale, dropping all its tension. Sam was next, the looks of terror and disbelief were heartbreaking as a blade was stabbed without hesitation into his stomach.

Castiel felt the blood streaming from his face, the last thing he did was reach his shaking hand out, as if he could help them now. Then, he collapsed with a thunk to the ground as he passed out cold.

When he awoke, the angels had gone. Castiel stumbled to his feet, almost falling to his knees again when he saw their bodies. Their skin was pale and lifeless, they already looked like corpses. Dark red blood bloomed from the stab wounds in their stomachs, some of it wicking into the threadbare, wrinkled motel sheets their bodies lay on.

Dean's eyes were closed, his face looking anything but peaceful. He looked angry, frightened, and vengeful. _Betrayed_. Castiel realized. Sam's eyes were open, which made it even worse. They looked glassy and dead as they hung half-open on his bloodless face, like a doll's. Castiel felt the same way about Sam's expression. Betrayed.

His eyes instantly were brimming with tears, his face twisted into an expression of pure grief as he stumbled to their corpses, falling and ripping the bed frame as he lost his balance and fell over, hit with the purest form of emotion.

_You will not bring them back._

He sobbed, his whole body shaking with them. He reached up with a shaking hand and stroked Dean's hair, feeling his lifeless, lukewarm skin under his fingertips.

"I'm sorry," He sobbed, running his fingers lightly over the skin of his clammy cheek over and over. "I'm so sorry."

She never said anything about burying them.

Castiel spent the day grieving and burying his friends. He chose a hill because he believed these two to be elevated higher than regular humans.

He cut out a rectangular grave for them to share. As he looked down at their bodies, lying side by side in the dark soil, something seemed off. He tilted his head, trying to find out what. He realized soon enough.

He transported himself down to the bottom of the pit, and he took Dean's limp arm, struggling only slightly against the rigor mortis that had begun to set it. He uncurled his lifeless fingers and laced them into Sam's. They would have wanted it this way.

He transported the pounds and pounds of soil to lay over the bodies. One second it was empty, another it was full. He almost wished he had chosen the painstaking burying process, just one shovelful at a time, he needed to punish himself. But it was too late.

He made the nicest grass grow over their grave. Green, healthy, soft blades that grew long but not too long. He took one of the prettiest oak trees from a forrest and magicked it to grow there instead. Lastly, he brought the Impala to sit under the tree. He did not want anyone else to ever drive this car. This was _their_ car. This was their guardian angel's vessel as well: but he was not present within the metal and leather and engine any longer.

He curled up on top of their grave, gripping the grass tightly as the blades poked up from between his fingers. The light and shadows played on his face as the dapples moved with the wind combing through the oak's leaves. He stayed there for a long time. He couldn't remember- it had been possibly two days. He didn't notice the rising and setting of the sun very much. At first, tears had streamed from his eyes like waterfalls, unending. Then, eventually, they stopped coming. He felt like he was being swallowed whole by numbness.

He succumbed to his device, doing whatever Naomi told him after that, dropping into the category of a zombie-minded angel himself. It was only for a brief few moments that he resisted to meet them to bond with them, once he'd found out what had happened to their souls. The souls he'd let be murdered.

* * *

"Hang in there, Cas." Baby rubbed his arm. He didn't respond.

Baby perked up as he saw the two brothers amble back up to the car.

Sam climbed back into the passenger's seat and shot Baby a look as if he were saying 'what now'? Dean climbed in the back and slammed the door shut, keeping his eyes closed for a second as he took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and fired off a sentence.

"Okay give it to me I can take it just tell me what am I?" He fired off in one breath, ending with his whole body tense and his facial expression so full of anticipation it looked like he was preparing himself to get punched square in the face.

Baby and Sam exchanged glances, but it was Sam who spoke up. "Well, we're not quite sure." He said somewhat slowly. That wasn't all at the answer Dean had been anticipating.

"You don't..What do you mean _you don't know_?! I know what I saw and I saw...a...I saw..." Dean had to pause and take a few breaths to regain his composure.

"I saw two _very similarly shaped objects near my spinal area that somewhat resembled but may or may not have been wings_." He huffed out in one breath.

"Dean, you're in denial. Yes, those were wings. But you're not a pure angel, that's why you still sleep, that that's why I still eat."

Dean perked up at those last few words. His face dropped to one of utter disbelief. "What." He barked out in a low voice.

"I don't know exactly what you are but...Dean, whatever you are, so am I."

Dean's eyes rolled back and he splayed his arms out to grab onto anything as he came dangerously close to fainting again. His eyelids fluttered as he swayed lightly, Castiel had grabbed onto his shoulders and Dean quickly threw his hands up, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Nope, nope. I'm okay, I'm good." He inisisted, taking a few deep breaths.

"Will I...am I still human? Or at least partly?" He asked timidly. His fingers were shaking. There was a very long pause.

"The body you have now -your body- is a vessel." Baby answered softly. Dean said nothing as he buried his head in his hands. _This can't be happening_.

"Sam, when did you find out?" He asked, hoping to have someone share in his shock and disbelief. Sam brought his eyebrows together and looked at Dean from the front seat.

"Dean, I... I knew right away." Dean couldn't bear to look Sam in the face. He'd only seen dreams of the horrors Sam faced, but that dirty face he'd seen when they were locked up in cages like animals, his screams... He never wanted something like that for his brother. The fact that these weren't nightmares, everything had really happened...

"How long ago was that?" He gulped and asked, steadying his breathing as their car set down the road.

"About five months ago." Sam replied, fidgiting. He knew which question was coming next. "I was rescued. They tried to get you too, they really did. But everything happened so fast- they couldn't. Then they tightened the security until it was almost impossible... and now we have no idea what happened to you in those five months. That's what we're trying to find out."

"Who rescued you? Cas?" Dean asked.

Castiel seemed to recede further into his silence as he shrunk closer to the window. Sam pressed his lips together. "No, Baby did."

_You understand you couldn't_. Baby quickly shot out the thought to Castiel, trying to comfort him._They_ _had you, and they could make you do anything_.

Castiel refused to reply as he looked out the window. Finally he weakly said back, _I know_.

_Stop being so hard on yourself. It's bad for your health, Cas. You've slowed your recovery_. Baby subtly looked at him in the rear view, trying to assess how he was doing.

He'd gotten somewhat better since the device was removed, but it had stopped after that. He should have been close to a hundred percent by now.

_It's not that_. Castiel admitted, and he avoided the glance from the mirror. The two mutated pieces of grace were sucking all his energy away as he struggled to sustain them. _I wish to not talk about it._

Baby shrugged, acknowledging him. _Fine. Later_. _I_ mean _it, Cas_.

"What do you think happened when I was caught in Heaven?" Dean asked again, under his breath. He was on an answer streak, and even though not all of them had been good, he wanted to find out more.

"We don't know, Dean. But we do know they messed with you. You can't be healed except with an angel you've bonded with. Baby was telling me that your abilities are much more unstable and unpredictable than mine. They also seem to be both inhibited and crystalized somehow."

"English, Sam." He pointed out eagerly.

"They've taken some away. Or at least blocked them temporarily." There was a beat of silence. "I can do many things you can't. Kind of like how I can do this," He said lightly, and suddenly he flicked his wrist and was holding a long, silver blade.

Dean felt the blood drain from his face. Just this one image brought up so many emotions and thoughts. There were so many things wrong with this. He closed his eyes and turned away, putting his hand out in front of him.

"Put that away. Right now." He found himself in complete denial. In no way could this be real, and he didn't want to see his brother right in front of him, holding a blade that was his. They were supposed to be able to rest one day. They could share a heaven, everything would finally be over. He didn't think that was possible now. Sam frowned.

"Sorry. I didn't think that would scare you." He said in a low voice. Dean flusteredly took in a few breaths. He felt overwhelmed, and it might have been a little bit better if he could remember what had happened. Maybe if he actually got some badass skills he'd feel better, but everything he did was subconscious and random. _Perfect. It's always been my dream to be a defective part-angel with horrible memory issues. _He thought sourly.

_And ugh, my food_. He leaned back into the seat again with an exasperated sigh. He wasn't sure how long it woud take him to get himself used to this, that he was an angel. To accept that this was really who he was now.

"It's all going to be fine, Dean. You have me and Sam and Cas, we're all here for you." Baby said kindly. He was growing on him, which was unexpected since Dean hated people who threw out cheeseballs like this.

"Yeah, thanks." He blew it off, almost embarrased. But it did make him feel better to have more than just one person to rely on, he truly had a kind of support group. And three people was so much more than he'd ever expected.

"Your memories can come back. Then we'll know how to end this shit once and for all," Baby said almost angrily, turning to look at the open road.

Dean closed his eyes and looked out the window. As long as this didn't get in the way of anything _else_ he loved, he felt maybe he could deal with it. All he asked for was his family, and the ability to help people.

And at least his family had increased by one kind yet badass member, who could finally reveal more to him about his past. And he'd gotten Cas back, that was important too. Still, the food issue was a bitch. He wished he could trade off his loss with Sam, his brother would probably rather sleep anyway.

As the day dragged on, Dean had the nagging worry about how long it would be before he'd have to sleep again. He tried to distract himself as he listened and talked lightheartedly with Baby and Sam. All those years of never talking seemed to lead Baby to want to speak as much as possible when he was finally human again.

He had a comforting, low rumbling voice as he talked, it was pleasing to the ear. He told all kinds of stories to Dean and Sam, mainly about them when they were younger, times they couldn't remember, or about their parents before they'd been born.

Dean noticed that Castiel hadn't gotten much better since they'd rescued him. He still was underweight, and seemed out of it most of the time, even now he leaned on the window, resting and looking but not observing as the landscape rushed by. Dean didn't want to say anything- what he'd gone through must have been horrible, and if he needed more time to regain his strength, so be it.

Dean felt a yawn in his throat and he began to get tired as the light grew long and the sky started to grow darker. It had been such a long day, too.

"Sam, I don't want to fall asleep." He suddenly voiced, yawning. He felt genuinely scared.

"Hmm? Why not? It must be pretty nice," He replied, and Dean realized he wasn't the only one who had given up something. Sam probably missed sleeping too. But there was no way he'd missed it as much as Dean would miss his food.

"I always see things then. They're horrible. And... this might sound kind of dumb, but there's a pattern I think. Each one has been getting longer and more detailed...Sam, what if I'm gone for a while this time?" He asked in a small voice. He felt so dysfunctional, so unpredictable. Practically anything could happen to him, and he hated that feeling.

"So talk to me. Tell me what you've seen." He wrapped his arm around the seat to face him, resting his chin on the cushion.

"Two of them you were in. When I was passed out, I saw Cas when he made the bonds." Sam nodded his head lightly, remembering.

"Oh, yeah. There had been matches, and your arm just didn't stop glowing. I found that peculiar." Sam looked like he was struggling to recall, which seemed weird to Dean since he felt like the event had really happened just a few hours ago. He also didn't like that Sam remembered. That meant his other dream had been just as real.

"The first one I saw a hand, sitting in some pool of silver blood. There was this weird tool on the ground." He explained, shivering as he remembered.

Sam looked confused. "That must have been after my time. That's, that's good. We need to know those. What else, Dean?"

Dean glanced away. He didn't know if he wanted to say. "We were in cages. You were screaming, and some weird noises... like bones were cracking, or skin was ripping, and I smelled blood..." He blinked slowly. "Never mind. Forget I mentioned it."

When he looked back up, Sam's face had fallen.

_The time I grew my wings. He remembered. _

Sam gulped a little. "Good idea." He said, which scared Dean more. To his horror, he felt his eyelids getting heavier and his eyes felt dry and tired.

"You need to sleep, Dean. All of us will be here, we'll make sure you're okay. You've had a long day." Dean couldn't agree more. "Thanks, Sam." He yawned. "Just...wake me up if it looks bad, okay?" He asked quietly.

"I will. Get some good rest, Dean. For both of us." Now it was clear Sam missed it. Maybe somewhat close to how Dean would miss food.

Dean leaned his head on the cushion and shut his eyes, feeling sleep pulling him down. He was too tired to worry now about what would meet him on the other side tonight.


	5. Of Wings & Fledglings

Dean blinked his eyes again, waking up on the other side. But this time felt different. He felt like he was really there, that it wasn't just a dream as he felt like he was really awake, like he was almost back in time, that everything he was experiencing truly hadn't happened yet.

The matchbox was still in his hand, but it wasn't the sharp-cornered cardboard he'd first received. The edges were soft and worn down, like he'd stroked it hundreds of times since he got it. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it lightly, an action he could tell he'd done many times in the past.

"Sam," He called out softly, sliding to curl next to the prison he knew contained Sam. His hand was too raw to shove through the bars anymore.

"He couldn't. He didn't get us out," Sam replied hoarsely, his voice sounded like he had been crying.

"He's coming back, Sam. He promised," Dean answered, running his thumb down the side of his box of matches again, as if he was trying to be reassured by it. He promised him he'd come back. He stoked the box again. He promised.

"Oh, no." He heard Sam say fearfully in a raspy whisper, as he heard shuffling noises as he shrank back into the furthest depths of their cells.

Dean saw a dim, white-light lantern and the man carrying it bumping slowly down the hall. He realized there were so many other cages, he saw at least six extending in that direction. And they were all filled, broken, caged people all shrinking in fear from the light. He bumped closer, inspecting them. Dean realized there were two zombie-eyed angels behind him, following him slowly with blank expressions.

He stopped at Dean's cage, to his horror. Dean was finally able to see in the dim light, and he saw Sam had curled up in a ball at the back of his cage, shielding his face and whimpering slightly. He was so dirty and looked broken as he shied away, and he had _wings_. They weren't impressive and beautiful whatsoever: they looked ragged, dirty, caked with blood. He brought one up to protect his body in a clumsy motion, they were a dark color, but he couldn't tell exactly what in the light. They looked like they might be a dark brown or black.

"Well, would you look at this little solider. Haven't got your wings yet, huh?" The man drawled, tapping a crowbar on the bars. He made a gripping and pulling motion, and Dean was slammed into the bars and it pinned him to the front of the cage.

Dean struggled to breathe as his cheek was being pressed harshly into the bars. He was facing the man and the two angels, his breathing getting faster, like his body already knew what was coming next. The man roughly grabbed his arm and pulled it through a large gap with a metal plate that opened when he turned the key.

He took a knife and sliced open his lower arm horizontally, and Dean gritted his teeth with the pain. Sam whimpered loudly from the back of his cage.

"You. All of it." He snapped for one of the blank-faced angels. The man took the knife silently and sliced his own arm open, looking on unemotionally as if it weren't really his arm he was hurting. Suddenly, he had Dean's wrist in his arm with an iron grip, and was pressing his wound onto his. Dean tried to jerk away but found he couldn't, he was too pinned.

He watched as a bright white light began to pour from the zombie-angel's arm and into his, the light burning like fire as it reached into his blood and burned through his veins. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and felt as cries of pain ripped up his throat. He couldn't watch as the pain consumed him, flames licking over his skin and charring his bones.

He slid down the front of the cage, pain raked his body, and he tried to breathe in ragged breaths as he felt the flames pump through his heart, all through his veins. Then, he felt stabs of pain ripping down his spine, like someone had stabbed him with a knife and was pulling it straight down, splitting his spine clean in half.

He hunched up into a ball as his back exploded with pain. He heard a loud screaming, it took a second for him to realize it was coming from his own mouth. He felt the pain on his back and nothing else.

He felt his skin ripping, splitting apart from the inside, tearing two clean lines down his back, starting at his shoulder blades. He felt warm blood spill out from the gashes, slipping down his back. His screaming kicked it up a notch as his bones let out loud cracks, it felt like the two halves of his spine were wrenching out through the searing splits in his skin.

He felt the sharp edges scrub at his raw skin as the bones stiffened and pushed, exploding out of his back and ripping the skin with sharp, light objects that felt like steel wool scrubbing the edges of the splits. Sharp-edged feathers.

He curled in closer to himself, the smell of blood, his own blood, making him lightheaded. The pain began to ebb away, his back was throbbing as he felt the blood scabbing up and tightening the skin on his back. He fell to the floor, splashing into a puddle of his own blood. His back felt so heavy as his skin throbbed, the strange new bones pinched as they extended in an arch behind him.

"Sammy. Sam." He cried out with a whistling voice, he'd lost it when he'd screamed. He couldn't move to the side of his cage anymore.

"Dean, I'm right here." He replied softly, the shushing of his calloused palms on the bars as he tried to look in.

"What just happened?" His voice whistled out, as his back spasmed and clenched painfully. He gritted his teeth and his nails dug into the concrete, he tried not to cry out.

"That angel emptied his grace into you. And now, you've got your wings. And so have I." Sam explained in a pained voice. Dean rasped, trying to slow his breathing.

"Now there's no turning back," Dean whispered in reply, crying out as his new wings stretched and cracked. They were heavy with fresh blood, dripping onto the floor.

"I'm scared, Sam." He whispered, feeling burning tears slip from his eyes. He found that he had been holding onto the matches that whole time, and the box was a little crushed but still intact. He sobbed lightly, the hiccup in his chest shooting pain through his shoulder blades. He clasped the box into two of his hands, holding it over his heart. Cas had promised.

...

Sam looked back at his sleeping brother in the back with concern. "Baby, he's going on twelve hours. He _never_ gets that much sleep." He said, watching as Dean twitched slightly. "Should I wake him up?"

"No. He's remembering, he'll wake up when he's ready." Baby answered calmly, staring out at the road.

"What is he remembering? Can you tell?" He asked, also looking over at Castiel. He really didn't look so hot himself. He had his eyes closed, leaning weakly onto the door as his dark hair fell into his face.

"The time he got his wings." Baby replied, and Sam breathed in sharply. "Please let me wake him up. He doesn't need to see that. We already know about that." He pleaded, looking into Dean's troubled sleeping voice.

"You can try. He might not wake up." Baby answered, looking at the silent Castiel in the back seat. Sam sighed, biting his lip. He reached back and shook his shoulder, softly at first and then a bit rougher.

"Dean? Dean, please. Wake up." He shook him again, but he was sleeping like a log. He sighed and dropped back into his seat.

"Kaz, I'm afraid that this will affect him. You know how I was all shaken up when I first got out." He pinched his nose between his eyes, sighing again. "I wish we could only see those five months. I wish I could prevent him from living through that again."

"I know, Sam. What you both went through... it took you a while to get back on your feet. But you're alright now, right?" Baby asked, remembering. Sam had taken three months to get over the trauma of his experiences, and it had probably taken longer because Dean hadn't been rescued with him.

Sam regretted now how he'd treated Baby, he often had outbursts and would wreck things, much worse than Dean had. He'd always wish it had been him who was left behind, he wanted to do something, anything, but he couldn't, which caused it to be even worse. Still, Baby had been so patient, so kind, reassuring and gentle with him in his state of disarray. Basically, everything his dad had never been and everything he'd wanted him to do.

"Yeah, I'm alright." Sam replied, looking out the window.

"Then he will be, too." Baby said simply. There was a pause as Sam breathed a deep breath, letting himself be reassured, letting himself be comforted. He tried to let himself stop worrying.

"Thanks for never giving up on me." He said, smiling slightly as he went to look at his old friend again. God, he'd been so difficult. And Baby had just taken all of his crap and never given any back.

"Well, yeah, don't get used to it, buttercup." Baby replied, smiling slightly with just one corner of his mouth. "Dean'll be alright." On that note, he glanced back at his older brother in the rear view.

"Does Castiel look okay to you?" Baby mentioned, glancing at his older brother again. Sam saw that he looked like hell. "No," He replied, feeling his stomach drop.

"There's something wrong with him. Something he's not telling me. He's worrying me, Sam. We both have to work hard to help both of them, okay? Heaven has smashed both of them into little pieces, broken them almost to beyond repair. But we can fix it, if he try hard enough." Baby sighed sadly, reaching and putting his hand on Sam's shoulder. "It's going to be our turn to protect them. Think you can do that?"

"Of course," Sam replied, looking at Dean and frowning. He wished he could help him, so he wouldn't have to remember the horrors he'd comfortably forgotten about. As he watched, Castiel completely collapsed onto Dean.

"Cas!" He cried out at the same time Baby had.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam panicked, reaching into the back seat to feel his clammy, pale forehead. He was burning up.

"I don't know. Something is stealing all his energy, but I don't know what it is. He should have recovered by now, but he's getting worse. It's like more and more of his energy is disappearing every day. I don't know why." He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second. Sam wasn't sure, but it almost looked like he was hoping it wasn't something, something Sam could tell he'd experiened before.

"Anything I can do for Cas?" Sam spoke up, he couldn't stand to look at Baby's pained expression. It had taken Sam a little while to warm up to the idea that now Castiel was his older brother too since they'd bonded, and not just his friend. But as time went on, he found it was easier to think of him that way.

"Not that I know of. Just make sure he doesn't slide around back there, make sure he's comfortable." Sam gently leveled Cas's head onto Dean's back in a less awkward position that didn't strain his neck. He pulled his pinned arm out gently, moving it to be less twisted. It was strange to be taking care of him like this, when Castiel had always been the one helping them.

"Are you hungry Sam? Sorry, I keep forgetting." Baby asked as Sam sat back in his seat.

"Starved," Sam answered, shutting his eyes and putting his hands over his stomach.

"Sorry, Sam. It's hard to keep track when all these things keep going wrong." Baby said kindly, gently pushing the pedal down just a tad.

"You've been great, dumbass." Sam responded, flashing him a smile. At least they'd gotten one good thing out of all this shit.

...

Dean felt himself get hurled from his dream, he couldn't wait to escape the horrible pains on his back. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, his dream had dragged on and felt like it had taken real time. But something wasn't right as he felt a strange sensation in his stomach, like the first drop on a roller coaster.

His eyes flew open and he only saw a split second of the interior of his car, before suddenly he was somewhere else as he fell in fear from his flight, feeling a strong impact on his back as he slid a few yards to a stop, ripping apart some of the aspahlt he'd impacted with, leaving a huge skid in the road, ending in a large crater.

He groaned and plopped his head on the mound of earth and asphalt behind him. _Awesome_. First time he flies and he just nosedives into a crash. And as far as he knew, no one could heal him but Cas, who was too weak at the moment.

How the hell was he supposed to know how to heal himself? Or even get back? _Where am I? _Dean shut his eyes, trying to contain his frustration. His back felt like maybe a few more bones had cracked, his shoulder that had briefly dug into the ground was screaming; his collarbone and upper arm felt broken.

"Hey. Well, don't you look down on your luck. S'matter, you fall from the sky?"

Dean's eyes snapped open. He knew that voice. He _really_ knew that voice.

"You'll get better. It's really kind of funny though, looking back."

Dean squinted in the light, feeling light-headed. No, it couldn't be...

"Oh, my God!" Dean cried out, his eyes widening as he scrabbled to try and get up.

He came face to face with himself; his older self. This Dean looked mid-fourties, with deeper crows feet squinting around his eyes and just a bit of grey starting in his sideburns. The skin on his face looked a bit more weathered, and he wore a suit and tie. Other than that, he hadn't changed much.

"I didn't think a few gray hairs would scare you, considering." The older Dean chuckled.

"Dude, you time travel?" Dean asked in disbelief. He couldn't believe this was really happening.

"Well, I am a damn angel, you idiot." The older Dean quipped, smiling, his face wrinkling pleasantly.

"Awesome," Dean breathed, temporarily forgetting about the pains in his body. The older Dean quickly took care of that, putting his hand on his shoulder and his bones knit together instantly. Dean blinked up curiously at his older self, tilting his head to the side.

"Why come now?" He asked, looking into his older face. This was too strange as he felt like he was looking in a mirror, but not really.

"Look, I can't tell you too much about your future, and I'm going to be brief. I needed to heal you up, get you back. No one else was gonna do it." He shrugged, but then his face dropped into one of sadness and concern.

"Find Castiel when I take you back. He needs your help." The older Dean was swiftly grabbing for his shoulder, when Dean stopped him.

"Wait! Dean, does my life get better? Is it turning out good for you right now?" His heart ached when he realized that he really was going to live. He might actually get the chance to grow old- something he never thought hunters had the luxury of.

Older Dean smiled again, his face crinkling up especially by his eyes. "Guess you'll just have to wait and see, huh kid?" Older Dean winked and grabbed his shoulder, and suddenly he was standing outside of the Impala, the faint noise of the flapping of wings fading in the air.

"Bitch," Dean laughed as he muttered that under his breath. At least he knew he had at least ten more years on him. And this made him happier than he thought he'd be.

He spotted Baby and Sam talking easily through a window of the restaurant they were parked outside of. But, he saw no sign of Castiel.

_He needs your help. _For some reason, he had a huge hunch that something was very wrong. He quickly looked around, he was met with the sight of a splatter of dark red blood on the asphalt next to the car. He felt his stomach drop; this didn't look good at all.

"Cas?" He tried to call out, and as expected, he got no answer in return. He looked to the ground and saw four bloody footprints, swinging around before they faded, looking like he was headed around the car and over to the other side.

Dean looked over the hood quickly, and saw the treeline for some dense forest.

_C'mon, Cas. Please don't have gone in there_, he said to himself as he felt that same strange inkling that he _was_ in these woods, somewhere close by.

He didn't question it as he followed his gut, his feet crunching on the gravel until his footfalls finally fell silent with soft dirt underfoot.

"Cas? Cas, where are you, bud?" He called softly. To his horror, he saw another red splatter on the ground, and a tree trunk that looked like a piece had been ripped off, like the person had been stumbling and had grabbed onto it for balance. He realized- he must have been throwing up.

Dean could tell he was getting extremely near as something in his chest lifted. He only walked a tiny bit farther when he saw him, and his stomach dropped.

He was completely limp and splayed on a tree stump, his head resting heavily on the circle of wood, it was between limp arms that were bent at acute angles by his head, like a student asleep on their desk at school, or someone passed out over the toilet after one too many drinks. Red blood had stained part of the trunk and wooden circle, it traced back to the man's mouth.

"Dean..." He cried out weakly. Dean rushed to his side. He looked like hell. His face was pale and beading with sweat, his dark hair was sticking to his clammy forehead and was drenched as well. Dean noticed that his frail arms were shaking.

"Cas, what happened to you?" Dean demanded, feeling scared. Castiel closed his eyes and sighed shakily.

"I didn't want you to see me like this, Dean." He answered weakly, pulling his arm towards him and resting his cheek on it.

"So you decided to run away?! What the hell is the matter with you?!" Dean scolded, feeling protective feelings rise up in his chest.

"I was only going to get some fresh air. But then I couldn't come back." He admitted in a sickly voice, squeezing his eyes shut as he looked like he was struggling with a bought of nausea.

"I'm bringing you back right now," Dean growled, coming up to him and gently sweeping his damp locks from his forehead, and was surprised at the heat he felt. "Cas, you're burning up. Why would you run away and hide?" Dean asked, much less angry this time as concern laced his voice. "Can you stand?" He asked in a quiet voice. Cas's whole body was quivering.

"No," Cas admitted, squeezing his eyes shut again. It didn't seem to work as dark blood was suddenly forcing its way up his throat as it poured thickly onto the tree stump, the red slipping down the side quickly and absorbing into the wood.

"Jesus, Cas!" Dean let out, rushing to pull him to stand. God, he was so light. It almost felt like he weighed nothing as he tucked an arm underneath his knees and another on his back, starting back to the car as fast as he could. Castiel was breathing shallowly, looking like he was trying hard to not throw up again.

"What's wrong with you, Cas?" He asked in a low whisper. Castiel sighed shakily and melted into Dean's chest.

"Get Soloviel," He weakly pleaded, shutting his eyes as he leaned his head on his shoulder with all its weight. Apparently Castiel's little brother had sensed something was wrong also, he and Sam were waiting anxiously by the car, and the guardian angel sprinted up to them when he saw Dean ambling out of the woods with Cas in his arms.

"Oh, God. Thank God you found him," Baby exclaimed with relief. "Bring him to sit in the car. I need to find out what's wrong with him."

Dean gently sat him down on the car's bench seat in the back, holding him up by his shoulder as he swayed dangerously. Baby knelt down by the open door, grabbed his face by the cheeks and lifted, twisted and turned his limp head, he looked at his ears, his eyes, in his mouth, trying to scan over everything as his pale eyes darted over him.

" I don't know if there's a problem with his vessel. He already is very weak- something is taking up all his energy." He lay a hand over his brother's heart and closed his eyes, not only listening to the heartbeat but scanning through the rest of his body. Sam and Dean looked on, looking extremely concerned.

Baby cupped a gentle hand on the side of his face, shooting him some white healing energy. "Come on, Cas. Open you eyes." Cas's eyes fluttered open, and he breathed in a shaky breath.

"Tell me what's wrong. What hurts?" Baby asked, and Castiel looked like he was nodding off again. "Cas, please." Baby begged, tears popping into his eyes.

"Sol... I'm..I'm carrying.." Cas struggled to speak.

Baby's eyes widened as his eyes flicked to his chest and he grabbed Castiel's face, slapping his cheeks lightly a few times to make sure he stayed awake. Cas groaned and his eyes fluttered, struggling to open.

"Cas. Cas, tell me right now. Did you know about the other creature parts?" He demanded, shaking his shoulder. "Come on, bud. This is important." Sam and Dean were so confused as they watched.

"..Y..Yes..." Castiel answered weakly, his eyes rolling backward. Dean suddenly had to hold up all of his weight as he grew too weak to hold himself up anymore. Baby took in a deep breath and tried to contain his anger.

"Cas! Stay with me!" Baby demanded, dangerously serious. "How long? How long ago did this hapen?"

"Six," Castiel whispered slowly, opening his eyes strenously and fluttering his eyelashes.

"Six?! Six months?! Godammit!" Baby slammed his hand on the side of the car.

"What's going on?" Dean blurted, feeling so worried and he had no idea what was going on. Baby looked like he was on the verge of frustrated tears. "Not now, Dean. He's slipping." He dismissed quickly, bringing his hand to Cas's cheek.

"Who, Cas? Who's your bond-mate?" There was a beat of silence, and Dean and Sam thought he had been too exhausted to answer, but when Baby furiously accused "What do you mean you don't_ know?_ Bullshit, Cas!", they realized he must have been communicating silently with him.

"Get in the car. Right now. Dean, stay with Cas." Baby wrentched open the car door and jumped in, screeching out of the lot. The speedometer steadily climbed as he focused on the road while pulling out a cigarette, sliding it in to light it and sucking on it like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

The speedometer had reached almost seventy before Sam spoke up. "This isn't a suicide mission, Kaz! Slow down! And put that awful thing out. I don't think your vessel will appreciate that very much."

Baby let out a frustrated sigh as he mashed the cigarette out on the back of his driving hand, which he healed instantaneously, and gave the butt to Sam, who tossed it out the window. Dean securely held Cas's head on his lap as it lolled with every bump, he was completely unconcious now.

"What's wrong with him, Baby?" Dean piped up, looking down and gently brushing the wet hair from his face. He felt his heart squeeze as he saw how bad he looked.

"What have they done to him? To them?" Baby muttered angrily under his breath, trying to puff on his cigarette before he realized he had thrown it out. He sighed deeply, and slowed the car down slightly.

"This is bad, Dean. He's very, very sick." He admitted, quickly glancing at Castiel and frowning.

"What's bad? What the hell is going on?" Dean demanded, feeling his anxiety get larger in his chest. He didn't want to accidently start damaging things again.

Baby sighed. "He's carrying fledglings. Started six months ago. It's why he hasn't been getting better." He said in a low voice, glancing at his older brother anxiously again.

"Carrying...You saying he's knocked up? What the hell! Do males usually..?" Dean fired out.

"We technically don't have genders, and it's quite interchangeable, but that's not the point. There's something wrong here. Very wrong. I've never seen anything like it before."

This sent Dean's stomach in knots. "What? What's wrong with it?"

"Think about it, Dean. Six months ago, he was being completely controlled. There's something very different with them, too. I don't think they're pure angel, I sensed numerous other creature parts... I have no idea what they are. They're taking so much more energy than regular ones are supposed to." Baby looked extremely distressed. "He didn't tell me who the other person was, their other father or mother. He said he didn't know, that it was an accident. I don't buy it." Sam and Dean were silent as they let that sink in.

Dean had so many questions. How was Baby able to tell he had them? He definitely didn't look any different. And how long did they need to keep them to develop? What did they even look like? _How_? But Baby seemed rushed, concerned as he continued. Dean didn't think it would be a good time for a lesson in Angels 101.

"Sam, Dean...I think that heaven inserted them, as some kind of experiment. He's not really carrying fledglings. They're more like monsters, some strange hybrids. And...they will kill him if we don't get them out soon. He's too weak already, they're feeding off too much of his energy, faster than he can make it." Baby bit his lips together and shook his head silently. "Oh, Cas. What have they done to you?" He cried under his breath.

"How do we get them out? Let's just do it right now." Dean demanded, looking at his friend's face as he slept. He had such a kind, beautiful, familiar face. It disgusted Dean to think that there were baby monsters inside of him right now, eating away at his life. Dean felt an overwhelming bought of anger. He wanted to rip the monstrosities out right now before they could take any more away from his best friend.

"It's not that easy, Dean. He has to be the one to do it. And if they've already been developing for six months- it would be extremely painful to take them out now, he might even die that way. The least painful and least dangerous would be to keep them for the full term. But by the looks of it, he won't make it that far."

Dean felt tears well up in his eyes. This couldn't be happening. Why didn't he tell any of them what was happening to him? Sure, him or Sam might not have understood, but not even Baby?

Baby let out a shaky sigh, running a hand anxiously through his black hair. "Dean, see if you can wake him up. We need to talk to him."

Dean tucked a piece of dark hair behind his ear gently. "Cas, please. If you can hear me, try to wake up. We have to talk to you. You need to answer some questions." He gently put a hand on his cheek, and there was still no response.

"Come on, Castiel. Please." He softly smudged his thumb across his cheek. "We don't want you to die."

Sam was surprised at how sweet he was being with Cas, how incredibly gentle. He was _never_ like that. In fact, he'd rather pretend he had no feelings than be a sop like this.

Cas's eyes fluttered open. Dean stroked his cheek with his thumb again, smiling slightly. "There you are," he said under his breath.

"What happened?" Cas asked, seeing he was in the car again. He wiped his forehead of the sweat with a clammy hand.

"Cas, how did this pregnancy start? Were they implanted?"

Cas looked extremely confused. "Implanted? No, no. I...I've bonded, I have my Other now." Cas said vaguely, looking like he was daydreaming and losing focus much too easily.

"Castiel, these things are killing you!" Baby emphasized, sounding flustered. "They're not angels, Cas. Then what the hell are they?"

Castiel almost looked hurt by this comment. "Sol, they _are_ angels. But they're other things too," He replied softly, zoning out.

"We're finding out a way to get you more energy, then we're sending those damn creatures where they belong. Hell." Baby clenched his jaw tightly, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. Dean now saw what he meant when he said Castiel was like his Dean. He fiercely cared about his older brother.

"No!" Cas boomed, suddenly scrambling to sit straight up. "No! They stay with me." He demanded, narrowing his eyes.

"You keep them, and you'll die, Castiel." Baby threatened, narrowing his eyes.

"I am keeping them. You cannot take them from me. No one will take them away," He said quietly, getting misty-eyed as he stared at the ground, his face looked sickly and pale. Finally he spoke up weakly.

"They really don't look like angels?" He asked softly, and Dean was surprised when he felt a tiny patter on his leg. Castiel was crying, and his tears plump and dropping like rain.

""Castiel. Tell me the truth. Who is the fledglings's parent? Your Other?" Baby asked quickly, not sure how much time he'd have before his brother passed out again. Cas screwed up his face at the question.

"Cas, please." Baby begged his older brother, the heartbreak in his voice.

At first, Castiel didn't seem like he would answer. Finally, he spoke up, licking his lips nervously.

He was so ashamed of what he'd let heaven do to them, that he didn't protect them. He didn't want to burden Dean by telling the truth. Another fat tear rolled down his face. Dean put his arm around his thin shoulder, making sure he didn't slide around as he rested all his weight weakly on him.

"Why don't you tell him, Baby?" Dean rubbed his shoulder. "It's okay." Still, Dean felt disgusted at the thought of these things growing inside of him. They'd kill these part-angel hybrid experiments the second they were born.

Dean rubbed Castiel's arm reassuringly, and the man sighed so lightly it was almost hard to hear.

"Hang on, bud. It'll all be okay. We're not going to let you die, and these _things_ will be long gone soon." Castiel leaned closer to Dean's chest, and Dean slipped his arm closer, so that Cas's neck was in the crook of his elbow. He didn't think but just did: as he pulled him closer, he planted a little kiss on the dark hair on the side of his head.

"Please tell Baby who their other parent is, Cas."

The angel hesitated. Dean rubbed his arm again, pumping up and down like he was trying to warm him up, choosing to look at his messy black hair instead of up to the driver's seat.

"Dean.." Cas started in a pained voice. "Their father is Dean."

* * *

_I know this story takes a little while to warm up and doesn't jump into things, but I am glad you are sticking with it so far! I wanted to write an mpreg that is much different than the usual ones I see. I wanted to write one where Dean has no idea and conception was not through sex. That way Dean has to slowly grow to love Cas._

_Note: ALL of the time travel links back, and I mean all. So yes, this will be linked back when Dean is the older Dean we've seen. I take my time travel very seriously haha! Keep that in mind as you read :P_


	6. Monsters & Murders

Baby's eyes were boring into Dean's from the rear view mirror. "Dean." His voice was pinched.

"_No_." Dean lowered his eyes and covered his face, his hands were trembling.

"Dean..." Sam was pleading with him to listen to Baby.

"Abso_lutely_ not."

"Dean, it's true whether you want to to be or not." Baby added in gently. "When you bonded with Cas- did you glow for a long time afterward? On a large amount of your body?"

Dean remembered his dream when Cas had given him the matches, how weird it had been that his bond looked a lot different than Sam's, glowing for hours on his whole arm afterwards, whereas Sam's had only lit up his hand and had gone dark right after he let go.

"Well, yes, but-" Dean stammered, only to be interrupted.

"That's not a family-type bond, Dean. If you hadn't noticed, it was much more significant than that. That's a bond for an angel's life mates." Baby explained.

Dean pushed even furthe away from Cas. "We never..._did_ anything. We _touched hands, _Soloviel. What the hell am I supposed to believe? That these..._things_ are really mine?" Dean was angry. He was furious, he was overwhelmed, he was scared.

"It is not about intimacy of the body, Dean. It's about the soul, and it must be mutual." Upon seeing Dean's expression, he tried to break it to him lightly. "You and Cas are Others now, even if it was on accident. You are in a mated bond."

"Cas never told me anything!" Dean boomed, feeling blood rushing into his cheeks and making his face hot. "And I...I'm not having _fledglings_ with him!" He felt his stomach drop just saying it aloud. There was a beat of silence.

"It's the only explanation, Dean." Baby told him, firmly this time. "You bonded six months go, it was not a family-type bond. There's no other way."

Dean ripped away from Cas, gripping his face with hands full of tension. "No, there has to be something else. There has to. It was someone else." He shook his head violently. "This isn't happening. I'm not having..." He knew what they were. _Monsters_.

"I am not going to let him have them! I will not be the father to freaks of nature!" He felt tears begin to fall from his eyes. He thought his shot at being a father was gone. Then, just by chance, he suddenly could again. And these were not what he wanted. He would _hunt_ these things if he ever encountered them. He always wanted to be a dad, always. But not like this. He wanted to be a dad so badly it ached. Not to them. Not to experiments gone wrong.

Then it hit him. He was the one who was killing Castiel. He was the reason he had these fledglings in the first place, eating his energy, giving him pain and shakes and vomiting. "Oh my god." Dean breathed in realization. "I'm killing him. This is my fault."

Castiel looked up with tear-stained eyes. "No...no, Dean, it was an accident." Cas said shakily, looking somewhat scared at the way Dean was looking at him, rage on his face.

"So you decide to do what? Turn them into monsters?!" He accused.

"They are not monsters." Cas replied, his hand tenderly laying over his chest, where the little stars of grace were growing. "Dean, please..." His voice was strained.

"Let him talk, Dean." Sam somewhat scolded. "Tell us everything, Cas."

He opened his weary eyes and continued, after a small, painful sigh. "I noticed that I was carrying fledglings six months ago. At first, they were angel."

Cas thought back to that white room. He'd suddenly appeared, right after he'd found out what happened when he bonded with Dean, the meshing of grace and the pieces of new life that had started to grow inside him. His Superior, Naomi, sat behind the gleaming white desk, and she looked pissed. She'd been one of the first to organize the new, terrifying heaven, and the things she did to the angels she was in command of...her new power made her absolute, terrifying.

"Naughty, naughty, Castiel. You've been very bad," She scolded in a terrifyingly calm voice. "What do you have there, Castiel?"

"It was an accident," Castiel quickly replied, putting a hand up to shield his chest, where the two tiny stars dotted his grace.

"You should be glad I don't ask you to kill them all on the spot." Naomi had threatened dangerously. "Thankfully for you, we could use them."

Cas looked to Sam as he hesitated to fully explain. "Sam, this greatly ties in to why you and Dean were turned into angels in the first place."

"I saw what happened to us in those cages, Sam." Dean said, crossing his arms. "You never told me- why did they do that to us? And there were so many others..." Dean looked glassy-eyed as he remembered.

"Ever since heaven found out that the demons knew about an angel tablet, they've been obsessed with trying to find weapons against them. Angels as weapons. Their control methods were highly inefficient, because the angels being controlled would do only what they asked and not take initiative themselves, like robots." Sam combed a hand through his hair, looking like he didn't want to continue. Dean remembered those zombie-like angels they'd only used for their grace during Conversion.

"So, they turned to Earth to see what characteristics would be best for a sort of supersolider who would make their own decisions and get things done with an unbending will and determination. They started out with a few, turning them, breaking them, replacing them with the defective angels and implanting the device. And it _worked_." Sam sighed, glancing back to make sure Castiel would agree with him.

"Weapons. That is what my children are as well." Castiel said quietly. "It has been heaven's obsession to create superweapons ever since the tablet was rediscovered. They took them, my children, trying to make them uptake so many other creatures. I...never resisted."

At this, everyone's heads turned to him and Dean fixed him with a piercing gaze.

Cas tried to explain himself. "I did not care what they became as long as they let me keep them. They did many experiments, some took, some didn't. Human, Phoenix, Skinwalker, Werewolf... I believe this is all they are. Many of the serums they tried failed. It was...painful to say the least." Cas paused, a tear rolled down his cheek. Sam, Dean and Baby all had looks of disbelief on their faces.

"Then, Soloviel was able to rescue me from that place. I don't know what else they would have tried. But already it was too much. They require so much of my energy..." More tears streamed from his eyes. "But I still love them. They are my children, no matter what they've become. And I went through so much suffering to keep them. So I will not kill them now, not after everything." He buried his face in his hands, sobbing gently.

Dean fought the disgust he felt rise in his chest. "They're monsters," He voiced in disbelief. There was not even a name for something with that many proportions. It blew his mind that these creatures were here within his best friend right now.

"They are both angel, human and phoenix. One is part skinwalker, the other werewolf." Again, he was met with shocked expressions.

"I feel...impure carrying them. Their substances do not always mesh with my holy composition. It's painful. But I know that they are not predisposed to be monsters, to be bad. They can be _good_," He insisted, wiping a tear from his face and smiling slightly. "I could raise them to be good. They could use what they are to help people." He smiled wider, hopeful.

"You wanted this, then. You wanted to give Heaven what they wanted, these weapons." Dean accused, and Cas looked like he'd taken it as a physical blow.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut. "I didn't...I never wanted that for them!" He insisted. He couldn't even look Dean in the face. "They forced me..Dean, they told me they were going to kill them if I disobeyed. I do not want to burden you with their existence. I can raise them by myself." He pleaded, wiping his tears pitifully from his face.

"You're damn right you will. And when they mess up, when they kill people, when they turn evil...and they will, they _always_ do...I'll be there. And I will kill them." Dean threatened in a low voice. Castiel burst into sobs.

"This is not how it is supposed to happen. I never-" Castiel was abruptly interrupted as Dean wrenched open the car door. Cas tried to follow, and Dean spin around, he hit Cas with a rough punch to the face.

"Jesus Christ, Dean!" Sam cried out, rushing and yanking his brother away from Castiel roughly by the shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Dean shoved his brother off angrily. "This isn't happening to you, Sam! You don't understand!" He jabbed his fingers to his chest, tears popping into his eyes.

"I've always wanted to be a dad. So. Damn. Badly." He jabbed his chest with every word. "Now I have my one chance, one, Sam, _one_, and I find out...I find out they're _that_." A tear dripped from his eye and he rubbed it away angrily.

"Everyone leave me the _fuck_ alone. Especially him." He stormed from the car, things exploding and splitting in his wake.

"This is what you always do, Dean! Run away!_ Castiel needs you!"_ Sam accused in an angry voice to his back as he walked away. Dean almost seemed to falter, but then continued as if nothing had happened.

Sam and Baby rushed to Castiel, who was holding his purpling cheek, lying on the floor. Baby helped to gently pull him up, he made no indication of working his own legs to support his weight.

"He hates me." Cas said lightly in a distanced voice. "I hate me."

"Don't say that." Baby scolded him, looking empathetic. He rubbed Castiel's back lightly. Cas made no indication that he felt anything.

"I should never have attempted to bond with him. I knew that I felt very strongly for him...I care about him. I assumed that was not mutual. I should not have taken that risk." He wiped a tear from his eye slowly. "And now my only bond-mate hates me."

"They _are_ monsters. They _are_ freaks of nature. Their impurities pain my grace." Cas looked down to the floor. "But I have to love them." He choked out. "Soloviel, these are the only children I've ever had. My firstborns. I did not think things would end up this way."

Baby silently wrapped him into a hug. Sam did the same. He felt Cas's body shaking with sobs beneath his arms.

"You still have six months to get right with Dean. I know him, Cas. Better than he knows himself. He will not stay angry for that long. He _will_ come to talk to you." Baby insisted, pulling his head into his shoulder.

"But I will not be able to tell him anything he wants to hear," Cas replied bitterly. They were silent for a long time. His little brothers did not let go of him for a while.

"You're a good person, Cas." Baby insisted. "Changing them-it's not your fault."

Cas looked up to him, his eyes fierce. "I'm not good anymore." He shot out. "I killed my brother Samandriel. I hurt my children. I killed Sam and Dean." He chanted in a broken voice. "I killed all of them."

"No, you didn't!" Baby countered him fiercely, coming up and tightly gripping his shoulders. "You did _not_ kill Sam and Dean. You almost died yourself, Castiel!"

Castiel stared into nothingness, tears dripping, uninterrupted neither by blinking nor wiping away, rolling down his face. He remembered that day, every detail.

...

He'd appeared in Naomi's office again, after they'd poked and prodded Alfie's body, the body he'd delivered them.

"Samandriel told you, didn't he?" She asked, narrowing her cold eyes.

"Yes. And I don't want to do what you tell me anymore. You're not going to control me." He replied, narrowing his eyes right back.

"You're not about to get smart, Castiel. And I can control you. Thanks to _Samandriel" -_she sneered the name like it left an awful taste in her mouth-" the demons know about the tablet. We have a solution to protect it. And that solution involves those dear little humans of yours, Sam and Dean?" She played with a pencil nonchalantly on her desk, her lips curling upward when she asked the question.

Castiel stiffened, a cold fire burning in his eyes as he spoke up again. "No. Whatever you want me to do, the answer is no." He said in a cold voice, trying to sound strong. Unbending.

Naomi looked peeved. She licked her lips and leaned forward at her desk, lacing her fingers together. She spoke up in a dangerously commanding voice, her eyes burning.

"Look. You may think you have control. _You don't,_" She explained coldly, her eyebrows twitching downward.

"You will not interfere. You will tell me where they are at all times. And you will not bring them back."

Castiel felt like his grace had been ripped from his body as he heard these words. He was transported back to Earth, the conversation that had been going on when he left was continuing mid-word like he'd never even left. Sam stopped mid sentence, noticing Castiel's confused and sorrowful expression.

"Cas, you alright? You got a little something.." He mimed wiping his cheek, looking at Castiel quizzically.

"I'm fine, Sam. My vessel has a small problem," Castiel voiced numbly, he didn't believe the words his lips were forming. Sam shrugged, looking back at the road.

"If you say so." Sam knew something was wrong.

_Please. Run away from me and never tell me where you are. Never see me again if you value your life. _He wanted to scream this at the top of his lungs, but the device was choking his brain, murdering his will.

The angels came for them that night.

_You will not interfere_.

Castiel had to watch as his friends, weak and extremely human, were murdered right in front of him. He fought back against the device with every ounce of will he had. The closest he was able to get was to fall to his hands and knees and crawl a few feet toward them.

He almost killed himself in trying to resist the command. Blood poured from every orifice in his face as the tendrils constricted his brain tighter and tighter. Red streamed from both eyes, his nostrils, his mouth, his ears. He fell to the ground as his body was torn between commands from Castiel and commands from the device. The last things he saw through his fading vision were Dean get run through by an angel blade, his face growing pale, dropping all its tension. Sam was next, the looks of terror and disbelief were heartbreaking as a blade was stabbed without hesitation into his stomach.

Castiel felt the blood streaming from his face, the last thing he did was reach his shaking hand out, as if he could help them now. Then, he collapsed with a thunk to the ground as he passed out cold.

When he awoke, the angels had gone. Castiel stumbled to his feet, almost falling to his knees again when he saw their bodies. Their skin was pale and lifeless, they already looked like corpses. Dark red blood bloomed from the stab wounds in their stomachs, some of it wicking into the threadbare, wrinkled motel sheets their bodies lay on.

Dean's eyes were closed, his face looking anything but peaceful. He looked angry, frightened, and vengeful. _Betrayed_. Castiel realized. Sam's eyes were open, which made it even worse. They looked glassy and dead as they hung half-open on his bloodless face, like a doll's. Castiel felt the same way about Sam's expression. Betrayed.

His eyes instantly were brimming with tears, his face twisted into an expression of pure grief as he stumbled to their corpses, falling and ripping the bed frame as he lost his balance and fell over, hit with the purest form of emotion.

_You will not bring them back._

He sobbed, his whole body shaking with them. He reached up with a shaking hand and stroked Dean's hair, feeling his lifeless, lukewarm skin under his fingertips. "I'm sorry," He sobbed, running his fingers lightly over the skin of his clammy cheek over and over. "I'm so sorry."

She never said anything about burying them.

Castiel spent the day grieving and burying his friends. He made the perfect grave; it was peaceful, it was secluded, it was beautiful. He chose a hill because he believed these two to be elevated higher than regular humans.

He cut out a rectangular grave for them to share. As he looked down at their bodies, lying side by side in the dark soil, something seemed off. He tilted his head, trying to find out what. He realized soon enough.

He transported himself down to the bottom of the pit, and he took Dean's limp arm, struggling only slightly against the rigor mortis that had begun to set it. He uncurled his lifeless fingers and laced them into Sam's. They would have wanted it this way.

He transported the pounds and pounds of soil to lay over the bodies. One second it was empty, another it was full. He almost wished he had chosen the painstaking burying process, just one shovelful at a time, he needed to punish himself. But it was too late.

He made the nicest grass grow over their grave. Green, healthy, soft blades that grew long but not too long. He took one of the prettiest oak trees from a forrest and magicked it to grow there instead. Lastly, he brought the Impala to sit under the tree. He did not want anyone else to ever drive this car. This was _their_ car. This was their guardian angel's vessel as well: but he was not present within the metal and leather and engine any longer.

He curled up on top of their grave, gripping the grass tightly as the blades poked up from between his fingers. The light and shadows played on his face as the dapples moved with the wind combing through the oak's leaves. He stayed there for a long time. He couldn't remember- it had been possibly two days. He didn't notice the rising and setting of the sun very much. At first, tears had streamed from his eyes like waterfalls, unending. Then, eventually, they stopped coming. He felt like he was being swallowed whole by numbness.

He succumbed to his device, doing whatever Naomi told him after that, dropping into the category of a zombie-minded angel himself. It was only for a brief few moments that he resisted to meet them to bond with them, once he'd found out what had happened to their souls. The souls he'd let be murdered.

Baby tried his best to comfort Castiel, but the man seemed unresponsive to his words or hugs.

Cas hoped Dean would come back to him soon. He'd hesitated to tell him that an Other meant once an angel found a mate, the bond was for life. Cas didn't know if he could ever get Dean to love him after everything he'd done.


	7. The Damn Hard Decision

Dean had finally flown by himself, and he landed somewhat haphazardly on the concrete outside of a bar. He had no money- he didn't need it. He could get hammered out of his mind and then just fly away. Yeah, that was his plan.

He stumbled in and took a barstool. "Scotch," He ordered, folding his arms underneath him and breathing out a hot breath of air angrily. The _things_ he'd been so intent on killing- to find out they were his...he didn't know how to react. It was his fault. And when he saw Cas, pale, shaking, vomiting blood- that had been him too. And if these freaks of nature grew up and killed people, their blood would be on his hands, if he didn't do something about them now. The things Cas carried were just lethal time bombs waiting to explode.

He wished he could drink every single bottle of anything in this bar. He propped his elbows on the bar one at a time, he covered his face with his hands and sunk into the barstool, trying to clear his head.

If there was something that was your fault that could both destroy or be helpful, but it's more likely to destroy, what would you do? He asked himself. The answer used to be so clear.

These things could kill people. Lots of people. And that would be on his shoulders.

He finally made up his mind. He _would_ stop it. They needed to be disposed of. He finally received his drink, downed it, and ordered another. He wanted to get so plastered that he didn't have to think. He silently downed drink after drink, he loved the burn as it went down his throat, feeling it kicking in as his face grew hotter.

How ironic. How _godamn_ ironic that this would happen to him. He hunted things like this, he practically never made exceptions. Even when it had been Sam's friend, and she'd claimed she was good. Why did this happen to him of all people?

He tried to talk to other people, pretty girls, the bartenders, but he found he couldn't really hold a conversation without it coming back to them. He wanted to come here to think about anything else, but his mind kept returning to the fact that he was going to have kids.

For a split second he felt excited and a rush of emotions tumbled over him; first steps, first words, first birthdays. What would they look like? What would they act like? He could teach them how to throw a ball and shoot a gun. He could have someone calling him dad.

Then he shook his head, snapping himself out of it. The alcohol must have somehow changed his mindset. No. This was different. Maybe they wouldn't even look human. Maybe they'd be dangerous. Heaven could steal them away and turn them into mass weapons, and then what would he do? He wouldn't be able to kill his own kids then. He felt light headed. He didn't want to drink anymore, he just wanted to crawl up in the Impala and sleep, think about anything else.

He slid off the stool and teleported so that he was just outside the door, and he landed somewhat off balance. He didn't care who saw him. He had just one damn thing on his mind.

He had no idea what he was supposed to do. These things were his children, but they were also monsters. And he hunted monsters, always, no questions asked. _They're angel, human, werewolf, skinwalker or shapeshifter or something like that, a combination like that... _his mind was made. They _had_ to be destroyed. He was going to go back and make sure that happened, no matter how much he'd have to heckle Cas.

Suddenly, Dean was slammed into the brick wall next to him. Dammit, he'd been so lost in his head he'd totally not been paying attention. He had a strong fist to the face before he could even see who his attacker was. He tried to shove him off, but he was too strong, especially since he was tipsy.

"What is your problem?" Dean barked out, shoving him off again. Then, he met the face with shock. It was him from the future, again, but this Dean didn't look any older than he was now.

"Don't be a stupid idiot!" The (somewhat) older Dean punched him full in the face again. Dean touched his face, confused. He spat out a tiny bit of blood.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He demanded. Ow, his cheek hurt. At least he knew he could really throw a punch. "Nice one, by the way." He didn't know why he said that. He figured it was himself, and even though this guy was pissed off, he was still Dean. And we was a little drunk.

"Thanks. Kind of been out of practice though." Future Dean roughly grabbed Dean's shoulder and pulled him to stand up straight.

"Look, I know that you don't want these kids. That you're conflicted. But I really needed to send the message that these kids are going to be the best things that have ever happened to you. Hands down."

Dean blinked up at himself, amazed. It was so weird meeting himself from the future, and the near future at that. The future Dean was scowling, looking into his face. "You are not to try and kill them. You aren't going to convince Cas that they're bad either." Dean blinked up at him again, realizing.

"Do...do you have them right now?" He asked eagerly, feeling a fluttering in his chest.

"I don't know how the hell this future stuff works, but I'll tell you that. Yes."

Present Dean felt tears popping into his eyes. "God dammit, I'm just so confused. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Go back with Sam and Baby and Cas. Tell Cas that he was right, that you shouldn't get rid of them. That they can grow up to be good, that they can help people. Tell him it's because they're the most beautiful kids I've ever laid eyes on." Tears were now coming from Future Dean's eyes, but he wasn't exactly sad. Maybe they were happy tears.

"But...they're monsters." Present Dean voiced, narrowing his eyes. They had to be stopped. He was surprised as he was met with another hard fist to the face.

"You are to never call them that _ever_ again." Future Dean seethed through gritted teeth, gripping him by the shirt and shoving him into the wall. Dean didn't have to know this expression in the mirror to know he was being protective, far more than his own big-brother mode. He didn't think he'd ever see that fierce papa-bear mode coming from him, but here it was.

Future Dean suddenly grew less angry, letting go of his shirt. "They're just kids, Dean. They're only babies. They're more scared about what's happening to themselves than you are. They are much more normal than you are thinking right now." Dean saw Future Dean's eyes somewhat glazed over, like he was remembering something.

"You love them." Dean voiced, seeing the expression on his future self's face. He'd never seen that expression in a mirror, but that was the way Sam or Cas or Baby sometimes looked at him.

"Of course I love them. More than myself. Way more than myself."

He somewhat slap-patted the younger Dean's cheek, smiling slightly. "You'd love them too, if you met them right now. You're me, so obviously you'll love them later. But you _need_ to keep them. Understand? They make you the happiest you've ever been in your miserable little life."

Dean was dumbstruck. He just now realized how much he wanted this. He almost felt horrified: what if he _had_ said to kill them? He had to tell Cas right now how he felt, his decision.

"Thanks...?" He called, but the future Dean had already disappeared. Dammit, he had to stop visiting himself. This couldn't be good for space/time continuum or whatever the hell that meant.

He had to concentrate a little harder through the alcohol to fly this time. He came back to the Impala, and was met with surprised glances.

"Are you ready to talk, Dean? Or are you just going to punch Cas in the face again?" Baby asked acidly, he was helping Cas into the car.

"No. I want to talk." He said, looking at the ground. He felt ashamed at how he'd treated him, how he'd reacted. Especially after everything he'd gone through.

"What happened to your face?" Sam asked wearily.

"I got jumped. By myself. From the future- look, it's a long story. But he changed my mind. Or I changed my mind. Just let me talk to Castiel." Sam looked upset for Castiel, but he slid out of the car and led Baby away by his arm.

Dean hesitantly climbed into the car, pulling the door to slam behind him. There was an extremely awkward silence as Castiel kept himself pinned to the farthest edge of the car, avoiding his eyes. Dean sucked in a breath, he looked and saw that Cas had a flask in his hand, which he tipped back into his mouth. He smelled the strong scent of whisky waft into the air.

"I never took you for a drinker." Dean voiced. There was another awkward silence. He shouldn't have said anything.

"I might be now." Cas answered, swallowing a large gulp. His face looked so exhausted and weary as he looked at him with those defeated blue eyes. He was waiting for Dean to talk again.

"Look, I know I never expected to be the father to-" He started, but Cas interrupted him.

"If...if you think they will be murderers..." Tears started to gleam in the angel's eyes. "If you believe that, then...I trust you. If you ask..." Cas closed his eyes, a look of pain on his face. "I will have them killed. If you really think so...I will arrange for that." A tear silently slipped down his face. Dean felt his heart give a little squeeze.

"No, no. I...no. That's not going to happen." He felt like he was stumbling over his own tongue. He felt that rush of positive emotion again, that this wasn't going to be a bad thing. His future self had assured him. "You're going to keep them. I told myself that...apparently, they are going to be the best things that ever happen to me."

He looked up and saw's Cas's burning blue eyes filled with tears, but he was smiling slightly. He closed his eyes, bringing his hands to rest tenderly over his chest. This must be where they were. "Thank you." He breathed shakily.

"I...what are they?" Dean asked quietly, surprising himself when tears came to his eyes. He couldn't believe...maybe he could be a dad.

"They're both male." Castiel voiced quietly. Dean felt another flare of happiness in his chest- like him and Sam. But they'd be closer in age. _Twin boys_, he found himself thinking, his chest rising.

"Are they..." He didn't know why he felt so overwhelmed. Well, he had basically gone through the whole human emotion spectrum in the past few hours. And now, his greatest fear, that he would be responsible for many deaths, had vanished, and one of his oldest wishes, to be a dad, was coming true.

"Are they okay? Are they healthy?" He found tears spilling from his eyes. He quickly tried to wipe them away, he didn't want Cas to see. How embarassing.

"Yes. But I'm not so much." Castiel looked at his feet. Dean instantly felt horrible. He'd seen the effects this had on him, and it still hadn't really sunk in that he was to blame.

"This sucks ass," Dean said, frustrated and angry, and Castiel scooted closer to him, but made no other action.

"I am aware. Dean...if, if I am not able to survive..."

Dean felt his stomach twist into a knot. "No, Cas, you'll be fine." He rushed to reply. He would not be responsibe for the death of his friend. Unconciously, they'd been getting closer together in the car as they talked it out.

Castiel continued as if he hadn't heard him. "If I do not survive...please name one of them Leoniel. This means level-headed bravery and courage in Enochian. It's something I've always wanted..."

Dean found himself closing the gap between them and gently wrapping his arms around those thin shoulders. "You're not gonna die, Cas. So don't say things like that." Castiel seemed to relax, sighing sadly. "I suppose." There was another awkward silence as Dean pulled his arms off of him.

"Robert John. That's the name _I've_ always wanted." Dean spoke up to break the silence. It was embarassing how much he'd come up with little scenarios in his mind, convincing himself that maybe one day...

"Yeah. Robert John Winchester." It had a ring to it. He couldn't believe that this was really happening. None of those little false scenarios looked _anything_ like this. He never thought he'd have some weird experiments as children...with an angel. Without doing anything but touch him. He shook his head, this was all so strange. But he had almost started to accept it as truth.

Cas tilted his head to the side. "I did not think to add a middle name." He said, thinking for a second. "Samuel. Leoniel Samuel." Dean felt like throwing his arms around him for a hug. He'd chosen the name Sam. That was exactly what he himself would have done. Instead, he spoke up again.

"God. So this is really...this is really happening." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't ready. This had been sprung up on him, and it would be extremely hard trying to care for these strange creatures that the world had never seen before.

"Not for half a year, Dean." Castiel corrected him. He finally didn't look like he was afraid of Dean.

"Cas, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I acted like that to you. You don't deserve that from me. Especially after everything you've been through. And I know none of this is your fault." Castiel looked at the ground, keeping silent. "I know you didn't lie to me. I know this was a surprise for you too." He nodded slightly, but avoided his glance.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, noticing he had a peculiar expression on his face.

"I'm afraid that because they are not normal...I may perish. I don't want to do that to you. Or they may be difficult to handle. No doubt I will need to be separated after they are born, I'm much too weak all the time now...I wonder if you will be able to handle them by yourself." He voiced his concern, his eyebrows knitting together.

Cas. He would think of his death as a problem for Dean, not himself. Dean wished he could be a little more self-centered. Hell, when he got into the car, he'd been willing to do whatever Dean wanted, even though those clearly weren't his wishes.

"You're not going to die. And I won't be by myself, I'll have Sam and Baby to help." Dean tried to reassure him. "I know...I know we both never saw this coming. Especially the fact that they'd be other creatures too. But, we can turn this around, make the best of a bad situation. I promise this will be a good thing. I came back and I know that I'll love them, I told me." He didn't care if that sounded strange, it was the truth.

Dean stiffened as Cas's head fell to his shoulder. He was not expecting him to be so forgiving. "Thank you for understanding." He sighed, and Dean gave him a little pat on the back. "You're the one going through hell for this, not me."

"But Cas-" Dean started, feeling uneasiness swell in his chest as he forced himself to ask the next question. "What does it mean? That you're my bond-mate?"

"It-" Cas hesitated.

Suddenly, Baby came up and rapped on the window. "You two make up already?" He peered into the car.

"Just get in and stop making this such a big deal, Baby." Dean rolled his eyes, but he felt a little hot in the cheeks . He wondered why Cas was hesitant to explai to him what being his Other meant.

Both doors opened and Sam and Baby slid into the car.

"Dean, just saying, so me and Sam were talking, and we'd really think it would be cool to be uncles...so..." Baby not-so-subtly indicated, turning on the car engine. Slaying those demons had seemed so long ago.

"We're not...they're staying." Dean answered quietly. He felt a pinch of anxiety in his stomach. It would be really difficult to raise them, to make sure they were good. He wasn't sure if he could do that.

"Good. I know _I'll_ love them." Baby replied, trying to support Castiel's argument. "Super Uncle League, right Sam?" He joked, pulling the car out of the lot. Sam rolled his eyes.

"We'll help out however we can, alright? You don't have to do this by yourself."

Dean ran a hand down his face. "I don't know what they are going to do, if they'll be hard to handle." He felt overwhelmed again.

"I will take Cas with me and try to heal him." Baby spoke up. "I'm going to find the nearest apartments and stay there. I'll give you the address once I've settled in. You two will be okay by yourselves?"

"We'd managed before." Dean shrugged. In reality, he'd love to try and get back into his normal life for a little while. He wanted to forget he was an angel, forget the hard times that lay ahead for him. Baby now turned to Sam.

"Sam, take care of him. There might still be quirks we haven't forseen. And if or when he remembers..."

He turned to Dean. "Let him take care of you, Dean." He commanded. "Sam knows much more than you do about this life." Baby seemed extremely serious again. Well, that was just him being protective again. He obviously wanted to make sure his boys would be okay on their own.

Baby winked. "Just watch each other's backs, alright? Not like you don't already. I'll come back with news as soon as I'm able." He grabbed Cas by the arm, and looked like he was going to disappear.

"Wait!" Dean felt the word jump from his throat as if it had a mind of its own. "Just...be careful, okay? Both of you."

Baby gave him a reassuring smile, but he almost looked...proud. Maybe he was proud that he had started to open up. Maybe it was that he'd done the right thing after storming off by coming back and attempting to figure it out. Maybe he was glad that he'd decided to give the unfortunate situation a chance. Or, maybe Dean only imagined it. That was probably the most likely. They both vanished, leaving behind just a small disturbance of the air.

"I'm driving, Sam." Dean demanded, going out from the back and sliding into the front seat. A long moment passed, in which Dean knew Sam wanted to say something, but it was taking him a little while to start.

"Dean..." Sam started lightly. Dean sighed loudly.

"You want to make fun of me, go ahead. What, all my kids are monsters like the Amazon? That I wanted to kill them, and now I changed my mind? What, Sam? This is the _hardest_ decision I've ever made. I don't know for sure if they'll be good...hell, I might be the worst dad in the universe. Castiel hid this from me, from all of us the whole time... He might die, and then what am I supposed to do? I can't do this by myself... how am I supposed to take care of kids when I still don't know what's happening with me?" The words seemed to just tumble from his mouth, he didn't know how to stop.

"My future self said I would love them. But what if that's a bad thing, like I wouldn't be able to stop them? To bring myself to kill them? What if they kill and hurt people? What if..." He felt his voice grow watery, and that's when he shut his mouth tight. Sam looked quizically at him.

"I just wanted to say I'm here for you. I know Cas is really sick and you might want to talk about that. Or the kids. Anything, really. I'm surprised you're this collected after all that."

"I'm not collected, Sam. Not at all." He sighed. "I need a hunt. Let's go help some people, I don't know. I have too much on my mind, Sam."

"Me too." Sam said, pressing his lips together. Dean didn't realize that Cas being sick had effected his brother that much too.

"Okay, well, there's half a year left before we have to worry about any of this, okay? Let's just get back to what we do best." Dean said, looking straight down the road. Sam nodded and looked out his window. They had work to do. And Dean wanted to do as much as he could before time ran out.


	8. Fear Flick

Dean hadn't really realized when he'd nodded off to sleep. He'd switched spots with Sam a while back, when the skies had darkened. It was almost like his cycle had been reset; this dream was short, with one detail as a focus, but everything was in sharp detail.

The room had been so blazing white it hurt his eyes as he looked down at white-tiled floor. His vision zoned in from blurry to clear as his eyes focused.

He saw his hands, grimy with dirt, and dark red scabs had dried in his nailbeds. One hand was skinned; there were multiple scabs on scabs, lines in different stages of healing, the skin was all variations between red and flesh colored. It was from the many, many times he'd stuck his hands through the bars to hold Sam's hand.

He was rattling his wrists against the iron cuffs as hard as he could, chaffing the skin from his wrists easily as skin and blood began to scrape onto the edges. He could sense someone was behind him, and he felt panic rise violently into his chest.

Another thing came into view: a sterile-looking steel table with various tools on it, gleaming evilly in the starchy bright light.

He heard an awful whirring, like the high-pitched,dried-out and squeaky buzz of a dentists' drill. He squeezed his eyes shut, screwing up his face as he stained against the iron cuffs in a vain attempt to escape.

He then felt a piercing pain screaming through his skull, it started to move in an arc as Dean felt warm blood slip down his grimy scalp and drip uncomfortably down the sides of his ears and down the nape of his neck. The thing was slicing his skull open in a circle like a power saw. He founded himself screaming as he tried to strain against his bonds, anything to get himself out of here.

Dean woke with a start when Sam knocked loudly on the glass his cheek was resting on.

"I see why Cas was always so impatient. Sleeping's pretty inefficient." Sam joked, as Dean rubbed his face. He looked out the window- the sky was still the pinkish-gray of dawn. He was grateful to have been woken up though- his dream had been strange and it made him nervous.

"Okay, what did you want to wake me up at too godamn early o' clock for?" He yawned and climbed from the car. Sam was muching on a breakfast sandwhich as he handed him a newpaper article he'd clipped from, taking another large bite out of the sandwhich.

"Screw you for that," Dean muttered under his breath, and Sam very unattractively smiled with a clear view of all the mashed up food in his mouth. Dean rolled his eyes and read the newspaper article quickly.

"So you thinking vengeful ghost?" He asked when he'd finished. It was an article about how apparently, at the prescreening of a movie at an old theater, the movie had been so scary that people had clawed their own cheeks and eyes out, some died of heart attacks or asthma attacks.

"I don't know. I read up a little on it and it said the theater burned down about a year ago, and one girl died. But nothing weird has happened there until now. Maybe it really was the movie." Sam explained.

"So, where is it?" Dean asked.

"At this place called Dryden Cinemas, it's about two hours away. We can start at the hospital with one of the victims." He motioned for Dean to get in the car first.

"Age before beauty," Sam said, smirking at him.

"Been getting way more beauty sleep than you!" Dean quipped back, getting into the car and slamming the door. He suddenly heard something very peculiar, rapid bursts of sound like when a radio transmission is interrupted by a text or phone call.

"...d.d.d...';an...er:_re_...d.d.d...nw?" Dean covered his ears with his hands, and was filled with relief when the strange noises finally stopped. Sam had climbed into the car and looked up at him with surprise.

"So you heard that?" He asked, instead of the 'what's wrong?' that Dean had been expecting. Dean brought his brows together. "You heard it too? What _is_ that?"

"That was me." Sam said, looking at him with observant eyes as if he were examining him. "I've been trying to get through to you since you first came back."

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked. Why had Sam sent such a strange message? He couldn't have learned Enochian already, could he?

"I've been trying to talk to you through our bond, but it didn't seem to be coming through. I've been testing it all along and never got a response..till now."

"But, why? Why couldn't I hear them before?" Dean asked, driving smoothly down the road.

"...c..c...',,rii...blw...d,:aa..." Dean had to restrain himself from ripping his hand from the wheel and covering his ears. "Stop it!" He burst out, peeved.

"Sorry. I wanted to see if it got a little better. Dean, I don't know exactly how they did it, but they somehow messed around with your brain, I think."

"They? You mean heaven?" He asked. "What did they do?" He thought back to what the demon had said again. That his brain was 'scrambled like eggs'.

"I don't know. I tried to have a look- everything just looked off. I think it's the connections; it's like you blew a fuze and now not everything is hooking up with what it's supposed to. But I think you're getting better, it's repaired enough for me to get _something_ through, right?"

"I...barely anything. I feel like I'm defective or something." Dean voiced his true opinion. He hated how he'd been treated when he first got back, and he could barely do anything still.

"I think you're learning. And your brain is probably healing at the same time, plugging things back in, taking time to heal up the frayed bits. Look." He stared at Dean, and he got another message in his head, the incoherent noises making him feel like he was going crazy.

"...d.d.d...de..." The noises trilled into his head, rapid bursts and choppy bits if the words, like someone had taken the sentence, diced it, and taken out the majority of the information.

"Sam, dammit! Just wait a little, that's freaking me out," He said, turning his attention back to the road. He was silent for a moment, debating whether or not he should tell Sam about the disturbing dream he'd had before he woke him up.

"I think they did do something to my brain." He voiced quietly after a moment. "My dream- I was strapped to a chair, and someone was..." He felt disgusted suddenly at having to say what he had seen aloud. He didn't like the idea of someone meddling around in his gray matter, disabling connections or poking around.

"Someone was doing some sort of surgery on me. They were cutting open my skull, in a circle, I was trying to escape but-" He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Someone had been in his brain, scrambling information, messing with the mechanics: he was met with a full body shudder. He felt violated and dirty, with that sour feeling in his stomach that came with the realization.

"That's after I left, Dean." Sam said, looking shocked. "What else?"

"Nothing else. It was short, that's all I saw." He shot it down, and clenched his jaw. "I don't really want to talk about any of this right now, okay? Just, tell me more about this case. Please. What about the fire?"

Sam looked a bit dejected that Dean had changed the subject so abruptly, like he didn't trust him or something, but he continued anyway.

"About a year ago, the theater caught on fire and the building was mostly burned down. The girl who died was a senior in high school out on a date with her boyfriend, who survived. They rebuilt the cinema after that, and it's mainly a local, family owned business." He said, used to firing off facts. "That was one year ago, so I don't know why she's suddenly decided to be vengeful, that, or it was a haunted movie."

"I guess we'll just have to find out from the victim. They're at the hospital, you said?" Dean asked, grateful to shift the topic off of him.

"Yeah. She blinded herself pretty early on, but she's the only one who is giving any interviews right now."

...

They'd passed through security easily enough, saying they just wanted to ask some questions, flashing badges.

They finally made it to the patient. She was resting in her hospital bed, and she looked on edge as she jumped with every noise and clatter around her. She had white gauze wrapped around her eyes, and an IV in her arm. She had scabby scratch marks down her cheeks, and she was fidgiting her fingers uneasily.

"Miss Christianson?" Sam asked in his best soothing sweet-guy voice. The young woman slightly jumped and turned to look at them, forgetting that she wouldn't be able to see any longer.

"Who are you?" She asked, clinging to her scratchy hospital blanket and drawing it toward her in fright.

"I'm FBI agent Mr. Connors and this is my partner, Mr. Sutton. We wanted to ask you a few questions about the other night?" Sam asked, pulling up a chair. She jumped at the noise it made dragging across the floor.

"I've aleady talked to the newspapers." She said irritably.

"Yeah, well, they're not the professionals, are they?" Dean asked, and Sam shot him the usual_ be nice _look.

"Can you please tell us what happened that night, starting from the beginning?" Sam asked softly. Obviously, he wanted to do the talking for this one.

The girl sighed and knit her hands together nervously. "Well...I heard about this new movie from my boyfriend Ron, and we wanted to go together and have a little scare. We love the Drydens and love supporting local businesses, so we decided to go." She took a deep, shaky breath.

"So, we piled in and the movie started. Next thing I know, I'm filled with the most fear I've ever felt in my life, and I can't see anything. I hear everyone screaming around me, I heard that Ron's having an asthma attack. Then, people start screaming there's a fire! So, I somehow made it to the exit, but by then I had no idea where Ron had went, and I couldn't see a thing." She was frowning deeply, clasping and unclasping her hands.

"Anything else unusual? Did you smell sulfur while you were watching the movie, or see anything...?" Sam asked, and the girl suddenly gripped her blankets with two angry fists.

"My boyfriend just died and all you care about is if the theater_ smelled like rotten eggs_? Is this some kind of sick joke? Give me your badges, I want to feel them!" She shrieked, furious. Sam didn't hestitate to give her his badge, which she ran her fingers over. She seemed to calm down a tiny bit.

"I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Until the movie started." She finally answered, stroking the badge as if it gave her reassurance.

"One last question. What was this movie about?" Dean piped up, a question she'd somehow failed to answer.

She screwed up her face, trying to recall. "I...I don't know. I can't remember." Sam shot him a look, lifting his eyebrows.

"Thank you so much for your cooperation, Miss Christianson." Sam finished, rising from his chair to leave. She looked more upset as they left.

"So, this is more of a movie issue then?" Dean asked, walking side by side with his brother down the hospital halls.

"I don't think so. She _did_ smell sulfur- but she only remembers that subconsciously." Sam replied, and Dean raised his eyebrows at him.

"You read her mind?"

"It's easy once you get the hang of it. It could really be useful for the liars we get sometimes." He smirked at Dean in a very little brother way.

"You're such a little shit," Dean rolled his eyes, hiding his smile. "What else makes you think ghost?"

"She did say people were screaming fire: but there wasn't anything mentioning it burning again. I'm thinking this ghost is terrorizing people, but we don't know who or why."

"Should we hit the theaters then?"

"No, not just that. I think we should see the movie."

...

They cruised up the the cinemas, and the Dryden Cinemas wasn't very hard to miss. It had a huge, angular old-style overhang with broadway lights, but the faces were all blank, they must have taken the movie titles down and closed the place after the incident had happened.

They pulled into a spot and Dean noticed that even though the doors were closed, someone was inside behind the snack counter. They swiftly got out and strode up side-by-side to the theater, and Dean rapped on the glass door loudly with his knuckles.

The girl wearing her work uniform, a red vest and black pants, whipped her head up, startled. Dean quickly pulled his fake FBI I.D. out of his pocket and pressed it to the glass, pointing to it and raising his eyebrows. Sam quickly took his out and pressed it to the window as well.

Flustered, the girl came up and quickly unlocked the doors, swinging them open for them.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't told anyone would be coming by," She said quietly, ushering them in. She looked extremely nervous, and her arms were trembling slightly.

"You alright, miss? You're shaking." Dean pointed out, giving her a suspicious glance. She looked up at him with wide, spooked eyes.

"Oh, sir, I- it's nothing like that. It's just, between the incident, all the investigations, newspapers coming by...no one's had time to clean the place. You know, of all the...blood..." Her face physically went paler as she said the word.

"I'm the youngest worker here, and I really don't want to lose this job. It's the only way I can fund for college. So, I have to do this if I want to keep my job," She said nervously. "Oh, please don't get my boss in trouble! He hasn't given me my paycheck yet, it's about six hundred dollars, and if he gets busted..."

"We'll keep that between you and us." Sam reassured her. She let out a relieved sigh. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you they made me do the same thing last time, clean the nasty stuff away."

Both Sam and Dean brought their eyebrows together. "Last time?" They asked in unison.

"Well...about two months ago, someone came in and committed suicide." She physically shuddered, squeezing her eyes shut. "I knew him, too. His name was Lance Tallbot. I think he was really shaken up over Carol's death here. He did it in the same theater." She shuddered again.

"Carol is the girl who died in the fire, right?" Sam asked, a satisfied look on his face as he was figuring it out.

"Yeah. He really liked her, it was almost too much. Like an obsession." She shrugged, clearly creeped out by this Lance kid.

"Was that Carol's boyfriend?" Dean asked, and the girl almost looked disgusted.

"Oh, god no. Her boyfriend's name is Jay. Lance was kind of like her stalker."

"Jay survived, didn't he?" Sam asked again. Maybe they could talk to someone who was closer with the actual people who might be the culprits.

The girl bit her lips and looked to the floor. "I don't know how he's doing. He was taken to the hospital for a heart attack, he was here that night." She said, and Dean could almost physically see the Sam's face illuminate with insight.

"Can we take a look at the crime scene?" Dean asked quickly, Sam clearly wanted to talk to him.

"...Caro..gho'','..scr;.:aun;" ..." Dean screwed up his face as unintelligible bursts of sound ran through his mind as Sam probably unconciously was trying to tell him what was going on.

She fished out some keys and placed them in Dean's outstretched hand. "It's still not clean.." She said timidly.

"I've seen worse in my day," Dean asnwered, lightly putting a hand on Sam's shoulder and leading him away.

Right when they were out of earshot, Sam fired of his sentence in a slight whisper.

"Carol must be the one haunting this place. She must have seen her boyfriend who left her to die and freaked out. Ghosts can manipulate emotions; she must have wanted to scare him to death, but got the rest of the audience also."

"But that woman at the hospital said she wasn't afraid until the movie started. I think it would be safe to ask the girl who works here to play the movie, just to cover all the bases." Dean said, he wasn't exactly set on the whole ghost idea.

Sam had whipped out his phone and was checking something. "I found it- her body is buried in the local cemetery- Carol Andrews. Up for some grave-digging?" He asked, an Dean let out a puff of air. "Sam, we need to clear the movie."

Sam looked like he was thinking for a second. "We can split up. I'll head down to the cemetary for a good old salt and burn, and you can stay here and watch the movie. If anything goes wrong, you just need to call and I'll be able to fly here in seconds. Sound good?"

"Great. I'll call if something's up."

Sam quickly disappeared with the light flapping of feathers. Dean shuddered slightly- it still freaked him out a little that he could do that.

He didn't even need to ask twice for the girl to screen the movie for him. Next thing he knew, he was sitting alone in a dark theater, which still smelled faintly like blood, the beginning of apparently a movie so scary it made people blind themselves starting. So, basically a normal day for Dean Winchester.

He watched for fifteen minutes and nothing much seemed to be happening. In fact, the movie was Grade A shit. Dean stood up, stretched his legs and went to try and investigate further, the dim light coming from the flickering screen.

Suddenly, his whole body felt like it had been doused in cold water as he hit a cold spot. He sure wished there were some lights on right about now.

"Who are you? Why are watching a _movie_ in the place that I died?" Dean heard a chillingly hollow voice behind him. He whipped around and saw a high school age girl in blackened clothing and burnt skin walking toward him.

Before he could answer, he saw another ghost appear. It was a scrawny and nerdy-looking kid with huge grandpa glasses and zitty cheeks, a bullethole and bloom of blood in his chest.

"Carol, want to tear this dumbass up with me?" He asked in a geeky voice. Dean had no doubt that this had to be Lance. _There's two hauntings_? He thought to himself. He quickly whipped out his phone and texted Sam.

"2 gho. Car & Lanc. S&B both." He quickly sent it, and whipped his head up to see what the teenage ghosts were doing next as he rapidly tried to look for the exit.

_"I hate you_!" Carol shrieked, and suddenly Dean felt a sharp lick of the very uncharacteristic feeling of complete fear. _"You set the fire that night!"_

She launched herself at the boy and Dean felt another huge surge of fear as their energies went flying.

"It was meant for Jay! I wanted you to myself! And now I have you!" Dean was almost repulsed himself. Carol screeched and began to try to rake her fingernails down his face in fury. The two ghosts continued to fiercely battle, and Dean was suddenly overcome with pure fear, feeling it deep within his soul and body.

A ghost with venegence against people could be one thing, but ghosts who wanted both people and another ghost to pay could be a problem. And obviously, these two specters hated each other. No wonder it had been such an issue-both ghosts wanted to kill each other, but both of them refused to die.

The fear they sent out into the atmosphere had Dean falling to his knees and curling up into a little ball, screaming. His heartbeat sped up and he could hear the blood pounding in his ears, throbbing in his temples. It took all the willpower he had to not claw his eyes out, but he did drag his fingernails down his cheeks as complete and total fear consumed him.

It wasn't only the pure emotion. Scenarios climbed into his mind, his worst fears. Sam getting murdered right in front of him, and not being able to do anything. Cas being killed by the kids, then having them turn around and become unstoppable monsters. Recollections of hell creeped into his mind like bile. He'd gotten his own device, and heaven was going to force him to kill and destroy everything he loved...

He wasn't sure how long this flesh-crawling fear lasted, but suddenly it was significantly less as he looked up and saw the creepy boy incinerate and fall into orange embers. _Thank you, Sam_.

Instead of looking relieved, the remaining ghost looked infuriated as the kid whose throat she was wringing suddenly disinigrated. "_I was supposed to be the one to kill him!_" She shrieked, having a full-blown venegence attack. Suddenly, the walls began to crack and crumble and spurts of fire began to ignite around her as she began to burn herself out of all her ghostly energy, hair whipping around her face and her eyes burning with revenge and hate.

She screamed and made a yanking motion, and Dean was barely able to see when she dissolved into embers. Suddenly, hundreds of thick chunks of concrete were falling all around him and on him, spilling and cascading out from the wall, the ghost's last act of revenge.

Dean felt horrible pain as limbs got crushed, pinning him down. He was forced to breathe in all the concrete dusk that had kicked into the air. He couldn't move as more blocks tumbled around him still, finally blacking out as a heavy chunk of concrete bashed his head in.

Dean barely registered anything as he felt like he was floating, somehow knowing that he was being dragged. His head swam as he felt unimaginable pain on his skull. He felt like maybe his head had been crushed. If he had been human, no doubt he would have been killed. He felt the world spinning as he struggled to open his eyes. He heard people talking, but he wasn't sure if it was just Sam desperately trying to get through to him through their bond, and having it finally work.

"Think he's far enough away?" He heard a pleasant sounding young voice, his voice was somewhat high in pitch but slightly rough, making it sound very boyish.

"I don't know. We don't have much time before he'll wake up." Dean heard a different voice this time. His was clearly young, but it was clear as a bell and rich. He'd be a good speech deliverer, Dean thought hazily to himself. Finally he somewhat came closer to his senses. Wait. Who were these two people? Were they rescuing him? Why?

He struggled but was able to open his eyes just a sliver. He was met with the image of a head of pitch-black hair, he didn't see their face as he looked down and dragged him backward.

"Cas...?" Dean asked woozily, only realizing after he'd uttered it that it was completely inpossible. Plus, in no way did either of the voices sound like the angel he knew so well.

The dark-haired kid was dragging him by his shirt a bit farther away from the blazing fire, as the other kid, who Dean couldn't see, was clearing the rubble off of him.

"RJ! He's awake!" Dean heard that boyish voice call out in an alarmed tone, the kid he couldn't see. The dark-haired teen immediately brought his hands to his face, trying to conceal his identity, dropping Dean a few inches with a thunk. The wind was knocked out of him and Dean wheezed to breathe.

"Oh, shit!" The teen hissed, turning and trying to make sure Dean didn't see him. Dean felt black stars swirl and pop into his vision.

"He's not safe yet!" The other, boyish voice insisted. Dean closed his eyes and felt the heat from the flames pinch his cheeks. His head swam.

"Dammit, leave him!" The other teenager demanded, and Dean tried to stay conscious as the two turned quickly and began to sprint away, he could only see their backs as their legs pumped quickly and each footfall clacked on the concrete floors. They were pretty damn speedy, like they were used to running like this.

Dean felt a wave of goosebumps rush down his body as he saw that these two boys, both tall, lean teenagers, one with pitch black hair and the other with fair, golden-blonde hair, were heading the absolute wrong direction.

"Stop! Wrong way!" Dean called out hoarsely, but it was much too quiet to reach them. He watched in horror as the two sprinted directly into the orange wall of flames, not even faltering in their long-gaited sprint as the fire swallowed them both. Dean felt his head spinning, and suddenly someone was helping him up.

"Sam! Sam, you have to help them!" Dean insisted, almost feeling delirious as Sam pulled him to stand upright.

"Help who, Dean? What are you talking about?" Sam demanded, surprised by his brother's urgent tone.

" Those kids! There were two kids, they just dragged me out! Then they ran- they ran straight into that fire!" He insisted, grabbing at Sam's shirt that was grimy with graveyard soil. Sam seemed to be concentrating hard, thinking deeply as he narrowed his eyes.

"No one is here except us, Dean. And beyond that fire is only another concrete wall, there's nowhere they could have gone."

Dean shook his head, his skull throbbed. "No, they were here! I swear! They dragged me out, they saved me! You _have_ to help them!"

Sam knit his eyebrows together and brought his hand up to Dean's skull, and he clearly felt the gigantic dent in it. He shot off a blast of healing energy, and it started to repair itself, along with the other crushed parts of his body.

Dean suddenly found himself in the passenger's seat of their car. Sirens were wailing as the fire engine was rushing to the rescue, and billows of dark smoke were climbing into the darkening sky.

Sam quickly turned on the car and pulled out of their spot, speeding down the road. Hell no, they would not be caught and tried for arson and impersonating FBI agents.

"Sam, go back! We have to help those kids!" Dean insisted. He tried to remember what they looked like, but his head had been damaged. He remembered their heads of black and blonde hair. Wait-one of them said a nickname. AJ? Something like that. He wanted to know who they were, he needed to thank them.

Sam's face fell into one of concern. "Maybe we shouldn't have you hunting so soon after all that. You _did_ just find out you're part angel and going to be a dad in the same week." Sam said sympathetically, Dean hated that he was looking at him like he'd lost his mind.

"Fine, Sam! Don't believe me? Read my damn mind, then! Tell me what I saw wasn't real!" He stared down Sam, waiting him for tell him he was right. Sam paused for a second.

"Maybe there were kids that helped you. Still, they got out of there fine. I scanned it, Dean. No one was there," He reassured him. He quickly changed the subject. "We both need a shower. Let's rent a motel tonight, okay? You can sleep in a real bed for once." Sam offered, shoving him his cell phone to look up the closest and cheapest motels.

"Fine." Dean replied moodily, typing in the search into the phone and seeing a few pins drop in possible places to stay. At least Sam admitted he wasn't going crazy. There was a pause as Dean plugged in directions on how to get there.

"Dean, you've got a lot on your mind. Just try to relax for a little, just for tonight." Sam tried to calm him down. Dean could tell he knew how nervous and anxious he was about the events lately that had flipped his world upside down. He only shoved the phone back at Sam with the directions. Yeah, he'd told him he could talk to him about anything, but since when had Dean really done that?

He was worried sick about Cas, and the kids, especially since he couldn't keep an eye on them anymore. Castiel could be puking his guts out right now and he'd never know. He was scared at how these kids were killing him, consuming anything he had. He was scared that he'd lose both of them if Castiel ran out of energy. Or it would be even worse if only the boys survived- he could never love the things that killed his best friend.

"You okay?" Sam asked him after a long silence, Dean had been thinking and not talking at all. He nodded, watching the street lamps as they passed by quickly. "Fine," he replied, clearly expressing that he didn't want to talk.

They finally reached the motel, and Sam let Dean shower first, seeing that he'd want to drop off to bed as soon as he could. Dean tried to let the water wash away his toxic worries as he let the warm water slip over his scalp and down his body. It warmed him up and cleaned him, but that was about it. He didn't really feel mentally better whatsoever.

He scrubbed his face dry, sighing loudly into the towel. He tried to shave the scruff from his face really quickly, not caring if he was still a little stubbly. He checked to make sure the sigil was still on his iris- sure enough, it was still there. He stumbled into boxers and collapsed onto the bed, groaning as it had been the first bed he'd touched in a little under a year.

He was exhausted, and too tired to worry about the special surprise waiting for him on the other side this time. His mind drifted as he nodded off to sleep: he thought about those kids again. How did they know where he was? How did they get there in time? Why had they saved him anyways?

_AJ, KJ, JJ? _He struggled to remember the nickname one had called the other. He needed to remember just that one bit of information, and maybe he'd be able to piece together the picture.

Suddenly, the information fell into his mind. RJ. It was RJ, he remembered. Ar-jay, he tried to sound it out. That had to be it. He felt his mind getting hazier as his goal had been accomplished. He would find them, and he would thank them.

_Cas, hold on, buddy_. He felt himself silently praying as he dropped to sleep._ You'll be okay. Take good care of Leoniel and Robert John for me._

* * *

_Please review! I love suggestions: they get my mind rolling and building up amazing ideas! Thanks the Firesinger for the suggestion of them continuing their hunting job as part-angels, got my new ideas to pop into my head! I love any questions, guesses, and even criticism :)_


	9. Seraphim & Sphinxes

Dean was met with the sounds of the ocean. When he opened his eyes, he found it very peculiar that he was just dreaming a normal dream. They were at the beach somewhere on the East Coast, when their dad had taken them once, before Sam was born, when he was around four years old. He watched as his dad and mom waded into the water, his dad stole his mom's sunhat, and she splashed him with some water.

Dean relaxed as he breathed in the scent of the briny sea mist and the dry sand and heard the windblown grass shush against each other. He'd missed the ocean. Maybe they'd go to the coasts and look for jobs there, it had been too long.

He tried to enjoy his peaceful dream while it lasted, but as he looked around he noticed two people standing ominously down the beach a few paces away. He couldn't quite see their faces, but he saw a tall figure in all black, who had his arm wrapped around someone else in a business suit. He strained his eyes to see, walking toward the two unmoving people. Finally, he understood.

"Thanks for interrupting my one normal dream," Dean grumbled as he approached Baby and Cas, loving the feeling of the uneven ground as his feet sunk into the sand.

"Oh, suck it up, bitchtits." Baby said, grinning at him. "I'm here because I needed to tell you something important." He held onto Castiel tightly by the shoulders as he slumped and blinked wearily.

"Hey, Cas." Dean said quietly. Castiel looked up briefly with worn-out eyes, blinking heavily.

"He wanted to make sure you were alright." Baby said, squeezing Cas's shoulder reassuringly. Dean almost scoffed. Wasn't it the other way around? What danger was he in here on earth, void of anything that was energy-sucking?

"I'm fine, Cas." Dean voiced, but he had no reply as the dark-haired man looked reasurred but also like he was nodding off to sleep.

"Hey, you know I'm not mad at you, right?" Dean said gently.

Cas nodded, and Dean came forward and took his hand. "Good. I'm happy you know that."

Dean hesistated for a second, but then came forward and gave him a little kiss on the lips. He figured it was time to try and make an effort with him. He was surprised at how natural it felt. He then vanished, and Baby put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"He's doing okay, heaven is a much easier place for him to retain his energy, so you might not see him for a spell." Baby said, asserting Dean's unasked but obvious question. "But he's running out of energy. I wish I could go and get more for him, but I'm damn busy right now."

"So what do you want me to do?" He asked, eager to help in any way he could. Cas had seemed exhausted in the least.

"Here. In this tomb, you will find a vase that contains the harvested energy of angels killed by the Egyptians." He pulled out a map from his pocket and put it in Dean's outstretched hand, and he looked at it in curiosity.

"_Egypt_?" He asked almost in disbelief. He looked at the sharpied in X: it was in the middle of the desert.

"Yes, Egypt, dummy. What did I just tell you?" Baby lifted his eyebrow and smiled a little. "But I suggest you take an airplane. Even Sam's not old or experienced enough to fly that great of a distance."

Dean paused, looking at the map. "How much time do we have?" He asked quietly, almost nervously.

"If you get this, he should be okay to sustain them until it's time for him to give birth." Baby answered, looking concerned again. "I thought we wouldn't need to do this. I've underestimated how much they really need."

Dean glanced back down at the map; would he have it when he woke up still? Or did he have to memorize it right now?

"Is there anything else I can do for him?" He asked, avoiding Baby's glance. He didn't want him to see how worried he really was, even though he probably already knew. Dean found there wasn't much he could hide from his friend. When he did look up, Baby looked torn as to if he should say something.

"Oh, C'mon Bay. If there's anything I can do...please. I need to try. Cas has been bearing the blunt of this whole damn thing, and I don't want to see- I want to help him, okay?" Baby bit his lip and looked off to the side, contemplating for a tiny bit longer before he spoke up.

"These angels consist of the grace, or kind of like souls, of both of you. So they could hypothetically exist in either of the souls they derive from."

Dean's face lit up. "Okay, great. Why don't I just do that right now?"

Baby looked worried, or almost afraid. Like he'd just realized that obviously Dean would volunteer himself. "Not so fast, Deano. Dammit, I shouldn't have told you that. We don't know what can happen: you're still a small part human, and such a young angel...there's no way that you can compare to Castiel's capacity. I am not going to let you try that."

Dean looked frustrated, but he let it go almost _too_ quickly. Baby seemed a bit suspicious. "I'll get this for you as soon as I can." He said, tucking the map into one of his jacket pockets. "Keep an eye out for Cas, alright?"

"Dur." Baby replied, grinning at Dean. "Watch out for yourself and Sam. I mean it. With me and Cas both gone, you two are on your own for real this time."

That reminded Dean. Had Baby been the one to send him help back at the movie theater? Maybe he'd sent a few of his angel friends to help him.

"Wait, were you the person who sent me help a few days ago? Do you know an angel with the nickname RJ? There were two of them-" He barely caught Baby's confused glance when he woke up, Sam had hit him with a pillow.

"Dammit!" Dean muttered under his breath. He'd have to ask Baby later, when he came to pick up the old, bottled-up energy.

"I think I found us another job." Sam said, sipping on a cup of piping hot coffee. Dean smelled the rich aroma and his mouth watered. "Sam, put that crap away before I throw it away."

He suddenly felt something sharp poking at his chest. Confused for a second, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the map. "That will just have to wait. I have another job: this one's for Cas."

Sam swiftly took the map and peered at it with curious eyes.

_Egypt_? He said, unfolding the map to see more of the area that surrounded the X.

"Dude, I know! And he said we had to take a plane. I better have been cured after all this angel crap." Dean somewhat joked, but he actually did hope that his fear of flying would have disappeared. He dreaded this trip, but they needed to make it to ensure Cas's health.

"Dean," Sam said, grinning widely at him.

"What?" Dean asked, lifting an eyebrow. Why did he have that goofy grin on his face?

"I didn't say anything just then." _Dean, can you hear me now_?

He gripped his head at the strange thought that wasn't his own that popped into his head. "Yeah, but god, please don't do that so much. It freaks me out."

_Okay_. Sam shot off another thought. Dean rolled his eyes and asked for the map back, looking at it one more time. The X looked so small in the expanse of blank yellow, and it was scrawled quickly as if it were mocking them, as if were saying "this should be easy enough."

...

It was definitely true that it was easier said than done. Sam had to tote Dean to the closest spot they could get to in America, New York. They then were able to sneak onto a partially-full flight to Giza in the very last second.

Much to his dismay, Dean once again felt that unpleasent tightness in his gut as they walked down the accordian-like walls toward the plane. He rounded the corner and saw the metal rounded head of the plane and faltered just a tiny bit in his large gait.

"Oh, fuck me!" he exclaimed, frustrated, under his breath as he looked at the thickly cut out square, he imagined it as a metal mouth just waiting to swallow him whole.

"Why the sudden interest in joining the mile high club?" Sam snickered.

"Shut the hell up, Sam!" He snapped in reply, really not in the mood to poke fun at each other as his knees started to quake. He really did not want to do this. Ten damn hours on this tin cyllinder in the sky, breathing in regurgitated air, nothing below you but miles and miles of empty sky...

He stepped into the plane and took a deep, shaky breath. Sam followed as he made his way down the narrow isles, feeling his face tighten and drain of blood as he passed each indifferent face. He could already smell the recycled air and feel the static electricity.

They finally sat down, and Dean never seemed to untense his muscles as he sat down ridgidly, gripping onto the armrests like a roller coaster was about to start at any second.

_You think you'll be okay_? Sam asked, noticing his white-knuckled grip on the armrests.

"I'm fine, okay? Quit bugging me." He snapped in response, which got a few judgemental looks from the people around him. He'd almost not even realized he'd spoken through their bond again.

Dean had already broken out with a sheen of sweat on his forehead when the plane began takeoff. He felt bad that he couldn't yet see this as being worth it, he could only visualize the next ten hours with vivid detail and couldn't bring himself to think very far beyond that.

About an hour in, a flight attendent tapped Dean's shoulder lightly. He had been resting with his eyes closed but being careful not to nod off to sleep, who knew what earth-cracking lashing out would do here in an airplane.

"Christo!" Dean yelled as he jumped in his skin, looking up at the confused woman's face. He couldn't shake the memories of hunting that demon last time they'd been on a plane.

"Uh, we're Italian." Sam tried to say quickly. Dean didn't even try to say anything else on the subject. He felt mentally exhausted, and there was still nine hours to go.

"I was just going to say you look like a little bit if a nervous flyer. Care for a drink?" She asked, getting ready to pull something from her trolley.

_No_. Sam warned him, lifting an eyebrow at him. "Yes, please!" He said, almost too enthusiastically just to counter Sam. She quickly fixed him what he asked for, a cranberry juice with vodka, and patted a brown paper bag onto his lap. "Just in case, sir." Sam looked unamused.

"Bottoms up, Sammy!" He stretched his mouth into a sickly grin and tipped the drink back in one take.

He spent the next three hours with his head down a brown bag.

"You're a dumbass." Sam said, but his voice came through a bit sympathetic after it had dragged on for a little too long to crack jokes.

_You're a wiseass_, Dean countered bitterly as he felt another wretch coming on.

Another four hours past, and Dean looked like a wreck. His face was pale and shone with a thin layer of cold sweat, and his hands were shaking ever so slightly as he never let go of his armrests. _You're doing this for him. For them. _He had to remind himself.

"I swear to god, Baby better zap us on back because I am _never_ doing this again. Understand?" He grumbled, wiping his forehead with an even clammier hand. Sam patted his white-knuckled hand, and Dean groaned as his head swam once again.

When the plane finally landed, Dean rushed from his seat and tore down the isle, not caring if he barged past a little kid or two. He was the first one off the plane, and he practically fell to his knees and began to kiss the floor on the walkway. He collapsed in a heap near the entrance, finally breathing in cleaner air as he just curled there in a lump as many people gave him strange looks as they navigated their bulky bags past him and parents led their kids away from the strange man.

_You look like a dumbass there on the ground. _Sam told him, and Dean lifted an eyelid to look at him, as Sam grinned and shook his head. He offered him a hand and Dean took it, he pulled him upright. Dean took in another deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. He pointed angrily at the rectangular hole leading into the plane. "I am not going in another one of those if it kills me. Hell, that almost did kill me."

Sam extended his hand to ask for the map again, which Dean pulled out and quickly gave to him as they walked off the platform. He unfolded it in its entirety, and the quickly scrawled X seemed to be smack dab in the middle of nowhere.

"It must have not been discovered yet or something," Sam voiced, turning the map and trying to get a better bearing as to where this thing was going to be. "I could probably get us there. Ready to fly again?"

"Shut the hell up!" Dean snapped back, feeling a flush of embarrassment at how pitiful he'd been inside the airplane. He made a promise to himself right now, he was _never _going to put himself through that again.

Sam gripped onto his arm and they both disappeared with a quiet whoosh and a slight breeze of air. The few people exiting the platform who had seen them rubbed their eyes and looked up with shocked faces.

* * *

Baby watched as Dean disappeared and his dream quickly faded away, leaving him standing back in heaven, next to the tired Castiel who was curled up on a thin white bed.

He gently came up and rubbed his shoulder. He helped prop him up and he brought out his silver flask with the cross on it, slowly tipping it back for some holy water to pour into his mouth. Cas drank it down gratefully; it didn't help with his energy, but it did give him a fuzzy, happy feeling, like a gulp of an amazing flavor of tea with just the right amount of sugar and the perfect temperature.

"Didn't stay for the whole thing, hm?" He asked kindly to the exhausted face with his eyes closed, gently laying him down again.

_No_. He weakly sent the thought out to him, breathing in shallowly._ I'm just so tired, Soloviel. I don't know how much longer I can do this_.

"Dean's getting you help right now, Cas." He tried to reassure him, but he knew that wasn't all he was talking about.

_I'm tired of trying so hard to do the right thing._

_"_But you always do, Cas. You always do the right thing." Castiel didn't answer as he sighed and curled into his chest. Baby was able to see right through the flesh and bone of the vessel he wore and he saw his grace, a swirling white, nebulous mass underneath, two small orbs of grace, looking like little stars, embedded just underneath his collarbone and over his heart.

_I don't know if I should have kept them. They are engineered to be weapons...Naomi said that if I ran away..._

"What if you ran away?" Baby asked quickly. He'd never brought this up before.

_She told me... If I ran away, if I tried to do this on my own, without their facilities...she said one of us would die._

"It was only a threat." Baby jumped to say. Dean, Sam and him were doing everything they could to keep him healthy, and they had to succeed, there wasn't another option.

_They're perfectly fine. But Sol, have you seen me lately? It isn't hard to see which 'one' it will be._

Baby felt a bought of anger rise up from his chest. He shook his older brother's shoulder, and he finally slowly lifted his eyelids, staring at him with those burning blue eyes.

"You're not going to die. I can fix it, I can fix everything!" He insisted, as if he were convincing himself.

_Not always, you can't._

Baby grabbed his hair angrily and ripped his hands away, grimacing as he clenched his hands into angry fists. "There's always something. _Always_. I can save you, Cas." He felt frustrated tears rush into his eyes. "I _can_."

There was no reply as Castiel simply curled in closer to himself, wrapping lovingly around the very things that were killing him.

Baby was suddenly struck with insight. "I have a plan. I need you to be strong, just for a little longer. Can you do that?"

"Yes," he croaked, speaking up for the first time.

"You're going to be okay. I promise." Baby insisted, sitting on the bedside and smoothing down his black hair gently with his palm. He had a plan.

* * *

Dean saw a wall of sand jump up in front of him as he threw his hands up, and he tumbled a few feet along the dune before finally rolling to a stop, digging his arms into the soft and scorchingly hot sand.

He spat the dry sand from his mouth and looked up to see Sam standing up and brushing the sand off of himself too. Dean looked around and saw nothing but yellow sand for miles all around. Heat waves played off the sand, sending the sand dancing and mirages of pools of water played across the sand. It was eerily silent, and the heat was stifling.

"Where are we?" Dean asked, trying to dislodge some of the irritating sand that had somehow collected in his ear canals.

"I swear we're in the right place." Sam assured, embarrassed. "I don't know, maybe it's buried underneath all of this." Dean felt a hot bead of sweat already roll down the nape of his neck. "Well, how are we supposed to move it?"

"I don't know. It only works when you're upset, and I...I don't have that great of a grasp on it either." Sam admitted.

"So what? You're depending on me getting upset on command?" Dean said. It was almost bitterly laughable. They couldn't do this one stupid, simple task.

"I can try.." Sam got a great look of concentration on his face, and a hot wind began to circle around them, but all it was able to do was lilt their hair and clothing and move a few grains of sand.

"How do you do it?" Dean asked, eager to try anything. Damn, it was hot. And he was starting to feel the heat seep through the soles of his shoes, stinging his feet like acid.

"It's like a muscle. I don't really know. Just, think upsetting thoughts or something." Sam said, being extremely unhelpful.

Dean closed his eyes and felt a small, arid wind begin to spin around them again. He tried to concentrate on this muscle-like sensation, but his mind returned to Cas. He needed him to do this. And he'd gone on that god-awful airplane trip for him. That damn flight. Never again.

He felt a surge of frustration at what he'd just endured and almost by accident found the emotion pushing right along with what he was already doing.

_Keep going_! Sam egged him on in his head, and Dean tried to collect that emotion as he pushed, hard. He opened up his eyes to see a bulk of sand slide in a wave-like motion, he saw the tiniest of a peep of something man-made, a pointy corner of a sand-colored building. Sam rushed over and began to uncover the object, it looked like the corner to a door. Dean rushed over too, and as they began to uncover it, they realized that this was one _tall_ door.

Ten feet and two very hot and sweaty brothers later, they had unearthed most of the door. Sam placed his hand on the sandy stone, gritted his teeth and pushed hard with his palm.

There was a loud, rocky crack as shards of the door fell into the black waiting inside, and stuffy, cold air trickled out. It was pretty damn creepy. He bust in a bit more roughly with his elbow, the stone clacking together as it fell inside.

Sam panted and squinted to look inside the pitch black crevice. "Age before beauty?" He asked meekly.

"You suck." Dean grumbled, and snatched the flashlight that Sam had pulled from his pocket and was holding out to him. He squeezed through the small opening and clicked on the flashlight, sweeping it to see what they'd find. He didn't see anything but walls patterned with ornate egyptian carvings, as floating bits of dust from the disturbed doorway danced in the beam of light.

He hopped down the few feet they'd failed to dig up, sending a small waterfall of sand into the tomb, which fell with a shush to the ground. "C'mon in, Sam. Water's fine." He called up to the crack that was pouring light into the cold, dark room. Sam squeezed in and dropped to the floor. They were both silent as Dean pointed the beam into the depths of the tomb, and they saw nothing but black.

It was unbelievably cold in the tomb, and they shivered as their sweat began to feel like ice water. The hot desert wind eerily whistled across the cracked stone door, and they could only see a sliver of the yellow dunes and white-blue sky.

"Well, now or never." Dean said, shivering as the sweat plastering his shirt to his back had grown ice-cold. The two began to trek down the dark hallway, passing along carvings that probably told the tale of the pharaoh's life, along with mysterious symbols. Their footfalls clacked loudly as they breathed in the stale, cold air. They stopped when they came to an option of right, left, or straight.

"Left." Sam said after a second, confidently.

"Are you doing that...scanning thing or whatever you said before?" Dean asked, pointing the beam down the left hall. He couldn't wait to get out of here; this place was giving him the creeps.

"Yeah. I can see the tomb: it isn't too far. The Egyptians made many different trails in order to distract grave robbers, which would lead to false tombs and dead ends. Guess they weren't expecting angels though, huh?"

They went farther into the tomb, and Dean felt his skin crawl at the damp, cold air. He wanted to nab the vase and leave as soon as possible. They came to another divide.

"Straight." Sam said, and Dean and him both began to pick up the pace. They came to another door, it had the symbol of a lotus on it. Sam pressed both palms to it and gritted his teeth, and cracks radiated out from his hands, getting deeper as he pushed his hands in and the rocks crumbled to form as small hole. They both worked to push the rubble away, and they finally cleared enough away to fit through.

Dean shone the flashlight inside and saw a flash of gold. Sam said nothing this time as he pushed inside and Dean did the same, feeling a bought of claustrophobia at the small hole.

"I think I found it!" Sam said, and he held up the smallest, plainest looking vase there, which was made of just a plain red clay. Dean swept his beam across the room, and statues and vases and furniture all sparkled gold back at him from the dark.

"Sure we can't just take one more thing? We need some cash on our hands, Sam, especially with Leoniel and Robbie on the way." He said sadly, trying to look for something small but valuable that they could carry.

"You named them already?" Sam asked, and Dean whipped his head up to see his expression. He was smiling kind of dopily. "What?" Dean asked defensively, feeling his cheeks get a little warm.

"It's just...that's really sweet."

Dean felt his cheeks get hotter as well as the tips of his ears. "It's not that big of a deal." He blew it off, embarrassed. "You know what, let's get out of here. I don't like this place, and it's not like we need another curse on our hands."

They went back to the small hole and Sam crawled out first, and he outstretched his hands for Dean to hand him the vase, careful not to break the precious cargo. Dean passed it through and they began to quickly make their way back out to the entrance.

Suddenly, Sam stopped right in his tracks, his face fell and blood instantly drained from his cheeks.

"Dean," He said in a chillingly cold voice. "We're not alone in here."

* * *

Castiel had to gather up all of his energy just to fly back to that awful room he'd been to hundreds of times before. He tumbled into the room, curling up in pain on the floor. He felt the tiny stars suddenly pull a great amount of energy out, and Castiel shuddered. Why were they so hungry all the time?

"Well, well. Look who came crawling back on his hands and knees to beg to take him back." He heard the horribly snide and familiar voice sneer at him. He struggled to stand up, using the pure white desk to pull himself up.

"You really kept them? After all that? You've probably been going through some serious withdrawal without our special treatments?" Her voice was rottenly sweet.

"I want you to help them. To help me." He begged, feeling a bead of sweat roll down his face at all the energy he was exerting that he couldn't afford to lose.

"Oh, Castiel. Of course I will. You just need to do one, easy, silly little thing first." She said, drumming her fingers along the white tabletop. "I'll make sure those little monsters get nice and healthy. And you'll get better too. Aren't you tired of being so weak?" She asked, trying to speak kindly, but her voice still sounded like sugar-coated razor blades.

"All you have to do is take this tiny little pill, and I can solve all of your problems." She said gently, extending her hand and blooming out her delicately manicured fingers to reveal a pretty pearl-like pill resting in the middle of her palm.

Castiel extended a shaking hand, two fingers ready to pluck the tiny pill from her hand.

_Cas! This isn't part of the plan! _Baby screamed into his head. Castiel's pointer finger and thumb wandered closer to the pill, trembling.

_I need to save them, Sol. _He whispered back, finally pinching the pill between his fingers.

_You take that, and you'll be controlled forever. They're not going to help you, Cas! Destroy the sigil, let me take her! _Baby insisted, urgency streaming through his voice. Cas paused, his hand halfway between the palm and his mouth. It wouldn't be too bad, right? As long as they took care of the children?_ No. _Castiel thought, crushing the pill in between his fingers in disgust. They could do it by themselves. His friends loved him, they would take care of him. He couldn't believe he'd almost fallen for it; he never wanted to be controlled ever again.

He used his last bit of energy to rip out the wall that contained her protective sigil. Her face fell, and suddenly Baby had her in a chokehold.

"S'matter? Didn't expect to see me so soon?" Baby mocked, cold fire burning in his steely blue eyes.

"Soloviel. Or, should I just call you the disgrace to the entire guardian angel race?" Baby jerked to tighten his hold on her, roughly pushing her past her desk as she struggled with his arm.

"This bitchfaced little whore is going to answer a few questions, isn't she?" Baby seethed, jerking her to walk forward. He passed Cas, who had collapsed to the floor. "I'm going to put this _little flower_ on ice, and I'll be back for you, Cas. They'll have it soon," he assured him, disappearing quickly with a swoosh.

Castiel curled up, coughing. That had taken too much energy from his already scarce supply. He coughed deeply again, he brought his hand shakily to his face, his eyes widening as he spotted the shining, scarlet splotches. _Hurry_, he thought to himself, curling up in a ball on the floor again.

* * *

Dean felt his stomach drop as he heard Sam utter those words. But how the hell could someone else be in there with them? They'd been inside for less than fifteen minutes!

Suddenly, his flashlight flickered and began to die. He thought he saw a glimpse of a pale face from down the hallway before everything went pitch black. He heard drumming on the floor, which sounded extremely inhuman, almost like an animal's sprint.

Then, all hell broke loose; Dean heard slams and rocks cracking as he felt disturbances in the air. Something was out there, and it was attacking Sam. He felt his heart race, and suddenly something smooth and heavy had dropped into his palm. His blade. E hesitated to use it; he saw nothing, and didn't want to hurt Sam.

"Dean!" He heard Sam strain to say, his wind had been knocked out. He heard a grinding as a door was being rolled closed. Sam panicked and tried to quickly fly out of there, but he was yanked uncomfortably. He remembered what Baby had said before- that they'd had extensive knowledge on angels back then. He felt blindly with his palm, and he felt a carved sigil. Great. This must have been the room they trapped angels in to extract their energy. And now, he knew what the thing that had shoved him in there was. And hell, were they in a jam.

"Sam!" Dean called out, whacking the flashlight desperately on his palm. It finally flared to life, and Dean felt himself almost jump from his skin. The flashlight illuminated the lithe, muscular and bulky golden body of a lion, with glistening earthy-brown wings sprouting from its back. The creature easily pounced and pinned Dean to the wall with its massive paws. Dean was surprised to see its face: it had the face of a beautiful woman, with tan, delicate skin, dark silky hair, and heavily eyeliner around her golden eyes.

"You should thank the gods you only took what you really needed from this tomb, or else I'd skin you and your kin alive on the spot," She growled, and her sharp claws retracted from her heavy paws, positioned on Dean's shoulders.

"My first grave robbers. I'm flattered." She licked her lips, and Dean saw that her mouth was like a lion's with sharp, white teeth. "Oh, yes, I have worked up an appetite."

Dean quickly tried to stab the sphinx with his blade, but the creature easily pawed it away.

"Ah, ah, ah. The only way you and your brother are getting out of here is if you solve my riddle. You succeed, I let you go, and then I'll make sure no one finds my tomb again. You lose, I get a full stomach and still get to protect my pharaoh. Do you accept?" She teased, playing a claw across Dean's face.

_Do it_. He heard Sam's voice ring loud and clear in his head. With Sam's help, they could get out with the energy in one peace. "Yes," Dean said, cringing away from the massive lion's paw. She grinned with a twisted smile.

"Imagine you've been walking in the desert for two days, and haven't come across water at all." She started, and suddenly he found himself in the middle of yellow sandy hills and dunes. He breathed in sharply, his throat felt like sandpaper. He needed water, right now. The sun beat on his back as he kept stumbling forward, following the footprints of the people who had come before him.

"You find a small trail and solid ground. You follow it, and on the brink of death, you find an old water pump."

Dean ran forward and collapsed onto the pump, hacking as his throat felt like sand. He needed water, he felt like he was about to faint.

"There's a small jar of water there, sealed with wax to keep the moisture in."

_Sam, do you get any of this? _Dean called out in desperation.

_The riddle's not over yet._

He was ready to rip open the seal and chug the water down when he read the note carved into the glass.

'Friend, do not drink this water. Instead, pour it down the pump to prime it. Then, you may take all the water you desire. Before you leave, make sure to fill this up again and seal it for the next traveller.' Dean lifted an eyebrow, contemplating downing the water still. The pump looked old and dry as a bone; there was no way it could actually work, right? But if he drank the water, that small mouthful would be all he got, and the desert didn't look like it was ending anytime soon. But if he poured it down the old, dilapidated pump and it didn't work, surely he'd die.

"Now, angel, what do you do?" The sphinx purred, loving every moment as Dean struggled to solve the riddle.

_Sam... _He called out desperately_._

_I'm thinking! _He shot back in reply, as he held his head and tried to piece together the clues.

Dean hacked again, and his lungs wheezed in the dry air. His throat felt like it had begun to crack from the dryness.

Sam racked his brain to try and find the solution. There was an equal chance for the pump to work or not, there was no way of knowing, like Schrodinger's cat. Or could he tell? He gasped as the pieces fell together. The footprints. The full jar.

_Pour it down, Dean. _Sam told him confidently.

_Why_? Dean shot back. Sam wasn't the one dying of thirst, he wasn't feeling so desperate for water._Look at this thing, Sam_! It was true that the pump didn't look so trustworthy.

_Just do it_! Sam demanded, and Dean had to trust him. He ripped off the wax seal and poured his precious water down the rusted pump, watching it fall away into darkness, feeling despair deep in his chest. What if this was the wrong answer? He pumped vigorously, and nothing seemed to happen. This was it, they were both going to die.

Then, each pump began to get heavier. He heard the burbling of water, and suddenly clear, cold water was flowing from the pump. Dean let out a sigh of relief and pushed his head into the stream, gulping up the water ravenously.

Suddenly he found himself back in the tomb, the sphinx staring at him with a furious expression. "Why?" It insisted, growling. Sam began to explain in his head, and Dean began to speak his words as the sphinx began to back away.

"Others had passed this way before, so I know I'm not the first to use the pump. Then, if the jar was empty, the person before me must have drunk it, or the priming didn't work. But it wasn't empty, so the only conclusion is that the pump must have worked for them, so it will work for me." Dean finished. He knew he'd always teased Sam for being a nerd in the past, but he couldn't love his brains more than he did right now.

With an angry roar, the sphinx shoved Dean away and broke the door containing Sam. The tomb began to rumble, and Sam quickly squeezed out of the angelic trap.

"Let's get out of here!" Sam cried out as sand began to fill the chamber. Dean grabbed onto his arm and they were hurtling through space, landing in the middle of a busy marketplace. A car honked at them as they appeared in the middle of a small street.

Dean coughed and rubbed the sand from his face. "You have the vase?" He asked, just in case. "Right here," Sam said, rubbing the red clay and smiling, almost expecting Dean to say something more.

"Say it." Sam prompted, smirking annoyingly.

"Fine." Dean shifted his gaze. "Nerds are cool." He muttered under his breath. Sam always taunted him that one day, he'd get him to say it.

"What did I just hear Dean Winchester say?" He heard someone joke light-heartedly. Dean recognized the voice right away- Baby.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he'd grabbed the angel into a huge hug. "_Please_ don't make me go back on that horrible airplane," He begged, and Sam snickered. When Dean opened their eyes, they were standing outside of the motel, next to the parked car.

"You have the energy?" Baby asked, and Sam quickly handed it off to him. "Great. I'll bring this to Cas and-"

_Thunk! _Suddenly Cas was splayed on his back on the hood of the Impala. A small drip of red was on the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were closed.

"Dammit, Cas!" Baby said, rushing and helping him sit up from the small of his back and helping him slide off the hood. "Well, you should have waited." Baby scolded, responding to something unspoken. He gave him the red clay vase, which Cas opened the top just slightly and sighed as a bit of white mist rose out and floated to his chest.

"Thank you, both." He croaked, he must not have been speaking much lately.

"How are they?" Dean asked quietly. Baby and Sam exchanged a glance: wow. It was very much unlike him to be so...sweet.

"Fine, Dean. Healthy." Cas replied, his voice scraping unpleasantly on his vocal chords.

"Can I have a minute?" Dean asked quickly, almost like he was nervous. Baby and Sam again exchanged a suspicious glance, but Baby put his hand on Sam's shoulder and they went inside the motel room.

Dean quickly strode up to Castiel and gripped his arm lower arm tightly. Castiel was too weak to pull away. "Dean, what are you doing?!" He asked in a tiny voice, but he already knew.

"I have to help." Dean insisted, narrowing his eyes as Cas weakly tried to pull away. Dean had gotten his wavering mind-reading just at the right moment, as he peered into Baby's head during his dream and saw exactly how he could transfer one of them to live in _his_ soul.

"Stop! You don't know what will happen!" Cas whispered hoarsely, but Dean held on tightly as his arm began to glow that white light again, and Castiel felt one of the stars dislodge from his chest and start to flow out to his arm.

"Please stop," Castiel begged, as the star reached his lower arm. Dean gritted his teeth, not knowing what to expect as the orb began to cross over.

It was almost pathetic at how long he lasted. The orb hadn't even been fully absorbed when all of Dean's energy was whisked into the tiny thing in less than a second. Castiel quickly drew it back with a stifled cry and caught the extremely limp Dean before he collapsed to the ground.

"I'm sorry. I tried to warn you. Our capacities are just too different. You're only a drop to my ocean, Dean." He said quietly, as he sent out a quick message for Baby to come back. He lightly stroked his hair, only once. "Thank you for trying to help."

Baby and Sam rushed back, Baby lifted an eyebrow and stopped in his tracks. "What the hell happened?" He asked, quickly reaching to help Dean keep from falling over.

"He tried to take one in. He wanted to help, but, now all his energy is gone." Castiel explained exhaustedly. He lifted the lid on the vase again, getting a tiny energy boost.

"Hell, I should have known he'd do something like this." Baby said, repositioning his hold on Dean's body, as he'd begun to slip.

"Sam, so sorry to leave you like this. He'll probably be sleeping for a while." Baby looked into his sleeping face, with an expression that was torn between admiration and 'you stupid bastard'. "Call if it's been more than a week. I captured Naomi, and I think we're finally going to start getting some answers."

"Naomi? Really?" Sam asked in disbelief. Wow, maybe Baby really would be able to fix some serious things.

"And I won't go easy on her," Baby assured him, suddenly getting very grave. "Take care of him. I'll try and take care of the rest." He touched Castiel on the arm, and the two vanished yet again.

"Dean, you're probably the stupidest, most selfless man I know." Sam groaned under his breath as he helped to put his completely limp body into the backseat. "You better wake up soon, or I'll have to kill your dumb ass." He shook his head but smiled, climbing into the driver's seat. He started down the road, lightly turning up the music dial.

* * *

Naomi slowly opened her eyes. She was in a pitch black room, and only she was illuminated in the dim yellow light of a naked bulb above her. She looked a mess; her usually sleekly bunned hair was awry, greasy pieces falling into her face. She wore no posh makeup this time, and one of her eyes was puffy and purple. She rattled her wrists, but she was firmly chained to her chair.

"Like what I did to the place? Never really liked the color white." Baby growled, finally walking out from the darkness as he began to stalk with his long legs around the chair, like a circling shark, smoke from his cigarette in his fingers trailing in delicate swirls behind him.

"I've always preferred black. I must say, it suits your eye quite well. What a shiner," He said coldly, coming around the back of the chair and as he passed her shoulder, flicked a few ashes from his cigarette on it.

"Soloviel, you filthy little shit." She spat, straining her wrists again. "You're a damn disgrace. To all the guardian angel class. They all talk about it, how you don't deserve that title. That you're a low-class despicable angel who's lost his mind-_unf_!" Baby had backhanded her hard across the face.

"Do you know what you've done to the ones I protect? And you should know, there's nothing like a guardian's wrath." His steely eyes glittered dangerously in the dim light. He slammed his hands down on the armrests and leaned in on front of her chair, and she sneered as he gave her a look that could kill as he calmly brought the cigarette up to his mouth, breathed in, and exhaled his smoky cloud right into her face.

"You know why I smoke? Because it reminds me of car exhaust. Want to know what I did while in it, protecting an ex-vet and a man who tortured in hell? I learned a few tricks," He said coldly, flicking ashes onto her shoulder disrespectfully again. He climbed off the chair, receded into the darkness and came back with a syringe full of something pitch black.

"Now, you're going to tell me everything. How to cure Castiel, how to purify his offspring of the things you made them uptake. What you did to Dean and Sam and how I'm going to fix it." He growled, flicking the tip of the needle.

"I'm not telling you _an-y-thing_," Naomi jeered, and she spat at his feet. Her face twisted horribly as she wrinkled her nose and sneered at him, struggling against her bonds more viciously this time.

"Here's something else black that I love. Do you know what this is? It's good old Leviathan blood, otherwise known as the unholiest substance to ever exist. This is like poison to angels, the absolute worst kind. Look, it's not even been exposed to air yet, and look at its effects." He brought the glass under her nose, and she felt her stomach violently churn and she felt tears spring to her eyes just having it in the proximity to her grace. For the first time, she actually looked afraid.

"You'll learn in time, Naomi. No one fucks with my family." His grey-blue eyes narrowed as he brought the syringe and pressed it into the pale white skin of her arm. Her screams ripped through the air, so full of pain they sounded inhuman. He knew he could fix Cas. He could fix everything.

* * *

_Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I am so glad I could finally show the badass side of Baby a little better, because so far I've portrayed him as sweet and caring, but I wanted it to be clear how passionate a guardian angel can be for his 'family.' I'm glad I got a wonderful suggestion by CoolBeena that I found could be a great transition to finally find out more from Dean's memory. Thanks for that!_


	10. The Great Escape

_No. Oh, no. _His eyes snapped open, and he scrambled to get on his feet. This dream was like only one of the previous dreams he'd had with the clarity it was coming to him with. The last thing he could remember before he'd been thrust into the dream was trying to help Cas with one of the kids, his kids. He shuddered with fear; he needed to get back, he needed to make sure everything was okay.

He felt every detail of his body as his neglected muscles cramped and screamed. Nothing about it was dream like, as all his details felt crystal-clear and sharp. Sam had clambered to his feet and was shrinking back to the very far wall of the cage, shielding himself with his dark, grimy and tattered wings, which Dean could see because of the white-light lantern that was floating down the hall.

Dean found himself scrambling back to the far wall as well, pressing onto the damp concrete and squeezing his eyes shut, feeling his body shudder as if it were an echo of the horrors that had happened to it previously whenever it saw the white light of the lamp. He felt his gut wrench as it illuminated something else; the person in the cage to his other side was completely still and not breathing, flat on their back, and instead of wings there were only dirty shadows, burnt outlines of wings on the ground, he was clearly dead. His body and possibly his soul had simply given out.

He felt a rush of terror right down into his bones as the lantern creaked and swung to stop and the bumping footprints stopped in front of his and Sam's grimy cages.

He choked back a shriek as he was falling toward the front of the cage like gravity had shifted, slamming hard into the iron bars. "This one, he goes to the Breaking Room." The bearded man with a shadowed face told one his blank-eyed assistants, jabbing a finger at Sam's cage. "This one too." He met Dean's eyes, and Dean narrowed them, his cheek pressed to the bars, one of the sharp edges cutting into his cheek and forehead.

Then, for the first time in a long time, there was the rhythmic clanging as the bars slid open for both of them. Dean fought with everything he had to stumble in the direction of Sam, and he was able to brush his fingers along his arm before he was violently yanked back by one of his wings, he cried out and had a firm hand gripping his throat.

"Separate them. Don't let them touch each other. Breaking room, asap." The man sent two of the dead-eyed angels with them, as he observed the body of the part-angel in the cage next to theirs. "What a damn shame, such a weak little waste of space. You, dispose of this."

The two were being led and shoved down the dark and narrow hallway, and they watched in horror as dirty and broken faces peered out at them, their eyes shining with helplessness as the white lantern shone on them. Dean was being roughed up a lot, his legs screamed in pain as he took stiff steps, his muscles had crystalized and lost their strength when he'd been in that tiny space. He stumbled forward, one of his legs giving out on itself, and he was caught by the wing again, this time a few of his feathers were ripped clean out.

It hurt much more than he thought it would, and he cried out and felt a rush of tears in his eyes. "Shut up." The cold voice hissed at him, grabbing him by the back of the neck and shoving him forward. He stumbled forward and he could just make out the outline of the rectangular door as he breathed raggedly, his legs screaming in pain and the spot where his feathers had been torn out still felt like it was on fire, the plucked skin was burning painfully.

One of the zombie-angels lifted an arm and placed their palm flat on the door, and it simply disappeared. His eyes contracted painfully in the bright white light that followed, and they were shoved through the door and it became a blank white wall behind them. There was a fork in the halls right away, and Dean began to be shoved down the starchy-white one that lead straight ahead, and Sam was looking like he was going to be hooked to the right.

"Dean!" He cried out painfully. He finally saw his brother in the full light; his wings were a dark, earthy brown, and they would have been beautiful if they weren't scabbed with blood and dirty with stringy, wrecked feathers. His eyes pleaded, his body was curled over with his deteriorated muscles and he looked weak and broken. He felt a rush of motivation and tried to rip away from his captor, but he fell to his knees as instead of getting a handful of feathers ripped out, the angel had sliced a chunk right off. He curled in on himself and screamed, the pain was more than he'd ever experienced in his life.

He felt something warm and thick dripping and sliding down the rest of his wing, and saw it drip to the floor right in front of his nose. Silver. The blood wasn't an opaque red, but instead it was a shiny, swirling silver, like mercury. It must have been what angel's blood looked like. He got only a glance of their legs as Sam was roughly shoved from his peripheral vision.

"None of that, filthy hybrid." The angel spat, and he gritted his teeth as a foot pressed down painfully onto his exposed cheek. "Get up, swine, or would you like a little defeathering done?" He felt the sole of the shoe lift and he felt something else fall down onto his face, something light and somewhat prickly. The same object fell just before his face, it was a single, dark butterscotch feather with a brilliant pure gold sheen in the bright light. He realized with a shock: it was _his, _from the chunk that had been ripped out earlier.

He stumbled to get up, and his head was seized and his neck was twisted another way so that he wouldn't be able to get a visual of his brother. He almost slipped to his knees again, but finally climbed to a standing position, and he was being pushed forward, a strong hand gripped firmly on one of his wings. He squinted his eyes at the bright white light that was making his head swim. This was it, he'd never see his brother again. He'd never be the same Dean ever again either; he'd heard whispers of this terrible Breaking Room in the cages. That they'd torture and never stop until they were indistinguishable from their former selves, broken beyond recognition.

He let himself by led roughly by the back of the neck, he didn't know what would happen next, and his spirit felt crushed. He closed his eyes, stumbling along the hallway. He opened them for a second, right in time to notice the lights flickering.

"What the..." The angel voiced, looking up at the lights to see if there was a faulty lightbulb. Dean got a jolt of shock as he stared straight ahead, and a man had suddenly appeared, he was thin and wearing all black, standing with his legs shoulder-width apart, his arms at the ready by his side as he held a shining silver blade in one hand, it was shining and dripping with a mixture of red and silver. His head was hanging, the only thing Dean could see was a head of pitch black hair as the man panted.

"No," the angel behind him breathed, digging his nails into Dean's wing, his hand was shaking.

"S'matter? Didn't think I'd _follow through?_" The man asked in a deep, rumbling voice, finally raising his head to look at the two of them, Dean only got a glimpse of the shining pale blue eyes before they were plunged into darkness.

Dean felt pure terror seize him as sounds of a struggle played all around him, and he was completely blind as his heart raced. There was finally a bright white light and a boom as one of them was killed, and a pressing silence followed. Dean struggled to take out and light a match from Cas's matchbox, his hands were trembling so harshly. He struck the match, one of the two he had left, and brought the flare up with shaking hands, as it illuminated the face of a stranger.

"Oh, thanks for that. I needed a light." The man said cockily, lifting a dark eyebrow, and slipping a cigarette out of his pocket and sticking it in the flame, then bringing it to his lips and breathing in greedily, the tip glowed with papery reds and crackled slightly.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean demanded, his hand shaking as the orange light shifted over the handsome face. The man took another drag, smiling slightly and closing his eyes, breathing out as he simultaneously spoke up. "Ahhh. That's the stuff." He reached over and put his hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean jumped and cringed, but his legs and arms suddenly felt normal again, strong and straightened out. The mysterious person began to lead him through the dark.

"We're getting Sam." He told him, leading him down hallways with his upper arm.

"Who are you?" Dean insisted again, showing he would resist the pull on his arm slightly until he answered.

"My name is Soloviel, and I'm your guardian angel." He said matter-of-factly, and Dean was confused. He sure as hell didn't have a guardian angel with all the crap that had happened to him.

"Either you're lying, or you're the shittiest guardian angel the world has ever known." Dean said acidly, not knowing why he still followed this man's lead as he pulled him down the twisting and dark hallways.

"Wow, that comment stings. Not nearly as much as being T-boned by a semi-truck at full speed or being flipped over by a hoard of demons, wouldn't you agree?" He replied cooly, and Dean brought his eyebrows together. What the hell was he talking about? The only thing that had happened to was...the Impala.

"Are you saying...?" The comment simply slipped out from his lips.

The man had no time to reply as the grip on his arm suddenly disappeared, and shuffles and cries sounded through the darkness as two bright lights shone and died, and the lights flickered and came back on. There were two bodies crumpled on the floor, and a very confused looking Sam. "Sammy!" Dean screamed, rushing forward and barreling into him, having to hold him up as his crippling muscles still hadn't been restored by the man claiming to be their guardian angel.

"We don't have much time," The dark-haired man panted, cleaning his blade off on his black shirt quickly and putting a hand on Sam's shoulder to heal his muscles. The man grabbed onto Dean's wrist without hesitation, doing the same to Sam as he began to lead them down the pure white twisting hallways, trying to find a way out.

"Who is he?" Sam asked Dean. "He claims he's my guardian angel," Dean replied in a bitter voice, clearly showing that he believed none of it.

"Who said you had me to yourself? I'm Sam's too. The whole Winchester line, specifically." The man answered, beginning to lead them down one hall and then jerking them another way, letting out somewhat of a panicked breath. "Shit. Bitches, we've got company."

"What the hell were you talking about earlier? Being T-boned, being flipped by demons?" Dean demanded, pumping his legs as hard as he could to keep up, breathing heavily. He hadn't had been able to even stretch his legs in a long time, and now he was being expected to sprint for his life.

"What's something that's been with you your whole lives? My vessel was the Impala, that was how I kept close to you." He whipped them down another short hallway, his heart fluttering. Dammit, they were all around him. There was no way out.

"Are you saying you're Baby? She's a girl. And you're not...you're not her." He said, suddenly feeling skeptical. Why would this strange man be pretending to impersonate that, when he clearly wasn't? Sam cocked his head to the side, smiling.

"I always knew we had an angel. I knew someone was in that car when Gabriel put me in there." He said almost under his breath, looking at him with astonished eyes. "The last thing I saw when I took control of my body from Lucifer...the sunlight reflecting off of the car. That was you, wasn't it? You were the one helping me." He said softly, realization playing in the depths of his eyes. The man nodded, down casting his eyes. "Thank you." Sam said softly, shuddering slightly. That was such a horrible time. And if this angel hadn't been there to help him...

Dean knit his eyebrows together, shocked. Could it really be...? But there was no one helping them, so many misfortunes had come their way and nobody had tried to help them before. They had always been on their own.

"No you weren't, Dean. You were never only on your own." Baby growled, his knuckles whitening as he gripped tightly onto his blade. This would be a tough one to fight out of, but he _would _get them out of it, both of them, if it killed him.

The angels rushed from both the left and right halls as they came to a blank wall, pouring out and scrambling over each other with creepy, blank faces, pouring and falling over each other like rushing water as someone else commanded their bodies, they were powerless and blank as zombies.

"Run! I'll fight them off!" Baby commanded both of them, shoving both of his boys roughly behind his back and whipping is blade out fully in his hand, slashing at the nearest angel. They weren't fast enough, and had barely even turned around when they were both seized by hundred of hands, people wedging between them and ripping them apart.

Baby was curled up on the floor, his body shuddering and twitching as the equivalent of a taser was wrapping up his arms, he was trying to fight it off but the electricity jolted his whole body as small lightningbolt-like bursts of energy jumped from his arms and from his shuddering body. Sam couldn't see much in the swirling mass of people, but he suddenly found himself almost tripping over Baby's body. He saw what was effecting him, and without a second thought ripped off the tentacle-like things wrapped around his arms, flinging them away as they sent a very unpleasant bolt of energy down his arms as well. Baby fought to stand up, and Sam reached to pull him up from under the arms, when a blast of bright white burst from his body, and the mass of people surrounding him in a diameter fell to the ground, black wings painting the walls and each other. Sam looked on with wide eyes, astonished. Dean watched in horror as they kept dragging him further and further away.

"Sam! No, we need to get him!" Baby cried out, stumbling out of his grasp and pulling out of his arms, making his way over the fallen bodies and running as fast as he could toward Dean. Dean watched as he reached out to him, a look of shock and disbelief on his face. "Dean!" He cried out, his voice was dripping with pain as his eyes shone bright with it. Dean felt his stomach drop, finally believing that everything he'd said to him before had to be true.

Baby tried to send out another blast of energy like he had before, he was easily able to kill these extremely low-level angels simply from his power that came with the title of being a guardian. Still, it had been too late. The bright light was only able to catch a few of the mass of angels before they all disappeared, whisking him away. Around twenty of them dropped in a mass, black sooty wings were everywhere. Baby fell into a dead faint, and Sam rushed to catch him before he hit the floor.

"Hey, hey! Wake up, please!" He shook the man's shoulders, but he was out like a light. Sam looked up in disbelief at the blank space where his brother and a mass of angels had just been, not wanting to believe that he was gone.

Dean's eyes flew open, and he was in a blindingly white room, he looked at the collected woman across the bright white desk. She was wearing a blazer and a white shirt, her dark hair in a neat bun, bright red lipstick on her lips. He stained against his bonds, there were thick iron cuffs on his wrists. "Naughty boy, Dean." The woman scolded, scowling and knitting her fingers together on top of the desk. "You were going to be important, one of our special warriors. You were one of the first to turn. But, after this little _incident_... you're simply going to be a pawn. You'll be a living example that needs to be set, for anyone else who thinks they can get away with this."

She snapped her fingers and there was a whoosh behind his chair, another angel had appeared, no doubt one of the ones she controlled directly. "You. Take him to the Lighthouse, understand? Tell them he is to get a little _reconstruction _done." Dean was startled when he felt a soft hand touch his arm. His eyes darted to where he'd felt the touch. He saw a very familiar hand, the fingers lightly touching his arm, his hand peeking from the tan sleeve of a trench coat.

"I understand." He graveled, his voice was painfully familiar and void of all emotion. Dean almost couldn't bear to look up at his face, and his heart broke when he saw him. He looked forward with a detached gaze, his eyes had no light or life shining from the dull blue. His face was almost dead-looking as he stared blankly ahead.

"Do you know why we call it the Lighthouse, Dean? It is an institution that guides others away from the rocky shores of mistakes, a light in these dark times. People who made mistakes go in, examples come out." She said coldly. "Take him away, Castiel."

"Cas! Please, I know you're in there somewhere!" He cried out, pleading. One of the joints on his hands twitched slightly, but that was all. He felt himself being hurtled through space, landing in yet another chair with the iron cuffs. This room was lit with a dim yellow light, and square foot tiles covered the walls and ceiling, with damp gray concrete on the floor. Dean felt his stomach churn as he could still see remnants of blood staining the grout on the scrubbed-clean white. Someone was at the steel sink at the other side of the room, their back to him as they washed their hands.

"Reconstruction." Castiel said again in that eerily blank voice, but he didn't remove his hand from his arm, his hand was shaking slightly at the effort. Dean felt panic flutter into his chest as he caught a glimpse of the tools on the shiny silver roll-in table next to him. "_Cas_!" He pleaded, and the only reaction he got was a slightly eye twitch on his blank face. What was going to happen to him here? Reconstruction? Setting an example? What did any of that mean?

_I'm sorry. _Dean perked up as he heard the words as clear as day, but he knew he hadn't picked up the words from the noise around him. He looked at Cas, and his facial expression was just as blank as ever. Did that come from him? _I'm sorry. I can't disobey again. I need to protect them, Dean. _

"Who?" He asked, his face screwing into a betrayed expression. His friend was right here, close enough to touch- hell, he _was _touching him, and he wasn't going to help him. There was no reply, but Dean looked at him one more time, and he saw shining, tiny pinpricks of light in his chest, underneath the skin and bones of the vessel he wore. Then, he was gone with the blink of an eye.

"Oh, goody. Reconstruction, am I going to have fun." The woman turned around, pulling gloves onto her hands. Another person appeared in the room right next to him, fiddling around with the numerous tools and smiling and humming creepily to herself. Dean strained to get out of his bonds, but there was nothing that worked. He felt crushed; Cas was the one who had brought him here, and apparently there were people out there who were more important than him that Cas need to protect, so much more important than him that he'd just abandon him here.

The two woman worked efficiently but not so quickly, which wasn't exactly a good thing for Dean. They came randomly, coming for a few hours to torture him with experiments, before leaving again. Dean had no idea how much time had passed as he had fallen into a deep chasm, he was hopeless and numb, knowing that Cas and Baby had tried and failed to rescue him.

One of their sessions was much worse than any of the rest. It was exactly like one of the disturbing dreams he'd had before, one of them took a small saw and had opened up his head, and she was enjoying herself far too much in her work as she messed around with his brain, digging around, pulling pieces out, disconnecting things.

"You won't need anyone but us to heal you, pawn. So why don't you come crawling back to us when you're too injured...that is, if you haven't died already." He felt like a part of him suddenly vanished, falling away and exposing him with an awful feeling.

"Communication, hmmm, no need. This device will be the only thing you need to talk with. " Dean felt something fizzle and die out, things he wasn't exactly conscience that he had, but it was painful to have these abilities die inside of him.

The other woman had a strange buzzing device in her hand, and had her lips pulled into creepy smile as she brought the buzzing device closer and closer to his eye, ready to insert the horrible silver cylinder that would in turn make him into a slave to heaven.

"Telekinesis, interesting. I know those who can get by without it, and I suppose there will be no need." Dean struggled to pull against the iron cuffs, his wrists had already chaffed and blood was spilling out onto them. Suddenly, his whole body went stiff as something in his brain was hit that clearly wasn't meant too. He felt a surge of power like he'd never known before, the strength filling his whole body, just about ready to burst out. "Oops." The lady said in a tight voice.

_Boom._

Dean suddenly found himself full of any and all abilities, and each one was at its strongest point. He was able to reach down and ignite that very last match that Cas had given him, taking the small flame and multiplying it tenfold, creating a massive ring that kicked out and shoved both of the women away from his chair. He easily lifted his wrists from the thick iron cuffs, the metal was molten and glowed yellow, sticking and pulling onto his wrists. It was impossibly easy for him to heal every single one of his injuries within seconds; the raw skin on his hand, the bloody and now burnt wrists, even his tattered wings healed and smoothed out, shiny and dark butterscotch, flashes of gold as the light played across them. _Thank you, Cas. _He shot off the thought, without him and the matches, he wouldn't have been able to get out of there.

His blade easily dropped into his hand, and he ran through the first woman easily and dropped her body roughly to the floor. The buzzing device dropped out of her limp hand, bouncing and jumping along the floor as the angel's silver blood pooled around her. Dean realized with shock; this had been his very first dream.

Dean ran through the other woman easily, as she had quickly fled to the sink and had yanked down an alarm, a panicked look on her face. The sirens were wailing, and Dean knew he didn't have much time as his energy was burning itself out quickly, she must have hit some type of strange angel-adrenaline type of response in his brain, it must have been located dangerously close to his telekinesis area. He stood there and the walls began to rip apart, the concrete cracking and tumbling down, and Dean stepped over the rubble and out of the gaping hole, finding himself in other bright white, maze-like hallway.

He broke into a sprint, and whenever he came to a dead end he simply tore down the walls and kept going. His heart began to race as he felt his energy quickly burning out, and he knew that if he couldn't get out now, he'd never escape.

The alarm wailed, and it wasn't long before he met his first group of zombie-eyed angels. He quickly tore them all down with his blade, feeling the speckles of silver blood on his face as he kept running. There were pounding footprints behind him, and shots rang out as Dean made a sharp turn, getting just a glimpse of the wall as he sprinted away. The bullets had hit the wall, but they hadn't left small holes like the metal ones; instead, they splattered and exploded a dark, poisonous black on the walls. Dean wasn't sure how he knew, it might have been instinct, but he knew that those bullets had been made of Leviathan blood, a poisonous substance that would have stopped him, but not killed him.

He somehow sensed that he was close to the end, that he was close to an exit. There were more shots behind him, this time they weren't splattering on the walls, but they clanged against the walls and whizzed by, a pure silver color that Dean had only seen in angel blades. Bullets made of angel blades? They weren't trying to take him alive at this point; they wanted him dead.

Finally, the first break in the identical white walls. It was one panorama window, overlooking the garden of heaven. Dean pumped his legs to run faster, and he felt the last of his energy die out as he smashed into the windows, bright silver bullets just missing his body as they whizzed by, one of them even nicking a piece of his clothes. He almost felt like he was falling in slow-motion, the sharp shards of glass tumbling and twinkling around him, sometimes shining light onto his golden wings and getting a flash of gold in response. Where was he supposed to go? He felt a genuinely strong connection to the body he'd left on earth, his one true vessel.

It was getting harder and harder for him to think and concentrate as he felt like the episode of complete power had burnt out his body and even his brain as things began to get muddled and it was hard to remember. His brain fuzed out, like the dying flame of a match, as he disappeared mid-fall, tumbling down to earth and relying on the pull to his body alone, he couldn't remember to think anymore. _Thank you, Cas. _There was only one phrase that echoed through his mind, and he couldn't remember why he was repeating it after just the second time around.

* * *

Sam looked back at his brother's body in the back seat, he was twitching slightly with a frown on his face, when he rolled over and snored loudly. Sam was thinking about calling Baby back down; it had already been a week since he'd passed out, at first he'd been still as a corpse, but lately he'd been seeing much more action from him as he obviously dreamt.

He quickly looked behind him, and felt his stomach drop as he saw that black pick-up truck once again. He'd spotted it a few days ago, and he realized that the truck had been following him ever since, and he had no idea who it was or why there were following him. They would have been good at trailing him if it hadn't been for Sam's sharp observation skills. The person always hung back, never parked anywhere near them, the truck sometimes even would go and turn down a different road for a few blocks before picking them up again. No matter how hard Sam tried to shake them, the car never left. He wasn't very thrilled to break that news to Dean when he woke up. He decided; he'd call him back down.

...

Baby was panting, a bead of sweat ran down his face and dripped off the tip of his nose. He was still in that dark room with Naomi, and the Leviathan poisoning was affecting him as well as the noxious fumes wafted into the air and made him feel sick. He slammed his hands onto the armrests one more time, looking into Naomi's face with sickly grey-blue eyes. "I am going to ask you one more time. _How do I purify them?" _

Naomi did not look good at all. Her skin was pale and shone with a corpse-like quality, her eyes shone with sickness and they were dull like a doll's. She had branches of black veins painted on her arms, and she breathed heavily as the dark poison pumped through her body, the unholy substance disagreeing violently with her grace as she fought an inward battle.

"_You can't_!" She panted, her eyelids lolling to say open.

"Yes, I can! I will do anything, there has to be something! I will not tolerate my nephews being poisoned at birth!" He yelled, blinking the sweat from his eyes as it dripped off the ends of his dark hair. He didn't look very well himself; his skin had grown pale, and dark crescents shadowed under his eyes.

"What we do to them is...*_wheeze*_...irriversable. You can't cure someone of being human, or phoenix..." She went into a violent coughing fit, and spots of tarrish black and silver spotted her clothes. "..skinwalker, or werewolf. That's who they are now, they've absorbed it, there's no turning back."

"What about Cas? What is the treatment, how do I make him stronger?" Baby insisted, pulling out a full syringe of Leviathan blood again, the needle twinkled in the dim light.

"No!" She screamed, a look of pure terror on her face. "Okay! We do the same thing- transferring energy to them, killing the low-class angels for it. But they never are perfectly healthy... We have no concern for the host's outcome. Only our weapons."

Baby roughly pinched her face inbetween his fingers, and tears shone and dripped from her eyes. "_Will. He. Die?_" He demanded, bringing the needle just inches above her cheek,

"No! I...I don't know! A few hosts survived..we didn't care! There are no records, no stats!" He was ready to jab the needle into her cheek, he gritted his teeth angrily, the posion in the air was making his head swim, making him make rash decisions.

_Kaz. Hey, it's been a week. Can you come check on Dean? _

Baby blinked his eyes, backing away from the woman strapped to the chair. She hung her head, and her arms dropped and relaxed as she breathed raggedly, relieved at the close call.

"Why don't you _think about it?_ Maybe you'll 'remember' something important, hm?" He dropped the syringe back onto the metal table, feeling the room spin. "We're not finished, Naomi."

He dropped into the passenger's seat of the car, wiping the sweat from his face as he breathed in some of the fresh, earthly air.

"Whoa. Kaz, you don't look so good." Sam said lightly. Baby brought a hand down his face, breathing out a sigh.

"Don't worry about it." He gravelled, blinking heavily and sinking into the seat. A second passed before he spoke up again. "Dean will be fine. I just checked: he's getting closer to consciousness, he'll be up and running within the hour."

Sam looked relieved, but now turned his attention to Baby. "What's wrong with you? What have you been doing?" He asked, not liking the state Baby was in currently one bit.

"I've been with Naomi. I've almost cracked her, but I haven't got much of anything useful yet." He said sadly, looking down at the ground. _Fuck_. He thought. That was a straight up lie, she _had_ been telling him, everything he asked, but none of it were things he wanted to hear. Hopefully he'd get some good new soon, a solution, or he had no idea what he was going to tell any of them. He couldn't bear to tell them the truth; that right now, the situation probably was as bleak as it seemed.

Dean groaned and rolled over again in the back seat. Sam looked back to check on him, and once again saw that black pick-up truck in the corner of his eye.

"I have some more bad news. I think we're being followed, since a few days ago." Sam said, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I don't know what they want, if they're dangerous."

"Which car is it?" He asked, hooking his arm around the seat and looking behind him, lifting an eyebrow. The road behind them was completely empty.

"They're gone. I've only been getting glimpses, but it's always there." Sam defended himself quickly. He didn't want him to think he was going crazy or something.

"Call me again if something's up. I'll be there." Baby replied, looking nervous, like there was somewhere he needed to be. "Will do." Sam said skeptically, looking at how sickly he looked, how he looked like he was hiding something. What was he not telling him? The man disappeared with a whoosh, and it was just Sam and Dean once more. Just for good measure, Sam quickly swerved down a random street, wanting to shake his tail. He didn't know if he could handle much more bad news.

* * *

"Dammit! I think he saw us that time." The black-haired teenager spoke up, running a hand through his hair when he spotted the Impala jerk and swerve quickly down a dirt road path.

The engine rumbled as the two boys sat in bench seat of the pick-up truck, the window looking into the back between their heads. They looked like they were the same age, and even though one was blonde and the other dark, it was clear by a few similar facial features that they were no doubt related. They looked tired and cramped in the small space, cheeseburger wrappers and empty soda cans littered the floor. Mozart blasted from the speakers, and the dark-haired teen was driving, looking serene as he gazed at the road ahead of them with light green eyes.

"Why do you play this crap? I want to hear some Metallica next," the blonde one voiced, crossing his toned arms.

"It calms me down. Nothing has been happening for close to three weeks, Lee. The last thing I need is more anxiety." He answered, narrowing his eyes as to not lose focus on the street the car turned down. "Fine. When the CD's over, you can pick whatever you want."

The blonde one brought his eyebrows together and cocked his head to the side slightly, narrowing his clear blue eyes in thought. "You never let me pick the music." He pointed out skeptically, and a look of realization crossed his face. "Oh. You don't want to argue, do you? There's a full moon tonight." He added quietly.

"Shut up! I'm fine." He was quick to defend himself, but already he was looking a little glassy-eyed. He blew a piece of dark hair from his face angrily and brought his lips into a frown.

"I should drive, RJ." The blonde one spoke up again, but he had a gentle, sweet tone, not even a hint of accusation in it. The driving teenager said nothing, but allowed himself to be gripped on the arm as air fluttered some of the trash as they swapped places. "We should stop for a motel, too."

The kid looked frustrated as he looked out the windows and crossed his arms. "You don't have to baby me. When I say I'm fine, I'm fine. Capeesh?"

The blonde teenager bit his lips and looked over at his brother with a concerned expression. "We're stopping for a motel." He declared this time, not leaving the statement up for questioning. The dark-haired teenager frowned and leaned into the seat, suddenly feeling a rush of nausea stir in his stomach. "Okay," He finally gave in, clutching at his stomach as he felt his face grow tight, no doubt he'd be dripping with sweat soon.

"We've been on our own for three months, RJ. I should know better by now." The blonde one spoke up, looking over with a concerned expression to his brother, who was now looking a bit sick. "You know I'm going to take care of you, that's not a one-way street."

The sickly teen sighed. "It's just...this is weird for me. Usually just dad helps me with this. I didn't want to drag you in. Plus, I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of you, okay? It's not supposed to be the other way around."

This seemed to strike a nerve with the fair-haired boy. "_Why_?" He insisted, frowning. "It's not like I'm any younger than you! We're twins!" He huffed, frustrated. Why did his brother feel the need to act like he was the older one, like he needed to protect his 'little' brother, when he was just as capable?

"I'm a minute older." He retorted, giving him a bitchface.

"You're so annoying." The blonde one said, rolling his eyes but hiding his smile as he pressed down the pedal, forcing himself to listen to the classical music. It was funny how that worked out- his brother seemed so tough and rock n' roll, but he chose to listen to Mozart. He smiled inwardly.

"You're going to be okay, we'll get you in a nice comfy bed and you can just ride it through, alright?"

His brother nodded, avoiding his gaze as he turned his face away, and the blonde kid could only see part of his profile and his sharp jawbone. There was a moment of silence as the music lightly dotted the air.

"I'm sorry, Robbie. That any of this happens to you. Dad's working really hard for the cure, I know it." The kid driving spoke up softly. Robbie finally turned his face toward his brother, but he kept his eyes to the ground as his dark eyelashes fanned on his pale face.

"It's okay." Robbie silently ejected his CD and put in another. "Thanks for helping me, Leo. You've been really good, actually."

It didn't take much for Leo to notice that his brother was avoiding his glance because tears were coming to his eyes. What he went through each month, it looked painful. And he hated that there wasn't much he could do for his twin to help with that. A tear sparkled and dripped from his downcast eyes, and Leo said nothing as he silently reached over and rubbed his brother's shoulder, trying to comfort him. "It's not your fault, all this."

"Dammit Lee, I know." He shot back moodily. He was tired of hearing the same things over and over again. Telling him it wasn't his fault sure as hell didn't help with the pain, with the cold sweats, with the churning stomach, seizing chest and chills he had to suffer through Every. Damn. Month.

"We're not going to lose dad and Uncle Sammy if we stop for one night, so don't worry about that. We'll pick them up again, we'll make sure they don't get into any trouble. So don't worry, okay?" Leo spoke up, trying to console his brother once again, he knew he was a big worrywart.

"Yeah, okay." Robbie said quietly, breathing in deeply and wiping his forehead, which was beginning to grow clammy. They pulled into the nearest motel around twenty minutes later, and Robbie was already half-asleep, leaning heavily on the door. _Just ride it out_. He tried to calm himself down as he felt a rush of goosebumps down his spine. _Quit worrying, it's just for one night. You'll pick up dad again. _He worked to fight back the pains and the urge to turn, pushing with all his strength as he half payed attention to his brother pulling him from the car and helping him walk to their room. _They better not go looking for trouble tonight. Goddamn, those two are a handful to take care of. _

* * *

_Hello! If you guessed who RJ was from my previous chapters, then congrats! I didn't know if all of you would make the connection between the initials RJ and Robert John. But yes, his kids are back in time and helping him and Sam out. I'll reveal more about them and their (yes it made it very complex) story in the chapters to come! _

_Again, I've been doing a lot of writing ahead. Still, I'd love to hear what you think! Where you surprised by my little plot twist? Did you guess earlier? Also, would you like to see more of them before they have to go back? Do you think Baby will be able to find something to help? _

_Please review! Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated :) Thank you new favoriters and followers ChibitaliaxHRE, Luna George, Supervillegirl, & ayassinian! Thank you for reviewing CoolBeena :)_


	11. The Perplexing Pursuers

Sam looked at the clock in the car's dashboard. It had already been an hour since Baby had told him Dean would be awake, and he was worried sick. He hadn't heard a peep from him in the past twenty minutes, and he hadn't even repositioned like he'd been doing previously. It was getting dark and drizzly, and the wipers smearing on the glass and the sprinkle of rain were the only things interrupting the silence.

"Dean?" He finally asked, hoping that maybe his voice would wake him up. To his surprise, he got a response right away.

"Mm?" He replied quietly. He in no way sounded groggy. Sam peered back in the rear veiw; he was just _lying_ there, his eyes halfway open, a melancholy and distant look on his face as he lay completely still, staring at nothing.

"Dean, how long have you been awake?"

"Dunno. Past twenty minutes or so." Sam picked up something in his voice right away. He seemed distraught, distracted.

"Are you okay?"

There was a long pause, and Dean finally slid to sit up, and he dug his palms into his eyes and rubbed, finally scrubbing his face and dragging his hands down.

"No." He said curtly, looking down at his hands that he had woven together that rested between his knees. He kind of looked through everything, sighing inaudibly and thinking back to his dream.

"He abandoned me. He was _right there_, Sam. And he just threw me away, right to them, like I meant nothing to him." He thought back to that tiny eye twitch, his fingers slightly curling by the joints. He wasn't even trying that hard to fight it. He didn't care.

"You had another dream?" Sam asked, wondering what Dean was talking about this time. "Tell me. What happened?"

"It wasn't a dream, Sammy. It was _the_ dream."

Sam instantly felt somewhat panicked. Baby had warned him about when he remembered, telling him to be there for him. What could he possibly have seen? What did they do to him?

"The five months- you remember all of it?" He asked, swallowing his rising panic. What would Dean's reaction be? Why had Baby been so strange about the whole situation, insisting that he 'take care of him' when this happened?

"He just said 'I'm sorry.' That's it. Then he left me there, five months there, there was nothing they didn't do to me. Hours and hours, Sam." Then, to Sam's surprise, he started _laughing_. It was that kind of laugh that was almost more painful than sobbing.

"Do you know what he said? He said he couldn't disobey, because he needed to protect _them_. Who the hell was he talking about? Who is so important that he'd leave me in a surgeon's chair for months... Why did he leave me, Sam? He _promised_. He fucking _promised_. Don't you remember, he gave me the matches, he was pretending like he really was going to get us out?" A heartbroken laugh, his eyes were misty and full of pain.

"He didn't do _shit_ for us, Sam. Baby got you out. I got my own damn self out. All he did was use me to get himself knocked up." He spat bitterly, wringing his hands together. "He screwed me over with that shit, didn't he?" There was a low rumble, like thunder, starting from outside.

"You know what? _Fuck you, Cas_. I don't need you. Why the hell should I be there for you when you left me? You left me, and it was worse than hell." Suddenly, there was a deluge of water out of nowhere on the windshield. Sam slammed on the breaks as he felt the car start to hydroplane. "Dean! Stop it!"

Dean flashed him an angry look and yanked the car door open, running right out into the pouring rain. He stood there, feeling himself get soaked by the fat, numerous drops quickly. He fell to his knees with a puddly splash, his body forming a defeated arch as his palms soon pressed to the asphalt.

"Do you hear me, Cas? I'm done with you. So you can take yourself and those damn creatures and get the hell out of my life." He felt anger rise up in his chest, and lightning strikes began to flash into the sky, and rolling rumbles from the ground that shook the water in the puddles, the earthquakey rumbles and the thunder folded together.

Sam took his jacket and stretched it over his head, splashing to get to his brother. "Dean!" He yelled over the rushing wind and pattering rain. "Dean, you're soaking wet! Come back in the car!"

Dean was completely unresponsive as he curled his head into the crooks of his elbows, gripping tightly at his hair. There was a large crack that splintered underneath his feet, it almost had Sam falling over.

_Baby? Kaz, we need you! Dean woke up...he's sort of losing it! Hurry!_

There was a disturbance in the droplets, there was a spinning motion of rain drops as Baby suddenly appeared, and Sam rushed foward to catch him as his lanky legs buckled under him. _  
_

"Whoa! You okay?" He asked, peering into his pale face with black shadows under his eyes. "I'm fine, stop worrying that brainy little head of yours, babe. What's going on? With Dean?" Baby asked, trying to sound like his usually breezy self, but it was clear he was wearing thin.

"He woke up twenty minutes ago, but he kind of just...sat there. And then I asked him about it...probably wasn't the best idea." Baby struggled to stand, wiping water from his eyes. "Dammit, Dean."

Dean was suddenly pulled away from his thoughts as he felt a strong force pushing his body inward from all directions, he realized it was the same thing he'd felt a long time ago at the restaurant, when he'd been freaking out before. The rain slowed and began to stop, just a few patters could now be heard. Now Dean understood; it was Baby, he was supressing it for him.

"Hey, Deano." Baby said softly, slinking up to him, crouching down and laying a hand on his shoulder. His leather jacket was soaked, water dripped off the ends of his dark hair. Dean refused to look up at him as he stared ahead. He was so full of conflicting emotions he didn't know what to do with himself.

He hated Cas for abandoning him. He wasn't sure he wanted anything to do with him right now. And he didn't want to see Cas, he didn't really want to hear about his kids either. But then there was the other side of him, pleading him to forgive him, begging to accept the babies, even though there was going to be some major problems with them. He didn't want to think, yet he wanted think it out and solve it at the same time. All his worst fears really had happened- he shivered when he thought about all the tampering they'd done to his head. Then the fact that Cas let him.

"Hi, Bay." He answered quietly, blinking some water from his eyes. He sighed and rested his head in his crossed arms, resting those on top of his folded knees. He finally turned to see his face, and was surprised at how sick he looked. There was something else about him; the air coming from him was thick was a strange sour smell or feeling, it made Dean's stomach churn. "You look like shit. And you smell awful."

"Exactly what I wanted to hear, thanks." Baby replied, smiling slightly. He really didn't look so good. "How's the melon?"

"Chock full of shit I don't really want to know." Dean replied bitterly, looking away again. "Were you with Cas just now?" He kind of wanted to know how he'd reacted when he'd said all of that. He kind of wanted to hear that he was upset, at least that would mean he cared.

"Nope. Naomi." Baby dragged a hand down his face. "I'm trying so hard, kid."

"Thanks for that." He replied quietly. The two sat there in a puddle, just their legs touching slightly.

"You had the dream, then, didn't you? Tell me, this is important. Where did you go after the seige? Did they take you to The Jeweler?" Dean knit his eyebrows together. _The Jeweler_? What the hell was that?

"No. They called it...The Lighthouse." He shuddered just saying the name. He couldn't believe the experiments they'd performed on him, the unbearble pain that skewed time, periods of blacking out after digging around in his brain..

Baby's face fell, and suddenly Dean was overwhelmed as he was pulled quickly into a hug. "Shit, Dean, if I knew..."

"What the hell is the Jeweler? Is that what you thought I went to?"

"I thought- yes. That was why I needed you to remember. That was were Cas went, that's where they perform many of their experiments. But I guess- it wasn't. There's not much we can learn from the Lighthouse, Dean. I'm sorry."

Dean felt extremely frustrated on top of all his other swirling emotions now. "You're saying keeping me in the dark, all that crap; that was for _nothing_?"

Baby paused and licked his lips. "I'm sorry. I couldn't know for sure."

"Ugh!" Dean exclaimed, sweeping his fists down and two large cracks in the pavement appeared. "What the fuck is happening to my life?"

"Come back to the car, Dean. We need to talk this out, you need to tell us what you've seen." Baby coaxed him, standing and pushing off his knees to stand up.

"No." Dean replied, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "I don't...I don't want to talk about him, I don't even want to think about him." He felt frustrated tears coming to his eyes. "_He_ left me, Baby. And I was counting on him." His voice started to tremble, but he didn't want to stop talking and pretend everything was okay. He didn't want to pretend he was fine, not this time. "I thought he cared. I thought he would try to rescue me." He thought about that pang of hope he got when he saw the person's hand to escort him out, his little fingers peeking from a tan sleeve. Then, it had been crushed when he heard how awful those hollow words he'd uttered were. 'I understand.'

He didn't give two shits about him.

"That's not true." Baby growled, he was quick to defend his older brother. Dean whipped his head to look at him, his greyish blue eyes were narrowed, he was frowning slightly.

_"Of course_ you'd defend him." Dean said bitterly. "Do you see what he did to me?"

"I saw enough."

"Well, you know what? I'm done with him, I don't want anything to do with him. I really thought- I thought he cared." He somewhat hated that he sounded like a sappy mess, but right now he honestly couldn't care less. He needed to somehow let out some of the steam from the pressure cooker inside his chest.

"He does, Dean. More than you know."

"Then why the fuck did he abandon me?" He cried, his first tear dripping from his eye. He wiped it away angrily with the back of his hand. Baby was being kind and patient, which somehow made it worse. Why didn't he just yell at him back? Tell him he was being an asshole?

"Castiel has an enormous weakness for those kids, and you know it. He'd do anything for them. When he saw you that day, he'd already started treatments, and he was in a lot of pain."

"What does that have to do with _anything_?"

"He wanted to save you, Dean. I know he did. But he was already weak from the experiments they were carrying out on him. Even if he tried, he wouldn't have been able to save you. Then no doubt they would have punished him by making him kill them."

Dean rubbed his hands on his face and frowned. "I don't know, Bay. I've been pretending all my life, faking that I'm fine when I'm really not, putting on a tough guy mask for Sam and dad...I don't want to do that with this."

"You're angry."

"Of course I'm angry. At heaven, at Cas, especially at Cas. I still don't know if I can even handle the idea of having kids, okay? I'm scared out of my mind. And the fact he kept it a secret, he _still_ won't tell me much...he's making me so damn mad."

"If he could have saved you, he would have. Trust me."

He clenched his jaw and didn't reply. He knew it was true, but he was still so mad. Baby looked at him and then away, then back again, a contemplative look on his face. He pressed his lips together, then finally spoke up quietly.

"He loves you, Dean."

Dean felt the words like a physical blow. He shut his eyes slowly, resting his head in his arms. There was a very long pause, and Baby leaned closer to Dean, rubbing the top of his back for just two circles before pulling away. The scattered light from the streetlamps and the full moon shone bright back on their faces from the puddles, and Dean shivered at the wind chill that ran right to his skin from his plastered wet shirt.

"I think I know. I think I've known for a long time."

He wasn't sure how long they sat there this time. Baby didn't even rub his back like he usually did. Dean was too lost in thought for it to be awkward, and Baby just wanted to be there for him_. He'd already started treatments, and he was in a lot of pain. _He thought back to what Baby had explained earlier, and it hit him that Cas had probably gone through even worse than his whole experience combined when he'd seen him. That blank look on his face; even now, the memory of it gave him chills. He shouldn't have said all those things, he realized. He didn't really mean them. He _did_ want Cas in his life, and his kids, he wanted all three of them in it so badly. _  
_

"Next time you see him, tell him I'm sorry." Dean said remorsefully, hanging his head and shutting his eyes. He was so damn tired of this, going through ups and downs and trying to fully accept the grim reality life had tossed at him. He felt like a wreck, and he just wanted to be able to accept it already.

"I will. But for now, I have to get back to Naomi." Baby said in a tight voice, like it was something he greatly despised. "I'm going to find the cure, Dean. I'm so close. I promise I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure they come into this world pure."

Dean felt his tear ducts sting and he bit his lips, trying to force back the tears. This was really going to happen, and if he didn't find this cure to reverse what had been done to them... he couldn't even fathom how difficult it might get.

* * *

Robbie felt his stomach lurch painfully as the world seemed to tip and he fell into the doorpost.

"Whoa there, Bobby!" He heard Leo's voice, but he sounded tinny and faraway. He vaguely was aware of the arms holding him up and guiding him. His head split painfully, and his body shuddered as his skin felt too tight, it was uncomfortable to stay in this form right now. He felt his skin crawl as he fought back the urge, breifly registering that he was now laying down in bed.

"You'll be okay, RJ. I'm going to be right here, kay?" It was so hard for Robbie to focus on the words when pain squeezed through his veins. He softly groaned in response, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his body shiver violently.

He hated that Leo had to see him like this. He _knew_ it scared him. It had always just been him and his dad on night like these, as he held him and tried to make him feel normal as possible, like he just had a bad fever. He ached for the day when this didn't happen every full moon, for the day he could leave that all behind. Leo kept reminding him they were turning the whole world inside out looking for a cure. But deep down, he had huge doubts he would ever escape this monster he was.

He rolled into the covers, panting heavily as cold sweat beaded all over his body, he gripped the sheets and twisted as he felt a ripping in his chest, his stomach ached. He was ravenous, and it was for just one thing. He opened his eyes as saw Leo standing next to him, frowning. He'd had his hand on his forehead, Robbie had completely failed to notice.

"Leo...I'm sorry..." He managed to squeeze out feverishly, as his heart gave a strange, fierce pump and he tried to keep from crying out. This pain would go on all night, until finally in the wee hours of the morning Robbie would drop into a dead sleep from exhaustion, waking up around noon the next day with what felt like a hangover times a hundred.

"I'll be right here, Robbie. And I'll get your medicine in the morning." Robbie felt his chest squeeze bitterly at the word. _Medicine_, like it really was that. No one said it like it really was. He tried not to cry out as he felt a very wolfish growl begin in the bottom of his throat. He didn't want to wake Leo. He buried his clammy face into a pillow, feeling the sweat absorb along with his tears_. It'll be over soon. Just ride it out._

The worst part for him about staying up all night was all the thinking he couldn't avoid. He thought about what a hassle he'd been for his dad, keeping him awake too every month, ever since he was born. He would sometimes look at Leo and know he was afraid of him. Sometimes he felt so alone, and he'd never told anyone about it. He kept a lot about his 'illness' bottled up; the fact he was afraid of himself, he hated himself and what he could do to people. He tried to think about something, anything else as he bit his teeth together and tried to just get through the night. _  
_

Leo woke up around eight from his shallow sleep, and immediately looked over to his brother. He never told him that he never really slept through the night either, because he knew he tried so hard to keep quiet for him. He mainly stayed up from worry, not the noise. It was more difficult living on their own than he'd predicted.

He only saw a tuft of black hair sticking up from the sheets, his brother was sleeping like a log buried in the fluffy white covers.

He slid out of his bed and crawled over onto his brothers, making his way toward him on his knees. "RJ," He said softly, running his fingers over the pitch black hair. It was dripping with sweat. He let out a soft groan and shrunk further into the covers. "I'm going out to get your medicine and some breakfast, okay? I'll be back soon."

There was no response as he nuzzled deeper into his pillow. Leo quietly slid off the bed and was making his way to the door when Robbie spoke up.

"Lee." He managed to slur, sounding like he was still half-asleep. "Thank you," he said woozily, bringing the covers over and tucking himself into them. Leo smiled sadly, he felt tears coming into his eyes and he went out the door, carefully hanging the 'do not disturb' sign on the door.

It had been three months since they'd been back here, and this made it three full moons. Leo had always seen his brother go through this growing up, but he'd never had to handle it by himself. He absolutely hated seeing him suffer like that. Every time he barely slept, he was so worried. The way Robbie looked going to sleep, Leo somehow always got the image of a cancer patient in their last weeks. He thought about the part of his brother that Robbie despised, the werewolf part of him, and he thought about it the same way; like it was a cancer.

He closed his eyes and prepared to fly. He never was very good at flying. He blamed the human part of him, his dad had never done so well with it either, and even when Robbie did do the flying for him he always felt a little sick afterwards.

The ground seemed to jump up at him as he scraped his hands and knees, tumbling and hitting the side of the building. He rubbed his head and felt a small lump as he clambered to his feet. "Son of a bitch," He said under his breath, dusting off his pants. He looked up with curious deep blue eyes; had he arrived in the right place?

He slipped past the door, pushing past the hanging plastic strips and he wrinkled up his face as he was blasted with a fishy smell and he shivered in the cold. He'd have to work fast- he had no idea how long he'd have before someone came back into the room.

He slipped his blade easily into his hand, and he wrinkled up his nose thinking about what he was going to have to do. But when he thought about his twin brother sleeping back at the motel, sickly and weak, he was given his motivation. Robbie would be sick for days if he didn't get him his medicine, and this was one thing that he needed him for, he could be the one caring for _him_ now.

He came up to the nearest fish and sliced it partly open, careful not to damage the thing he needed. He screwed up his face as he reached in and felt the cold, slimy flesh, he felt around until he got it. He curled his hand around the heart and quickly yanked it out, almost gagging at the fishy slime on his lower arm. Two or three would probably be fine; fish hearts were a lot less potent than chicken or cow, which Robbie was mostly used to.

He felt disgusted as he did the same for the second fish, dropping the hearts into a brown paper bag. It was when he was going for the third that he heard something that made him gasp, he ripped his hand from the fish and ducked behind the counter. He'd heard voices, but they weren't just any voices. He could tell right away that this was Sam and Dean.

"We understand your sister was murdered a few days ago?" That had to be Sam. Leo tried to be quiet as he could, clutching the bag to his chest. He couldn't fly now- he was too inexperienced, he'd leave behind too much wind and noise. He didn't know how advanced they were in their abilities, but they might have been able to trace him back. Then what? He breathed in slowly, trying to not gag from the overwhelming fishy smell. He began to crawl toward the door, when the voices came even closer. He froze and pressed himself behind the counter, praying they didn't come back and see him.

"So you keep your fresh fish back here? Mind if we take a look?" Leo got shivers down his spine. That was his dad. And he wasn't supposed to find out they were trailing him: he told them not to do this, not to go back to the past. He'd insisted, something strangely persistant in his voice. They'd agreed then, but when he left they did it anyway. They only needed to protect them while Baby and Cas couldn't, just a few more months. Dean didn't need to know they were here.

Leo heard footsteps into the room when he decided he needed to bolt. He barely got a glimpse of his dad's face before he quickly flew away. He looked startled, but what Leo found most peculiar was how _young_ he looked. He hadn't gotten a clear view of him from before when his face had been bashed in and it was dark, and it was strange seeing him for that tenth of a second. He hoped he hadn't spotted him, they needed to stay out of his view.

Leo tumbled to the ground, picking himself up and feeling faint for a second. He'd undershot and fallen in the middle of the parking lot. He brushed himself off before heading to the motel's registration, where they sold small energy bars, fruits or tiny cereal boxes. His stomach grumbled and he strode up to the desk.

"Apple Jacks, please." He said politely, and the woman wrinkled her nose but turned to get it for him. He'd forgotten he still smelled like raw fish. He dug out his wallet and opened it up. He glanced down at the pictures he kept in it and had to smile, even though he wasn't in the best mood this morning (being kept up all night and going elbows deep into slimy fish caracasses wasn't exactly ideal), but they never failed to make him smile

He looked at his favorite picture; him and Robbie in the bath when they were babies. The picture was slightly blurry, like it had been taken hastily. Puddles of water shone from the ground, as Robbie had a big toothless smile as Leo spotted himself, a tiny turtle bobbing among the bathwater, tickling the baby's fat little arm that was frozen in the motion of splashing the water. He smiled at this one. He loved this photo, he felt like it described his life all in just one visual.

Dean was looking up at the camera, clearing not expecting a photo to be taken, an overwhelmed and surprised look in his eyes. Leo could just barely make out his dad's scars on his back from through his wet t-shirt. Leo always thought his back was the most interesting thing about his dad, and he could just make out the thick, white vertical lines that ran along his shoulder blades, from his wings. That was the only scar that he knew the real story behind. The other two, he still didn't know what they were from. But those two were his favorite.

He squinted to make out the raised reddish-pink burn, a perfect handprint by his shoulder, as well as that hauntingly beautiful red scar, the ghost of blazing wingtip that covered all of his back , each feather scorched delicately into his skin.

He was taken back to his memory from a long time ago, he must have been around six. He'd been tracing the scar lightly with his fingertips one day, it had been one of his dad's 'sad' days, and he knew that meant he and Robbie had to be on their best behavior. It was the morning after a particularly bad full moon, and Dean had pulled them both out from school, Robbie was too sick to go and Leo refused to go by himself.

It was nine o' clock on a bright weekday morning, and all three of them lay on Dean's bed. Sam was supposed to return with a cow heart soon, but it had been almost an hour. Dean curled around the sickly Robbie, exposing his back out for Leo to marvel at as Dean gently smoothed down Robbie's damp hair, trying his best to make him feel better. He hadn't spoken since Sam left. Sometimes his dad got in these moods, he seemed even sadder than someone who was crying.

Leo tried to stay silent and well-behaved, but he soon got bored. He looked at the beautifully mysterious scars carved on his dad's back, and he cautiously went up to touch them with his tiny hand. When there was no response, he traced the scar-feathers with a small finger, red prints perfectly preserved in his skin like a wing had been pressed to clay. He ran his fingers along the outlines of the handprint and placed his hand on top of it. His hand was so tiny in comparison. He traced the white lines that looked like a pause symbol, these looked more normal than the unaturally perfect feather prints. Leo finally asked what they were from, but he never got an answer. His dad could be so mysterious sometimes. There was still so much he didn't know about him, things he hid from both of them.

He slipped from his memory and payed out a dollar and exchanged it for the box of cereal, heading back to the room.

"Hey, Bob!" Leo called out, bouncing roughly onto the bed and wrapping the clumps of covers into a big hug, Robbie in the center of them.

"I told you to never call me that. And you stink, Lee. Geez, you smell like shit!" Robbie said in a muffled voice, pulling away and trying to get away from the smell. He thought he'd gotten away when he felt a very soft object ram into his cheek, a purr rumbling in his ear. The pure white cat rammed its cheek onto him again, purring loudly.

_Get up, lazy ass_. Leo spoke through their bond, laughing somewhat.

Robbie stuck his arm through the covers, giving his brother the finger as he nuzzled deeper into the covers. Suddenly he found himself being pushed from the bed roughly, the purring had grown deeper and louder, and he flailed as he was shoved off the bed entirely and bumped to the floor, clinging to sheets that hadn't helped break his fall.

"Leoniel, you asshole!" He said, standing up and seeing a large bengal tiger on the bed, his striped tail undulating as he looked at him almost cheekily. Leo melted into place a second later, grinning up at him with a bitchface, swinging his legs to the same beat his tail had been moving seconds before.

"C'mon, let's eat already. I'm starving."

The two sat on opposite sides on the tiny round white table, not saying much as Leo ate his cereal from the box, and Robbie began to eat his fish hearts. Right after his first bite he looked so much better, color returning to his cheeks and his eyes growing bright again from their sickly glassy-eyed look.

Leo could tell something was up right away as he poked around on his plate, a dark look in his eye. He finally set his fork down slowly, and looked up to Leo with heartbroken green eyes. He didn't have to say anything for Leo to know what he was thinking.

"What if dad meets us? What if...what if he doesn't think this is okay? What if he sees that I'm this..this monster, and he.."

Leo quickly set his cereal box down and threw his arms around Robbie's neck. "If we do get caught, RJ, I promise he's going to love you. Just like normal."

"Sometimes I think...no, sometimes I know he hates it. You, he's fine with. But Leo, look at me. I'm a complete wreck two days out of the month, and could get triggered any day, and then I have to eat this..." His voice began to get watery in Leo's ear. "He'd hunt me, Lee. It's too far to need hearts, too far into monster territory."

Leo didn't let go for a while, and even though Robbie was unresponsive, he could tell he needed this. "No, Robbie. That's not true. You're a good person, that's all that matters." He pulled away and began scraping the rest of his soggy cereal into his mouth. "You know, just think of it like it's sushi."

Robbie grinned at him and took another small bite. "Thanks, Lee. You've been really good with, you know." Leo beamed. He usually was treated like a little brother, like he was the one who needed to be protected, he was always being toted around as he probably would never be good at flying, and now to hear he was doing a good job- it made him happy.

* * *

Dean's eyes met the dark blue for just a split second before the kid he saw vanished. "Sam! Did you see that?" He barked out quickly, blinking his eyes, surprised, as he stared at the blank space that another human being had been just seconds ago.

"No, but I heard it." He said, knitting his eyebrows together. "It sounded like an angel."

"But what- what were they doing here?" Dean couldn't shake the feeling that he'd seen that kid before. His face looked so familiar...

He quickly went up to an out-of-place fish that was sliced clean open. He opened it up, wrinkling his nose. "Sam, the heart. It's gone." He said, baffled. "Are you sure it was an angel?"

Sam lifted the half from the other fish and saw the same thing. "He had a blade, I'm pretty sure."

"I thought we were dealing with a vamp nest! Why would an angel be collecting hearts? The only thing that needs hearts are werewolves."

"No idea." Sam looked just as confused. "Look, you said you needed to focus on a hunt. Let's just focus on these vamps, then we'll see if anything else happens in this town. He might have been just collecting ingredients for a spell or something."

Dean pressed his lips together and looked at the gaping hole in the fish's body. He had a strange hunch that it wasn't an angel getting ingredients for a spell. He knew that kid's face, he knew he'd seen him before.

"Yeah, okay." He finally agreed, pushing through the hanging plastic strips.

"Most signs point to the nest being in the forest. There aren't too many vamps left, so we're only dealing with the toughest nails now."

"I knew that."

"I'm just saying, you'll need to be focused." Sam had a strange sort of accusation in his voice.

"What are you saying?" Dean snipped back.

"Whatever you think any of these occurances are, Dean, it's probably not. You can't keep believing in something that's not true."

"Sam, I've seen him before! I know I have!" He insisted, and instantly felt angry when Sam looked at him with a strange expression.

"This is what I mean. Dean, you're not exactly at prime mental functioning." Dean arched his eyebrow in disbelief. "_Excuse me?_"

"Just let it go, okay? You're psyching yourself out, you're worrying about nothing. I should know, of all people. Let's just go gank these vamps and be done with it, okay?"

Dean narrowed his eyes, thinking. "Okay." He agreed, happy to get out of that marketplace, he was ready to save some people and hunt some things. Maybe Sam was right, he needed to let hi nagging doubts go. Maybe he wasn't as stable as he thought he was. But he could have sworn that was the same kid from the movie theature. He could have sworn he'd seen him even before that. Running into flames, teleporting, collecting hearts... _who was he?_

* * *

_Hello! I hope you like the direction this is going. I just had this idea that I haven't seen anyone else do before (the show had Dean have an Amazon as his kid but that only lasted an episode) and I've fallen in love with the idea of Dean's very deeply ingrained morals being challanged by his kids, and maybe change his mindset. _

_I also see few fics that show the kids after they're born. Leo and Robbie have very distinct characters that I will delve even deeper into in the next chapters, and because they are from the future, a few of the things they hint at are foreshadows and will described in full and tied in in later chapter (like the unexplained scar)._

_If you'd like me to continue please review! I'd love suggestions, because I'd love to flesh this out a little more so I can make it a little longer than what I have in my head now. Ideas are love, they get my mind rolling! Don't be shy, not matter how obscure. Feedback is just as great! I love hearing from you guys, even if its a few words :) _

_Thank you for revieiwing Supervillegirl, and thanks for following Entsun! _


	12. The Wolf and the 'Walker

Sam and Dean stood on the outskirts of a dark, misty forest. Their car was parked nearby, and they both looked on at the fingers of mist that combed through the trees and swirled into a whitish-grey, tree trunks fading and disappearing into the nothingness.

"Well, isn't this just picture perfect?" Dean cracked a joke as they stood side by side, staring into the ominous trees. "Straight out of a godamn movie."

Sam seemed to be thinking deeply as he held an axe over his shoulder, ready to clear out the whole nest. Dean could tell easily that he was scanning again, however he did that. He needed to learn that soon, it could be pretty damn useful.

"They're smart enough to know that they can't keep their nest in a building anymore, it's too easy for hunters to spot. If we're quick, we might be able to get all of them. They're sleeping, they're under a black tarp to block out the light and in hammocks."

"Alright, what are we waiting for?" Dean said, bringing his blade into his hand and starting to make large steps down the gulch toward the treeline. Sam shrugged and followed, watching as the mists swirled around Dean's legs at every step he took.

...

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh god..." Leo was repeating under his breath, his eyebrows knit together as he wrung his hands together and looked nervously out the window.

"We'll get there in time, Lee! Quit it!" Robbie spoke up, irritated. They were somewhat behind Dean and Sam, as they hadn't set out early like normal, they'd gone around nine o'clock instead of a bright and early five.

"They're going into a nest of vampires all by themselves, RJ..." He bit his lips together nervously.

"We'll get there!" Robbie shot back again, pressing the pedal down even more. He almost skidded out of control as he slammed on the brakes, they'd spotted the Impala parked alongside the road.

They parked about a mile away and hid the car under some tree branches. Wordlessly, Robbie grabbed Leo's arm and they appeared right next to the Impala. Without hesitation, they both began striding side by side down the ditch, Robbie began peeling off to the right.

"Don't you dare look." Robbie warned his brother in a low voice.

"I won't. I promise." Leo replied, as he turned his head away. There was a loud ripping noise and a growl, and a suddenly very loud crunching of leaves as huge footfalls crunched the dead leaves. Leo felt a hot breath on the side of his face, and finally turned to look. He met the sharp green eyes of an enormous grey wolf, its head was probably the size of Leo's entire torso. It slinked up to him easily, placing each gigantic paw lightly on the forest floor. Leo reached out and gently smoothed down the thick, wiry hairs by his neck. The wolf breathed out heavily, its thick breath swirling into the air.

"Just keep in control, okay? I know you can." Leo said gingerly, smoothing his hand down the grey fur to its shoulder. A low growl rumbled in the bottom of his throat; being in this form made him antsy and easily irritated, with what felt like an immeasurable adrenaline rush, he needed to run and move and maybe rip some vampire heads off. It wasn't easy staying in one place.

"Tell me when you find them." He said quickly, patting the wolf's shoulder reassuringly. Then Robbie was off, bounding quickly on powerful legs with fluid motion. Leo whipped his angel blade out, quickly following in his footsteps.

He heard sounds of a struggle and veered off the path, rushing toward the noise. Leo hid himself as he observed the last beheading by Sam, who was panting and looking around, searching desperately. He had flecks of blood on his face, his axe was splattered. "Dean!" He called out, growing fear in his eyes. Where was he? They'd been separated in the chaos, and now he was nowhere to be seen.

Leo was about to set off to look for him when he was tackled from behind and thrown into a tree. He searched for his blade, but the vampire who had pinned him had it in its grip.

"You really should keep a tighter grip on your weapons there, boy." He sneered, playing with the blade in the light. "This here's real pretty, idn't it? Too bad I know what this is, _angel_." Leo ripped his arm up and gripped the man's throat tightly. Instead of looking scared, he started laughing. Leo could feel the vibrations under his palm as he tried to concentrate, narrowing his eyebrows.

"You gonna rip my head off with one hand? Why don't you try? I'll give you a three second head start before you'll get a stomach full of your own metal."

Leo didn't need three seconds. He felt the heat pour into his palm as he heard a familiar crackle, like the pops in a fire. Leo's skin on his hands began to turn a light, ashy grey, and it had a papery texture like a cigarette or super hot coals. The texture spread slowly to the vampire's throat, who now looked panicked. Leo pushed for the burning to spread faster, the papery texture and grey color spreading down to his lower arm as his fingertips began to glow a fiery reddish-orange.

The vampire's grip on him slackened, and Leo roughly shoved him off. He gripped the head by the ears and jerked upwards, and it separated with a cackle as embers flitted and died in the air. He felt woozy as he dropped the head and leaned into a nearby tree trunk, his palm singeing the wood as he took in deep breaths. He tried to quickly collect himself and shoved off the trunk, he left behind a dark black handprint. For some reason, any phoenix activity took so much out of him. For once, it was the same for Robbie as well.

He tried hard to calm down the fiery skin, but he only got as far as dimming the red glow and receding the texture only slightly down his lower arm. He panted and gripped his blade (extremely tightly this time, just to be sure) as he tried to sense were everyone had gone.

_Lee_.

There came Robbie's voice in his head, it was deep and growly, so Leo could tell his brother was still in his wolfish form.

_I found dad. It looks bad, I'm going in. I'll find you afterwards. _Leo had no need to reply, his tone had been steady and commanding. There would be no arguing. Leo didn't especially like to work with Robbie when he was wolfed out, but he'd been slowly getting better, getting calmer and more in control, and sometimes it was simply the best option.

_Be careful. _Leo replied simply. Robbie wouldn't be much of a conversationalist at the moment, but he wanted him to know that sometimes, he needed to look out for himself too, not just others.

...

Dean was taken completely by surprise as he was thrown and tackled hard into a tree trunk, the wood cracking as it splintered. He grabbed for his blade and felt his stomach drop when he realized it wasn't there. He darted his eyes and saw it lying there on the ground, not too far out of reach. Godammit, he'd dropped it at the unexpected shove. Maybe if he tried, he could get it over with telekenisis or something...

His heart squeezed when he saw someone else pick it up; one of the vampires. He was pushed by the throat even harder into the tree, wheezing to breathe, scrabbling at the arm that held him in place.

"Looking for this?" The she-vampire taunted, twirling the blade easily in her hands like a plaything.

"Well, well? What do we have here? An angel?" The man who had him pinned to the tree sneered. "We've seen it all, believe me. We're a dying breed- just the tough ones are left. Survival of the fittest, bitch." He said, pressing him into the tree and and hissing his words at him through gritted teeth, his face just inches away. Dean felt his stomach turn as he could feel those impure fingers touching his blade.

"We've seen angels. We also know exactly how to kill them." He sneered again, holding his hand out for the woman to put the blade in. Dean's eyes widened and he struggled to get away. He squeezed his eyes shut as the vampire curled his fingers around it, an evil smile curled on his lips and a cold fire in his eyes. He braced himself for a stomach full of pain. This was it. To his surprise, nothing happened. The arms were ripped away from him, and he heard the woman's scream pierce the air. He quickly opened his eyes and gripped his blade again, snatching it up from where it lay in the dirt, and quickly flicking his eyes up to see how he was even alive right now.

There was a gigantic grey and white wolf, its back probably would reach up to Dean's shoulders, and its fur was patterned with long hairs of black, white and every shade of grey inbetween. It had barreled into the male vampire, and he was now pinned down under its massive paws, which were the size of dinner plates. It was snarling deeply, its nose wrinkling and showing its massive white teeth. With a quick lunge of his head he growled and whipped his head around like a dog with a chew toy, and the head went rolling away.

Dean watched in amazement as the wolf slightly turned his massive head to look at him, and he only saw the profile as the great creature panted, vampire blood dripping from his lips and staining his teeth. His sharp eyes flicked to look at him for only a second; the highly intellegent-looking eyes were _green_?

The creature lunged on its powerful haunches, bounding and quickly catching up to the woman vamp who was sprinting away as fast as she could. Dean watched in amazement as he tackled her down and did the same, biting and ripping the head off with hardly any resistance. It was getting harder and harder to see the creature through the thick mist, but he could have sworn he saw the large shape shrink down into a smaller, more human shape as he ran...

"Dean! What the hell are you staring at?! Let's go, they're getting away!" Sam startled him by clapping him on the shoulders. Dean looked again quickly, but nothing was there.

"Did you see it? That wolf- it just saved my life!" He started, but Sam was already starting to quickly make his way through the trees, a highly splattered axe thrown over his shoulder. Dean pumped his legs to catch up, he couldn't shake that look the wolf had given him. Like it knew something, something he didn't.

Everything went so quickly as they ambushed another small group of vampires, and Dean struggled to fight against them as they threw themselves at them, the two of them clashing viciously. He'd barreled through most of them, Sam was fighting off the last one.

There was a loud crunching of leaves as Dean quickly whipped his head up to look.

"They're getting away!" Sam yelled, as they both strained to see the two people who were sprinting up a ridge, a trail that lead up a hilly part of the forest, the two sprinting humans were partially hidden by the trees. Sam swung at the last vamp, quickly beheading him. "Dean!"

He couldn't let two of these vampires get away, they were top-notch, and they'd probably never get them if they got away now. Dean leveled his gun, saw another strobe of the running men through the trees, and took the shot. The crack rang through the forest, and he'd met the mark. He saw the man instantly fall down and tumble down the ridge. The other didn't even hesitate to follow him.

They exchanged glances and began to sprint toward that direction, Sam had his axe at the ready, wanting to finish off the last of the nest.

...

Leo felt his heart squeeze painfully as he saw his brother simply collapse in front of him, his legs buckling from under him as they sprinted, his body disappeared over the ridge.

"Robbie!" He felt the name rip through his throat as he sprinted after him, almost rolling down himself as the hill was steep, and vines and leaves kept on tugging at his flying feet.

He stumbled to stop at where Robbie was lying, breathing heavily as he lay on his side. Leo quickly assessed the damage; he'd been hit in the leg, a few inches above his knee, and blood was already blooming on his jeans. He was gritting his teeth, and had sunk his hand into the ground, clawing onto the soil with an iron grip.

"Lee..." He managed to say, and his body went through a violent shake. He hissed out a breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

_Oh no_. Leo thought. _Oh, god. He's being triggered._

He instantly dropped to his knees and gently took his brother's face in his hands, looking right into his eyes. Robbie looked up pitifully, grimacing deeply again as his body went through another wave of tension.

"Look at me. RJ, look at me." He commanded, as Robbie began to get a glassy-eyed look in his green eyes. "You don't have to do this. I'm right here, I'll protect you. You have to fight it, you can do it. You've done it before." He closed his eyes, his body raking with shudders. He breathed raggedly, he brought his hand up and gripped his brother's tightly, doing everything he could to fight it off. He looked like he might have been able to, until there was the loud crunching of leaves and crashing through the brush.

Robbie suddenly tore his hand from Leo's as his body ripped and exploded into that of a huge, gray wolf, going into protection mode, the kind that he had no control over.

"No!" Leo screamed, leaping up and wrapping his arms quickly around the gigantic snout, just as Sam and Dean sprinted into view. He pushed down with all his body weight, somehow able to pin the snout to the ground with his whole chest. The wolf squirmed against him, Leo was restraining him by a hair as he dug his massive paws into the soil and was trying to pull away, growing deeply as his nose wrinkled menacingly in deep folds along the sides.

Leo glanced up quickly when he heard the cocking of a gun. Dean held it outstretched, a terribly scary look on his face.

Dean recognized the kid right when he saw him. He'd heard him scream his no and recalled the voice right away, the rough, boyish voice from the movie theater, and now he saw his face, the person he'd got just a split second view of down in the marketplace. The teenager looked up at him with pitiful eyes, he was doing everything he could to restrain the gigantic wolf he barely had a hold on. He had golden-blonde hair that was straight and somewhat short, and a splash of freckles dotted his cheeks and nose. He had a kind-looking face, with gently sloping light-colored eyebrows and a ski-slope little nose. Dean felt like he had to have known him from somewhere, or at least a relative. Something about his features seemed so familiar.

The kid looked scared out of his mind. Dean almost felt a little bad about shooting his friend. This kid just had these big, burning blue eyes, they looked so pitiful as he seemed unpleasantly surprised, as he struggled with the huge wolf.

"I saw you in that movie theater, and again at the market! Who are you? Why are you following us?" Dean demanded coldly, pointing the gun at him. The kid said nothing, gritting his teeth at a particularly harsh shove from the wolf.

"Okay? Fine." Dean swung the gun to point it at the squirming wolf, and the boy's face fell into utter terror.

"Don't." He barely was able to strain to say, and Dean came closer and closer to squeezing the trigger.

"Tell me who you are!" Dean demanded, shaking his gun threateningly. The teenager suddenly lost his grip on the wolf as it finally was able to wiggle from his grasp. The gigantic creature had turned toward them with a powerful, fluid motion, and was bounding toward them with one huge leap.

Dean almost unconsciously pulled the trigger. "No!" Leo screamed, bringing his hands up with a jerk, as if he was protecting himself. The shot rang out through the forest, but the bullet had hit of sort of whitish clear wall, ricocheting and going somewhere else. The blonde kid launched himself at the charging wolf, pulling him into a tackle and they both vanished with a great swirl of air that lilted some of the dead leaves. Dean looked at the blank space in shock, his face dropping. He exchanged a shocked glance with Sam.

* * *

Leo hit the concrete street hard, tumbling to a stop. Sometimes he could make do with being a god-awful flier, but now wasn't one of those times.

He tried to stand as he felt his stomach spin and church unpleasantly, and he groaned. Dammit, why did he always feel so sick when he carried someone else? He felt the blood drain from his face when he remembered. Robbie. He clambered to his feet and began to break into a clumsy sprint, he felt genuine fear stir up in his stomach.

He was slammed into full force by what felt like a furry thousand-pound wall. He brought his arms up as he tumbled forward and landed on his back, protecting his chest as the wolf began to lunge at it, trying to get at his delicious, irresistible heart. He heard huge, white teeth snapping as he shoved the massive wet nose away violently.

There were two 'types' of beast that Robbie turned into; the one that was under control, just a somewhat more gruff and irritable version of himself, and then this. This was the creature who was so animalistic and wild, and bore no resemblance to Robbie whatsoever. It had only come out a few times in the past, getting triggered through a combination of pain and panic, flipping a switch into an extreme protection mode that could go wrong when the threat was removed, like now.

"RJ! Please, I know you're in there!" Leoniel pleaded, crying out as teeth sunk into his lower arm. He kept shoving the head away from him, pushing with all his strength, trying to protect his chest as his arms sometimes got caught in between the snapping jaws. "Robbie, you can do this!" Tears has started to stream down his cheeks from the pain as his arms got more and more shredded.

Suddenly, there was a low whimper and the great grey head lowered, and the creature dipped his head in shame as he backed away, collapsing onto the ground. His form quickly dropped into that of a dark-haired human, splayed onto the ground with his ear to the earth.

He pulled his chest up shakily by his arms, and his face fell when he saw Leo shying away in terror, tears streaming down his face as he tenderly held his wrecked arms.

Robbie's eyes widened as he realized. "Oh my god, Leo, I-" he was overcome with guilt and overwhelming physical sickness as he curled his back, retching and throwing up mostly bile.

Leo reached out with a shaking arm covered with puncture holes and smoothed down his brother's jet-black hair. Robbie looked up at him slowly with pain and self-hatred pouring from his light green eyes.

Leo silently pulled out a handkerchief and lightly began to wipe away the blood that dripped from his brother's mouth, a cumulation of vampire blood, and his own blood. Robbie couldn't even look at him as he looked off to the side, tears dribbling from his eyes as he contemplated what he had just done.

"I'm so sorry," He whispered, slowly shutting his eyes. Leo softly pulled him into a hug, and Robbie began to hiccup with soft sobs.

"You can't help what you are. And without it..you wouldn't have been able to save dad."

Robbie was silent as Leo felt tiny drips fall onto his shoulder. "Dad's really trying to find who did this to us. He's trying so hard to find a cure, RJ, all of them are." Leo said softy, and Robbie pulled away, looking away and dragging the back of his hand over his leaky eyes. "I know," He said waterily. They both sat in silence for a moment, both trying to calm down and slow their heart rates.

"Let's get out of here?" Leo asked, and Robbie grabbed his arm casually, he was very used to toting his brother around, who just couldn't quite grasp the concept of being a smooth flyer. He did trump Robbie in the aspect of time travel, however. Leo was able to narrow the time down to minutes even when the trip was as long as seventeen years.

They appeared next to their pick up truck, and Robbie quickly unhooked and rolled off the cover to reveal their crudely fashioned sleeping arrangements; two twisted and wrinkled sleepingbags were shoved into the truckbed, along with one threadbare mexican blanket. They both wearily climbed in, Leo collapsed on top of the blankets and shut his eyes, a little bit woozy from all the flying. His arms still really hurt.

"I'm seventeen years old, Leoniel. I should be able to have a godamn hold on this already." He said angrily, wiping his eyes again, frowning at himself. He silently took Leoniel's arms and tried his best to heal them. They were both only part-angel, so they lacked a few skills that pure angels possessed. Only Leo could summon his blade, and Robbie used the demon knife that his father passed on to him. Robbie was better at healing, but they could both only do it partially.

"That's not true." Leo assured him, pulling his semi-healed arms to be under the blanket with him. "You haven't gone IV in a really long time, and I'm proud of you." Robbie felt sick just hearing him say that. IV. Involuntary, the little acronym Leo came up with to make it sound less worse. He was _proud_ of him? "How can you say that?" Robbie shot back in a watery voice.

"You were _shot_, RJ. If that doesn't get a response, I don't know what will." That reminded him.

Leo crawled out of bed and leaned over Robbie's extended leg, ripping open the fabric with a jerk. He let out a hiss, and Leo peered at the deep hole in his skin. "You okay?" He asked, and the teenager nodded, closing his eyes.

"He was _scary_, Robbie. I mean, really, really scary." Leo said quietly.

"He warned us that he'd be like that." Robbie replied simply, still gritting his teeth from the pain.

"I didn't know he'd be like that. It's gonna be hard taking care of him, huh?" Leo said, peering back at the wound in his leg.

"Leo, stop with the chit chat! Pull this out already, bitchtits!" He said, smiling slightly. Leo grinned at rolled his eyes. He melted quickly into another form-a long-beaked bird- and quickly pulled out the bullet as Robbie gritted his teeth and air hissed from his mouth. Leo spat out the bullet in between his teeth and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Robbie relaxed and the wound semi-healed, getting a bit shallower as white skin covered the raw. He sighed and curled up onto a corner of the truckbed, resting his head on the side. "I'm so sorry, Leo." He said again waterily as he looked like he was trying to shove himself into the corner, wrapping himself into a tiny hug.

There was a silence as Leoniel snuggled back into his sleeping bag. He finally needed to speak up and ask what was on his mind: he knew his brother wouldn't have fallen asleep. He always did this to deal with his guilt; he'd separate himself and simply reflect on everything, staying awake for possibly the whole night.

"RJ?" He asked quietly. "Hmm?" His brother replied, shivering in the cold but making no move to crawl into his own sleeping bag.

"Do you ever hate me for getting to be the skinwalker?" Leo asked, feeling tears prickle into his eyes.

"Of course not." Robbie replied quickly, he was genuine. He wondered why his brother had asked that.

"Because I do. I hate to see you go through this suffering, the IV, the full moons ... I wish..." He felt a warm tear slip sideways over the bridge of his nose and down his cheek. "I wish it had been me. I'd trade, RJ, if I could." Robbie stiffened as he said this. He didn't really think that, did he?

"Aw, hell. Leo, don't say that." He said quietly, and Leo sighed shakily. There was a long silence as Robbie let what had been said sink in. He never knew he felt that way, that he would do that for him.

"Please," Leo sniffed. "Please just get in your bag."

Robbie finally came out from his curled position in the corner and came and slipped into his sleeping bag. He wasn't doing it for himself, but because Leo had asked. He would have tried to stay awake all night as he thought about what he'd done. How he hated that part of himself: he had hurt people before, and he'd almost killed his own brother today. He had acquired somewhat of a grasp on it, but when he was triggered like this...he shuddered. He had no control. And he'd wanted to eat Leo's heart. He wiped away an angry tear from his eye, not wanting Leo to see, even though his brother already knew that he suffered mentally about it.

"It's kind of scary being here. No one knows who we are. Hell..." Leo spoke up quietly, nuzzling down into his covers. "How much longer do we have to protect dad? How long until...until we're born?"

"Just two more months, Lee." Robbie replied, being careful to try and make it sound like he hadn't been crying. Leo was mostly just happy he'd gotten him to stop sulking and he'd finally crawled into his sleeping bag.

"Dad and Uncle Sammy are a handful." Leo said with a yawn, closing his eyes.

"I know. It'll be okay." Robbie closed his eyes too. His sleeping bag was so cozy- he was glad he hadn't forced himself to stay awake in the cold this time. Leo probably wouldn't have let him, anyway.

"Night, RJ." Leo whispered, snuggling into his bag.

"Night." It took a while for Robbie to fall asleep. He didn't know what they were doing, what else they'd have to face. Damn, his leg hurt. At least they had each other. He didn't know where he'd be without Leo; probably dead. His brother had been the only other one he could relate to with their misfortune, their weird hybrid bodies. He'd always been there to reassure him, to pull him back when he went IV, helping him when he'd start to hate himself, telling him it was okay. He loved him so much. He couldn't believe how close he'd gotten to killing him.

He felt a little guilty as he felt his leg throb; his dad had specifically told them not to do this when he left to try and find the cure. He understood now, he couldn't change the fact that he hurt them, and he didn't want them to come back and have that happen. Robbie knew their dad could somehow tell they'd done it anyway: he had seen them, even though they tried to stay out of view. Shit, would he catch them eventually? He didn't tell them anything about if he'd met them or not.

Robbie felt something irritating poking at him in the pocket of his jacket, maybe that was why he couldn't fall asleep. He pulled out what was in his pocket- it was a piece of folded up paper, the sharp edge had been poking into his chest.

He unfolded it gently and strained to read it in the dim light of the nearby streetlamp. He recognized his dad's handwriting right away.

"Rob- Don't get me wrong. I'm still pretty damn mad at you for not listening to me." Robbie rolled his eyes but grinned. He _would_ start his letter like that.

"You obviously came back to help me, and I'm not nearly as old and forgetful as you think I am. It's too late to stop you now, so I just have one thing to say. Please, keep yourselves safe. 'Past me' is a kind of a paranoid douchebag and won't hesitate to use a gun." _Too late_. Robbie thought to himself, his leg still hurt.

"All of us are trying to find the experimenters to who did this to you. I know we can find a cure, son. We're so close. I'm leaving it up to you to take care of Leo, and I know you can do that. Love you, even when you can be a little shit. ~Dad"

Robbie smiled and tucked the note back into his pocket in a more comfortable position. He looked at Leo's sleeping face, he looked so much younger and peaceful when he was sleeping. Even though they were the same exact age, Robbie had _always_ felt like he was the older one, the one who needed to protect Leo. He looked at the face he knew so well, his brother had been in the foreground of his life ever since he could remember. He was the only friend he had constant in his life as they hopped from school to school, apartment to apartment.

Of course he would take care of Leo. What else was he expected to do? He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but he felt cold as he shivered in his thin sleeping bag. He was beginning to drift off when he felt something extremely warm and soft wedge under his head and surround his shoulders. He wondered what in the world it could be, until he heard a loud rumbling purr from under his head. He opened his eyes slightly and saw orange-and-black striped fur, his head was resting on a tiger's belly.

He smiled and felt a gentle rough-textured tongue sweep reassuringly across his cheek. "You realize you're actually licking me when you do that, right? That's pretty weird and gross, Lee." He laughed, rubbing the moisture from his face. In reality, he'd really needed that. He'd been feeling so bitter about who he was nowadays, especially as all these promises that they'd find the cure came and went, and he was exhausted in believing in false promises.

_Oh, shut up._ Leo said good-naturedly into Robbie's head. Robbie smiled and nuzzled into the warm fur, finding himself much more comfortable and able to fall asleep now. Sometimes he felt utterly alone with his misfortune, and like no one could understand, no matter how hard they tried. But maybe, just maybe, Leo did understand. Just two more months to look after Dean and Sam as they ran around without regulation or protection from either Uncle Sol or Cas. At least they had each other.

* * *

"Sam, I _know_ I'm not just psyching myself out!" Dean insisted as the were walking to their motel room for the night. "I've seen that kid three times! Him and that other person, the werewolf,_ they've been following us_."

Sam unlocked the door and swung it open. "I think you're right, Dean. It makes sense with the missing fish hearts, the car I've been seeing.."

Dean knit his eyebrows together. "Car? What car?" He was amazed he hadn't told him.

"This black pick up truck, I've been seeing a lot of it in the past two weeks." He shuffled his hand along the wall to find the light switch.

"And you never mentioned it to me _why_?"

"I was going to, then you woke up and freaked the hell out and it kind of slipped my mind, okay?" Sam went on the defensive, and Dean was about to snip back a response when his eyes fell on a very familiar figure draped weakly in a chair in the middle of the room, and his angry words died in his throat.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Dean quickly asked, making his way toward the man, not liking the way he was weakly clinging too the chair, his head lowered in pain.

"Don't come near me." He warned in a low voice, but Dean had already come too close. He felt his stomach violently turn and he dropped too his knees, feeling hit with overwhelming sickness, like it was something in the air.

He scrambled backwards, instantly feeling better when he was out of range. "Jesus Christ, Bay! What is that?" Baby lifted his head slowly to look at them. His eyes were tired and dull, they looked sunken in as black rimmed the bottoms. His skin shone with a corpse-like quality, he looked like he'd been through the ringer. Dean felt his stomach drop as he saw thin, black branches climbing onto his cheek from his neck.

"Leviathan blood. I've been using it to interrogate Naomi... its effected me as well." He wiped his clammy face, looking defeated. "Naomi is dead. She really did tell me everything she knew- that didn't include a cure. The only thing is she told me it is possible to cure werewolves- an ancient spell, lost for many years, she said."

Dean and Sam looked on in disbelief. Did this mean Baby was going to die too?

"No, Dean. I'll be okay, I just need to detox for a few days. That's why I'm here; obviously I shouldn't be anywhere near Cas right now, not until I'm better. I'm going to need to leave him with you two. Earth isn't exactly ideal, but..." He ran his hand down his face. "Being with you two, he'll be safe. He isn't due for a few more months, don't worry about that. Just...make sure he's okay, that he's comfortable? Well, as comfortable as he can get in his current state."

Both Sam and Dean nodded slowly. Dean felt awful; Baby had tried so hard, he'd gone through all that, basically for nothing more than hearing that a cure for just one thing might possibly be out there. "Thank you, Baby. For everything." He meant it.

Baby looked up at him, he tried to smile just a little, and he vanished. Just a second later, there was a loud crash as Cas fell onto the single bed, groaning and turning over. He didn't look much better health wise from what Dean had seen previously. He hoped that was going to change, and soon.

* * *

_Hello! I have a lot planned in the next few chaps, but I hope you enjoyed this one! Thank you iiHana & winchestergirl47 for your follows! Thanks for the wonderful reviews The Firesinger and winchestergirl47! Please review, tell me what you think :)_


	13. Nest

Dean slowly was waking up, and he could tell it was a little bit later in the day; he hadn't slept that soundly in a long time. He actually felt well-rested for once, and that was pretty damn nice.

He noticed that there was an arm lightly thrown over his chest, someones head was resting on his shoulder. He sighed happily and brought her in closer. Nothing like waking up with a beautiful woman at his side in the morning. She felt a little skinny though, that wasn't usually his type.

Wait.

He didn't remember banging someone last night. In fact, he'd gone to sleep in the bathtub, hadn't he? So how did he wind up here?

He realized through his half-asleep mind that this couldn't be a woman; this was Cas. _Even better_. The thought seemed to come out of nowhere, just falling involuntarily into his head. His eyes flew open, and he met the image of a dark head of hair resting on his shoulder, his thin arm draped over his chest.

_No. No, nope. I did not just think that_. He quickly pulled away, and Cas brought his knuckles together slowly, groaning lightly as his head was slipped off his shoulder. He quickly bolted himself in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. No. No, no, no, that was not like him to think something like that. He ran the tap and splashed ice-cold water on his face. No.

Where the hell had that phrase even come from? Even better. "Psh." Dean scoffed. It was just because he was still half-asleep, that was it. The mind is unpredictable like that when its in sleepwaves or something. It didn't mean anything.

He looked into the bathtub, blankets shoved inside along with a single pillow. He remembered getting in a quick argument with Sam last night about if they should go down to the main desk and switch out for a room with two beds. Dean argued that it was late, and he didn't want to waste money, that he'd be perfectly fine in the tub.

He vaguely remembered his restless night sleeping in the bath; the blankets kept shifting around and he'd be pulled back awake by the ice-cold porcelain, then someone decided at god awful o' clock in the morning to take a shower, and the cheap connected systems had met with him a short burst of chilling water to the face. He'd tried to ignore it and fall asleep again, but then the faucet started dripping and puddling by his feet...

He hazily remembered clambering groggily out of the tub and slipping into the bed, he was too exhausted from the vampire hunt and the perplexing boys who'd been tailing them. Barely awake and just wanting to get away from the cold and wet, he'd slipped under the covers and fallen asleep almost instantly. Great. Now look where his inability to just suck it up had gotten him. He prayed to god Sam hadn't seen them, Cas on his shoulder like he usually kept his women. Oh, shit. He really, really hoped he hadn't seen them. He'd never hear the end of it.

All this was really freaking him out. He needed something to keep his hands and his mind busy, so he decided to spend a few minutes to shave his face. He tried to forget about it all as he became hyperactively aware of all his touch sensations: the water on his palms that clung to the small hairs on his chin and cheeks, the texture of the shaving cream as he rubbed it onto his cheeks and tried to focus on every sweep of his razor. He didn't want to think about that occurrence again. Like, ever again.

"Dean." He heard the muffled groan through the bathroom door.

"I'll be right there," he called out, shaving his chin slowly. He still had his other cheek left, and he wanted to enjoy his small distractions wherever he could take them.

"_Dean_." Cas insisted, more pointed this time. "I'm almost out, just give me a min-" There was suddenly a loud crash as Cas crashed into the bathroom, breaking the black and white tiles into a small crater and creating a small crack down the side of the tub. The towel rack dangled by one side, and some of the drywall had been scraped away by what Dean guessed has been his wings. He knew he'd guessed right when he saw a few disgruntled raven-black feathers littering the bathroom. It wasn't exactly the best time to ask about them however; the man had his head in the porcelain bowl and was retching loudly, his arms shaking as they gripped the sides of the toilet.

"Whoa, Cas. You okay?" Dean quickly knelt down in shock. Castiel lifted his head out slowly, Dean felt his stomach drop when he saw the water swirling with thick red.

"This hasn't happened for a long time...I think it occurs when I am on Earth only. The atmosphere here is so heavy and abrasive..." He answered softly, resting his cheek defeatedly on the lid as he closed his eyes.

"Baby's going to bring you back to heaven right when he gets better." Dean assured him quickly. Cas looked sad as he frowned slightly.

"Soloviel is a fool with a heart five times too big for his body. He was stupid to do that to himself, but that's why I love him." He sighed.

"He tried so hard, Cas." Dean felt awful. He pictured that defeated look in his eyes, the black branches climbing onto his face. He cared so much about all of them that he was willing to wreck himself for just a chance at a cure.

"You have something on your face, Dean." Cas said quietly.

Dean smiled sadly. Half his face was still covered in shaving cream. "I know. So do you." He noticed the stain of blood on one corner of his mouth and felt sickened by it. He grabbed a white hand towel and quickly wiped it away.

"Don't waste your energy coming into the bathroom, Cas. It's just a motel; bloody up the sheets or towels or whatever as much as you damn please. It doesn't matter." He said quietly, folding up the towel so that he didn't have to see the red.

"Okay." He answered in a tired voice. He didn't look like he was going anywhere anytime soon.

"What's with the feathers, Cas?" He decided to ask the question that was it itching at his mind. The man sighed softly as Dean plucked one from the sinktop, holding it by the stem and twirling it; the obsidian black shot out quick glimpses of purple and indigo.

"I accidently had my wings come into this dimension on my way over here. I'm too tired; I've been getting sloppy." He said, trying to avoid looking at the blood in the bowl of water. Dean quickly reached up and flushed, speaking up at the same time.

"So...what about mine?" He somewhat shuddered. Even though he'd been part-angel for a while now, it was still so strange to talk about this kind of thing with Cas. "Are they...in an alternate dimension or something? Can you see them?"

"Well, yes and no to both. They exist inside your vessel as part of your grace when you are at rest, like now. But you can pull them out momentarily to fly, which is when they are in an alternate dimension invisible to humans. Or, with baby angels there isn't much control. They can be pulled out in any fight-or-flight emotion; despair, anxiety, stress, panic..."

"So that's why I saw those shadows at the restaurant. I'd just learned about the food, hadn't I?"

"Yes. I'm sorry it caused you to faint."

Dean felt embarrassed when he brought that up again. He quickly spoke up, feeling his cheeks get a little warm. "So why did I see them in heaven? Or not here?"

"We don't need to hide them in heaven. It's very subconscious- the saline atmosphere of heaven lets us have them out all the time. If you did that on Earth, it would be exhausting. You might not be able to see them yet because of all the meddling they did, but you probably have been getting random strobes of insight, just nothing was there to see. When Baby brings me back, try to look for his." Cas seemed a little winded, but he liked talking to Dean like this. He hadn't seen him in so long. He liked to try and help him understand.

"When you pull your wings out, Dean, then I can see them, or I can concentrate hard enough to see them inside your body." Castiel smiled slightly, closing his eyelids slowly as he pressed his cheek to the porcelain. "Gold. Well, dark gold. Like Michael's." He breathed softly for a second. "It's very rare, Dean. They're beautiful."

Dean felt weirded out by the compliment. He decided he wasn't going to address it. He looked at Cas, who seemed like he wasn't going to be sick again, but he wasn't moving.

"Are you good? Think you're gonna spew again?" He didn't like to see him sitting here in the bathroom when he could be resting in a comfy bed. Baby told them to keep him comfortable, and he intended fully to do that.

"No." He said quietly. He opened his eyes, looking guilty. "Maybe."

"Well, you should rest. Can you stand?" He asked gently, but than regretted it. He couldn't use that tone of voice with him so often; he wasn't trying to send out the wrong message.

"No," He said guiltily, lowering his eyes as his arms shook. Dean felt his heart give a little squeeze.

"Okay, bud. _Hmmf_..." He tried to lift him and not move him too much as he lifted him into his arms. "No more moving or flying around until you feel stronger, capeesh?"

"I'm sorry." He replied quietly.

"Now, just rest up and I'm going to finish my shave." He said, gently placing him on the bed. He fell over, exhausted, and quickly closed his eyes. Dean was about to turn around when he spoke up.

"Dean." He said quietly, keeping his eyes closed. "Hmm?" He wanted to just get this damn shaving cream off his face already.

"I...never mind." He said quickly, pulling himself under the blankets and looking away.

"Cas, listen. I want to help, okay? You're _not_ being a burden. Not at all. Anything I can do, please. Tell me."

He closed his eyes, bringing the blankets under his chin. "I'm so cold." He said, sinking into the covers he already had and shivering.

"I'll grab you some blankets, okay?" What the hell, a minute wasn't going to make a difference. He went into the cupboard and grabbed two folded up blankets. That should be enough; it was in the middle of summer after all, he didn't want him to overheat.

He went to unfold them and throw them over the bed when he saw a small piece of memo paper at the foot of the bed. He picked it up and quickly threw the blankets over the bed, glancing down at the note as he walked toward the bathroom. It was Sam's handwriting, in which he quickly scrawled 'Went to breakfast. Back no later than ten.' Then, Dean's stomach squeezed when he saw that he'd included a small footnote at the very bottom that read '~P.S. not going to say anything.'

No.

No, no, no. This was not happening, not now. _Fuck_. He was so fucking embarrassed that his brother had seen him with Cas cuddling like godamn newlyweds, even though it _had_ been accidental. _Fuck, oh shit. I can't even look him in the eye._

He needed to talk to Sam, alone. Preferably once Baby took Cas back to heaven once he'd detoxed and felt better. He needed to convince him that in no way, shape or form was he in love with Cas. He couldn't bear to have his brother think that way about him. _Everything_ would change, and he didn't want that to happen.

Flustered, he went back to the bathroom, finally finishing his shave. He tried to just focus on his skin and the razor and the water, but it wasn't working this time, it wasn't distracting him. He splashed his face with water, sighed, and was patting it dry when he heard a peculiar sound. Chattering of teeth. He quickly went out of the bathroom and up to the bed, seeing that the blankets had been clumped up all around the sleeping man. Castiel was shivering under the covers, and his teeth were chattering.

"Cas, dummy, you're not going to get warm if you have your blankets all bunched up like this!" He scolded, quickly unbunching the blankets to be smooth, pulling them out over him again. He looked at him with wide blue eyes, he looked like a little kid with his first flu.

"Please. Please, I need more." He begged, shutting his eyes tightly. Dean went to feel if he had a fever, maybe he just had the chills. He lay his palm on his forehead softly; it was a little warm, but it felt okay. Then, it almost felt like his hand had a mind of its own as instead of just pulling his hand away, it slid upward and pushed back his hair. Cas looked up at him, confused.

He jerked his hand back as if he'd touched a hot stove. "I, uh, yeah, I'll get that for you right now." He quickly fired out, turning on his heel and rushing out the door to find the cleaning lady's cart and nab some more blankets.

His cheeks burned as he strode along the balcony. What was wrong with him? This shit needed to stop, right now.

He was making his way back to the room, his arms full of a stack of blankets, when he saw Sam making his way up the stairs. He spotted him too, and smiled and gave him a little half-wave. "What's with all the blankets?" He asked nonchalantly. I guess he really meant it when he said he wasn't going to say anything, Dean thought.

"Cas said he's cold. I don't get it; he's under five layers already!" Dean said, exasperated. Sam opened the door for him, and there was Cas, lying amid clumps of blankets.

"Okay, this is ridiculous." Dean went up and began to smooth out the blankets again. "No..." Castiel groaned, burying his face into one of the bunched up blankets. "Dean, stop." Sam spoke up, he sounded startled. Dean quickly looked behind him, and Sam was smiling sadly, his eyebrows lifting in his typical face like he was looking at puppies playing or something. He thought this was _cute_? "What?" He asked, taking his hands off the blankets and facing Sam.

"Can't you see what he's doing?" Sam asked, looking sad as he smiled. "He's building a nest, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked, it sounded so strange. He looked back at the clumps of blankets; they were in somewhat of a circular shape, and it wasn't finished. Sam gave Cas the stack of blankets, and he gave him a thankful glance. He began to work slowly, pushing the blanket to surround him, finally settling down in the little rumpled circle and closing his eyes. Dean shot Sam a look, and he just shrugged.

"This is uh...this is some nice nesting here, Cas." He said uncertainly. Why didn't he just tell him that's what he was doing in the first place?

"I didn't know that's what was happening, Dean. I just needed to do it." He said, snuggling into the blankets.

"What...why? Why now?" He asked, he didn't know if he really wanted to hear the answer as butterflies suddenly appeared in his stomach.

"I believe this means they will be here soon. " He said weakly.

"But there's still supposed to be three months left." He said in disbelief in a hollow voice. _Soon_? How soon, then?

"I didn't tell you, but..." He looked guiltily up at Dean. Dean's face fell, what was he hiding from him? He was tired of this. They were both equally responsible, and when he kept hiding things...

Cas tugged down a few buttons on his shirt, and Dean gasped as he spotted two dark bruises staining his skin on his chest, blooming like tie-die, one over his heart and one diagonal to that. It looked painful, like someone had taken a weapon and beat him hard.

"What is that, Cas? What's the matter?" Dean asked in panic. Were they dead? Was everything he'd gone through for nothing?

"They...they tried to surface early. But they were too small, Dean. They wouldn't have survived. Soloviel helped me to carry them for longer, but I don't know how long it will be..." He slowly opened his eyes, sadness was pouring from the dark blue. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Dean was overwhelmed, so there wasn't really a set date. Not anymore. Did that really mean that it could be_ any day_? He felt the butterflies ram hard on the walls of his stomach, his heart beating hard.

"Just...just stay healthy, okay? Just rest up. Sam, I need to talk to you." Dean said, looking straight into his brother's eyes.

"Okay, then talk." Sam said defiantly.

"We need to go for a walk or a drive or something." He said, annoyed that Sam blatantly ignored the fact that he'd meant that the first time he said they'd needed to talk. Alone.

"Will he be safe here?" Sam asked, lifting an eyebrow as he nodded to the man resting inside the short walls of rumpled blankets. Dean realized; they needed to stick with him until Baby came back, at least a few more days would have to pass before Sam and Dean could truly talk alone, at least one person would have to stay with him at all times.

"Okay. Later, Sam." He said, feeling frustrated. He needed to talk to him, he wanted to as soon as possible.

"As nice as that little nest is, Cas, we gotta pack it all up by tonight and hit the road." He said, feeling a little bad at his tone, but he couldn't be so sweet to him anymore. _No wrong ideas, remember_?

"Dean, I don't think so." Sam was quick to answer, something in his tone was scolding him for the rough tone he'd used. "If they're on the way soon; I say we stop hunting for now. We don't want any loose ends when they're born, right? We can just stay here. It's fine."

Dean was even more annoyed when he realized how right Sam was. If a hunt went wrong this close to them being born, that could be dangerous. And they actually weren't in much of a rush to go anywhere. This was a problem, because Dean felt extremely antsy now after everything that had happened in the past few hours.

"Fine. But I want a new room, with two beds." He said pointedly. He hoped Sam had seen the miserable bathtub conditions and had pieced together why he'd left it for the bed, that everything had been unintentional. Because it had been.

The next five days had been miserable for Dean. He was in the perfect mood to go on a nice hunt, he needed to let some of the things built up in his chest out, but he couldn't. He still helped Cas, but that was it. He did the bare minimum, helping him when he asked, but never going out of his way to comfort him. He stopped using that gentle tone of voice.

Both Sam and Cas noticed. Sam seemed disappointed in him, Cas noticed but didn't say or act any differently. Dean was trying hard to undo any presumptions made about him, and he didn't care that both of them were disappointed in him. He would not let Sam or Cas believe that there was something there. Because there wasn't.

Baby finally came in the morning after the fifth night. He dropped into the room easily on light feet, no crashing or anything. He looked so much better; the color had returned to his face, his eyes were shining keenly with his typical grin stretched on his face. Dean couldn't have been happier to see him.

Baby quickly strode over to Cas's bed and put a hand to his forehead. "You don't have a fever anymore, Cas. That's really good." He declared happily, and he ran his fingers over his wall of blankets. "So you made this, huh?" He seemed nervous. "What was going through your head?"

Cas rolled onto his side and buried his face into a nearby blanket. Dean saw just the tiniest creep of pink on his cheeks. He was embarrassed, that he didn't know why things were happening to him. "I don't know. I just needed blankets, and it just happened like this." He said in a muffled voice.

"I think...Sol, I think they're coming soon." He turned to look at him with panicked eyes. "Nothing about this is normal, and when they tried to surface early..." He screwed up his face just remembering. "It was excruciating." Baby gave his shoulder a small rub. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Dean, I'm so afraid." Cas spoke up softly, tears coming through his voice. Dean regretted how much his chest squeezed at the words. He wanted to just climb into that little ring of blankets and hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, tell him he was going to be there every step of the way. _Stop. You don't feel that way for him, Dean. _There was that snarky little voice in his head, saving him from crippling shame.

"You'll be okay, Cas." He said quietly, the only comfort he gave him was a small rub on his shoulder instead.

"You're looking pretty good, Bay." Dean said quickly, eager to change the subject. He was glad he couldn't see those poisoned black veins on his face anymore, he looked almost back to normal.

"You're not too hard on the eyes either," Baby joked back, winking while simultaneously making a clicking noise with his mouth. Yup, Baby was back. "I drank about thirty gallons of holy water a day. Yeah, my vessel isn't too happy with me. I prayed, I confessed, did penance, I don't know. I'm way too damn pure now. Want to hit up a strip club with me later, Dean?"

"Okay, Kaz. That's enough." Sam smiled at him. They all needed to see a fresh face after being holed up in here for one too many days, especially with such a grumpy and distant Dean.

"Are you going to take him back to heaven?" Dean asked. He was all too ready to get out of this damn room, talk to Sam with the speech he'd sorta been planning for all five days.

"Yes. It's better for him there. Still, we might drop back here a few more times, just to throw heaven off his trail. Not many angels who escaped the Jeweler's fledgling ward kept the babies when they escaped." Baby gently stroked the side of Cas's dark hair.

_It's the right thing, Cas. _

Castiel blinked sadly._ I know. But it's just so difficult._

He spoke up again, as he gently helped Cas to sit up, speaking directly to Dean and Sam. "But expect the unexpected; any week now." Baby explained, and Dean got a rush of goosebumps at his words.

"Bye, Baby. Bye, Cas." He said, hoping he wasn't backtracking on his proof he'd tried to establish to Sam by saying goodbye to Cas.

Maybe he was over thinking it. But then again, he always did whenever something absolutely minuscule happened. He had to cover his tracks so expertly so that even Sam wouldn't be able to tell that maybe he did...no, he didn't. He didn't love him. He deeply ingrained this phrase into his mind. _No, you don't. _

The two disappeared, and without trying he noticed a flash of a bright yellow color, a cheery canary yellow. He was confused; he must have imagined it. Baby had to have black wings, like Cas. He hadn't gotten a chance to see his guardian angel's wings when they were in heaven; between the blackouts, sprinting for his life and swarm of robot-minded angels, it wasn't exactly his top priority. But canary yellow? Maybe he wasn't as mentally stable as he actually thought he was.

Dean immediately looked at Sam. Sam looked angry at him, he knew exactly what he was going to ask._  
_

"You want to talk, Dean? Let's talk. How about you suddenly turning into a massive douchebag these past few days? What the hell?" Dean began making his way put the door, twirling his car keys in his fingers.

"I was tired of taking care of him, okay? He was so needy." He lied right through his teeth, and Sam wasn't fooled for a second.

"That is a straight up lie, Dean. What the fuck were you even _doing_? Trying to _prove_ something to me?" The two of them stomped down the stairs, making their way toward the Impala. "Cas needed you to be there for him."

"Sam, I wasn't...I didn't purposely get into that bed with him, okay? And _he_ came up to _me_. I'm the one who was asleep! He doesn't even need to sleep!"

Sam threw his hands in the air. "I wasn't going to say anything. I told you I wasn't going to say anything."

"I'm not.._.like that_, Sam." He growled, opening up the driver's door. "I don't love Cas. I never will. I'll love my boys, obviously, because they're my kids. But it doesn't matter that they come from him. This was all an accident, Baby told me it was because I care about him. And I do_. But not like that. _Do you understand me?" He tried to sound commanding, all he wanted was for Sam to agree with him. He felt even more frustrated as he argued right back.

"Want to know another thing Baby said? That it has to be mutual for it to work. I can see it his his eyes, Dean. Cas loves you. So according to that-"

"Shut the fuck up _right now,_ Sam!" Dean's voice exploded from his throat.

"I don't care about that, Dean! When someone, anyone makes you happy, I'll be happy. I just care that you don't trust me enough to tell me!" Sam shot back.

"I'm telling you the truth right now." Dean stated in a low voice.

"You know what? Anything you tell me right now, I'll believe it. Because _I_ trust _you_." Sam basically gave up on the argument, finishing with an amazing guilt trip. _Sam, your lawyer is showing, _Dean thought bitterly_._

_"_Fine. I do not love Cas in any way, shape or form." He declared angrily. _  
_

"Okay. I believe you. Really." Sam crossed his arms and looked out the car window. Dean cranked up the music, slightly speeding down the road. He had wished everything had been cleared up, but he still felt that Sam thought he was lying. There was a long period where they didn't speak, and with each minute that passed Dean felt worse. Finally, he turned down the knob.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, Sammy. It's just frustrating when I want to tell you something and you don't listen." He said, finally calming down a bit. He shouldn't have been so angry at him.

"It's okay, Dean. I get it. And I believe you now, okay?"

Dean frowned and blinked heavily. "It's just been so overwhelming, everything since I got back. Sorry that I lashed out." He paused and sighed. "It's almost noon. Did you want to stop for lunch?"

Sam appreciated that he was trying to apologize by being kind to him. He just wished he had been nicer to Cas when he was here, Dean had been acting so strange.

They were both too overwhelmed to even notice a very familiar black pick up truck in the very same parking lot they were in at the diner. Dean parked, took the keys from the ignition and sighed, resting his head against the car's headrest. "Let's just not talk about any of this for like, thirty minutes, sound good?"

"Yeah." Sam replied quickly. He could tell Dean was getting worn down from all the stress lately. Dean looked up to the diner, just looking at the people by the large windows, sitting in their little booths. A couple talked and sipped milkshakes. An old man was getting more black coffee in his cup by a tired-looking waitress. Then, Dean almost jumped out of his skin at the next booth.

"_Sam_!" He hissed, gripping tightly to his arm and pointing. The two teenage boys, one with a head of pitch-black hair, the other with honey blonde, were sittting in one of the booths, talking animatedly to each other from across the table, and the blonde one threw his head back with a laugh as they ate their burgers. There was no mistaking it- they were the kids from the theater, the kids he'd shot at when they'd taken care of that vampire nest.

"That's them! Those are the kids who have been following us!" He felt his heart jump to his throat.

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, squinting to look at them. They were just kids; they couldn't have been eighteen yet.

"One hundred and one percent sure, Sammy. You said we can't have any loose ends when Robert and Leoniel are born, right? This is the last one. We have to tie it up right now. We need to find out why the hell they've been following us and who they're working for." Dean said, getting out of the car.

"Wait! I have an idea." Sam said, calling Dean back to the car. He held out a sharpie, ready to draw something. "Palms up." He quickly drew identical symbols on both of Dean's hands. "I remembered the holding sigils from that Egyptian tomb, if you grab the angel with it he shouldn't be able to get away."

"Thanks, Sam. Let's go take care of this once and for all." Dean already felt pangs of protective feelings rising into his chest. His sons would already have a rough life ahead of then no matter what, and he didn't want to pile the burdens of the hunter world on them too.

* * *

_Hello! Wow, thank you for the review Wunjo! That was very sweet :) Also, thank you new followers or favoriters Little White Comet, jose20131994, wild-one08, Ashfire28 & Wunjo! I'm glad people are enjoying my story, and I have so much more in store :) Please review, I love them! _


	14. Sons from Someday

Robbie took another bite of his burger and groaned. "God, it's so bad for you but tastes so good." He said, and Leo laughed at him. "I swear, you look like you have more fun with a burger than that girl Katy at the school dance!" He poked fun at him.

Robbie get a tiny flush of red in his pale cheeks. "That was in seventh grade, Lee! And I didn't even like her!"

"Okay, _suurreee_." Leo responded, and Robbie rolled his eyes, setting down his burger. "Least I didn't go with Fat Carrie!"

Leo got a defensive look on his face as his deep blue eyes narrowed. "I was trying to be nice! Something _you_ never really learned to do," He replied, sticking out his tongue.

"You're such a preschooler!" Robbie laughed, and Leo playfully punched his shoulders in succession.

"And you're an asshat!" Leo quipped back, laughing as Robbie took his palm and shoved his forehead away, taking a bite of his burger from his other hand simultaneously.

"You gonna finish that _salad_ before your burger?" Robbie pointed out when Leo had sat down again.

"Uncle Sammy said that when-"

"Okay, I guess you can't stomach a full meal of red meat like a _real man_," Robbie joked, taking a theatrically large bite from his burger.

"I'll be the one laughing when we're thirty and you have a beer belly and I have a six pack that brings all the bitches to the yard," Leo replied, and Robbie snorted and almost choked as he was laughing so hard.

They both hadn't even noticed that a man had strode up to their table, and he had stopped right at their table and had already snatched their wrists into his strong hands.

Robbie and Leo both whipped their heads up at the unexpected touch. Robbie whipped his arm out to grab Leo's arm to fly them out of there, and their hands quickly met in the middle but Robbie's face fell as he felt an uncomfortable wrenching feeling and they didn't go anywhere.

"Not so fast, kid." Dean growled. Sam had remembered what the symbol to trap angels in the pharaoh's tomb had felt like, and he replicated the symbols on Dean's palms so the teens wouldn't be able to escape. "You're coming with me. Now."

The frightened dark blue and green eyes met for a second, they both looked scared out of their minds, as Dean yanked them roughly from the booth by their arms. "Outside, right now." He began to push them out the door, Sam taking the lead in case they tried to bolt. When Dean was pushing them out the door, both of them ripped from his grip at the same time and instead of having to go through Sam, they both jumped over the small stairwell's side rails.

Robbie whipped out his gun, cocked it, and began to back away from Dean and Sam, keeping Leo protectively behind his back. Dean strode forward angrily, taking out his gun and aiming it at them, slowly cocking it.

"Who are you?" He demanded, yelling. Sam stayed behind him, the look on his face clearly showing that he didn't want to have to shoot these kids.

"We're leaving," Robbie said coldly, and he reached behind him without looking to grab his twin's hand. He tried to fly again, but the fresh sharpie had left a print on his wrist, binding him here. _Crap_. Robbie thought in a panic.

"No, you're not!" Dean yelled, dangerously close to pulling the trigger.

"You gonna shoot me again? Go ahead and shoot!" Robbie provoked him, narrowing his light green eyes. Suddenly, a crack rang out at the same time as both Robbie and Dean shot simultaneously, both had aimed for just inches to the side of the other's feet. There was a split second as they both stood, shocked. That was _Dean's_ strategy; shoot close enough to give them a little scare.

A single crack from two guns rang out again, this time they'd both aimed a tiny bit over the heads of the people behind them, and Sam and Leo both cringed away from the very close bullet.

"Okay, enough!" Dean said angrily, rushing Robbie and knocking the gun out of his hand before he could even react. He twisted him and pulled his back to his chest, a strong hold on his wrist as his other hand held a blade to his throat. Leo's blue eyes flew open with shock as he tried to rush forward to help his brother.

"No! Not a step closer! Now, give me some answers or he starts getting hurt. Who are you working for?" He demanded.

"No..no one!" Leo pleaded, and his hand flew to his mouth when he saw that Dean had started to dig the blade into Robbie's collarbone area. Tears began to twinkle in his deep blue eyes.

"Look, we're both clean!" He said quickly, pulling down his shirt to reveal his anti-possession tattoo on his chest, over his heart. Him and his brother had to get them when they were around twelve, after they'd found out that because they weren't fully angel, they could still get posessed.

Dean found the placement of the tattoos the slightest bit peculiar: he didn't know where other hunters placed theirs. The kid also had strange tattoos all on his arms; numbers, a flurry of x's, strange symbols at the top.

Sam had almost pieced the whole thing together.

"If it's not demons, than who?" Dean demanded, pressing the blade deeper. Robbie gritted his teeth and cried out. Dean also realized that there was the sound of fizzling in the air, and a horrible smell like burning hair. He looked down to the source of the sound and found that the kid's skin was bubbling and burning like pizza cheese where he had his hand on his wrist, where his silver ring was making contact with his skin.

"You're monsters, aren't you? Running in flames, wolfing out, teleporting..._what_ are you?" Dean asked with realization. The blonde kid refused to answer, his fist over his mouth as his face was pale, his eyes narrowed.

Dean dug the blade further into the kid's skin, and a snake of red blood slipped out. The dark-haired teen let out a hiss through his gritted teeth, his body shuddered violently for a second.

"_Dad_, stop!" Leo cried out painfully, a tear falling smoothing down his cheek as he reached out instinctually to his brother.

There was a dead silence as the word sunk in.

Dean instantly let go of the teenager, his arms just felt like they'd gone slack as he was hit with pure shock. His jaw dropped as the kid stumbled forward and was caught by Leo, who instantly began comforting him as he sunk to his knees, shivering and shuddering as he breathed deeply in and out.

"It's only a scratch, RJ, you're okay, it's all okay. I'm here," Leo fired off, quickly putting his hand over the knife wound and trying to heal him. Robbie breathed deeply, trying to gain control again.

"I'm sorry, I blew it!" Leo said in a watery voice, squeezing him into a hug. "I was just so scared he was going to hurt you. Or hurt you enough for you to hurt him."

Dean felt like he was going to be sick. He suddenly realized the answer to the long time mystery, the initials he had stuggled to figure out. _RJ. Robert John._ He should have seen the connection right away. But there was no way this could be them, that he'd hurt them...

"No. Sam, this is a trap." He said in a monotone voice. Hell, he'd _shot_ him. He didn't want to believe it.

"I don't think so, Dean. Just look at them. Think about what you've seen, what they are." Dean felt his blood drain from his face. So Baby wouldn't be able to cure them before they were born, after all. He looked at their faces and there was no way that it wasn't true.

The black hair on one of them and the blue eyes on the other, that was all Cas. Then there was honey-blonde hair, like Mary's or Jimmy's daughter, and the freckles on one of them, he also seemed to have Cas's softer, kind expression on his face, which was a blend of both of their features. The one with the black hair had an almost sterner look to him, although he still had a kind glint in his eye, he had Dean's clear-cut jawbone and green eyes.

"Leoniel? Robert John?" He tried out softly. God, if only he'd known it was them...

Both of them looked up with surprised expressions. They pulled each other to stand on their feet, Robbie was holding his wrist slightly behind him, the skin was a bright red and blistering painfully. "You never call us that in the future. This is Leo, and I'm Robbie, or RJ, but usually only Leo calls me that."

They both stood there in a moment of silence, staring at each other in disbelief. "Okay, both of you. Get in the car, right now." Dean scolded, turning around to head back to the Impala, his head spinning. He knew that people were following him and Sam, but he never expected this.

The two slid into the backseat, their eyes downcast as they looked like dogs who were guilty and knew they'd done something bad. Sam climbed in the passenger's seat, and pulled his mouth into a 'I have no idea' frown as he shrugged and lifted his eyebrows.

"What the hell were you two thinking, coming back here? How old are you, anyway?" Dean started off, not quite sure why he was scolding them. It just seemed like the only appropriate thing to do in this situation.

"We're seventeen. And you needed help, with Uncle Sol and Cas up in heaven right now...you need someone to watch over you," Robbie answered, avoiding his gaze.

"Sorry," Leo added in a low, guilty voice. Dean was almost amused at how easily they accepted his scoldings, even though he'd never met them.

"Cas? Why do you only call him Cas, when you call me dad?" Dean asked, finding that aspect extremely peculiar. Wow, it was weird to have someone call him dad. Especially because they haven't even been born yet. _He's not dead, right_? He wondered, his stomach dropping. If this were the case, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it.

"We call you dad and him...well, I... Cas-" Leo started, stealing a quick glance with his twin, looking like he wasn't sure if he should continue. Dean was very suspicious. They didn't feel like he was their dad, maybe? But why?

Robbie interrupted him quickly. "Dad, we can't tell you everything. It might mess up some stuff." Robbie warned him, finally bringing his eyes up to meet Dean's. He hadn't noticed before; they were a light green, almost a perfect replica of his. It was like looking into a mirror. Dean shuddered slightly, this was all so strange.

"Why else are you here? We could have handled ourselves."

Both of them looked surprised that he could tell there was more to the story. Dean was a little surprised himself.

"We didn't think we were completely safe there." Robbie started off, shifting his gaze to Leo, who had started to bite his lips and look forlorn.

"They...they took him back, stole him. They tried to use him for his original purpose." Robbie explained vaguely, but his voice was laced with pain.

"Who stole who? What purpose?" Dean asked quickly, not liking the looks on their faces at all.

"Heaven. They took Leo-" Suddenly the little teenager cried out softly and hid his face in his palms, and Robbie quickly wrapped his arms around him and stroked his light hair. "Oh, Lee." Robbie said softly, hugging him tightly. "You're okay now. They're never going to take you again."

Dean felt his chest squeeze angrily. Heaven stole him? They tried to use him for their original purpose- they tried to make him into a weapon?

"That shit is _still_ going on?" Dean could hardly believe that seventeen years later, the horror heaven had become was still happening. He reached back and took Robbie's face between his palms, searching deep in the green irises for a protective sigil, and he was unpleasantly surprised when he saw no such thing. Robbie looked back at him, confused, and Dean felt his head swim when he pointed out the similarities in his face. He had his eyes and eyebrows, just his were darker. He had Cas's nose. He could even trace a few features back to John and Mary.

"Where are your sigils?" He asked in a panicked voice. Was Baby around to give them to them? What if something happened to Baby... he wasn't sure he liked all the anxiety that people from the future were giving him.

"Oh, dad. That shit is old school," Robbie replied sadly, finally understanding when he saw the raised braille-like starrish symbol on one of his dad's irises.

"Hey, no swearing." He said almost automatically. Sam snorted next to him.

"You probably said worse when you were five years old." Robbie quipped back, giving Leo's head another reassuring little rub. Sam grinned in agreement.

"Yeah, well, in my world you're not five. You're not even born. So no foul language." Dean replied. He was still trying to wrap around his head the fact that this kid and the baby just waiting to be born were the same person.

Robbie grinned and shot Sam a 'really'? kind of look before finally continuing. "They have a new control weapon. They call it The Pearl. I think they might have started using it already." Robbie finally added, and he looked down at his brother and tipped his head up by the chin to look at him. _Would you like to join the conversation, Lee?_

Dean could tell right away how the hierarchy worked just by looking at the way his sons interacted, Robbie being the 'big' brother and Leo the 'little'. He smiled just thinking about how sweet they were to each other. He didn't know what he'd do if they wound up being distant.

_Okay_. Leo replied quietly, straightening up and rubbing the back of his neck, flashing the tattoos on the soft underbelly of his arm.

"What are these, Leo?" Dean asked, extending his arm and running his thumb lightly over one of the x's. "What do these mean?"

"My..from when they took me. Training. The x's are the failures." He looked off to the side. "I wasn't..as strong as the other weapons."

Leo hated being reminded of that time in his life, when they'd kidnapped him. They'd both fallen for the dumbest trap, and then Leo was suddenly stolen away, poked and prodded, pushed past the limits of his ability, breaking everything that he was.

He thought with a shudder why the man behind it all was called the Jeweler;it was the institution that would produce heaven's crown jewels, the ultimate weapons, stronger than anything the universe had ever seen. He didn't want to be a fierce, unstoppable warrior, destined to throw his life at protection of the angel tablet, being treated as little more than a robot. He just wanted to be _Leo_, a seventeen-year-old kid.

He closed his eyes as he felt his brother's arm wrap reassuringly over his shoulder. It had been a dark time for Robbie as well.

He'd tried to deal with the fact that Leo was gone and they might not be able to get him back. Robbie knew that his uncontrolled wolf came out with a combination of panic and pain, but he didn't discover that it could be mental pain just as much. He'd gone IV and hadn't gone back for months, finding it easier to live with the pain through an animalistic mind with only fragments of human rationale. It had been deliciously numb, living in that mind while this happened. He hadn't come back until Leo was rescued. His brother seemed to be the only one who could _ever_ pull him back when he went involuntary. Not even Dean could do it.

"The Pearl? What exactly is that?" Dean gulped. It sucked to be finding out the situation in heaven would only get worse.

"It's a...pill. Kind of. No one knows what's it's made of, but they don't use those metal sticks anymore, they were too easy to get rid of. Once an angel has to take the Pearl, it gets absorbed into their grace. We think its effects last...well, forever." Leo finally spoke up, his voice was quiet and soft. Dean shuddered. _Damn_. And thise silver brain-wrapping things were already creepy as hell.

A second past before Leo spoke up again. "They tried to make me take one. I...barely got out of it." He was rushed as he explained. He shuddered out a breath, his face looked a little sickly all the sudden. Dean didn't notice as Robbie shot him an angry glance. Leo sunk back into his brother's arms, resting his head on his shoulder.

This got Dean's blood boiling right away. "Tell me exactly why future me isn't up there beating their asses right now?" Dean demanded, furious. He'd only just met his kids and he already was feeling emotions of exteme protection stir up in his chest. Papa bear Dean, the same person he'd seen beat him up outside that bar a while ago.

"You _are_. We stayed on Earth while everyone went up to raid. We were...we were scared, okay?" Robbie admitted. "We didn't know if they'd come for him again."

"What about you? Why didn't they take you?" Dean asked. He had to commit all these facts to memory, damn. He never expected to run right into two people from his future, his sons at that.

"I'm...I don't think they thought I was suitable." Robbie said, gently smoothing down Leo's head of blonde hair. The kid was not talking or moving, it was clear he still was extremely upset.

"Because I'm part werewolf. Because I'm so unpredictable, and weak and sickly...an experiment gone wrong." Robbie's words were acrid, he closed his eyes, breathing in a frustrated breath. _I'm so messed up that heaven didn't even want me_. He had convinced himself that if they'd taken him and Leo both, they could have broken out together, Leo wouldn't have been there for so long. Robbie hated that he had failed to protect his brother.

Dean was confused when he heard his explanation. Weak and sickly? He looked perfectly healthy to him, stronger than the average teenager. He didn't like the sorrowful look on Robbie's face. What weren't they telling him?

"They only wanted a certain type of monster?" Dean asked, but regretted it right away. Leo looked up, his eyes glittering with tears at the word, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Robbie's green eyes narrowed and he looked furious.

"Can I have a _quick chat?_" He said acidly, wrenching open the car door and quickly climbing out, leaving Leo by himself inside, as the kid buried his face into his hands. Sam quickly reached back and rubbed his back, then looking up, confused, as Dean walked away with Robbie.

They walked a little ways away, and Dean remembered again when he'd been jumped by himself outside that bar, how mad he'd gotten at himself for calling them monsters. How he'd snarled at himself and ordered for him to never use that word for them ever again. _Oops_.

"_Never_ call Leo that, dad. Ever." Robbie demanded, he was still gently holding his blistered wrist. "Me, maybe. But not him. He's...he's not.." He took a deep breath and collected himself, he seemed dangerously close to tears.

"Did you see those bites on his arms? That was _me_. _I_ did that to him. And right afterward, he was the one comforting me, telling me it was okay. What kind of person _does_ that? Why is he so goddamn forgiving when I don't deserve it?" Robbie's voice began to get watery. "When I first found out what I really was... God, I was only six. And I promised him I'd never hurt him. I fuckin' promised and I-" He broke off, tightly clentching his teeth together and locking his jaw.

Dean had no idea what to say to him, but he felt shocked. He'd really believed they could be cured before birth, that they still had time to fix it, and to see them struggling like this broke his heart.

"I know I'm a freak." He spat out, his eyes downcast to the cracked asphalt ground. "You told us when we were six years old that you had wanted to kill us when you found out from Cas what we really were." Tears now began to leak from his eyes. He didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Dad, I was _six_. Why the fuck would you say that to me?" Robbie dragged the back of his hand over his eyes. Dean wanted to talk, but he didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to apologize for something that hadn't happened yet?

"I'm tired of being like this. I'm starting to hate myself every day. Without Leo, dad, I'd be one hell of a wreck. He always pulls me back, he always prevents it when I have to..when I get triggered. And he tells me that I shouldn't be ashamed, that it's not my fault." Pain was dripping from his words.

"But I _am_. I'm so damn ashamed. I don't want to _be_ like this anymore, dad! I want to be normal!" Robbie brought his hands up to his face, and Dean realized he must have been like Dean was, hiding things, always bottling it up.

"You've been putting on a brave face for Leo, haven't you? Hell, would I know what that's like." Dean started, he didn't quite know what to say when this kid knew everything about him and he knew practically nothing about him. "And you've never told anyone all of that before."

The kid lowered his hands, looking up at him with those green eyes. "I try to be tough for Leo, but... truth is I'm _scared_. And I can never show him that, but you're looking for a cure for me...what if you can't find one?" He finished in a small voice. He seemed uncomfortable, like he didn't open up very often, or even at all.

"I can fix this now, before this happens. Baby's got Naomi's word that there is a cure out there, I know if we all tried, we could find the antidote. I can end this before it begins." Dean said determinedly, and felt a squeeze in his chest. He never imagined them to be like this, suffering from something that happened to them before they were born. They just seemed like regular kids, trying to deal with these hard blows, not the vicious and unstoppable killing machines he'd feared. He hadn't even considered that they'd be so close to normal when he'd first found out what they were.

"I never wanted this for you. For either of you." A monster-hunter with monster kids. _That's irony for you, isn't it?_

"I know," Robbie said sadly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Look, this time traveling: it's a lot different than the shit you see on TV. It's already set in stone, everything. You can't cure us now. You can't, and you won't. Or else I wouldn't be like this. There are some things you can't change." His eyes were downcast.

"Robbie..." Dean tried the name out on his tongue. Wow, he already loved him. He reminded him so much of himself, it was uncanny. And he was brave and tough and cared for his brother with the world.

"I've been working so hard to take care of Leo these past three months, and then I just had to get triggered and hurt him, when I'm supposed to be the one protecting him! He's my brother and I almost killed him! What if I had? I love him so much..." The words came tumbling from his mouth, and tears rolled from his eyes.

"I just...I need my dad right now." He said in a shaky voice, a tear dripping from his eye and clinging to his eyelashes. Dean got a glimpse of himself through Robbie's eyes: he looked older, around mid-fourties, he'd been strong enough to give him rides on his shoulders when he was little, he'd always been so big and tall and strong. His hero, the person he looked up to most. That hadn't even changed as he'd gotten older, like with most teenagers.

Dean looked down at his hands and tore the silver ring off his finger, shoving it in his pocket. Even though it had been John's, he promised he would never wear it again, not if it hurt his son. Robbie was infinitely more important to him than a dumb ring.

He strode forward and gripped Robbie into a tight, secure hug. He wrapped one arm on the small of his back and another on top of his dark black hair, pulling his head into his shoulder. Dean felt his body shake with a sob, and he patted his back. "It's okay, Robbie. I'm right here, alright?"

"I don't want to hurt people anymore. I can control it most times, but when I get triggered..." He began to say in a muffled voice, and he wrapped his arms right back around his dad. "I'm sorry that we didn't stay hidden. That you know all about us before we're born, that's not supposed to happen. I'm sorry- I'm sorry if I'm not the son you've always wanted." His voice broke at the end and he buried his head into his shoulder, and Dean felt tiny puddles of moisture through his shirt.

Dean felt his heart tear at these words. He ran his hand down from his head and rubbed his back by the shoulder blades, and he felt him hiccup with sobs. "No, you're so much better than I expected." He gently planted a kiss on his dark hair near the top of his head and rubbed his back a little more. He hated that he couldn't fix this now, that he'd suffer for seventeen years, maybe longer. He was a damn good kid, he could tell. And if he needed someone there for him, even though Dean wasn't technically a dad yet, he'd be there to tell him it was okay.

Then, as he watched, he saw small flickers of wings unfolding and pulling delicately from Robbie's back, the image wavered often and they were more invisible than visible, but he was able to make out the color. Gold, like his, just a tad bit lighter. He remembered what Cas had told him; that they were rare. He went to try and stroke one, but his hand passed right through. _Oh, yeah. Alternate dimension_. But just seeing them somehow made Dean feel even a little more connected to this kid who thirty minutes ago had been a complete stranger, even a possible threat.

Robbie was amazed at how much better pre-kid Dean made him feel. The fact that he still accepted him, still loved him, even though he'd seen him at his scariest, uncontrolled and wolfed out. That he said he was better than he expected. He wasn't used to people being this okay with who he was. And this Dean, who had barely begun to see the fine line between good monster and bad monster, he still loved him. Robbie sniffled and rubbed his dad's back too, but after just one second he stopped right in his tracks. The scar. It was gone, it hadn't been made yet. His skin was smooth and completely void of the textured surface, the perplexing wing that covered almost his whole back with almost beautiful white feather scars..it was gone.

Dean hadn't seemed to notice Robbie's tension at realizing. He was still rubbing his upper back, pushing his hair back and planting another little kiss on his forehead. "Better?" He asked when their eyes met. Robbie nodded, the strange scar mystery still in the back of his mind.

Dean looked at him up and down, and saw the horizontal knife wound on his collarbone, barely healed. He automatically reached out, and without quite knowing how he was able to heal him fully. His leaning stance also seemed to change as the bullet wound closed up fully. "I'm so sorry. If I only knew... I'm yelling at you and telling you not to come here later." He said angrily, mostly angry at himself. How did he let himself hurt them?

Robbie was the one who let go first, pulling away and wiping his eyes, sniffing. "I haven't cried like that since I was a baby," he said, laughing wetly through his tears. "Let's go back, please. Cuz this is starting to get awkward," he joked, wiping his eyes again. Dean had to crack a smile. They started to walk back to the car together.

Robbie was surprised at how little his dad had really changed, once he got past the paranoia that they were following him and trying to hurt him. Dean knew it was all wrong, but he wished his sons didn't have to leave just yet. They were really starting to grow on him, for obvious reasons.

They finally got back to the car, and Robbie easily slid into the backseat, where Leo was waiting for him. To Robbie's horror, the kid saw he'd been crying right away.

_Why were you crying, RJ?_ He shot off the thought, feeling like he needed to comfort him. Robbie was embarrassed he'd noticed so quickly. He looked into his deep blue eyes, he didn't want him to know that he wasn't exactly as tough or strong as he tried to show. Leo instantly half-wrapped his arm around him and rested his head on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes.

_Don't worry about it._ Robbie blew it off, and he sensed that Leo got a little angry at him, but still didn't pull away.

Sam started the ignition, and Dean climbed into the car. "You'll come with us, right? Wait, what about the car you've been driving?"

Leo spoke up this time. "We, uh, sort of stole it?" He said innocently with a small shrug.

Dean was astonished. Okay, it was fine for _him_ to steal cars, but there was no way he'd taught them his bad habits, right?

"Well, technically we're not people yet. So what, who are they gonna blame? A person in utero? Live 'n let live, pops." Robbie replied with a cheeky grin. He remembered when they'd stolen it- Robbie waited, hidden nearby, as Leo lumbered out wearing the skin of a gigantic brown grizzly bear. The couple inside quickly went from making out to freaking out. Leo clambered into the truck bed, giving the couple room to run screaming from the car.

Robbie came out of the forest, laughing, giving Leo a high-five when he was still in bear form, then a little noogie when he melted back to human. The two climbed quickly into the front bench seat. "You're pretty amazing Lee, you know that? But all the growling was a little excessive." Robbie had laughed. "Well, it worked, didn't it?" Leo quipped back. Robbie had been so glad their plan had worked so well he let Leo play Led Zepplin for a little while. He didn't know why he loved classical music so much. Maybe it was from Cas.

"They'd have registered it as a stolen vehicle. The DMV or whatever can take care of it, right?" Leo said with a tiny smile. He'd been remembering too.

"Okay, first of all, no. I want you to return that car, okay?" Dean scolded them like he was training a puppy.

"We can't now. We drove it almost a hundred miles away. They'll get it back eventually." Leo explained as they began to pull onto the main road.

"Hey, you don't like the way you raised us, do it differently this time around." Robbie quipped, being extremely sarcastic, flashing him a bright grin. For some reason, this just made Dean happier instead of angry. His kids were pretty awesome.

Then it just occured to him; these two basically knew everything he needed to know. He could ask their birthday and it didn't have to be a surprise. He could get help on things he needed to do when they were born; did they sleep, like him? Eat like Sam, or maybe neither?

They started down the road, and Dean spoke up nervously. "I...give me some help, please. Do you guys sleep? Or eat? Hell, when's your birthday? I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I have no idea what to expect." He admitted, nervous feelings stirring down in the pit of his stomach. Was he even going to be a good dad? Why had he let his kids become hunters in the first place, something he never wanted for any kids?

"First of all, June 27." Robbie answered.

"Jun- but that's in a little less than a month." Dean was astonished. Jesus, that was soon.

"I guess we come a little earlier than you expected." Leo piped up to Dean, nuzzling into Robbie's shoulder, being his cuddly usual self.

Robbie looked a little embarrassed, realizing that this Dean and Sam must not be used to it. "Sorry. He's always been a little touchy. I think he got that from Cas." Dean smiled inwardly. All those times Castiel had been oblivious to personal space- who knew it would be inherited?

Leo lifted his head off his brother's shoulder and narrowed his eyes at his twin. "I am not _touchy. _I just like to...uh, I just..." He looked somewhat annoyed and flustered, just a tinge of pink forming under those freckles. "You know what I mean."

"You're a cuddler, Lee. Just admit it," Robbie teased, giving him a very Sam-like bitchface.

"Am not!" Leo retorted, crossing his arms. "Fine, no more tiger then. See if I care."

Robbie looked a bit taken aback. "Okay, sorry. You're not a cuddler, you just..uh...have an inherent need for contact comfort."

Leo rolled his eyes at him. "At least I'm not a damn rock wall when someone tries to hug me! You were stiff as a board when Marie hugged you that one time in fifth grade and she told all her friends about it!"

"Well you would know because all your friends were _girls_, shemale!"

"At least I don't fight like a girl like you, babyhands!"

Robbie punched him on the shoulder. "That feel like babyhands to you?"

"Stupidass!"

"Sassy bitch!"

"Dumb hoe!"

"Ass face!"

"Shithead!"

The two brothers were shoving each other around and spewing Baby-tinged insults, but it clearly mainly horse play as they roughed each other up a little. Dean was amazed at how quickly these two went from quite literally cuddling to shoving each other around. At least he knew for certain these two were close- there wasn't much else he'd wanted when he'd found out he was having twin boys. He wasn't sure what he'd do if they grew to hate each other.

"Hey, hey! Break this up, kay? I asked a question!" Dean scolded, and Sam was laughing at the three of them.

"Sorry." Leo said, rougly shoving Robbie off of him, which got him a middle finger in response as Robbie rolled off and knocked his head on the floor of the car. Robbie straighted up and rubbed his head. "Bitch."

"Suck it up, buttercup!"

"_Guys_!"

"Sorry. We do sleep, like normal. And eat, but we don't need much. Around a meal a day." Leo answered, rubbing his neck where Robbie had flicked him, going and sticking his tounge out at him.

Dean found that his cheeks had unconsciously pulled into a smile. They were _cute. _Nothing like the uncontrollable killing machines he'd had nightmares about. And even though Robbie had told him he hurt his brother, Leo seemed okay, and it _still_ ate him up inside. He felt a rush of emotion when he remembered how much Cas had insisted that they could be good, that they could 'use what they are to help people.' It just hit him; they really were doing just that. They'd pulled him away from the raging flames, they'd saved him from that vamp who was about to kill him with his own blade.

Leo looked at him suddenly with a sad look in his eyes. "Is Cas here?" He asked, and Robbie suddenly got very serious. Dean lifted an eyebrow. "Sorry guys, you just missed him."

"Oh." Leo said. There was a small silence. "I wanted to see him."

At least he hadn't used the word meet, Dean thought. He still couldn't tell if they knew him or not, if he was dead. He suddenly felt a little sick. What if..._oh, god. _He'd been so horrible to Cas the last time he saw him. His kids were scaring him on how vague they were being. He didn't know what he'd do if that was the last time he saw Cas.

He promised that things would go back to normal if he dropped by again. But then again...what was normal anymore? He scared himself sometimes with the things he did subconciously. His hand sliding up his forehead so tenderly, that he'd thought that having Cas on his chest was 'even better' than a woman. What was wrong with him? He knew that it wasn't normal for him, it wasn't okay to love another guy. That didn't stop his stupid brain from doing it anyway.

He felt ashamed. He'd sort of known for a while now. Like, a long while now. Ever since he'd been a teenager. He tried to cover everything up, he couldn't bear the crippling shame and embarrassment that would come if his dad and Sam ever found out, especially his dad. Everything would change, he'd no doubt be seen as weak and disgusting. The shame of his family knowing...he'd probably run away. He couldn't bear the idea of them knowing his deepest secret, even though he couldn't help it.

He remembered doing all kinds of things to try and prove to his dad and Sam that he was normal, a lot of it trying to prove things to himself. He always kissed his current girlfriend good morning for them to see. He mentioned hot women at least once a day for them and his friends to hear. Things were going okay for a while. But his secret was always there, ugly, unpreventable thoughts always crept into his mind. Thinking a guy was cute at the bar, seeing two guys holding hands and just wishing he could be that brave. He was so ashamed that this mind spewed these thoughts, he didn't ever want it to. He'd gotten expert at covering everything, he knew that no one had even suspected. That was until Cas came along.

_Dammit! Dean, you know you don't love him._ Dean bit his lips. Seeing his kids, seeing Cas was a part of them too... maybe he did. It wasn't going to be easy to admit that to himself. The belief that he was supposed to deny it and hide it was ingrained so deep, he didn't know if he could ever overcome that. That voice of denial and doubt would be hard to ignore, it had been correcting him for so long. But maybe one day...

_..._

_Sam_.

Sam suddenly got a very hazy, faraway thought from Baby.

_Cas is freaking out up here. What's going on?_

Baby held his hand to Cas's forehead, which was burning with a fever again. He was struggling to move, muttering things unintelligibly as he thrashed around. He made a sudden move to try and fly away, but Baby quickly restrained him.

"Cas, you fly now and it might be the last thing you do." He warned him, wiping his forehead which had started to bead with sweat. "Tell me what's wrong. What's going on?"

"My sons, Sol...they..." He thrashed and tried to get away from Baby's grip on his wrist.

"Speak up, Cas! Are they hurting you? Are they surfacing again, what is it?" Cas bit his lips and began to whimper and cry out. "No, no...they are going to leave...Soloviel, please!"

_We, uh, found the kids who were tailing us. It turned out it was the twins, _Sam replied.

"No way," Baby breathed. They'd time traveled back? Why?

"Cas, you might not be strong enough to go back to earth, bud." Baby said sadly. A tear came out of Cas's eye and rolled down his face as he tried to wriggle his arm from Baby's grip. "I have to go. Please...please, let me go."

Baby looked into his eyes that were pleading him, shining with fever. Not much had been going right for him nowadays. He was constantly in a lot of pain, Baby could tell he was still sad from the way Dean had treated him last time they'd been together. He thought he deserved something nice for once.

"Okay, come here." He said softly, pulling the very light and bony Cas into his arms. "At least a week break next time before you go back to Earth, understand?"

Cas nodded quickly, his eyes closed tightly. "I promise. Thank you, Soloviel." Baby smiled and brought him in tighter, lifting his sunny yellow wings to expand their full length, flying them both to Earth.

...

They landed in the car somewhat roughly, landing on the twin's laps in the backseat. Both of the were startled at the sudden weight and people in the car. Baby tried to climb off of Cas, but there wasn't much room. Instead, he just shot Dean a quick little smile before flying away again. Dean saw them for certain this time; cheery yellow wings sprouting from Baby's all black-clad body._ Well, I'll be damned. Yellow._

Cas tried to straighten up with a moan, and Leo had a huge wide-eyed look on his face as he quickly helped him to sit up in between them. Cas curled over and blood poured from his mouth. Robbie jumped back, he looked terrified. "_Dad_!" He exclaimed. So they _did_ call Cas 'dad'? He was confused for a second before Robbie spoke up again, his voice tight and scared.

"Dad, you never told us it was this bad!" He said angrily, tears coming to his eyes and he looked to Cas and brought his hand up to his shoulder. Leo had already pieced himself to cling tightly to his side, fitting himself perfectly by his ribs in a great cuddle. Tears started to fall from his eyes. "I'm doing this to him! I'm killing him!" He said in agony, sniffling and burying his face into his chest. "You told us he was only a little sick! He looks like hell, dad!" Robbie accused him angrily.

Dean had no idea what to do as the car suddenly went to pandemonium. Leo was sobbing, Robbie was yelling angrily, Sam was trying to calm them both down as Cas leaned over and retched again.

"Hey! _Hey_!" Dean yelled, swinging the car off the road and killing the engine. "Everyone shut the hell up!"

Leo sniffled loudly and hiccuped, but there wasn't much other noise as Robbie narrowed his eyes up at him, he'd pulled himself into a side hug with Cas as well. Sam was breathing heavily, he'd been trying to break it up but no one was listening to him. Cas was exhausted-looking as he leaned his head back, his face was pale and there was another splotch of red by his mouth as he sat in the teenager sandwich.

Dean twisted around and pointed his finger back in an accusatory way, he yelled more furiously than he ever had in his life. "Tell me right now, _right now! _Does he die_?! I'm asking you if he dies!" _He screamed, feeling sorrow in his voice as tears sprang to his eyes. "_Does he die_?!"

Robbie closed his eyes and hugged Cas tightly. "No." He said in a voice tight with sadness. "But it's not good either, dad."

"What do you mean?" He asked, he had felt intense relief until he said the second part. It wasn't good? What could possibly happen to him?

"We can't tell you." Leo finally spoke up in a tear-stained voice. Him and Robbie exchanged glances. "I'm so sorry, Cas." Robbie choked, hugging him tighter.

He was too tired to say anything, but he took all his effort and brought his hands up and place them on his son's shoulders. Dean looked at them and realized; young and old, all four of them were there. He couldn't help but feel panicked at what Robbie had said, that it wasn't good. What was going to happen to him?

_His scar is gone, Leo. _Robbie spoke up, the thing he'd discovered a while ago. Leoniel was smart, maybe he could understand something he didn't.

_I know. He never told us what happened. _Leo buried his face into Cas's side._ I think I understand now, what happened. He didn't want us to travel back here because we might find out the truth. I know why he never told us._

_Why?_ Robbie asked in a small thought, even though he had the tiniest of ideas.

_He always used to tell us he didn't blame us, remember? But I think...I think it was our fault._ A tear slipped down his face as he gripped tightly onto his dad's trench coat._ It's so sad, RJ. That Cas won't be seeing us again for a long time._

* * *

_Hello! I swear my mind gets the most complex ideas sometimes. I'll be going into what happened in Robert and Leoniel's life in somewhat of flashforwards/memories from the two of them. Their lives aren't so perfect either; what did you expect? They are Winchesters haha ;) Main events in their lives happen as babies, age 5/6 and age 17/18. These two are not going to be 'background' people; I love their distinct characters too much already!_

_Please review, I'd love that :) I have so dang much left to write that is just locked up in my brain right now! But any more ideas are always taken into consideration. Any questions or comments are love :D_


	15. The Gemling Garrison

"Damn rain," Dean said under his breath as he turned on the windshield wipers. Raindrops were falling down and lightly dotting the windshield, reflecting in little spheres the dim yellow lights of the street lamps as they drove past them. The car was perfectly quiet, and the tires on the wet road and the grumble of the engine could be heard over everything. Sam was quietly checking the gps for nearby motels, as Dean drove and the three of them still sat in silence in the backseat.

"So you guys said you sleep, right?" Dean asked to the backseat, where the three of them had not moved much since the few hours they had been in the car. Dean struggled to try and figure out what happened to Cas, or more accurately what will happen to him. His kids were perplexing, by the way they both were hugging him tightly in the backseat it seemed like they either had a close relationship with him 'back home' or they never saw him. He hoped to God it wasn't the latter.

But whatever would happen was apparently 'not good.' And why in the world did they only call him Cas? Dean thought that maybe they'd call him 'father', the word seemed to be perfectly professional, just like Castiel. Since the news, Dean felt his skin start to sweat all over as he fretted internally. If there was less than a month left... he couldn't even wrap him mind around the possibilites of what might happen.

"Yeah. Both of us. But we should probably share a bed." Robbie spoke up quietly. "Leo... he's been having nightmares since you got him back." He added after a second.

Dean now turned fully to look in the backseat. Leo looked like he was dozing lightly, his eyes shut peacefully and his hand lightly resting on Cas's chest as Cas somewhat leaned his cheek on top of his short blond hair. He looked peaceful enough to him, but he had no idea what Leo had gone through up in heaven, when they'd apparently 'stolen him away.'

"This rain...dad, I think that's Leo. It's not just me who bottles things up, he tells me somethings but not everything. He covers things so well, and he's such a loving person, sometimes I forgot about all the pain behind those eyes." Robbie was staring at his brother in an almost nostalgic way. Dean could tell Leo hadn't always been that way.

He was so angry that this was going happen to them, that he would let this happen. "How bad are his nightmares?" He asked. He remembered having to deal with his own nightmares as well as Sam's. He never wanted this for them.

"He gets them probably three or four days a week." Robbie spoke up quietly, careful not to wake him. "It might not seem like it because he's so good-natured and sweet, but dad, he...what happened to him up there, he went through hell. Believe me." Dean felt his stomach drop. No, this couldn't be happening. Not to them.

"What happened?" He asked, but deep down he wasn't sure if he wanted to know right now. He'd still have to deal with this in person in the future. He looked to his sleeping little golden-haired kid, he didn't want to believe that under that kind face lay a mind scarred by heaven.

"He barely talks about it, even to me. All I know is that they pushed him so far past his limits, he almost died. It didn't help that he's part human still; most of the other gemlings aren't. Actually, none of the others are. Just me and him."

"But I thought Cas said they -I mean you- took up human as well as the other creatures, you know, during the treatments." He shuddered. If he could only change that, keep it from happening...

Robbie shook his head sadly. "No, no. We're only part human because you are. For Leo in that awful program...because he was weaker, they just made him work harder."

He got a misty-eyed look as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the back of the seat, lowering his eyes as he kept talking, almost directly into his dad's ear, careful that he didn't wake Leo.

He frowned and looked back briefly at the sleeping teenager, before looking back at Dean with pain in his eyes. "He's such a child. He can only see the good in the world, or maybe he only chooses to. He likes to think that the world is a good place, no matter what it throws at him. He's so damn innocent." He sighed and rested his head on his arms, which were on the back of the seat.

"He thinks that we are this way for a reason." He closed his eyes slowly, a pained look on his face. "I don't think so. It's nothing but a cruel slap to the face by fate." Dean remembered what he had confessed to him a few hours before, things that were obviously hard for him to admit aloud; that he didn't want to be the way he was, to have the potential to hurt people, that he wanted to be normal.

Dean lightly put his hand on the side of his face, feeling the curve of his smooth cheek under his palm. The kid leaned into the touch only slightly, but that was it. They both were completely silent as they both already understood; Dean didn't hate Robbie for being the way he was, and Robbie didn't blame either of his parents.

Dean had so much that he wanted to say to him, he just didn't know how. He wanted to tell him that he was sorry, that he still loved him, he shouldn't hate himself as much as he could tell he did. Most of all he wished he could change all of this, he wished that he wouldn't have to suffer like he was. He lightly stroked his thumb on his cheek before letting go, and his bright eyes folded open slowly.

"Dad, the things Leo went through...he only tells me the bare minimum." Robbie shuddered. It was clear that when something pained his brother, it pained him too. "If only they'd taken me too...I could have helped him. I could have absorbed the blows so he wouldn't have to. I could have gotten us out. But even heaven didn't want me."

Dean saw the pain shining in his eyes. "Don't take on more than you need to, Robbie. Everything is okay now, Leo's back with you. Just be glad that things are okay now." Robbie slowly nodded his head. "I just...I hate to see the pain he goes through because of it."

Dean reached back only a little and put his hand on his shoulder. "I'll get you two nice and settled in, okay? Stop worrying about being on your own, I'm lifting that weight off your shoulders now. We'll take care of you until you have to go back, kay?" He nodded again, Dean could tell he wanted to say something more.

"Leo...dad, the things he goes through even now, he's been coping so well. Please don't bring anything up to him. Just let me handle it."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked. He was perfectly willing to help, he'd taken on plenty of broken people before.

"Yeah. I know what to do." Robbie said confidently. Dean suddenly felt his chest puff up with happiness. "You're a good kid, Rob. And a damn good brother." He ruffled his head of dark hair that was right behind him. Robbie finally smiled, but it was so slight and barely there, it was almost just the ghost of a smile .

He rested his head back on Cas's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I do what I can." He said softly, not exactly taking the praise. Dean couldn't believe it, it was exactly what he had been like at that age.

...

Leo could tell right when he closed his eyes that tonight was going to be one of those nights. Whenever he went to bed upset was when they usually came, the horrible memories from that place. And hell, had he been upset this time. To see Cas vomiting blood, so bony and barely conscious and to know that it was all because of him, what he went through just to have him and his twin come into this world... it had quickly overwhelmed him. He didn't remember drifting off to sleep, until his dreams came, rushing, unstoppable, like a flood.

He'd seen this one on repeat at least fifteen times since he'd been brought back. At least it wasn't as unpleasant as his other, less frequently reoccurring dreams.

He remembered in sharp detail that night, the first week he'd been captured. He was in the tiny dorm they provided to all the grown-up babies of the Jeweler's fledgling program, they called them 'Gemlings.'

It had been a very hard session today. They'd targeted his phoenix ability only, and it had been almost three hours and his skin still hadn't cooled down, he was covered in head to toe with papery, peeling white-grey ashy skin, sometimes a flicker of orangey-red could be seen underneath. He had shoved himself into the tiny shower that was nothing but cold water, no shampoo, no soap. He had the ice-cold water running over his body, as it hit him steam billowed into the room and a fizzling sound was heard. He could barely move as he had his palms and knees pressed to the ground, he blinked the few droplets that made it to his face out of his eyes. He was so exhausted.

So far he'd only managed to bring half of his face back to normal, and his smallish, almost costume-sized wings, which shook and shuffled every few minutes to get the heavy water out of the obsidian black feathers. He panted and shivered, trying to heal himself. In just three hours now, he'd have to do a hellish set of drills all over again.

"It's easier if you try to aim for healing as a whole, not just trying to fully restore small areas." Her voice was soft and quiet. Leo turned his head to look, his mostly normal cheek facing the person who had talked to him. He blinked a drop of water out of his sad blue eyes.

"Who are _you_?" He asked shakily, shivering as the ice-cold water evaporated on his ultrahot skin.

"I'm your cellmate." She answered simply. He looked at her for just a moment before looking back down at the small square tiles in the shower. She was tiny and short, with smooth golden-brown skin, and was that natural kind of pretty, and she wore no makeup but she had these long, dark eyelashes, dark brown hair with matching wings, but the most captivating part of her was her eyes. Her irises shone brightly at him, they were a pure gold.

"I meant what's your name?" He asked, shivering and finally reaching up to shut off the water. He pulled his body into a tiny hug, pressing himself into a corner of the shower and trying to do as she said, heal himself as a whole, as the tiles hissed and all excess water quickly evaporated.

"Forty-eight. Class B, angel, phoenix, shape-shifter and sphinx. What about you?" She seemed awkward or maybe just didn't know normal social rules as she stood there staring at him. She wore the pure white uniform all of them were required to wear, it was bulky and ill-fitting, like an army camo but a bleached white. Her dark hair spilled onto it, and she stared at him with those piercingly gold eyes. The sphinx part explained that pretty well.

"Your name is forty-eight?" Leo asked in disbelief. He shivered and began to feel his skin get a bit less scalding. She actually had helped. Now, without that as a main focus, his mind darted back to worrying. He missed his dad and Cas and his uncles. He especially missed his brother. He needed him right now, more than ever. He had never been on his own like this, ever. As the baby of the family, he was always shielded from so much. He wanted to go home. He felt tears prick into his eyes for the umptillionth time this week.

She cocked her head to the side. "Well, what's yours?"

"Leoniel Samuel Winchester. Class get me the fuck out of here, and what I am doesn't matter."

Her face fell in realization. "Oh. So you were one of the Gemlings who was rounded up recently." She said, almost sadly. "It might seem bad now, Leoniel Samuel Winchester, but it gets better over time."

"My ass it does." He said bitterly. "I want to go home."

"This is your home now." She said, looking genuinely confused. Leo realized; she must have been someone who was born and raised here in this awful place. There was a long pause as they simply stared at each other, Leo curled in the corner of the shower as he tried to calm his skin, she just standing there outside and waiting for him to come out.

"So your name is really forty-eight." He said after a while, still finding it so strange at how they treated them; like machines, like little more than robots. There was never enough rest, never enough food, never enough mercy during training.

"Correct."

"Ever had a nickname?"

"No."

"Well, what were your parents names?"

"I never met my parents." She replied in a monotone voice. She then looked behind her and pulled out a clean, folded white uniform and held it out to him. "Here. It is not right to be indecent once you are out of the shower."

"You were born and raised here, weren't you?" He asked in a small voice. He couldn't imagine how horrible that must have been, never meeting Cas or Dean, Uncle Sammy or Uncle Sol, not even Robbie.

Suddenly, he was catapulted into another memory. He was breathing heavily, collapsed on his legs, every muscle in his body screamed as sweat drenched his skin. He was staring at a small window that had an anatomical drawing of a zebra on the current slide. Leo felt tears roll down his face without blinking. There was the horrible ticking of a stopwatch before it finally stopped.

"Still a no. Sixty-three, you have to get a hundred in a minute or I'm not letting you go. We can take up all break if we need to." The person monitoring him said unemotionally. "Again."

The slides began to change rapidly, and Leo struggled to even process the pictures zooming by, much less turn himself into them. Horse, crocodile, swan, lion, walrus, elephant... he struggled to try and meet the requirements, the awful ticking of the stopwatch booming in his ears. He'd been at this for five hours straight now.

Suddenly he felt an extremely uncomfortable squelch and he simply couldn't move as he was abruptly brought back to his human form. He collapsed to the ground, he could only stare ahead at the timer's clean, black shoes. He smelled iron, and realized blood was dripping from his nostril. The clicking of the slides chabging finally stopped, and the stopwatch a few seconds after that. Leo gulped in air greedily, his ribs screaming in pain as his lungs moved in and out. He closed his eyes and tried to rest his painfully clentched muscles.

"Get up." Leo squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't, he'd been worked too hard.

"Sixty-three. Get up now."

Before he could react, he felt something that spread pain like fire jab into his back. The electric prod. He jumped up, biting back a yelp. He knew what came next.

"The Jeweler won't be happy when he sees this. Work harder, boy, or you'll be discarded of." His exhausted arm was led into a machine at the entrance of the cramped room, his arm was shoved in and today's stats were stamped into the skin of his arm, a small x for failure. Before that on the list were several more x's, and before that times in seconds, but Leo knew they still weren't any good. At the very top of the list was an Enochian symbol, simple and strange, that he had learned meant 'skinwalker'. Next to that was another symbol, 'phoenix'. His stats for that weren't so good either; tiny x's scattered the numbers.

He hadn't seen any other gemlings with so many failures. He was so afraid; they believed he was just weak, for some reason they didn't know that he was part human. He'd never been inspected, but from what his cellmate forty-eight told him, she said that the weakest sometimes were weeded out and 'discarded', because heaven didn't want them in existence if they weren't in the program. They never let anyone go once they were in.

He stumbled out of the room and made it cautiously back to his small room, the white halls seemed to be tipping and churning around him. Other gemlings that passed him by looked at him with disgust. A disgrace, his arms plagued by X's, such a weak link, let's hope it's not contagious. And look at those wings, they're stunted. What's wrong with him?

He collapsed onto his small and lumpy bed, tears streaming from under his eyelids as his legs screamed from the effort. The smell of blood was making him lightheaded. He didn't know how long he got to rest this time, that session had chewed into so much of it. Probably less than an hour.

He felt a gentle hand shake his shoulder. He opened his eyes slowly, defeatedly, and saw his cellmate staring at him with almost empathy in those beautiful eyes.

"I know now. You're part human, aren't you?" She asked quietly. Leo blinked in shame and turned away. He wished he wasn't, not now. He was so tired; he could tell he required more sleep and more food than the others, but no one had guessed the reason until her.

"You can't hide much from me, Leoniel Samuel Winchester. Sphinxes can solve the most complex equations and puzzles. And I believe I know how it was possible as well." Leo sighed, but was instantly surprised when he felt her sit on the bed with him, her lower back pressed to his as she sat upright, not facing him as she said nothing._ She's an odd bird, isn't she?_

"It's Leo." He said after a few seconds had passed. "What?" She asked quietly.

"You can just call me Leo. Real names don't need the whole thing to be said every time." He said quietly. He just realized; this was probably the one occasion here that wasn't absolute torture. Talking to her was almost pleasant, even though she was strange.

There was another small silence. Finally, forty-eight got up off the bed and walked softly around to the front of where Leo was curled in defeated. He didn't open his eyes, but he felt something placed into one of his hands.

"Eat. You've been wasting away, and I never needed very much sustenance anyway." He opened his eyes as saw half a slice of dark bread in his hand. He brought it up to his lips, it tasted ten times better than he thought it would. Tears came again to his weary eyes, he missed his family so much. He wanted to leave this horrible place.

"Your parents went through the Conversion program, didn't they? That's why you're human. You must have been an unplanned gemling, right?" Leo nodded slowly, taking another small bite of his bread. She spoke up again after a few seconds. "Wow. That means...your parents had to love each other. That's..." She almost seemed at a loss for words. Leo couldn't imagine living like her, no family, no name, no one who had ever loved her. He reached up and pulled her into a hug, the first non-violent touch he'd had in almost a month.

She almost didn't know how to react, and Leo realized she must have never had been hugged before. He was doing it mainly for himself, he needed someone, anyone to be his friend. He was so scared.

His nightmare went on even further; he recalled the first time that he'd had to go in the lineup for inspection. The sirens called a short trill, and forty-eight helped to wake him up and rush him down the halls, telling him that if he didn't get there in time there would be some major punishment.

All he saw for what seemed like miles and miles was white. White uniforms, bulky with high necklines, long and baggy arms and legs, a one-piece suit. White halls and white lights. He began to run faster, holding onto forty-eight's hand as she led him. He tried to ignore the hostile stares he got, everyone judging him, shying away from his deep black wings that were almost half the size of most of the other kids here.

He remembered stepping into the inspection room, it was a grid with numbers, as he went and stood in his tiny numbered square. He had never been so nervous in his life as this man, the Jeweler, made his way down the aisles, checking these kids who all stood stiff with blank expressions like robots.

The Jeweler was a lithe kind of man who slinked along, almost cat-like, in his perfectly fitted black-and-white suit. He had a very foxish face, with a smile that could only be seen as a sneer. He had an assisstant following him, carrying a little silver tray with tiny paper cups with the pills inside.

Leo squirmed and wrung his hands, trying to hide the failures that were printed on his arms, shuffling his baby wings nervously. If his family didn't rescue him in time...what if he was discarded? He could never meet the requirements they set for him, he just wasn't strong enough.

His stomach dropped when the Jeweler stopped next to his cellmate, his only friend. She was smart, extremely smart, and she'd picked up easily on emotions, learning them all from him.

She had grown to be so kind, sneaking him food often as he had begun to wither away. He remembered taking a shower and seeing his arms for the first time in a long time, they were usually covered by the baggy long sleeves of the snow white uniform, and there were no mirrors. His arms had looked like twigs, no muscles, which he was so used to having.

He'd started to get horrible headaches three months in for the four grueling months he was there. She come up onto his bed and wrap him into a hug, they'd stay like that for long periods of time. Sometimes they'd sleep on the same bed like a husband and wife, and as time went by that 'sometimes' turned into an all the time. Leo knew it was a horrible idea, that it was doomed from the start, but he had sort of started falling in love with her.

He watched in horror as the suited man looked her up and down, smiled, and said something to the person tailing him. She was ready. A pill was handed to him, and Leo couldn't watch as he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt incredible loss in his heart as she took the Pearl. He clasped his hands together, they were trembling. He didn't even notice when the Jeweler was two cells away, one...

His dark wing was grabbed roughly and tugged out to full length, which wasn't very far. The man twirled a feather as Leo stood stiff as a board, trembling slightly. His arm was grabbed roughly and the man made a tutting noise as he saw all the x's, all the failures.

"Why, pray tell, did _no one _tell me we had a part-human here?" He spoke up, his voice building until it was practically booming. The authoritative angels who stood at the front of the room looked baffled.

"Part...you said part-human, sir?" One of them spoke up timidly.

"Yes, part-human, you godamn idiots! Do you know what this can mean for us? Why is he not under our control right now?!" He held out his slender, pale hand, and his assisstant quickly pinched a shiny, iridescent white pill into his palm. Leo felt his stomach drop and his face drain of blood. The hand closed over the pill, and the next thing he knew he had his face pinched in between one hand as the other had the white circle in between two fingers, trying to force it into his pinched open lips.

"No!" Leo managed to say, squirming against his hold. His wings stiffened and folded out, trembling and ready for flight as they shuffled in a panicked way. He turned his face away, squirming and trying to get out of his grasp..

He woke up with a gasp, his heart pounding as if he had really just relived snippets of his experience. He was still so scared he would have to go back; it had mainly been his idea to come back to this time period, and distraught Robbie had instantly agreed. Leo felt a tear drip down his face in real life as the dream began to hazily fade away. He reached out and grabbed whoever was closest to him, resting his head on the secure chest.

He opened his eyes and looked into Robbie's face, he could just make out the outline of his cheek from the neon light of the motel sign outside. He looked around the room; Cas was resting on the other motel bed next to them, surrounded by a wall of cheap blankets, while Dean was restlessly sleeping on a pull-in bed, his back to them. Sam was in the fartherst corner by the kitchen counter, reading his computer screen that emitted a soft glow.

Robbie quickly wrapped his arm around Leo's back, speaking up quietly. "It was about Fay and the pill again, wasn't it?" Fay. The little nickname he'd given forty-eight, a quick smash between the letters that made up her number name. He wished he didn't have to lose her, not like that...

A short, hazy memory fell into his sleepy brain. It had been one day when he'd stumbled back to his dorm, his headache worse than he could remember. At least it had been skinwalker training so he didn't have to try and cool of his skin in the shower. His head was splitting as blood streamed from his nose. He'd collapsed on his bed and instantly felt the small, gentle arms wrap around him and he felt something get placed into his hands. He closed his eyes, trying to distract himself from the squeezing pain on his temples as he brought the bread up to his lips. He felt Fay gently stroke the side of his hair, bringing her hand down and running her thumb over the soft hair in front of his ears. Wow, he hadn't even taught her that. She was coming up with comforting things on her own now. He folded his eyes open and looked into her eyes, pure gold, framed by dark lashes, and felt his chest rise just a little bit.

She blinked heavily and ran her thumb lightly over his sideburns again. "Eat, Leo." She told him softly, indicating to the piece of bread in his hands. He reached up and smoothed her hair down, and she blinked at him again.

"It's not much of a life we're living, is it?"

She bit her lips together and shut those gorgeous eyes. "No. I know that now." Leo felt a prickle rush down his nose as tears came to his eyes. They needed to escape this goddamn place, she needed to get out of here, even if that meant he'd never see her again. He knew that he was being stupid in loving her, he wasn't much more than a baby himself. He knew if Robbie were there he'd get an earful that in no way was he old enough to decide something like that, that he was in 'love'.

"We can get out of here. Both of us. I promise." He said determinedly, feeling a tear slip from his eye and trail sideways down his face. She didn't respond, he could tell she didn't believe him, but she wanted to. That was the first time he'd kissed her. Hell, that had been the first time he'd kissed anybody. He'd always been the shy one, his brother the lady-killer. His first love had been ripped out from under him by the same thing that was to blame for everything that went wrong in his life.

Leo said nothing as Robbie simply hugged him tighter. "You're the strongest person I know, Leo. Stronger than dad, stronger than Cas even. Way fucking stronger than me. I just broke down and went IV when you left, what a damn coward thing to do, Lee. I couldn't deal with things and nothing was even happening to me. You're so much stronger than me, Leo."

Leo closed his eyes and remembered. When his dad broke the news about what had happened to his brother, where Robbie was, he'd flown to him right away, even though he was barely strong enough to walk on his own.

He'd tumbled into the forest, slumping down and breathing heavily, battling just to keep himself upright. He extended his arm to support himself, exposing the black tattoos that marked up his arm. He blinked into the misty space with his weary blue eyes, fighting to keep his eyelids open. He hadn't even been rescued long enough to change out of his uniform, the bright white contrasted with the earthy browns, making him glow and stand out like a gigantic white rabbit.

Leo heard a low grumble and looked to the direction it was coming from slowly, blinking heavily as he made no move to run or get up. He saw reflective eyes in the dim light, and leaves crunched at the massive footfalls as the wolf slinked toward him, his head lowered as he floated closer on his big but quiet paws, growling with a wrinkled snout as his light emerald eyes shone into veiw.

_Hey, Bobby. _

Leo shot out wearily, he noticed just the slightest of a change flicker past the creature's green eyes, and suddenly the gigantic grey wolf was charging at him, his paws pounding rythmically on the ground. Leo screwed up his face and prepared to get chewed to bits, he was too weak to fight him now. At least he'd tried. He braced himself, jerking his hands up over his heart, leaning away.

Instead of peircing teeth, a whoosh of air sped past him and lilted his hair as Robbie rapidly switched from wolf to boy, Leo felt his much stronger arms throw around him. Robbie buried his head into his brother's shoulder, holding him tightly as the skinnier, weaker brother went slack and let himself by squeezed and cried on and tousled with a tiny smile on his exhausted face. He had been the only one who had brought him back, God knew Sam, Cas and Dean had tried.

"We are this way for a reason, RJ. I can feel it. I just don't know what that reason is yet." He insisted, rubbing his eyes and sniffing softly. Robbie frowned but made sure he didn't see. He didn't believe that innocent outlook, that stupidly applied optimisim. He didn't think they were monsters for a reason, not at all, it was just a misfortune he had in his life and nothing more.

"Okay, Lee." He said quietly, even though he knew his brother could tell he still didn't believe it.

"Reason or not, Leo, I look at what you went through and I'm amazed that you're still such a great person." Robbie added softly, and he felt a tear drip onto his chest.

"You'll find someone, Lee. I promise. It doesn't take much for someone to love you."

Leo thought about everything he'd gone through in that horrible program. Every six hours, drills and training as they pushed him farther than he ever thought he could go, worked him to the bone, sometimes he didn't know if he could go on. He'd been stuck in that place for four grueling months. The only thing that ever got him through it was her.

"You need to tell dad, Leo. He'll know what to do." Robbie spoke up softly. "I'm _not_ your older brother, not really, and I don't know any more than you do. You need his help."

Leo silently pulled out of his arms and slipped off the bed, standing there for a second and priming himself, wiping the tears from his face. "This is your chance, Leo. Real time dad tries to shield us from so much, but if you ask _him_..." Leo nodded silently, finally sighing and padding his way over to the rollaway bed that Dean was lightly sleeping on.

"Dad." Leo said quietly, tears popping into his eyes again as he gently rolled his shoulder. Dean stirred but repositioned, sighing and falling back asleep. "Dad, please. I had a nightmare." Leo said, a little louder this time, and Dean took in a breath and rubbed his eyes, finally stretching out.

"What's wrong? Is that Leo?" He asked groggily. Wordlessly, Leo curled himself into a hug, fitting his head onto Dean's shoulder as he squeezed his eyes tight and squeezed his arms even tighter around him.

"That's Leo, isn't it." Dean said, wrapping his heavy limbs clumsily right back around him. He'd only known the two of them for less than a day, but felt like he knew so much about them already. Like how he could tell Robbie would never do something so open like this, but that was okay. They were just both so different, and he loved the way he could point out so much of everyone he loved in them.

"What's wrong, Leo baby? Tell me what you saw." He slurred, blinking and trying to wake up as his eyes felt sticky and shut together. He didn't know where that nickname came from, Leo baby. It just seemed to roll easily from his mouth, but it made sense. Leo was still such a child, he realized, who believed so innocently in love and good of the world.

"I want to go home now. I miss you too much." His voice broke and he pulled himself in tighter. Dean tried to read his mind and see what he had seen. He got quick swatches of what had happened in his dreams; he saw the ticker counting off animals, heard the stopwatch tick-tick-ticking, he saw flaking live coal-like skin and golden eyes blinking just inches away from him, a grid of teenagers all perfectly spaced, staring ahead, a girl with dark hair staring ahead with her mouth slightly open, a pill beginning to make it's way into her ajar mouth...

"I'm sorry, Leoniel." Dean said, lightly smoothing down his soft, light hair. He was sorry for so many things. He was sorry that he was the way he was, he was sorry heaven took him and that he let that happen, he was sorry for all the abuses he'd suffered already in his short little life. He could tell; his son had naively fallen in love in a hopeless situation. He still wanted to believe the world was a good place even though it seemed to love to torture him.

"You shouldn't be. You were the one who saved me." He said quietly. "I'm not scared anymore."

Dean was struck with a rough memory. He felt the relief that Leo felt coursing through his body when he'd finally seen his face after four months, it had been furious and splattered with drops of silver and red. His big, strong family members had branched out quickly, everyone doing their part to take down the horrible institution. Everything was pandemonium as teenagers rushed around, some of them that were controlled by the Pearl were throwing themselves at the attackers, Leo caught a glimpse of Uncle Sol rip through a group of gemlings, the sirens usually meant for calling them into inspection were blaring, screams and commands pierced the air. Dean saw his own face through Leo's memories, as he rushed forward and wrapped his now skinny and weakened son into his arms. He could barely make himself out through the distortion of tears as the kid's eyes streamed, his dad had stormed the whole damn complex to finally rescue him.

"In the morning, you'll go home. Just stay for tonight." He replied, resting his chin on his head and smiling slightly, roughing his hair near the back. What a good kid. What a strong, sweet boy. The way he was after everything, the things he still believed in... he'd fight his way through heaven right _now_ for him if he needed to. He breathed out, the air slightly moving the hairs on his head as he settled into go to sleep again. Leo hugged him like a little kid would, never letting go as he drifted off into a more pleasant, dreamless sleep.

Leo was woken up violently when he felt himself jerked awake as he was suddenly being shoved roughly as he tumbled and slid with a sharp rugburn. He snapped his eyes open to see a huge grey wolf had rammed both him and Cas off of their beds, and had with just one sweep shoved them into a small closet. Leo instantly helped Cas to sit upright as Robbie shrunk down to his human form, keeping them both behind him as he roughly slammed the closet door on themselves as a low growl was rumbling in the bottom of his throat.

"Someone's here. They're here for Cas." He growled, and Leo saw his golden wings were erect and the feathers were sharp and spread apart, bristling with anticipation. He could almost hear his brother's heart beating fearfully as he breathed in and out. Long, wolfish hairs were standing on end down his back and at the nape of his neck, he was probably so panicked that he hadn't fully returned to his human form.

"What...but, I don't understand..." Leo whimpered, keeping Cas close to him as they stayed behind Robbie. This wasn't supposed to happen now, they would only come for them later, when they were sixteen.

"I felt them. It was the same as before, Lee. They thought Cas was alone, they couldn't tell that we were outside or older." He stood completely still as his fierce anticipation almost seemed to tinge the dark, mothballish air in the closet. "Give me your blade, Leo. Now." He growled, shoving his open palm at him.

"I...Robbie, you aren't sure, you don't need to hurt yourself-" Robbie growled in frustration and Leo saw the grey hairs on his back grow longer and more numerous before his eyes. "I'm not fucking around, Lee! You _know _I don't have one, so godammit, give it to me now!" He hissed, and Leo quickly felt the weight drop into his hand as he handed it off quickly to Robbie, who wasted no time as he grabbed it by the sharp blade tightly, cutting into his palm as he instantly began to use the dark blood to draw the repellent sigil on the back of the closet door. The smell of blood and iron overwhelmed the small space.

Cas groaned, reaching out in concern as he vaguely registered the smell of blood. "Keep him quiet!" Robbie ordered Leo, and he promptly put his hand over Cas's mouth, hugging the bony body to his chest as he tried to keep him quiet. "It's okay, we got you." He whispered quietly into his ear, as he looked up with fearful eyes and tried to make out in the dim light his brother painting the sigil on the door, which he was doing with alarming accuracy. He realized now why he had seen those lupine hairs on his back; he'd kept pieces of the wolf to aid him, specifically the night-vision eyes. He was getting better.

The three felt like all time was suspended as they heard footsteps bump outside the door, searching the room. Robbie had every muscle tensed and ready to spring as he kept the blade tightly in his grip, shielding his father and his brother behind his back. Leo squeezed his eyes shut as he kept his hand clamped over Cas's slack mouth, trying to bite back his whimpers that he felt rising from his chest, and trying to keep his frightened breathing from being too loud.

"Castiel? Robert, Leoniel? It's okay, it's me." They heard Dean's distinct voice from behind the door, but none of them fell for it. It clearly wasn't him, he was saying things all wrong, and as Robbie reached out and felt the presence of their graces, it was all off. There were three, two of them pure angels, one of them a gemling, and they were completely foreign to him. The gemling had to have been a shapeshifter, wearing Dean's body to try and get them to come out. The footsteps drew closer, and the tight, suspended feeling instantly shattered as Robbie kicked the door open, and slammed his hand onto the middle of the bloody sigil.

White light burst into the room, and the two pure angels disappeared. Leo gripped tightly onto Castiel and fought to keep him in place, pulling from the part of him that the sigil was useless on, like the human, phoenix and skinwalker to keep him grounded. Robbie burst from the closet, catching the gemling who was appearing as Dean by complete surprise. He thrust the blade into their stomach, yanking it out and seeing the white embers flit around his arm and die out, splattering his arms with red and silver. The person crumpled over and melted back into their regular form, Robbie breathed heavily over them as he tried to calm down, keeping his hands on his knees as he pulled the wolf hairs and his now-relaxed wings back into his body, straightening up and breathing slowly. Leo took his hand stiffly from Castiel's mouth, he had been keeping it there unconsciously out of fright.

"Leoniel..." Castiel groaned, trying to reach out feverishly. "It's okay, Cas. It's okay, we took care of it." He gently helped the man to stand as he clambered out of the closet, looking up at shock to his brother, who was now staring at him with a relieved expression in his eyes. Leo dropped Cas gently into his ring of blankets and rushed up to Robbie, throwing his arms around him. Robbie stood completely still underneath him.

"I promised I would protect you, Lee. Stop getting so worked up, I took care of it. You won't ever have to do it by yourself, I'll always be there."

Leo squeezed tighter, only ripping away when he heard the front door fly open. Sam and Dean ran into the room, frightened looks on their faces. They'd gone out to get breakfast together, they had no idea that something bad might happen. Sam had suddenly gotten a flash of insight, a feeling of fear that Cas had transmitted to him briefly, and they'd scrambled to come back.

"Is everything okay? Is anyone hurt?" Dean fired off, whipping his head around to take in his surroundings. Robbie was standing there was a dripping blade in his hand, an intense glint coming from his green eyes, Leo had jumped behind him at the noise but was now coming out from behind his back with a wide-eyed look. Cas was placed on the bed, and he was groaning lightly and beginning to thrash about.

"It's all okay, dad. They tried to come for him, but we fought them off." Dean's face dropped into one of relief as he ran his hand down his face. He'd been so stupid, thinking it would be fine to go off and get breakfast with Sam while no one watched over his sleeping kids and sickly Cas. God, he was such an idiot. At least they were safe now.

He dropped in exhaustion into a chair in the kitchen, rubbing his face. Sam sat down next to him, and Robbie quickly wiped Leo's blade off on his shirt and ambled over as well, sinking into the chair directly across from Dean. There was a silence as they all just tried to calm down and slow their heart rates.

"I don't know if it's true that you are what you are for a reason," Dean started quietly, sighing and running his hand down his face again. "But it just saved your lives."

Robbie bit his lips together, flitting his eyes off to the side. No matter how much he hated to admit it, he knew he was right. Without being a werewolf, there was no way he could have shoved them into that tiny closet in time without his massive shape. He wouldn't have been able to draw the sigil without the nightvision either, and if he hadn't probably all three of them would be dead by now, or worse, absorbed into the training program before they were born.

Dean spoke up again, more fiercely and determined this time. "I'm going to do anything I can for both of you, I promise. I'm _going _to find the cure for the Pearl, Leo, I promise. I'm going to try as hard as I can to find the cure for you, Robbie. I'm sorry that heaven takes you, Leo, but I'm going to work as hard as I can to get you back out."

Leo came up and stood next to Robbie, sadness pouring from his deep blue eyes. "I know you will, dad. You already have. And now you're doing so much more." He extended his hand with all his fingers spread apart, and Robbie reached up and clasped it, the one time _he_ needed to be toted around. He pushed the chair backward as he stretched his strong legs to stand up straight, holding his brother's hand and standing next to him, they were the same height.

"I wish I could change everything. I wish I could protect you, from all of this." Dean admitted, hating that he could see the pain behind their young eyes. "I'm sorry if I messed up, if I'm a horrible dad."

Leo smiled, happiness finally coming through his almost-tears. "Of course not." He didn't need to say more, and Dean felt his chest rise at the way that they were both looking at him. To them, he was their hero, the man who stormed heaven for them and was searching the ends of the earth for the cures for what they most needed. Dean saw what they were doing; they were getting ready to go home. It was just three weeks until they'd be here for real, and they'd done all they could. And like Leo had said, he wasn't scared anymore. Dean was going to protect them when they got home.

"Wait!" He said quickly when he saw Leo's pure black wings pull from his back and spread out to their full length, getting ready to fly them both through time. Both of them cocked their heads slightly to the left simultaneously, and Dean felt a sad smile pull onto his lips. There was more Cas.

"What is it?" Leo asked in his boyish, rough little voice, a confused look on his freckled face.

"The twenty-seventh, right? That's when I get to see you again?" He asked quietly. Leo nodded, while Robbie broke into a bright smile.

"Sorry in advance for the diapers and spit-up and shit." He commented light-heartedly with a tiny smile, as Leo's wings spread up over both of their heads again.

"No swearing, kid." Dean replied with a sad smile, and with a flash and a great whoosh of air both of them had vanished, and it was just Dean, Sam and Cas again. Dean stared blankly at the space that his kids had stood just a split second ago, almost still not registering that all of this had happened. That he'd met them already, that they were so perfect, little meldings of everyone he loved. It didn't matter that they'd absorbed monster abilities, it didn't matter to him anymore. Not at all.

"That was so bizarre." Sam commented in a blank voice, doing the same as Dean and staring at the blank space with wide eyes. "They call me Uncle Sammy."

Dean forced himself to snap out of it, and he gave his brother a smirk as he looked back at him. "They do call you that, don't they? I taught 'em well."

Sam did the same, trying to blink it off and come back to reality. "That's the dumbest name I've ever heard!" He joked, to which Dean quipped "Well, at least they don't call you Uncle Sam like a damn founding father of the United States!"

Sam shot him a perfect bitchface. "You should really brush up on your third grade history facts, Dean." Dean waved the comment away and went to stand up and check on Castiel, who was tossing somewhat in his little nest.

"You alright, Cas?" He asked, finally using that gentle tone of voice he'd abandoned last time they'd been together. Sam smiled slightly. There he was.

"They're gone," He said feverishly, sadly. "Not forever. For a few weeks." Dean felt another rush of happiness and anticipation when he thought about how he'd see their little faces in just a few weeks. "Hang in there, Cas. You'll get to see them again soon."

* * *

_Hello! Argghh, little bit of a block this week. I always do this to myself where every charcater has a gigantic backstory and I don't know if I should explain all of it and I get overwhelmed, please give me feedback because I don't know if you guys are interested in hearing about the reforms heaven has made such as the Lighthouse/the Jeweler/Conversion because everything is so complex and I don't know if you find it interesting! If you don't or do I'll probably elaborate accordingly. _

_I didn't like this chap as much as my other ones (sorry) but I have my main storyline again in the next ones :) please review! _

_Thank you for your review CalamitySnidget! Brightened my day so much! Thanks to new followers or favoriters Velbeth, astra7791 & Angeluz66! :D_


	16. Finally

It had been a hard few days since Robbie and Leo had left, and Baby still hadn't returned to carry Cas back to heaven. Dean began to get extremely worried, Cas seemed to be more restless than usual, and he wasn't sure if Leo and Robbie were paining him, or if it was something else. It seemed different this time.

He was still hesistant to show extreme kindness to Cas when Sam was there, he still felt that cold shadow of guilt that was so hard to get rid of. One morning when Sam had left for breakfast he decided to ask.

"Hey, Cas." Dean said gently, coming up to the man who had a distressed look on his face. He hadn't held a conversation with him since he'd returned to meet their kids, he didn't know if he was strong enough to be able to. "What's wrong? Is it the twins? Is there...is there anything I can do?"

Castiel quickly blinked open his eyes and shook his head slowly, Dean noticed a thin gleam of sweat on his cheeks. "No. No, they are fine. It's my brother-" he paused and pressed his lips together for a second before continuing. "My younger brother Leviniel."

"You have a bond with him?" He asked. But how was that making him sick?

"Yes. He was captured by demons. Now they are torturing him, he is sending out cries for help. Soloviel is trying to rescue him, but he is unreachable. He's dying, and it's slow." Cas looked like he felt a rush of pain as he closed his eyes.

"And...does that hurt you?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking into his face. Cas sighed, nuzzling his head into a clumped up blanket on the edge of his nest.

"Yes." He breathed, and without thinking, Dean reached up and gently rubbed his shoulder. "It's very painful. Once a bond is made, a part of the two angels gets interchanged. It lives inside both of them, becomes a part of them. When an angel dies, all of their grace dies, no matter were it resides. I can feel that part of me slowly dying."

Dean blinked at him in disbelief. Wow, so that explained why bonding glowed like that, it was an exchange of grace. Then something else occured to him.

"So if you or Sam dies, I'd be able to tell?" Dean asked.

"Yes. A part inside dies, it feels empty. Like the emptiness a human feels when a loved one dies, only worse, because it is alarmingly physical." Dean felt his stomach drop. He _never_ wanted to experience that firsthand.

Suddenly Cas cried out and gripped the blankets tightly. "Cas?" The name slipped easily from Dean's mouth as he found himself grabbing for his shoulder. Suddenly, all of his muscles seemed to loosen as he dejectedly melted into the matress. He looked up at Dean sadly, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears, and he didn't have to say anything for him understand what had happened. His brother was gone.

Dean climbed into the ring of blankets, careful not to mess up the carefully placed walls. Cas shut his eyes slowly and began to slide towards him, he needed him. He was so tired, so weak, so sad after his brother had died and after he saw that his kids didn't exactly have perfect lives either.

Dean pressed his chest to Cas's back, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head in the crook of his neck, when a bright heat began coursing through his body. Cas wasn't just his friend anymore. Even though it had been on accident, they were mated now and Cas was pregnant.

He gathered Cas closer into his arms silently, feeling the sadness Cas felt through their bond, it was so strong it almost felt like it was perfuming the air. He brought his hand up and smoothed down Cas's dark head of hair as Cas closed his eyes, silent and shocked, so off gaurd that tears had failed to come to his eyes.

He felt his soul blaring with heat, throbbing. He knew this had something to do with this overflow of angels hormones now that he was going to be a dad. He wanted to take Castiel _now_, something he should have done a long time ago.

"Are you feeling okay, Cas?" He asked, gently smudging a tear away from Cas's cheek as they finally began to fall.

"It's going to be okay." Dean said gently, he felt Cas's soft breaths push against him. Cas didn't reply, Dean wasn't exactly expecting him to. He tried to curb this intense heat he was feeling deep in his grace, knowing that right now wasn't exactly the best time to make love to his bond-mate.

Something was wrong as he felt himself beginning to lose control, he began to kiss the back of Cas's neck and pushed on to his face, his knees climbing to plant beside Cas's waist, and the angel seemed surprised as Dean kissed him fiercely on the lips, pressing down hard with his own, sucking on his bottom lip and nipping it slightly. He wrapped his arms to be underneath Cas's back, pulling Castiel up until both of them were upright in their little circle of blankets, and Dean finally pulled away with a slight sucking noise and looked at Cas in confusion. He wasn't sure where that intense burst of emotion had even come from.

"Sorry," He mumbled, searching his bright blue eyes. "I don't..I don't know what came over me just then."

Cas leaned forward and pressed his forehead to his. Dean's eyes fluttered closed, heat felt like it was radiating off of him. Just that little touch of their heads was _killing_ him, as he felt blood pooling down below his stomach.

"It's our bond." Cas explained. "We both are expecting. The bond becomes very..heated at this time. Angels aren't meant to be alone with fledglings."

Dean felt way too hot, almost feverishly so, as he kept his eyes closed. "Something's not right-" He started, when he felt something not with his skin but with his grace. Some kind of strange substance, something invisible but that emitted pure _Cas_ was pushing hard against his own grace.

"What is-" Dean started, but cut himself off as he swallowed back a moan as the thing, it sounded weird but he wanted to call it an aura, pushed even harder against his body, it felt like he was being smothered by it as it pushed hard against his skin, making him blisteringly hot.

"You have to let me in." Cas instructed as Dean had his eyes squeezed shut, his back was arched as his hands were fisted in the sheets. He panted as the thing constricted his whole body even more, squeezing him from all sides. "This is the angel's way, Dean. Let me take you."

Dean sputtered out a gasp as the substance finally came crashing in, breaking the floodgates like water as it rushed into his grace and filled him up, he felt his own grace pushing back and it broke through Cas's vessel after a moment of pent up energy, and Dean almost blacked out as he fell forward into Cas's waiting arms, burying his face in his Cas-smelling neck.

Angel sex was wayyy better than the human stuff, Dean concluded.

He felt Cas's power surging inside of him, wrapping around his own substance and rolling around delicously, exploring every inch of the light as it coiled around, melting into his soul and _becoming_ him. Dean was Cas. Dean is Cas. Dean has always been Cas. They were the same person in two different bodies.

He felt his own light exploring Cas, becoming him, melting into him and finally receding, pulling back into his own chest. Dean didn't pay much attention to what his body was doing, but he knew that there was a rythm after they'd first broke their graces through each other.

Cas's grace throbbed into his own, pushing hard into him and stroking Dean's light like a wave as it pulled back, only to surge even deeper into him the second time around. Dean's head was spinning, he couldn't focus on just one aspect at once as his own grace pushed and pulled into Cas, but he knew that physically, his hands were gripped on Cas's waist, and his lips moving and working with Cas's as the rhythm kept beating on steadily like a heart.

All four things were moving at the same exact time, two graces and two bodies, a sycronization so perfect that Dean felt himself beginning to lose consciousness at the overwhelming perfection of the rythm. He gripped Cas's waist, the Dean hovering over Cas with his knees beside Cas's hips, and then his Dean's hands were perched on his back, his nails biting into the skin and scraping hard down his neck and over his shoulderblades. Cas pushed the deepest into his grace as he could, and Dean felt a groan explode from his lungs.

"Cas..please.." He panted, scratching his back even harder. "Cas!"

He felt the flood of grace push into his grace and stay there for a second longer than it had been previously, and Dean saw stars as black shaded over his vision for a second. Then, he coiled his own grace and shoved hard into Cas, both with his grace and with his body, he now had his hands gripping the angel's hips as he pushed hot and deep inside him, moving with the rhythm as Cas angled his hips to let him in even more, Dean pushed in surprisingly deep as Cas did the same with his grace, the foriegn grace was completely expanded into every single nook of Dean's own as the angel held the burning light inside him, too long to not be the last one.

Dean's breath hitched in his throat as he was frozen with Cas's grace, Cas was holding it and building almost to the point were it was unbearable, before the angel finally pulled all of his light out. Dean finally gained control again and exploded with his body deep into Cas. He collapsed onto him, panting and blinded temporarily as stars swirled and popped in his vision. He barely was conscious for half of what he did, but damn, it had been amazing.

He felt Cas's arms around him, Dean felt that he could barely move a muscle after that. His grace was throbbing and still hot, but the heat felt used, like it had been spent already. He gulped for air, feeling Cas tenderly run his hands down his back and through his hair.

Dean had thought he'd be the one in control, especially because Cas had been a virgin. But he'd been dead wrong.

"Dean? Are you alright?" He asked gently, feeling his forehead and pushing his hair upward on his forehead. "I was consumed by the bond. I'm sorry, I forgot that you're still part human. Are you hurt?"

Dean opened his eyes, his head was still spinning and Cas's concerned yet flushed face still looked a little blurry as black swirled in his vision and his ears rang. "I'm just fine," He somewhat slurred, feeling drunk. "Holy shit."

"Relax for now." Cas urged him, pulling him into his chest and lying down again, curling protectively around him. "I forgot you are part human. I may have been too forceful."

Dean panted and gulped in air. If that was what angel sex would be like every time, mark him the fuck down. "That was...god, Cas, where have you been all my life?" He stammered, feeling a laugh bubble up into his chest. "Just...holy shit."

They stayed lying there for a moment, Cas gently stroking Dean's hair as he rested his head on his shoulder, Cas was trailing down to his neck and slowly healing the deep scratches he had made on Dean's back that Dean hadn't even been aware of. "Cas.." Dean was mumbling feverishly, his body and virginal, part-human grace still reeling to recover. "Cas, seriously, why have we waited so long?"

He tried not to think about that Cas would be giving birth soon, that's why they were in this little blanket-nest. And he tried not to think about the signs, that Cas was most likely going to have servere complications with the birth. Something "not good", as his sons had told him.

Dean was surprised when Cas suddenly picked up his free hand, weakly leading his arm to his own chest wordlessly.

"Cas..?" Dean asked open-endedly, and he let his arm go limp as Cas led it, finally placing his hand on his collarbone. Dean felt his fingertips brush a very hot spot, the skin felt so much hotter than normal skin should feel, even more than a forehead burning with a fever. His finger slid down, he felt the strange heat cut off at the border, and his finger slid a little further on cold, regular skin before it met another heated spot, this one was around the area over his heart. He was confused for a second, before he was hit with insight.

"Oh, my god. Is that them?" Dean asked quietly. He couldn't even make a coherent thought for a second. _Wow_. That was all he could think.

Cas nodded again, lightly dropping the wrist he held.

"It doesn't hurt." Cas assured him quickly. "It feels like...like a glow." He said happily, smiling slightly and closed his eyes. Dean looked down at him, he looked so content, like he didn't want to ever leave this position. _I love him, _he thought loudly, the words falling into his mind very similarly to the 'even better' incident. He felt his chest rise and he squeezed him closer. He felt happier than he had in a long, long time. Cas's arms wrapped around him and Dean pressed a quick, loving kiss onto his lips, something sweet to just let him know how he felt.

"I love you, Cas." He breathed, his breaths still labored from the soul melding or whatever the hell it was called. "We'll be the most kickass mates in Heaven. Just you wait."

"I love you too, Dean." He whispered back, curling around Dean and holding him to his chest. Dean also never thought he'd be the little spoon, like _ever_. But here he was, and it felt unbearably nice to just lie there with Cas.

He hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep until he was being shaken awake by Baby, both him and Sam were staring at him when he opened his eyes.

"Hhguh!" Dean woke with a start, jumping as he saw two pairs of eyes on him. Cas was no longer around him, and he felt cold where his touch was gone. Baby instead had his arm slung over his shoulder, his bright yellow wings out and stretched over his head, ready to take flight.

"God, how long was I out? What time is it?" Dean asked groggily, running a hand down his face.

"It's around three. Baby's taking Cas back to heaven, we just thought you might want to say goodbye." Sam explained, looking at him quizzically. Dean didn't understand why he was looking at him that way, but decided to just ignore it.

"Uh, yeah." He slid to sit upright at the foot of the bed, knocking a few of the blankets from the little wall down to the ground. Castiel looked at him with happy blue eyes.

Baby spoke up, laughing. "Cas told me you two consumated your angel-marriage."

Dean instantly flushed a bright red. "We..." God, Baby, not in front of Sammy!

"Don't look like that, Dean! It's a perfectly natural thing, especially because Cas is carrying. I'm surprised you two didn't sooner." Baby laughed. "I knew you'd hold out until the bond forced you two off your asses to do something."

"God! Sol, I'm literally right here!" Sam shot out, covering his ears and flushing a bright red. "C'mon, man."

"Sorry, Sammy." Baby laughed, and gripped Cas a little tighter, getting ready to go back to heaven.

"Bye, Cas. Keep them and yourself safe, alright?" Dean crawled on his knees forward on the bed, he curled a hand onto the nape of Cas's neck and kissed him softly. "Come back soon, okay?" His voice surprised himself at how tender it sounded.

Cas nodded slowly. "I will. Goodbye, Dean." He smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too." Dean replied, his face dropping into a frown as Baby and Cas then vanished, leaving him looking into empty air.

"I didn't know how long you'd be an ass and hold out on Cas," Sam laughed, and Dean stuck his tongue out at him.

"Now _you_ I hate." He laughed.

"Jesus, Dean, I swear sometimes you can be so blind." Sam smirked at him. "I knew you were lying to me when you said you didn't love him."

Dean rolled his eyes but couldn't help the bright smile plastered on his face, and he sat back on the bed. He shivered suddenly. He felt funny. He tried lying down, but everything felt so cold and insecure and _open_. God, he felt _really_ funny. He shivered violently, his teeth chattering loudly.

He found himself pulling the blankets that had fallen to the floor back up onto the bed. _Yeah, that's fine. You just don't want them on the floor, that's normal_. He suddenly found himself pushing the blankets all around him, readjusting the walls that had started to sag. _Aw, shit_.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing?" Sam laughed, Dean looked up at him mid-tuck with a surprised glance.

"Uh, making sure this looks good, you know, for when Cas comes back." He tried to cover it up quickly, but it sure as hell didn't fool Sam.

"Sure. Just admit it, you're building one too." He crossed his arms and laughed.

"Am not!" He jumped in defense, feeling his cheeks burning a little. When Cas had done it it was a little weird, but to have it effecting _him_?

He jumped up to have a quick tussle with Sam, but right when he exited the walls he felt a rush of feeling extremely exposed. He stopped, shivered and crawled back to the small nest in defeat. Sam began roaring in laughter at him.

"Shut the hell up, Sam!" Dean shot back, flipping him off as he pressed his reddening face into the wall of blankets.

_Hey, Sam_. Baby's words easily floated into Sam's mind. Sam smiled and looked at Dean one more time before turning away to talk to Baby. _Hey, Kaz_.

_Dean's going to be pretty tired after all that, but just- _

_Baby! Gross! _Sam screwed up his face and scowled_. This talk better be for a good reason. _

Sam could tell Baby was laughing._ Just make sure he doesn't do anything crazy before the boys are born. You know, like bachelor party kind of mentality._

Sam chuckled lightly and looked at Dean, who had fallen asleep again in the ring of blankets and was out like a light. He hated to admit it, but his brother looked pretty cute like that. _Yeah_, _I don't think he's going to._


	17. Burnt

Blue eyes flew open in shock. Cas had been resting, obviously unable to sleep, as he tried to clear his mind. He was hyperactively aware to what the small things residing in his chest were doing, mainly just nibbling on his surrounding energy. He suddenly felt a huge bought of energy leave, being sucked right into the two small stars as sharp pains shot through his chest. He blinked with startled blue eyes. No, this couldn't be happening. There was still supposed to be a month left.

He gritted his teeth as he felt another stab of pain, like someone had taken a blade to his grace from the inside. _Soloviel!_ He cried out desperately, as he clutched his chest as another rush of pain seized him. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a deep breath. No, this was exactly what had happened last time, when they'd tried to rise early. It wasn't time...it wasn't supposed to be now...He felt a strong hand lift the back of his head and slide under his knees.

"Cas." His little brother said in a scarily serious tone. He strained to open his eyes, looking like he was staring directly at the sun as he looked at his brother's face. His grey-blue eyes were twinkling sadly, and his eyebrows were pulled together in an expression that was a mix between compassion and sympathy.

"No. It's too soon, Sol-" He screwed up his face, suppressing a cry as he felt like he was being ripped apart. "It's not time, I'm not-" This time he did cry out, and he felt himself be lifted and brought into Baby's chest. "I see them. They're big enough this time, Cas. They're unembedding themselves, detangling from your grace. They'll start to surface soon."

He cried out again, his body instinctively curling into itself, and he breathed raggedly. "Soloviel, no. Leave me here. He cant see me like this, he can't see me d-" He broke into a scream that wavered as he sobbed from the pain. Baby brought his thin body closer, holding his head to rest on his shoulder.

"You need your Other with you. You need Dean." Cas felt tears slip from under his eyelids. "I'm dying for them. Soloviel, I'm dying. I don't want him to see me d-" He screamed out again as his chest felt like it was being ripped in half, echoes of pain rippling through the rest of his grace.

He opened his eyes and saw that he was in the backseat of the car, it was dark outside. Baby held him with strong arms, and he curled toward him and sobbed, trying to keep quiet, gripping tightly onto his black shirt.

"Dean, Sam, it's happening." Baby announced, and Dean slammed on the brakes with shock. "_No_! Keep going, we need to find the nearest building." Baby demanded, turning his attention to Cas as he stroked his hair, his face was twisted into a grimace as the car's engine began to grow louder and louder, he looked down at him as the streetlamps passed yellow light across his face in waves.

"Hang in there. It's all going to be over soon, you'll get to see their little faces. Don't you want that?" Baby tried to soothe him, and he groaned and tightened his grip on his shirt.

"I can see our species memories, our insticts..." He screwed up his face, shuddering. "This is not normal. This should not feel this way."

"I'm going to save you, all three of you. I promise." Baby said in a dangerously serious voice. Castiel screamed out again, he looked guilty instantly, this time his true voice leaked through and a window splintered and cracked, shattering to spiderwebs of white.

"I'm sorry...Dean, the car..." He managed to squeeze out. "Hmmmf!" He shut his mouth and his face twisted into a deep grimace, and a tear slipped over his wrinkled skin. "Cas, you're worried about the car? Jesus Christ-just, I don't care. Scream as loudly as you need to." Dean felt his chest seize with fear. Oh, god. This was finally happening, and even though he'd been anticipating for less than a month now he still felt terrified.

"There! That church!" Sam called out from the front seat, and Dean slammed on the pedal, the engine roared as they gained speed rapidly. He squealed into the empty lot, and he ripped out of the car, sprinting to get to the back. Baby just knew instantly what he needed to do, as he passed the bony and weak Cas into Dean's waiting arms.

"Dean, stay with him. You're the Other, and only you can bring him enough strength." Baby said, his grey-blue eyes glittering with the beginnings of tears. Cas supressed a scream and gripped onto his shirt, twisting the material with an iron grip.

They all began rapidly for the church, Sam got the side door to fly open without even touching it. Dean felt Cas's body tense as he swallowed back screams. "What are you not telling me, Soloviel?" He demanded, feeling frenzied. He knew right away Baby was hiding something from him.

"Naomi..she said they had no concern for the hosts, they only cared for their outcome, their weapons. She said some did survive, but.." He bit back tears. "There is no cure for them, the babies, only the werewolf part. There is no cure for Cas's strength. We only can hope that he's strong enough..."

They burst into the church and Dean stumbled to the front, sitting down on the three marble steps up to the podium and held tightly to Cas, who was breathing heavily and hissing through the teeth in his grimace. He looked down at his face that was twisted in pain and felt his heart jerk in his chest. This was his fault, and now he was dying. That kind face he loved so much looked so pitiful, he felt tears coming to his eyes. He wasn't going to let him die. He _couldn't_.

"Hang on, Cas. Just hold on, okay?" He fired off in a panicked voice, as Cas looked up at him with pitiful eyes as his chest heaved and he screamed, his voice breaking a few stainglass windows. He took his hand off of his clothes and went to grip Dean's wrist instead, and with a distraught expression Dean held his hand back. "I love you, Cas. Hang in there. I love you."

He reached up with his other hand and desperately clawed at his shirt, ripping the buttons down and exposing his bare chest. Dean looked at it in shock: he saw two very bright lights underneath the surface of his skin, one by his heart area and another just diagonal to that, by his collarbone, the little spots of warmth he'd touched before. Dean could see shadows of his skeleton as his skin glowed a bright pink-orange, like when a powerful flashlight is pressed to it.

"Push them up, Cas. They're not surfacing fast enough." Baby instructed him quickly, lightly placing a hand on his chest as if to gauge their depth. Cas screwed his face up and concentrated, but cried out in pain again and tears ran down his face.

"The Souls. Leviathan. It effected me, my grace is too-" He screamed again, bursting the marble around them into radiating cracks. Baby reached out and gently cupped his clammy cheek into his hand.

"I know it's gotten thicker and less fluid, Cas, but you have to try." Baby commanded him. No wonder it was so painful for him; the millions of souls he'd hosted before had changed his grace, making it tougher, like a bad callous that never went away. He hadn't forseen that to effect him, and he had no idea what could happen.

Dean looked at him empathetically, he watched him concentrate and push hard again, his face twisting into a grimace. Baby watched intently as one of the lights began to get brighter, steam rising from Cas's skin where the hot light was surfacing, but it slowed to a halt just before breaking the surface, steam rushing and curling into the air.

Suddenly, the air around Cas's back began to waver like heatwaves, and suddenly his wings bristled into view, each feather razor-sharp and raven-colored, a dark black with sheens of purple and indigo. His facial expression dropped into pure exhaustion as his grimace vanished and he went completely slack, the hand that held Dean's dropping as he sunk into his arms entirely.

"No. Oh, god. No." Baby knelt by Cas's side, feeling the wings to make sure they had really appeared in this dimension. "He's too weak to disguise his wings...this is bad. This is very bad."

Dean and Sam felt their stomachs drop, and Sam came up and worriedly felt Cas's forehead. "He's burning up," he said, knitting his eyebrows together. Baby came up and examined his chest. "The last one is not surfacing fast enough. They've both detangled themselves, but one's not rising."

Cas rose to semi-consciousness for a second, he curled his back and he pulled one of his wings to rest on Dean's back. He didn't look like he was trying anymore, like he was willing to just have all three of them be gone forever.

"Cas, push him!" Baby demanded angrily, noticing that it appeared he'd given up. This was the final stretch, and after a whole grueling year he was willing to give up just millimeters away? His first clear tears trailed down Baby's face. _No_. He was _not_ going to lose them, not after he failed with Leviniel, not after he'd failed too many times to do his damn job. He jammed his hand next to the bright skin, cupping underneath and helping guide the light up.

Finally, a chink of bright white illuminated the room as the first star finally broke the skin, and Baby quickly worked to yank the orb of light out from its imbedded place over his collarbone. He was running out of time, he could tell. Something about Cas's dark wings felt odd, he didn't know what.

"Sam!" He cried out, and shoved the star at him, which he accepted quickly with a distraught expression. Baby suddenly got a look of disbelief on his face, and whipped his head to look behind him. The wings, that odd feeling had intensified, and now a crackling noise had filled the air, and Cas's dark black wings had started to emit intense heat, shimmering, distorted air all around them. Bright orange cracks began to split up the black with gut-wrentching tearing sounds, looking like molten lava shining through the layers of solidified rock. Cas still had a slack expression, he didn't even show an inkling of pain in his face, even though what was happening to him looked excruciating.

Dean looked on with a shocked expression. The wing was burning into his back, hurting him, but he never even showed he possessed the idea of letting go. He wrapped up Cas even tighter. "Cas, I love you. Please. You have to keep trying."

"What's happening? How do we get this one out?" Dean asked Baby this time, his voice panicked.

"I have to improvise. Sam, Dean, you're still part human. Cover your eyes." He whipped out his blade and leaned over Cas, pressing his left hand onto the marble and holding the silver blade just over his chest. "Cas, I'm sorry."

He dug the blade into his chest, and Cas's screams blew out every window as light erupted out, kicking out in a ring-shaped blast, tumbling pews and ripping up tiles, breaking the wooden banisters and instantly vaporizing the holy water basin in the middle of the hall.

Baby reached into the hottest point of the erupting white, yanking out the deeply placed star. The bright light had disinigrated his vessel's entire skin and muscle, as he rushed to heal the skeleton hand that held the small ball of grace as the light began to close, the beams tightening as Dean began to unconciously heal the gaping hole in his chest.

"Dean!" Baby cried out, as the sound of a crackling fire intensified as Cas's wings finally burst to ignite along the edges, burning and sending fingers of reddish-orange flame licking into the air. He rushed to push the star into Dean's outstretched hands, just as the flames whooshed to a higher intensity, moving in to the center of the black mass of feathers.

Dean watched the sickly, slack face in disbelief, flickering firelight playing across his pale cheeks, as he felt a fire hotter than anything he'd ever felt brand into his back, the heat reaching down to his ribs and the marrow in his vertebrae. He never let go as he watched in shock, his arms curling protectively around him. He watched as Baby shoved the last star at him, the bright flames blazing around him in a ring.

Cas was dying, this he knew from the countless charred wingprints he'd seen before, he'd never had the sight to see them ignite and burn out like this. There wasn't much of his wings left at all. Maybe he was already dead. He felt that little peice of Cas that lived in him start to dim and die. Maybe his kids had lied. He felt that tiny piece of Cas inside him begin to shrink, fading in strength as it wavered weakly. Was that it?

The fire made a trail straight up into the air, shooting up to the ceiling as Baby pulled Cas back to heaven as quickly as he could, the flames dying into embers after a few seconds, falling down on Dean's shoulders as they faded away.

Dean started in disbelief at the singed half-wing print on the floor in front of his feet, just the black sooty ghost of the tops of his wings could be seen. And the other half was on Dean, blistering his skin and burning so deep it was exposing his charred bones. He stared numbly at the charred print on the ground, so shocked that tears failed to come to his eyes.

He suddenly was aware of something warm in his hands, and slowly lowered his pain-filled eyes to see. It was a bright white star, resting in his palms, and as he watched the light expanded and grew larger into a familiar shape, until just the glowing outline of a human child could be seen. It solidifed into the right colors, a healthy baby-skin pink with wisps of white-blonde hair. The whole baby was so tiny he could fit into Dean's cupped palms with just a bit of overspill. It was curled up on its belly, resting its soft, fat cheek on Dean's thumb, with his curled, chubby back exposed, and sprouting from it were tiny, pitch black wings, the same size as a monarch butterfly's, they consisted of soft, fluffy black down instead of sleek, shiny feathers. The baby somewhat nuzzled into Dean's palm, smacking his tiny lips together as his baby wings shuffled in tiny movements.

Dean knew he should feel happy, but he felt disgusted. Cas was dead, he knew it. Something had changed it, the past was changed. Cas was dead, and it was all these babies faults.

"Sam. Take this thing away from me. Now." He commanded, averting his eyes as he felt disgust climb into his chest. Sam sensed his urgency and quickly lifted the other baby gently from his palms, and he kept both resting on his shoulders, securing them by their bottoms with his large hands as the peeped over his broad shoulders.

Dean brought his hands up to bury his face in them, and his back screamed in protest as he felt like the very sinews of his shoulderblades were exposed to the air. "He's gone, Sam. Cas is dead, and I'm left with...I'm left with the horrible creatures who killed him." He explained hollowly. "Get them out of my sight."

Sam narrowed his eyes, anger climbing into his chest. "No. No, Dean. These are_your_ kids, not mine. Whether Cas is dead or not, it doesn't matter. He's gone. _You_are their dad, you need to take care of them."

"I don't want to even look at them." Dean said coldly, sadness like bile spilling up into his throat. He swallowed the lump in his throat, he hadn't even realized that tears had started to dribble down his face.

"Too fucking bad!" Sam spat, taking the little ones and shoving them to Dean's chest. Dean's arms instinctively curled inwardly on them, and he looked down with a destroyed look in his eyes, his face was void of emotion as if his whole world had been crushed. He watched the newborns in his arms unemotionally, as if the whole thing was a very uninteresting movie.

The white-haired baby slowly opened its eyes, and they were a clear, light blue, a color bright and vivid as window cleaner, the bright orbs were so large compared to his small, round face. Dean looked on with a detached expression as the little one blinked quickly into his father's face and had the stereotypical look of a surprised baby.

"It's not their fault, Dean. You can't blame them for all the problems, blame heaven. Blame that awful experiment program. Not them, Dean. They're just babies, and they're going to have a damn rough life ahead of them. You've seen that firsthand, remember? _They need a dad who loves them."_

He thought about Robbie, leaning on the back of the leather seat with his arms folded under his head, the way self-hatred poured from his eyes as he leaned into Dean's apologetic palm on his cheek. The fact that Leo had made it drizzle from his nightmares as he slept, waking up gasping after reliving that torturous training program, still believing he was a strange creature for a reason. Dean had been so naive in believing his kids could have normal, happy lives. Sam was right; if _anything_could be good in their lives that were already cursed, goddammit, he would make sure it would happen.

Dean lowered his gaze and a tear dripped from his eye. He silently and gently stroked the blonde baby's ultrasoft, round head, not looking at him as he downcast his eyes. The other baby, who was just a tiny bit larger, began to stir, nuzzling against Dean's chest for warmth, his downy pure gold wings flapping in the slightest. Dean finallly looked at him; he opened his big eyes; they were a deep, deep solid blue, the kind of blue that was definitely going to change as he got older. Dean could tell these were the same eyes he'd met just weeks ago, just these were big and brand new, filled with surprise and wonder and not that awful, shining pain.

He felt a numbing, crushing sadness engulfing him, but these two gave him the slightest bit of a counter to that. They had such quizzical, confused expressions on their chubby-cheeked faces, that he finally felt something stir in his depths of his wrecked emotions.

"Hi, sweetheart." He whispered hoarsely, another tear sparkling in his eye. He brought up his large in comparison pointer finger and he lightly felt the smooth, soft skin on the blonde baby's rounded cheek with the back of it. "It's nice to meet you, Leoniel Samuel Winchester." His glittering tear fell and he rested his head on the tiny head of hair, closing his eyes and breathing in a deep breath.

"Welcome to the world, Robert John Winchester." He lightly stroked the head of dark black hair, the wisps sprung back and stuck up as the baby donned a surprised expression, and Dean pulled them both close into his chest, closing his eyes and breathing in and out slowly.

"How am I supposed to look at them without seeing Castiel? He's in so much of both of them, Sam. And now I'm alone." He choked out. Alone, alone, alone. It echoed in his mind, poisoning his thoughts, pulling him further into the numb void.

"You're not alone. You have them, you have me."

Dean knew he was right, but he still felt swallowed by the pain as he gently held the two little things that had caused his whole world to get flipped upside down. He hated them, but at the same time he loved them with everything he was made of.

Sam came next to him and put an arm over his shoulder, careful to avoid the fresh burn. "You're not alone, Dean." Dean shut his eyes slowly as he rested his cheek on one of the baby's soft heads.

Dean felt his chest hiccup with a sob, his burnt back screaming at the sudden movement. He stroked a soft head of hair. He couldn't afford to be a sad wreck of a father to them. He would do everything he could to give them good things, wherever they could find them.

Dean bitterly recalled how he'd yelled and accused Cas when he found out they were his. God, he wished he could go back and change everything. Be loving and accepting and tell Cas it was okay, the experiments had not been his fault, that he would love his kids no matter what. Cas had been so strong, trying to protect them from their other father, who was afraid of them and hated them at first, keeping them even though they were killing him, loving them even though they were hurting him.

Now, he was gone.

"They'll never know how amazing he was. They might never meet him, only when they come back..." He didn't want to think about that, them never knowing about their other dad. What if they grew up without him? Dean sure as hell wouldn't be able to teach them about their angel side. What if they had special needs that only Cas could address? He _needed_ him to be alive.

"He's not dead, Dean. We didn't see him die. They told you he doesn't."

"I can't call that. I can't waste my time hoping, Sam. Almost everyone I love dies. Why should he be the exception?" He blinked another tear from his eye as he stared at the blackned wing on the ground. It was so much, more than half of it. If that small surviving part was out there somewhere...

"I'm so sorry, Cas." He whispered painfully under his breath, smoothing down the black-haired baby's hair again, and he brought both of them closer to his chest. "I'm sorry you went through so much suffering, I'm sorry I didn't go through anything. And I promise I'll take care of them, I'll do my best." A tear dripped from his eye. "I just wish you didn't have to leave," he whispered in a broken voice. "If you're up there, come back soon, _please_. I need you."

He stayed there for a long time, cradling the twins as he sat in the center of the crushed marble steps and ripped apart church, a partial black wing in front of his feet and the other half a branded print on his back. There was no telling what had become of the man who left all of these things behind.


	18. Building from a Blood Cell

Baby was jetsteaming back to heaven, he had his wings tucked tightly together as he felt his energy pouring out to try and get back to heaven as quickly as he possibly could. He was trying to ignore the pain as the last bit of burning wings branded into his arms, as he gripped tightly to Castiel. He tumbled into the small room he set aside for him from before, weak and reflexively letting go from the burning pain. The room had protective seals of every kind on the walls inside and out, the one place Cas would be safe.

Baby's arms were shaking, and he looked down in shock to see his arms. His skin was steaming and blistering even now, blackened as some of his bones peeped out from the deepest of the burns. He knew he'd carry these scars on this vessel forever; burning wings were considered holy fire and he could heal the wound, but never the scar. He pulled himself to stand, his arms were shaking. He lifted his eyes wearily and felt a gasp rise to his throat. Two others were in the room.

He hadn't been able to tell because he'd gotten so used to their presense, but Robbie and Leo were in the room, they'd gotten there just a split second before he had, and Robbie quickly had Cas wrapped in both of his arms, the man had been falling quickly to the ground when Baby had let go.

"No...you can't be here, you can't see what happened.." Baby said weakly, climbing to his trembling knees. He realized now; when the twins had 'left' a few weeks ago, they'd really skipped foward to come to this exact moment instead of going back home. _These sneaky kids. Of course they would, it's in their blood._

"This is too dangerous for you. You have to leave." Baby wheezed, almost falling to the floor again. They couldn't be here, not now, not when heaven would be searching for them, trying to steal them and bring them into the program where they'd be worked everyday and given numbers for names.

"No." The words came from Leo this time, he was harsh and unbending in his tone, which was so uncharcteristic of him. He usually let Robbie use that tone of voice instead of him.

Baby felt his vision go fuzzy and then sharp again, zooming in and out of weariness. He was almost relieved: in bringing Cas up here, he'd expended so much energy as he flew in a perfect streamline, trying to get there as fast as possible.

"You can't shield us anymore." Robbie added, it was clear he wanted to sound angry but instead he was exhausted. Him and Leo were sitting on the small white bed with Cas sandwiched in the middle, as a light, somewhat translucent white mist began to float from both of their chests to Castiel. It looked exhausting; as he watched, Baby could physically see their muscles unwinding, their faces dropping slowly as they both breathed in and out slowly.

"I know it was us who almost killed him. Dad hid that from us for so long...I know it was all our fault." Leo said in a tiny voice, dropping his head to Cas's shoulder. Baby came up and looked at what was happening, he was confused for a second before he realized. No one but them could do what they were doing, it all had to do with the substances. Because both of them were technically half Cas, they could sustain him just as he'd sustained them.

"How...how do you even know how to do this?" He asked in disbelief. Sharing energy like this; this was some high-level stuff. And these two had only had seventeen years to master their skills, less than a blink of an eye in angel time.

"Because you taught us how. You said we needed to." Leo replied serenely, finally leaning completely onto Cas's body. Baby was concerned, something in the future had been all their fault? And by the looks on their faces, they wanted to try anything to prevent it. He knew what they were doing would be important if he himself had insisted that they do it. He came up and sat on the edge of the bed, and he looked at Cas for the first time since he brought him back here.

His wings. The great black wings were completely gone, or at least from what he could see. Baby felt tears slip down his face as he sat on the edge of the bed and looked at his eldest brother. He reached out and felt his slack cheek, it was cold as ice. He realized that if his sons hadn't travelled here to help him, he would have died.

"You wouldn't leave until you finished the job. What a Winchester thing to do." Baby said softly, almost with admiration as he smiled sadly, taking his hand from Cas's cheek as he felt the small piece of him in his chest begin to grow brighter, even if it was only a tiny bit.

"You're good boys, aren't you?" He followed up sadly, and he couldn't take his eyes from Cas's face. He reached out and rubbed Leo's shoulder gently. They were good kids, he could tell.

"I wouldn't say that." Robbie joked with a tired smile.

"Oh, shut up. You're not a fucking 'bad boy' so stop trying so hard." Leo quipped back, but it wasn't as effective because he slurred a few words. They were both losing energy fast, and somehow still poked fun at each other.

"Don't drain yourselves." Baby warned, getting concerned at how much they were giving up. He reached out and with the familiar way he'd always supress Dean when he had a fit, he wrapped them up tightly so that no more energy could escape.

Right away, Cas's body glowed brightly, turning his skin glowing white as he seemed to cave into himself, his body dissapearing as he pulled into himself and became a faintly glowing light, which Baby quickly rushed forward to pull into his arms. Shit, it was so little, it was hardly anything compared to the size he used to be. He pulled his light quickly into his chest, expending some of his energy now as he looked at the two teenagers who were struggling to stay conscious.

Baby scanned both of their memories quickly, getting a general idea of what things might be like for them. Robbie felt him intruding in his memories and spoke up quietly.

"I think we deserve to know the truth after all these years." He said sadly. Baby could tell; Dean had hid so much from them, almost everything from them. He never told them that the wingprint on his back had been Cas's, or that because they were gemlings that he'd been so weak carrying them. Robbie had even been told a highly underestimated version of how sick Cas really had been, that was why he'd been so angry when he finally saw him.

The two boys dropped to a deep sleep quickly, Baby contemplated on when he'd bring them back to their right time, if they couldn't themselves. Baby looked at them and saw so much of Dean and Cas; these two kids were just as good as both their fathers, despite the fact their bodies had been poisioned.

...

Sam was sitting at the motel living room table, he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself now. It was in the middle of the night, around two a.m., and rain was falling in a deluge outside, pattering on the roof and splashing loudly on the roads, the direct cause being Dean. At first Sam had done what he was used to doing, trying to research and find a solution. That had been a complete bust, as he had only been able to find out what a regular angel birth should look like. He knew that what they had both seen had been so far from normal, there was no way he'd be able to get any insight while researching. But at least it gave him something to do, something to think about.

He shivered when he recalled that expression on his brother's face as he held Castiel, flames all around him at that last second. That look in his eyes; sadness, pain, shock, but mostly regret shone from those green eyes as he stared into that slack face.

He finally decided to steal a longer glance at his brother. So far he hadn't been able to bring himself to look at him for more than a few seconds, because what he saw made his heart feel like it would rip right down the center.

Dean was on the one motel bed they had, and he'd assembled a sloppy wall of blankets, and he lay perfectly still on his side inside the small ring, his charred back facing the other wall. Sam had tried his best to heal him, but for some reason, so matter how hard he tried, the burn wouldn't go away. Dean hadn't moved one inch since he'd lay down, the two babies sleeping in the little space by his chest. Sam felt his chest squeeze when he noticed something he hadn't seen before; Dean had left a Cas-sized hole in the little blanket nest. He looked away, instead reaching down into his grace and trying to feel all the different lights he carried, the bonds he'd made.

Cas's felt very dim and small, but it was still there. He'd been checking obsessively every few minutes in the past hour. It was strange; Baby's had begun to fade as well, and he had no idea why. He tried to call out to him again, he'd uncharacteristically been getting absolutely no response.

_Kaz? Hey, are you there? _

There was no response. Sam sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He was desparate for an answer, any insight into what was going to happen now.

_Kaz. Baby, Sol, whatever the hell you want to be called. I need some answers. Please_.

Finally, there was the tiniest of voices that replied. _Not now_. He seemed exhausted, pissy even.

Sam almost jumped from his seat. He felt his mind rapidly firing off questions, he'd been so worried.

_What's going on? Is he still alive? What's happening to you? What's going to happen to Dean? _

There was no response again. Sam was suddenly somewhat angry, and somehow did something he'd never done before. He found himself reaching up, seeing through Baby's eyes, sharing his mind visually...

He only got a split-second visual before he was almost roughly shoved out, a harsh push. He recoiled and blinked, back in the motel room again. Shit, Baby had never been that agressive before. He registered what he'd just seen, what it might have meant.

He saw two rough, pale hands cupped together, a white light that looked like a liquid shining dimly from them as they shook violently. He struggled to try and understand what that was, why he'd been pushed out so roughly. Suddenly, he made the connections. That was _Cas_. Was that really all that was left of him?

_Stay out of my head, Sam._ He got another weak reply from Baby. _I'll come down in a few hours. _

He didn't feel so consoled to hear back from him. He was hit with the extent as to what that really meant; Cas had fit in just his two hands, when he remembered he'd said before that he'd been the size of the Chrystler building. To get that small...the proportions blew his mind. He looked at Dean again, and he could only look at him for a few seconds again. He stirred slightly and gently wrapped tighter around the soundly sleeping babies, a slight grimace on his face from the pain on his back. _Oh, Dean_. Sam thought sadly. _  
_

...

"Come on, Cas, come on! Don't do this now!" Baby muttered under his breath, his hands shaking with the effort as he poured some of his own life into the extremely small amount of grace that he now held in his hands. The light ebbed and dimmed, looking like a coal a few hours after the fire had gone out. He brought the small bit of light up to his chest again, pulling it hard against him, trying to make sure the amount didn't shrink any more. He couldn't afford to lose even half a gram, not now.

Suddenly, he felt a weight come back into being as thin arms wrapped around his neck and Baby felt his arms fill with his midsection. He held the man up with all his strength, Cas was leaning heavily on him and with a dead weight. "Atta boy, Cassie." Baby whispered, bringing his arm up and holding onto his head with his hand, pulling him in tighter. That was when he noticed again; oh, god, Cas. His hands fluttered in panicked motions, reaching for something, anything. What remained? There had to be something!

He started at the top of his back and slid his hand down, searching, feeling panic bubble up into his throat. Finally, he hit something at the shoulder blade area, the smallest remainder of his wing, a stump of prickly, tweaked feathers and a burnt bone.

The exhausted man said nothing as Baby completely carried him onto a small bed, gently moving the two sleeping sons so he could rest next to them. He'd just given everything for them, and he hoped being with them might help his recovery.

Cas's eyes were closed as he slipped him to lie down, his limbs dropping where they fell. Baby gently placed him to lie on his side, and he assessed the damage. Two irregular-shaped stumps sprouted from his back, one of them just slightly bigger than the other, both had a painful-looking exposed bone that was blackened, showing some of the charred marrow inside. A few feathers remained, they were sooty and ruffled. He gently felt the small remainders of his wings, gently bringing his thumb across the burnt prickles of the plasticy stems that remained. _Oh, Cas. What has happened to you? _

He observed him, making sure that he was stable before he'd go back to Sam and Dean. His eyes were closed, he was breathing as if he was sleeping. _Oh, my god_. He _was_ sleeping. His amount of grace was so small, it actually compared to that of a human's soul, and now he was sleeping.

_Kaz. Dean's going to wake up soon. Please, he needs you._ He heard Sam's faraway voice say in his mind, he seemed bitter. Baby looked into his face again. So far, he was in a blank dream. He wasn't sure if he'd actually dream eventually. _Baby, please. I can't even look at him for more than a few seconds. _

Baby felt his heart give a squeeze. What did he mean? He didn't know if he could leave Cas now, not when he was vulnerable like this. One of the boys was stirring, his breathing becoming less regular from when he'd been sleeping. He reached out almost unconsiously and saw smidges of what he'd been dreaming about; white uniforms, tattooed arms, a small square in the wall rolling through animal after animal. He'd never gotten much of a good night's sleep ever since he'd started getting these nightmares.

"Leoniel." Baby said, and the teeanger stared upwards, blinking a few times before squeezing his eyes closed and sighing. He was still so exhausted. "You want me to watch over them," He said quietly, licking his lips and turning to his side. "I can do it." Baby gently passed his palm over the kid's forehead, and he sighed again.

"We'll be safe here?" Leo asked quietly. He still felt a bit shaken up, he didn't know if his nightmares would ever go away, and he was on red-alert now that he was back in heaven. He opened his deep blue eyes to see Baby looking into his face. "Take care of them, Leo. I must talk to Dean."

Leo nodded, and he stretched his arms to lightly hug Cas, a sorrowful look on his face. Baby spread his wings over his head and was about to fly down when the kid spoke up again. "Uncle Sol?" He asked quietly, avoiding his glance. Wow, he'd have to get used to being called that, on top of his countless other names.

"Why did this have to happen? You saw what happens, didn't you?" He closed his eyes and a tear slipped from under his eyelids. Baby had seen what happened, how Cas would not see them for a long time.

"You were the ones who saved him." He replied simply. These kids carried too much guilt for a person their age, hell, for a person of any age.

"And the ones who almost killed him."

Baby didn't know how to respond. He stretched his wings again when Sam sent him another quick message, that Dean was awake. "Keep them safe for now. I'll be back soon."

...

He landed with light feet in the room. The dingy motel room wasn't exactly ideal, as he pointed out the water stains blooming on the walls and the peeling wallpaper. He lowered his eyes to see Dean on the bed, curled gently around the two small babies. He was awake but not stirring, his eyes hung halfway open as he looked straight ahead. Baby quickly looked to Sam, who had pushed the computer off of his lap and was quickly coming up to his side.

"I tried to heal his back, but it's not working..." He said in a distressed voice, trying to bring himself to look at Dean for more than a few seconds. He avoided both of their glances, staring straight ahead as he breathed in and out. Sam had never seen him look so dead inside before.

"It's because it's considered a holy fire burn. I could heal the open wounds, but it will leave a print forever." He said quietly. Nothing on Dean's face changed as he said these words. Baby came up and sat on the edge of the bed, looking like he was unsure what to do. "I have to make a bond before I attempt to heal him. No doubt most of the restrictions will have faded by now." He lightly placed his hand on his shoulder, and again there was no response.

"Sit up, Dean." Sam told him almost roughly. The fact that he was being so distant, it was scaring him. The man blinked his green eyes heavily, there were dark circles under them. He gathered the twins into his arms and slowly slid to sit up. Sam found it strange that at first, he hadn't even wanted to look at them, and now he refused to leave them out of his touch. Sam reached in for a split second to feel his emotions, and he left just as confused as ever. There wasn't even a name for what his tangled, muddled emotions where. He felt his chest squeeze; he was a wreck, and he didn't know where to start to fix him.

Baby took his wrist, and his skin and the skin he was touching began to glow a faded white, but as it began to grow stronger he pulled away with a hiss, gripping his hand tightly as he grimaced. "No, I can do this. I can help." He reached out again, gritting his teeth and pushing through the pain to make the bond. Dean was unresponsive the whole time, never letting go of the small kids that he held.

Baby then placed his flat of his palm on the top of the burn, and as he dragged it down smoky tendrils swirled from his palm and a faint sizzling sound could be heard. He had to work in sections because the burn was so large, but as he dragged his hand away to begin again, Sam caught a view of the new scar, a perfectly preserved print that had every small line in the feathers imprinted perfectly into the fresh skin, it was still a pale red and irritated. At least it looked better than the blackened, blistering skin than covered the rest of his back.

Finally, Dean spoke up for what seemed like the first time in forever. His voice was rough after having not spoken for so long after crying, and it whistled through his throat, so quiet that they could barely hear him. "Is he alive? And don't you dare lie to me."

The faint sizzling started up again as Baby began to heal the next section. He breathed out, closing his eyes for a second before he folded them open again. He was remembering; how small the light had been, fitting in his hands, those awful blackened stubs. "Yes." He said, trying to sound confident. He was sure Dean could already tell, there was no gaping hole or absence to indicate that his grace had died. "Barely." He followed up, much quieter than before. He needed to explain, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. Not now.

"There was so little of him left...I can't even begin to express how much he's downsized. He...he fit in my hands." He said shakily, as if getting away from the emergency had finally let that fact set in. He hadn't been able to talk to him since he'd brought him back, he wasn't quite sure what the repercussions might possibly be.

"Didn't he say he was the size of a skyscraper before?" Sam added, knitting his eyebrows together. He'd seen the image for that split second, and now his suspicions had been confirmed. That tiny amount of light _had_ been Cas.

"Yes. He can rebuild-" with that word, Dean finally had a small reaction, perking up just in the slightest. Baby licked his lips and continued cautiously. "But with that little left...to put it in perspective, it would be like trying to rebuild your entire body using just one blood cell. Do you understand what I mean?"

Dean didn't answer, and instead opted to lower his eyes at the starkly contrasting baby's heads again. _How long will that take? _Baby heard Dean's thought more easily now that he had bonded with him.

"So he's building from a blood cell, that's what you're saying." Sam wanted to confirm. He almost couldn't envision it, it was such a small increment of anything. "I suppose so, yes. I...I'm still not sure what that might mean." Baby replied, hating that he didn't know more. There was a heavy silence as all three of them let what was said sink in.

"I can't have this for them, Soloviel. They need a home, they need their parents-" Dean finally spoke up again in his scrubbed voice. Suddenly, the look of an idea played across Baby's face as he lifted his hand from the last section. "I can't stay for much longer. I need to return to Cas, but I can do one thing first." He disappeared quickly with a flap of feathers, and there were a few seconds of complete silence. Sam looked at Dean fully, trying his hardest to not look away this time. He wanted to comfort him, say the right things, he wanted to see that lively light in his eyes again, kind of the look he got when he looked at Cas.

"It's going to be okay." He said quietly, and he hated that he couldn't express how much he wanted him to be better. He didn't reply, but simply turned his head away_. I pray to God you're right__. _He heard him think bitterly, and for a split second he felt that deep, numb chasm that he'd fallen into.

Baby returned, carrying a black suitcase and trying to smile at them, his lips twitching upward ever so slightly. Sam thought he maybe knew what that was. "Sol, you...is that what I think it is?"

He shrugged, padding over and setting the suitcase on the cheap kitchen table. "The money's ensured." He said, almost with a hint of a laugh.

"You_ robbed a bank_?" Dean spoke up in his raspy voice is disbelief, finally sounding just a bit more like his old self.

"I'm an angel, not a goddamn saint." He replied, dragging his fingers softly over the smooth, black leather. He seemed distracted, worried. "You're crazy." Dean spoke up bitterly. He was so out of whack, he wasn't even quite sure why he was saying these things. He wanted to gain control, but he didn't know what to grip onto as his emotions churned and spun around inside his head.

"Wouldn't be the first time someone's told me that." He patted the suitcase and his eyes met with Sam's. "Get an apartment. A nice one." He stretched his wings over his head and flitted his eyes to look one more time at Dean before he disappeared. He hoped that when Cas woke up, he would be able to give him some good news. He'd seen that dead look in his eye like Sam had, and he realized just how much he needed Cas back with him. He could tell that he'd finally confessed to Sam what they'd both been waiting for him to say.

He landed back in that small room, relief flowing into his chest when he saw that everything was fine, that all three of them were sleeping again. He came up and instinctually checked Cas's wings again, he looked so off balance without them. He knelt down and noticed that there were a few downy feathers that just when he'd been gone had started to surface. He was healing already. He lightly traced his fingers along them, and saw Cas's chest rise and fall as his breathing became more irregular. He was waking up.

"Cas." He said, surprised, laying a hand on his shoulder. There was a low groan as the man breathed in deeply, trying to shuffle his wings but only moving the remains slightly. He then finally seized his muscles, and genty rolled to turn towards him, somehow failing to notice the boys in his groggy state.

His eyelids fluttered and his blue eyes finally folded open. They looked so...empty. "Soloviel?" He asked quietly, his voice was still sleepy. "Is that you?"

He brought his eyebrows together, kneeling beside Castiel. "Of course it's me. Cas, what's wrong?"

His eyebrows tipped downward, like he was trying so hard to remember. "Why..."

"Yes?"

"Why...why do I feel so sad? I can't remember-" He lifted his eyes to look in his face, and genuine confusion played across his face. "You're different." He said quickly, almost looking distrustful.

"I got a new vessel, if that's what you mean-"

"No. No, you've...you've aged exponentially." He had lost that almost more casual air of talking he'd gained with the humans and reverted to his default, the extremely formal tones.

"I've..." He reached into his mind to see what he thought, what he remembered. He was met with the image when he had been just a kid. _No, no. God, no._ He hated that he had known something like this had to come with the side effects of such a downsize. He knew that he had the blueprint of his memories still, so he could rebuild. But he would be different, like how skin remembers how to grow back but the scar will always be a bit different than what it started with.

"Sleep, Cas. That's the best thing you can do for now." He gently rubbed his shoulder as the man closed his eyes once more. He sat and stared for a few moments before burying his head in his hands. He didn't know what would happen from here. He had kept his promise; he'd saved all three of them. But he didn't imagine it would be like this.

...

"Dean."

Dean groaned and refused to answer his brother, keeping the babies close to his chest. He couldn't believe that he'd been repulsed by them at first, now, he never wanted to let them out of his sight. Hell, he didn't even want to let them out of his arms. All three of them were the things the burning Cas had left behind, and he desperately wanted them to stick together.

"It's ten o'clock, Dean. I won't let you sit in that bed all day and get sadder and sadder. Come on, let's go get breakfast and buy supplies."

He didn't reply as he closed his eyes. He didn't have to eat, he didn't have to go to the bathroom, he could lie here for weeks if he wanted to. And at the moment, that was exactly what he felt like doing.

"_Dean_." Sam insisted, sounding almost determined this time.

"No, I don't want to get up, dammit. I just lost the person I love, and I'm left with a _fucking_ handful which is a huge understatement, so no, I'm not getting up." He finally replied, feeling even worse now that he'd summarized the situation out loud, his chest gave a painful squeeze.

He finally looked up, and his eyes met Sam's. He was surprised when he saw how angry he was, his eyes were narrowed and a fierce light shone from his blue-green eyes.

"Look at them, Dean! Those two are _your_ children, whether you asked for it or not! You can't keep doing this, you are going to pull yourself out of this and be a good dad who doesn't sulk around all day because that's what they _deserve_!" He exploded at him, his face was flushed from his anger. Dean could tell he still felt strongly about John and how he'd been treated growing up, and now he had a chance to save someone else from that, and he'd try anything.

"We saw them, Dean. They came back, and you saw that they were struggling. We know now that life isn't going to be a breeze for them, hell, we could have known that even they didn't come back. They deserve a father who loves them, who accepts them!"

That last line struck a chord with Dean. He remembered seeing that massive grey wolf's profile as his nose wrinkled deeply in his snarl as blood dripped from his ivory teeth, how his ring sizzled his arm, how he'd sobbed into his shoulder, apologizing for not being the perfect son. Then how Leo had shaken him awake after he'd had a nightmare and held on to him so tightly, like he was the only thing keeping the bad dreams away. He knew they would suffer, that they'd have a rough life. But when Sam had said that...

"I do love them! Shit, do I love them! And I accept them, okay? I don't care that they are what they are! I don't fucking care anymore! _I'm_ not normal, _I'm_ not human! I'm an experiment too, I see that now!" He felt tears coming to his eyes. "I know what they are, Sam. It doesn't matter." He finally said, softly this time. "All that matters to me is if Cas is coming back."

"He will. I know he will, he just has to get better first. Get yourself out of this hole you're in Dean, do it for them. I won't let you waste their childhood as you're waiting for an angel."

Dean finally sat up, pulling Leo and Robbie to lay on his shoulders. "You're right, Sammy." He said hoarsely. "I'm going to try."

"Good. Now let's get out of this damn room, I don't even want to look at it anymore."

Both of them headed out the door, and Dean closed his eyes once he'd climbed into the passenger's seat of the car. He kept the two infants secured with his large hands on the bottoms of their backs, trying to soften the bumps in the road. They both were still sleeping, their chubby cheeks pressed to his shoulders, and he felt a little bit of drool from one of them dribble onto his shirt. _Cas, if you're up there, bud, I really want to see you soon. You'd love their little faces too, they're beautiful. Please. I need you. _

* * *

_Hello! Oh my, have I taken on a load! I know it's sad right now but I have a happy ending that I really would like to get to, and now this might be the longest story I've ever written! I hope you aren't losing interest, next chapters will be about Robbie and Leo and what it's like to handle them as babies. Please review and tell me what you hope to see in later chapters or just what you think, I'd love some support :)_

_Thank you new followers or favoriters Demon-Kagetsuki, christinaveney11 and Daryl's Angel-bow ! Thanks for the review Daryl's Angel-bow!_


	19. Animal House

Dean heard a faint crying from the twin's room, and he sighed and rubbed his eyes groggily, standing up and making his way to their crib. It hadn't taken very long to get settled in, they didn't have boxes of things to unpack. His bare feet were shushing along the ground as he padded down the hallway. He somehow could tell just by the cry that it had to be Leo. It had been almost three weeks since they'd been born, and he could already tell things like this.

He peered into the crib, and if he didn't know better they could have been normal kids. They looked a little older than a few weeks, maybe around a month and a half, and the small wings that had been sprouting from their backs when they'd first been born had disappeared, within a few days they'd leaned to conceal them.

"Oh, Leo baby. Don't cry," Dean yawned, reaching into the crib and pulling out the fair-haired baby gently, placing him on his chest so his head peeped over his shoulder. He bounced him a little, patting his back. "You have the burps or something? Why are you crying?" For some reason, they were much more well-behaved than most babies were, only crying when something really was the matter. He went to stroke the kid's head, and was met instead with a very furry touch.

"What...?" He asked exhaustedly. He looked and saw a golden retriever puppy cradled in his arms instead. Right. Leo was the skinwalker. He stroked the little puppy's head gently, in disbelief. How was he supposed to help these kids when he still didn't even know everything that was going on with himself? When he still wasn't sure how to deal with the fact that he wasn't sure how long it would be until he saw Cas again?

The puppy started whimpering, and Dean gently pet his head again. "I know, bud. I know. I'd be scared too if I didn't know what was happening to me." He felt odd as he placed the yellow puppy back into the crib he'd just grabbed a baby from, as he gently smoothed down the fluffy fur on his head down, trying to get him to stop whimpering.

"Oh, god. What the hell am I going to do when you two get older?" Dean whispered, reaching in and softly stroking the baby soft skin of sleeping Robbie's round little cheek with his calloused thumb. He walked quietly from the nursery, and he groaned as Leo began crying and whining loudly again, quickly joined by Robbie's spooked wails.

"Okay, you two. We're going to just get you tired out and warm and comfortable so that you'll be too tuckered out to cry and I can get some sleep."

He reached in and gently pulled Robbie out and held him on his chest and shoulder as he lifted puppy Leo to rest on the other side, carrying them out to the living room.

The fireplace was crackling and Sam was reading a book on the couch quietly, and he didn't look up when he saw Dean come in, he could just tell he was there.

"Hey," he said softly. Dean nodded at him and went to sit down on the rug by the fire. He sat the two babies down as Robbie babbled and began to try and crawl, and the baby golden retriever began to walk on clumsy, fat legs as he went and stuck his wet nose onto his brother's tummy.

"Want me to take care of them so you can sleep?" Sam offered casually, not lifting his eyes from his book, but Dean shook his head. "No, it's okay. I'm just trying to tire them out."

He lifted Robbie into the air, who giggled and burbled. "You like being lifted, huh?" He tucked him into his chest and rocked him gently, his nose on his head of dark black hair as he breathed in that clean baby scent. His heart squeezed when he thought about the fact that this was his son. He'd been wishing for so long...

"Hey Sam," he called to his brother quietly.

"Hmm?" Sam called back, and Dean began rocking Robbie softly again.

"Leo skinwalked today. Just now." Sam perked up and finally looked up.

"_That's_ him?" He smiled goofily. "I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or run away screaming." He joked softly.

"Oh, shut up Sam!" He had to smile himself, petting the small puppy's head and pulling him into his lap, as Robbie rested on his shoulder. "Sam, Jesus, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with them. " He admitted, feeling overwhelmed, gently stroking the puppy's head as he began to whine again.

"I think you're doing pretty damn well, considering how unpredictable they are." Sam replied, smiling as he looked at Dean. "But did you really expect much in your life to be normal?"

Leo softly melted into his human form, pausing for a second with a surprised look on his face, before he hiccuped and started crying again. Dean quickly set Robbie down and pulled him into his chest. "No, no. Don't cry, I know you're a little scared." He gently rubbed his head of fine, white-blonde hair. He looked up at Sam with an overwhelmed expression. "What am I supposed to do when they get older, Sam? What else are they going to do? And what about when we have to deal with...what happened when they visited us?" He hugged Leo closer to his chest, closing his eyes and knitting his eyebrows together as he lay his cheek on top of the tiny head of blonde hair, remembering when he'd done the same as a teenager after his nightmare.

"They're not monsters, right Sam? They're not." He stroked his tiny head slowly, tears coming to his eyes. They couldn't be, they were so innocent. They were his sons, they couldn't be monsters.

"They're not." Sam agreed, and Dean gently lay down, pulling his dark-haired son onto his chest as well.

"You better not give me any more surprises," He yawned, closing his eyes with a hand on both of their backs. "Well, at least for a little while." Even though they cried less than usual kids, he was still exhausted from the combination of lack of sleep and trying to fight off the feelings of sadness that would creep up sometimes. Sam smiled as he looked his brother, who was already falling asleep, his tired eyes closing heavily. He was really doing so well, despite everything.

A few hours later, Dean opened his eyes and blinked groggily. His back hurt from falling asleep on the hard ground, and his scar was still throbbing somewhat. He pulled a palm down his face to try and wake up, and he realized that one of the babies was no longer on his chest. He sat up and gently slid the sleeping baby to the floor, looking around for Robbie. He couldn't have gone far...

He thought he spotted something peculiar out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head around, and he gasped. "Robbie!" He cried out, scrambling to get to his feet. The little baby was curled up on his tummy, sleeping among the hot coals and charcoal of the fire, his pale skin contrasting with the dark black soot, as bright flames licked over his body. Dean quickly reached in and grabbed the sleeping baby, his heart pounding.

"Hohhh!" Sparks flew as he quickly grabbed the baby out, his hands were burned as he tried to heal them quickly, the dark-haired baby opened his large matte blue eyes and blinked, seeing his dad and laughing and gurgling in his outstretched arms. He held him at arm's length, holding him up from under his armpits. Dean looked at him with a quizzical, tired look, he was completely untouched except for numerous smudges of soot. He turned his head to the back of the house. "SAAAAAMM!" He hollered into the back of the house.

"So he was... in the fire?" Sam asked, smiling somewhat as he held the sleeping black-haired baby to his chest. Dean was pacing nervously in front of him. "Um, yeah?!" Dean said, extending his arm to the fireplace as his face was shocked. "Just, right there! Fizzz!" He used hand motions and wiggled his fingers to indicate the flames. He dropped his arms to his side with a faint smack. "I dunno. I just dunno."

Sam smiled and lightly kissed the baby's hair. "You need some rest, Dean." Dean's face dropped. "Oh, my god. Are you saying you don't believe me?"

Sam laughed, bouncing the baby lightly. "No, I'm saying you're being forgetful. They're both part phoenix, remember?" Dean's face dropped with realization. There were dark circles under his eyes. "Oh. Right." He sighed, picking up Leo, who had been fast asleep on the ground, bringing him back to his crib.

"You need a break, Dean." Sam said when Dean came back to the living room to collect Robbie. Dean sighed, patting the baby's back lightly. "Yeah, maybe."

"Go take a load off. Baby's coming back soon, we'll watch them for you." Sam offered, grinning at the look of relief on Dean's face. "Thanks, Sammy. God, you were never _this_ difficult." He went back into the room to drop the baby off, and he came back and sunk to the sofa, resting his head in his hands. Sam laughed and patted him on the back. Dean looked at him with wide eyes.

"They won't be bad, right? They're good kids. We saw they were good. Well, mostly. They _did_ steal a car."

Sam smiled and nodded. "They're good kids. And you're being a good dad." Dean sighed. "I dunno."

"Go have some fun, Dean. I'll watch them." Dean gave him an appreciative look and disappeared. He'd appeared in front of a bar, sort of his default, and pushed his way in, nabbing a stool. He let out a sigh and drew a hand down his face. "Beer please, any local brand."

"Hey. You look pretty worn out." Dean looked up and saw a very pretty girl talking to him, sipping on a martini.

"Yeah. I got twin boys at home," he said, smiling to himself a little. He liked that way that sounded. The girl's face dropped as she embarrassingly looked down to her drink.

"Oh. You must have your hands full." She said, stirring her drink with the little umbrella.

"Yeah. It's worth it, though." He thought back to their sweet little faces and smiled.

"You didn't look the type." The girl admitted.

"I guess it hasn't been so long."

"How old are they?" She asked, sipping on her drink. At least she actually wanted to talk to him, she looked like she might not only want to flirt, but have a conversation. This was exactly what he needed, someone to talk to.

"Just a few weeks."

She smiled and tapped her fingers on the bar top. "Must be pretty noisy, with two of them."

Dean laughed, realizing that he probably looked as tired as he felt. "Yeah. I've had a few surprises too." He couldn't believe how over his head he was. From babies turning into puppies to sleeping in fires, what else could he possibly have in store?

Then he realized. He didn't want to go out and get hammered and stumble home and try to sleep it off and ignore his sons. Or spend his already tight money on copious amounts of alcohol. His beer came and he took it, it would be the only one he'd have that night.

"You know what? I'm gonna go." He said, feeling pretty good about himself. He felt like maybe he'd really changed for the better after they'd been born. He hoped so. The girl smiled at the ground.

"This is a little embarrasing, but I noticed you don't wear a ring. You're a sweet guy. You got a wife?" She asked, flashing those pearly teeth.

"Not exactly." He answered, sliding off his stool, feeling a little pang of sadness pass through his chest.

"You want to take a little break with me on Saturday morning? We could snag some coffee." She looked like she thought he was a very sweet guy, admiration shining in her sparkling eyes.

"Sorry. I'm waiting on someone else. And he's the only one I want my kids around." Dean strode out of the bar with a smile plastered on his face. He knew what he was going to do instead. And he felt pretty damn good about the guy he was turning into.

...

Dean came back to the apartment, fumbling with the keys and pulling open the door. He liked the thing's he'd bought, but he hadn't really spent that much time at the store. He couldn't wait to have them try on their clothes or see if they liked what he'd bought instead of beer.

He hummed lightly as he walked through the door, and in turning around to close it, he did a double take, slamming the door with his back as he dropped everything he'd bought and looked extremely surprised. "Omigod!" He screamed out, before putting a hand to his chest as he took in a deep breath, trying to settle down and calm his pounding heart.

"Yes, Dean?" Sam asked, smirking. He pressed the hairspray can down again_. Psh psh_. It acted as a flamethrower, sending bursts of flame into the air, where the two babies were sitting on top of the stove with the open flame. They burst into giggles at the burst of fire, bouncing and flapping their arms, trying to grab the fleeting flames with chubby hands. Baby was back, watching in amusement with a can of Pam as he knelt next to the stove. "Nothing like the smell of babies roasting on an open fire." He joked. Just to freak him out again, he sent another large flame into the air as the babies exploded into happy giggles.

"Sorry, that's just...God, that's not exactly what you want to see from a babysitter." He said, calming down and laughing slightly at how startled he'd been. He dropped the bags he'd been carrying and came up to them. Dean twisted off the burner and the babies looked confused as to where their new toy had gone.

"Aw, C'mon Deano, they love the fire." Baby laughed, putting the Pam away in the cupboard.

"Well, it's almost bedtime and now they smell like hairspray and Pam and gasoline." He pulled one of them off the stove and wrinkled his nose at the unpleasant smell. "They need a bath. At least tell me you fed them while I was gone."

"Yup, fed, changed, the whole shebang. Leo made it difficult changing his diaper when he kept changing into different animals, though." Baby laughed, reaching out and gently rubbing his fine, white-blonde hair. It was clear he didn't think of them as strange creatures or experiments: to him, they were just his nephews, with a few little quirks.

"Where'd you end up going, Dean? Not a bar? You sure don't smell like alcohol." Sam asked as Dean balanced the two kids on his shoulders, heading to the bathroom.

"That's because I didn't go to one. Well, I did, but...I left. I picked up some stuff instead." He nodded toward the bags, as he left to the bathroom. The sound of the running tap soon filled the air. Sam and Baby went over to investigate, and saw that he had bought bags of clothes and toys instead of alcohol with the money.

"He's really coming round, isn't he?" Baby smiled, looking at Sam happily. "I always knew he'd be a great dad."

"Yeah. Me too." Sam smiled, taking the bags to get into the kid's room. He'd actually taken his advice, to try and pull through his sadness as he waited for Cas, trying to keep a good attitude for his sons. Still, he sometimes would have moments, but that was okay. On the way to drop off the supplies, he passed Dean struggling to bathe the babies. His back was to him as he reached into the tub, struggling to get them clean.

"No, no! Robbie, the water stays in the tub!" He scolded, as both the babies somehow splashed all the water out in one sweep, maybe it had to do with being angels. Puddles shimmered on the tiled ground, Dean had already been soaked by a wave of water. He grabbed the shampoo bottle, but it slipped from his hands as Leo seemed to have disappeared, but he sighed in relief to see he'd just shrunk into something very small.

"Aw Lee, don't do that..." Leo had turned into a very tiny baby turtle, who swam to nudge against his brother, floating dramatically with each small ripple. Robbie began giggling uncontrollably at the tiny tickles, flapping his arms and splashing.

Sam felt his heart squeeze, this was too funny to not capture. He whipped out his cellphone to take a picture, they hadn't taken very many baby pictures of them so far, and he wanted to have at least some to look back on. Dean looked behind him with a flustered, drentched face, he'd sensed what Sam was planning. "Godammit Sam, you take that picture and you're a dead man."

"Beat him to it!" Baby laughed, as the shutter sound went off. He'd been observing from the hall as well, and he was sprinting away, chuckling at Dean's death glare that followed.

Thirty minutes, one completely soaked bathroom and even more soaked Dean later, he had finally tucked the babies into their footsie pajamas and was placing the tuckered out babies back into their crib. Leo instantly pulled himself to Robbie and nuzzled into him, hugging him from behind.

"You _are_ a cuddler, aren't you? You little deniar." He whispered happily, a smile stretched on his face as he observed them sleeping heavily, they were very tired after that horrible fail of a bath. He thought he'd picked out the perfect colors; baby blue pajamas for Robbie and light yellow for Leo. He hated to admit it, but he sort of _liked_ shopping for them. It only got a little awkward when women in the section stared at him as if he were a mythical creature when he actually put some _thought_ into what he was going to buy, not buy twenty of the same things flusteredly and thoughtlessly like most men who came through did.

"You're just like John when you do that. Talk to them." Baby spoke up from behind him, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms which also had matching pale red scars with distinct feather-prints, a constant reminder for the both of them. He was grinning as he spoke up again. "He did it all the time, just like that. I think I'd told you that before."

"Yeah. God, I never would have thought I'd get the chance to see if I'd be like him in that aspect." He said quietly, remembering when they'd had that conversation about his dad and when he'd been a kid. That seemed like such a long, long time ago.

"I like it, Dean. John would have found it funny too, but you know he'd never admit he'd done the same." Dean smiled sadly, finally letting go of the crib.

"Thanks, Baby. For everything you've done for us, really." He said quietly, trying to sound as genuine as possible. He'd done so much; rescuing Sam and then helping Dean, the Leviathan blood, working so hard to save Cas and the kids. He'd probably done things they didn't even know about when his vessel had been the Impala.

"Sure. I've gotta get back to my big brother now." He said simply with a shrug, but Dean could tell that it meant a lot to him as he grinned back at him before dissapearing back to heaven.

Wordlessly, he strode from the room, turned down the hall where Sam was standing, and bumped into a hug with a wet squish. Sam laughed and hugged back, surprised.

"I can't believe I wanted to kill them. Sam...I, I think they're the best things that ever happened to me. I could just punch myself in the face for ever thinking that." He looked at Sam's face, whose expression had fallen to one of realization.

"Didn't you say that you got jumped by yourself, you know, before you went and talked to Cas about it?"

Dean was struck with the memory. "I did! That must be me, right now! Oh, that's weird." He thought, running his hand through his hair. He hadn't seemed much older when he'd jumped himself almost seven months ago. "But I've never time traveled before." He felt a little worried, he hadn't exactly been so good at his newly acquired skills so far.

"You seem to work better when you have some strong feelings. Just...think about Leo and Robbie. What if you didn't go back and warn yourself? They'd be gone." Dean felt his stomach drop horribly. Oh, god. He was right.

There was a low rumble as Dean started to feel his emotions rise in his chest again, then, he'd disappeared. He was surprised at how natural it felt, but it was subtly different from flying. He was a little weirded out at the difference: it was like stepping in an elevator expecting it to go up or down and having it travel sideways.

He caught himself just in time. He spotted the past Dean stumbling out of the bar. Dean felt a fire burning in his chest as he thought about how stupid he'd been, how he'd decided to kill them because of an extremely flawed bias. He thought back to how he'd felt; he'd been confused, scared, believing his kids were going to be killers. He needed to find the right words to say to himself, but right now he felt his actions begging to speak a little louder than his words. He felt a spring in his step as he rushed up to meet himself, knowing he _had_ to change Past Dean's mind.

His drunken, younger self didn't even see it coming as he barreled into him, shoving him against the brick wall. He felt that fire flare up in his chest as he reeled up and punched his younger self right in the face.

"What is your problem?!" Past Dean somewhat slurred, trying to shove him off with clumsy arms. Then, he looked up with an expression of pure surprise. Dean remembered that shock he'd felt seeing his attacker was him.

"Don't be a stupid idiot!" Dean saw his kid's faces and felt a strong bought of anger at what he knew younger Dean was thinking, and punched him full in the face again. Young Dean touched his face, confused. He spat out a tiny bit of blood.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Younger him demanded. He gingerly rubbed his pink cheek. The man looked almost...impressed.

"Nice one, by the way." Younger Dean looked almost surprised that he'd suddenly voiced that. Dean realized how much of an idiot alcohol made him.

"Thanks. Kind of been out of practice though." He couldn't remember the last time he'd had to punch like that. His hands had been being gentle non-stop: maybe they needed a little violence sometimes. He roughly grabbed Young Dean's shoulder and pulled him to stand up straight.

"Look, I know that you don't want these kids. That you're conflicted. But I really needed to send the message that these kids are going to be the best things that have ever happened to you. Hands down." Dean felt his chest expand. God, he loved them.

Young Dean blinked up at himself, amazed. Dean was getting mad- he wasn't sure if he was really getting through to him. Dean scowled, looking into his confused younger face.

"You are not to try and kill them. You aren't going to convince Cas that they're bad either." He demanded, making sure he knew how important they turned out to him. He hoped he hadn't caught on the sad way he'd said Cas's name. He didn't remember thinking anything was wrong.

Young Dean blinked up at him again, looking like he was finally realizing. "Do...do you have them right now?" Young Dean asked, and Dean could see that he had hope in his eyes, he wanted to know.

"I don't know how the hell this future stuff works, but I'll tell you that. Yes."

Young Dean's eyes suddenly were shining with tears. "God dammit Dean, I'm just so confused. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I don't know what I'm supposed to do." This was his opportunity to tell him exactly what to do. He felt sad as he looked at how lost his younger self looked.

"Go back with Sam and Baby and Cas. Tell Cas that he was right, that you shouldn't get rid of them. That they can grow up to be good, that they can help people. Tell him it's because they're the most beautiful kids I've ever laid eyes on." He envisioned their beautiful faces, sleeping, they were so wonderful and sweet and innocent. They'd been little heroes as they rescued him many times when they'd been teenagers. Tears were now coming from his eyes, but he wasn't exactly sad. They were happy tears.

"But...they're monsters." Past Dean voiced, narrowing his eyes. That was _exactly_ the phrase he didn't want to hear. Dean felt anger explode in his chest, his fist swinging almost involuntarily and impacting hard with his younger self's cheek.

"You are to never call them that _ever_ again." Dean seethed through gritted teeth, gripping his younger self by the shirt and shoving him into the wall. They were his kids, not monsters. They were not going to be sentenced to death because of his stupidity. He thought about how hurt Leo had been when he'd said that word, he felt protective emotions expand rapidly in his chest. He suddenly grew less angry, letting go of his shirt. He drew up their images again in his head. What could he say to make sure he understood?

"They're just kids, Dean. They're only babies. They're more scared about what's happening to themselves than you are. They are much more normal than you are thinking right now." Dean remembered how scared Leo had been when he skinwalked, he couldn't help what he was. He thought about how they were very normal in every way, well, except for crawling into fireplaces, turning into a wolf or turning into different animals at the drop of a hat. He smiled slightly.

"You love them." Past Dean voiced, seeing the expression on his future self's face. Finally, he got it. He could have such a thick skull when alcohol was in his system. Dean inwardly scolded himself. He could be so blind sometimes.

"Of course I love them. More than myself. Way more than myself."

He somewhat slap-patted Past Dean's cheek, smiling slightly. "You'd love them too, if you met them right now. You're me, so obviously you'll love them later." He looked and observed his past self's expression. Dean was dumbstruck, but he looked like he finally understood. Dean smiled and went back home easily, his work was done. He already missed his little buggers just the few minutes he was gone. He never wanted to imagine his world without them.

He went and peeped in the crib once more before he headed off to sleep. He was a little surprised to find a dark-haired baby was now being hugged from behind by a very young and fuzzy tiger cub. Dean laughed to himself; he must have gotten the inspiration from the two stuffed animals he'd given to them, a Pooh bear and a Tigger. He reached out and smoothed down the fuzzy white-and-black cheek, still finding it a little hard to grasp that this was really Leo. The tiny animal was making a low, rasping rumble._ My son's purring_. He thought to himself. _Never thought that would ever run through my head. _He chuckled and began walking silently to his own room.

_Oh, Cas. God, if you could only see them now. _

* * *

Baby dropped with light feet into the small room, and right away he began to gather the two teenagers into his arms. Cas's grace was expanding, and he'd loose the ability to sleep soon. He could sense that Cas would wake soon, and it wouldn't be a good idea to confuse and disorient him further if he saw these two "strangers", who he'd also be able to tell easily that they were derivatives of his own substance. He needed to get these two back to their own time, he knew they deserved a little being taken care of after they'd been fending for themselves for a while.

Leo was half-awake when Baby pulled him upright to rest on one side, and didn't put up much resistance. Robbie groaned and refused to help out as Baby had to pull all his weight to be upright. "C'mon babe, work with me here. I'm trying to take you home." He laughed as Robbie finally used a little bit of his muscles.

"Why do we have to leave now?" Leo asked in a small voice, he was obviously still worried when he saw Cas's barely-wings. Baby could tell he was an extremely kind kid; a lot like Dean was, but Leo lacked more of that tough-guy aspect Dean tried to emote, that was overcompensated by Robbie. Baby could see how Cas and Dean's kinder parts alls folded into the kid, his youngest of everyone upbringing also factored in.

"Cas is going to wake up soon, and stay awake after a little while. He's already disoriented, I don't want him to get frustrated at himself." Baby answered, stretching his arms to hold their shoulders up as he sat in between them.

"Is there anything else we can do?" Robbie asked hopefully, his voice still partially heavy with sleep. Baby felt his chest expand slightly; they were good kids, really such good kids. "No. You've been amazing."

Leo dipped his head in shame. "Is he...are you sure he'll be better without us?"

"Yes." He answered, and he felt feelings of guilt so strong permeate the air that he didn't need to be bonded with them to tell. He reached into both of their thoughts temporarily to see what they believed, and he almost felt shocked at what he found. To this day, they both carried so much weight on their shoulders. Leo felt most of it from how he'd affected Cas, Robbie from who he was.

He almost felt angry that they felt this way, mad at himself that he hadn't seen how much it had really plagued them earlier, that they both were like Dean in trying to stop it all up inside. "Listen to me." He spoke up firmly, gripping their shoulders tightly, trying to show them he meant what he was about to say.

"You are not to blame for any of this, understand? And you've already helped more than you were ever expected of."

Leo spoke up, avoiding his glance. "I didn't know what to think when I saw him, Uncle Sol. We've been lied to all our lives..."

Robbie jumped in before he could continue. "No amount of help could ever make up for what we've done." He said clearly, bitterly, hanging his head. "I realize that now. I wanted to come back to protect Lee, but I also wanted to try and redeem myself. I wanted to try and get this weight off my chest, but it only increased instead." He explained somberly, not lifting his eyes from the ground. Baby understood now. He turned his head and kissed Robbie on the side of his head by his temple, turning to the other side and doing the same to Leo.

"They love you both so much. I love you. Your dad just beat himself up, literally, over you two. Hell, you're the only ones keeping him from pretty much killing himself right now. After Cas was hurt- he looked like he wanted to die. And he pulled himself out, you're the only things standing between him and a crippling depression as we speak. His lights, the reason he's even functioning right now. He says that you're the best things that have ever happened to him." Baby explained fiercely, truth pouring from his voice. There was a small silence of realization before Leo finally piped up again.

"Really?" He asked in disbelief. "All that...he never told us that." A tear had dripped from Robbie's eye, and he wiped it away roughly. Suddenly, he felt like so much less of the burden he imagined he was. Baby was silent as he brought them both into a sort of side-hug, just wanting them to know he was there for his only nephews.

"Are Cas and Dean and Sam all okay back where you're from?" Baby asked, rubbing Robbie's shoulder especially reassuringly.

"Yeah. We're all okay." Robbie spoke up softly, trying to cover up the sadness in his voice. The people he'd asked about were all okay; but Baby hadn't asked about himself.

He missed his current dad and Cas and his Uncle Sammy so much, even after just a few months. He was ready to go home. Wordlessly, Baby gripped them both tightly, dropping them off at where the timeline met up with their lifespan, and barely even materialized before coming back. Some things were best left unknown.

He sighed and felt their absence in the room greatly, but it was better that they were back where they were supposed to be. He hoped things would be different for them now.

He sat down on the little stool beside the bed and observed Cas's wings again, he'd gotten his first full feather on one of them a few days ago, and the blackened bones had begun to heal and they'd started to grow outward again, he had no doubt that with some time, they'd be back to normal. Cas had been waking up grradually, spiking up in the last few minutes. He was just beginning to surface.

"Looking good, Cas." He said optimistically, reaching out and gently running his fingertips over the new feathers. "How do you feel today?"

"Lethargic." Cas answered, reaching up and rubbing his face. "I am vaguely aware of a type of void." He must have been talking about the absence of carrying Robbie and Leo, something he had no memory of doing. Baby decided to not address it as he answered.

"You've been working hard on yourself. It's okay to be tired." Baby answered gently, wanting him to be back to normal as soon as possible. He'd already spent a lot of time away, but he was nowhere close to full recovery, but at least he's started to scratch the surface.

"You should sleep while you still can. You're getting bigger each day, you might not be able to soon, you'll outgrow it." He warned, and he sighed as his eyes closed up again and he settled into the sheets.

"I have one inquiry." He spoke up lightly, breathing out slowly as he tried to fall asleep again.

"What is it?" Baby asked gently, his formal tone of voice was still strange to him, since he'd gotten used to his more common way of speaking after spending so much time with the humans. What could he possibly ask him? Was he remembering already?

"Who is this man who prays to me?"

Baby brought his eyebrows together. Had Sam or Dean been praying to him, or maybe someone else? "How often? How many times has this happened?"

Cas finally had a small smile on his face as he spoke up. "Not a day goes by without it." He paused, looking like he was struggling to remember again, before his face dropped again like he'd let it go. "I don't always understand what he means, but these prayers cause me to feel a very positive emotion."

Baby smiled sadly and pulled the sheets and covers over his older brother. "Go to sleep, Cassie. I'm going to be right here." Cas said nothing as he breathed in and out slowly, settling into his pillow. Baby looked on, watching his wings again. He was on the road to recovery, but he didn't know how long this whole thing was going to take. He hoped he could reunite him with Dean and his kids soon. But by the looks of it, with all the factors leading into it, he might be in for the long haul.

* * *

_ Just a question; did you notice the unmentioned thing I linked to in a previous chapter, the photo Leo kept in his wallet of the bathtub? If so, I'm glad! I wasn't kidding when I said there will be time travel with continuity. What can I say, it's fun to warp the timelines that exist in my head! Please leave a review and tell me what you think :)_


	20. Luna Lupine

_Hello! I don't know why but literally every character I write always end up getting a detailed backstory. I hope you enjoy reading about Baby and why he is the way he is. I will probably be slowing down the updates because this story is getting close to the end. Thank you Daryl's Angel-bow for your reviews! Thanks Duma neko, Daryl's Angel-bow & LirielLee for the follows :) please review!_

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning and smiled at the silence. Sunlight poured through the little slats in the blinds, at least the twins had slept in this time. That was nice. But instantly his face fell as he had a moment of sadness wash over him as he looked at an empty space on the bed, untouched covers and a smooth pillow with enough space for another person to fit easily. He hoped that someday soon he'd be able to wake up and see those smooth blankets covering a body, see the pillow askew as a dark head of hair rested on it. He thought about being able to wake up to those blue eyes, the same ones he saw when Leo looked back at him, bright, sleepless eyes watching, protecting him as he slept.

He rolled over with a groan, trying to will the image away. He knew he would get better, he just needed to wait just a little longer. He didn't want to make himself sad again as he forced himself to let the moment pass. _He'll be back soon, Dean._ A little voice chimed in his head. That was something he noticed lately, he'd been being kinder to himself, there weren't so many negative things telling him what was right and wrong anymore. He drew him hand down his face and rolled out of bed, he smelled fresh coffee.

He stepped out into the kitchen, he found Baby sitting at the table and smoking his cigarette greedily, like it was the one thing he really enjoyed, his eyebrows tilting up serenly with every drag. "Mornin', Dean." He said cheerfully, mashing the half-gone butt onto the back of his hand and then healing it as usual. "Sam says you're out of diapers. Care to go on a little errand run with me?" Dean could tell this was also code for the fact that he needed to talk to him, alone. Good. He needed some answers.

"Sure, but will Robbie and Leo be okay here?"

Sam laughed as he poured himself some coffee. "You should see yourself sometimes. You're only gone for a few hours, I think I can manage that. _Honestly_, Dean." He felt his ears growing a little hot when he realized just how protective he was of them, maybe it was a tad bit too much. But for him, protection often times was congruent exactly to love, and he just couldn't shake that connection.

Baby had the keys jingling in his hand as he stretched his long legs and headed for the door, Dean following him. They went wordlessly down the carpeted hallway, finally stepping into the elevator on the way down. There was a beat of silence when the steely doors closed before Dean spoke up to him.

"How is he, Bay?" He asked quietly, with a voice that was extremely concerned and gentle, a tone of voice that rarely ever left his lips.

Baby faltered slightly before answering, and Dean noticed. "He's...getting better. It's going to be a slow recovery. Let's talk more about this in the car." There was another silence until the doors opened again, Dean had to take a moment to let that soak in. Slow recovery. So it wasn't really going to be any day now that he'd return, would it?

They excited the elevator and walked out under the dim yellow lights of the parking garage, Baby unlocked and climbed into the car, pulling the driver's side door shut as Dean did the same. Baby sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before starting up the engine.

"I think you can deduce from that scar on your back and the ones on my arms what happened." He started off, reversing and pulling out of the garage as they were met with a blast of clean morning light. It almost seemed a waste to Dean to have such a somber conversation on such a pretty summer morning.

"I think so. His wings are severely burned, right?"

Baby pressed his lips together and spoke up softly. "No. They're gone, Dean."

"Gone?! But, what does that mean for him?" Dean didn't want to imagine anything happening to his wings; just pulling the feathers from them had been cripplingly painful. But to have them be burnt completely away... he had so many questions and worries swirling in his brain, ready to spill from his lips.

"They can grow back, with time. His grace will grow back as well, but like I said, I really don't know how much time that will take. I have an estimate, judging by his progress so far." He stopped there, pulled out a cigarette and slid it into the lighter with an expert hand, sucking on it like it was food to a starving man. "This'll be the last one, I promise I'll tie this up for them. But I just need this now." Dean knew that wasn't a good sign, he smoked when he was extremely stressed out and anxious.

"What's the estimate?" He asked, feeling annoyed when Baby didn't answer right away, blowing smoke from his lips as he stuck his hand out the window and drove with one hand.

"Oh, Dean." He breathed quietly, his words spilling with the curling white tendrils of smoke, almost so silently that Dean wasn't sure if he'd imagined it.

"_The estimate_, Soloviel." He demanded, gritting his teeth. The warm-weather air that was usually so welcome blowing past his face suddenly annoyed him. He didn't want to be out driving, having the news broken to him and ruining his day. He wanted to turn around right now and just get his sons in his arms again.

The guardian angel hesitated, flicking his eyes to Dean then back again. He paused for a long amount of time with his lips just slightly split, he could tell this man didn't want to have to say it aloud. Finally, he quickly licked his lips and spoke up. "...A long time, Dean. Years."

He felt something crush down on him as any happiness within him felt like it had been sucked dry by that horrible one-syllable word, _years_. "I-I thought you said he was doing well!" The words tumbled thoughtlessly from his shocked lips. Years? That just couldn't be right. He was going to come back soon, right?

"He is! He's healing at an extremely rapid rate, higher than average. You have to see it like this, compared to our lifespans, one year is less than a second. It's like a millionth of a second." Dean didn't respond, he stared uninterestedly out the passenger window.

"So, his wings are gone, and he's gone through a downsize, right?" He spoke up in a numb voice.

"Yes."

"Why can't he be with me? I can take care of him until they grow back, I can handle all three of them. It wouldn't be a problem." He said confidently, picturing it now. It would have to be his full-time job, sure, but Cas could rest at the apartment and maybe seeing the twins could help him, if he just saw them and held them. He could make sure he was okay as his wings grew back, maybe as the years went by the kids could help too.

"Dean..."

"It would be hard work, but I could do it. Don't say I can't." The kids were a handful, especially because he kept getting surprises with their unpredictable abilities. And Cas would probably be in pain, but he could handle it, he knew he'd have the drive to work hard for his family.

"Dean, he got so small...he lost much of his memory." Baby finally replied, rolling down the window and tossing the cigarette, letting the air comb through his black hair. Dean didn't know what to say as he spoke up again. "He will be able to gain most of it back. Memories for angels are...complicated. Because we live for such a long time, there's no option for adapting, like survival of the fittest. Our memories become a sort of instinct, things we can never lose, our own personal collective unconscious, like each individual angel is a lone species with 'instincts' as memories. Dammit, what I mean to say is he will remember as he grows back, but it might be a bit different, like a scar is just a bit different from the surrounding skin, but more or less the same thing. That combined with all his losses- that's what is going to take the longest."

Dean was silent, letting that sink in. _He doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember Robert and Leoniel. _"I guess I should stop praying, then." He said sadly, hanging his head.

"No! He...he told me it makes him happy."

"He's awake? He's been talking to you?" Dean asked, astonished. He needed to see him with his own eyes, he needed to check to make sure he was okay. He wanted to talk to him for hours about what he'd been missing, all about Leo and Robbie. He hoped he'd laugh when he'd tell him how the other day Robbie had crawled into the fireplace to get warm, how every few seconds Leo was something different. He thought he'd like that, to hear that the experiments weren't so bad. He started building his list of things to say almost unconciously.

"Dean, you can't. You can't see him, he's too unstable. It would confuse him, frustrate him. Please."

Dean felt a very familiar surge of anger and felt another telekenetic fit coming on, he struggled to try and keep it in check, as just a low rumble began to sound. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do with the person I love." He seethed through gritted teeth, tears coming to his eyes as he balled his hands into fists. He didn't care what Baby told him as red started to tinge his vision. He had already reached down, feeling Cas's piece of grace inside, scanning out and finding the whole. He pinpointed his location in seconds.

"Dean, stop right now!" Baby yelled furiously, Dean had only seen him this angry when he'd pulled him aside before for mentioning his death in front of Cas. He rarely ever was the type to yell like that. "You can't-"

The words cut off sharply as suddenly Dean was somewhere else, a small white room with a single bed. He felt a very unfamiliar weight on his back as his wings were now exposed. He looked at the sigils covering the entire room and finally something with his new angel skills came easily; he understood what they said right away. Only those who had parts of Cas inside them could come inside, so that included anyone who had bonded with him, and Leo and Robbie had been effortless because he was part of them.

The dark-haired man was awake but resting, and his body tensed up as he saw Dean materialize out of nowhere. His blue eyes widened in fear as he shot up, scrambling to press himself against the wall, his blade had sprung to his hand. _Soloviel!_ Dean easily heard his desparate cry for help, his eyes were wide with panic. Dean felt devastated when what he'd just been told really had really been proven to be true.

"Cas, I'm just here to check on you for him. I'm...I'm his brother." Dean tried to speak up quickly, backing up with his palms showing. He thought seeing him would make him feel better, and it was too late now but he realized Baby had been right. He was scaring Cas, who must have been told to go on the red-alert because of how heaven was now. Dean felt awful, he should have listened.

"You're not taking me back. He told me the things you did to me..." Baby must have explained that he'd been controlled by heaven, that no angel could be trusted anymore. Dean felt his heart sink as he saw a dark black stub flapping, the old parts blackened and grisly as new down grew on top. It was worse than he'd imagined, and his stomach twisted into a knot.

"Check, Cas, I'm bonded with him." He wished his first words could have been different. Cas screwed up his face, and he saw all the bonds inside. He relaxed when Baby's was clearly there, but his expression melted into sadness as he saw his own light in this stranger.

"Who-"

Dean was caught completely off-gaurd as Baby rammed into him, next thing he knew he was being pressed harshly onto the wall, and arm across his throat. "When I tell you something like that, _goddammit_, you listen!" Suddenly he was being yanked somewhere else, he was dropped harshly into the living room as he got the wind knocked out of him. He pulled himself to stand up, clutching his stomach. Baby was standing over him, furious, his anger spilling out into the air as Dean could almost taste his anger and frustration through their bond. He rolled onto his stomach and tried to stand up, wheezing. They were back that the apartment.

"I tried to warn you. I went through this with you, now I have to go through this with Cas, and his is way worse. How the hell would you feel if right when you climbed out I told you that you and Sam were killed, and now you're part angels?" He seethed, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Dean clutched at his stomach, groaning as he tried to breathe. "I'd probably...I don't know. Not believe you."

Baby rolled his eyes, drumming his fingers on his leg irritably. Dean wasn't used to seeing him so worked up like this, usually he was so calm and reasonable and kind.

"If you knew it was true, you'd probably have a break down. And to tell him that he has _kids_, and two new brothers, that he was in love, everything..." He scowled down at Dean, lifting his eyes as Dean climbed to his feet. "I need to fix this." He stated coldly, finally dropping his heated tone. "I won't be back for a while."

"Fine." Dean replied defiantly, crossing his arms. He didn't want to admit that he'd been right, that he shouldn't have been so rash and stupid. But he just _needed_ to see him.

"Don't even _think_ about going there without my permission." He said in a low voice, his vocal chords starting to rumble, his eyes narrowing and shining with a fierce kind of light. Damn, when he was angry, he could be one scary son of a bitch.

"Fine. And thanks for ruining my _fucking_ day." He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying hard to supress another fit.

"Fine, then you can forget about the smoking. I'll do it as much as I damn well please."

"You wouldn't do that to them!" Dean could feel his emotions start to muddle and rise and fall. The barely-wings he saw on Cas, his panicked expression, when he was told it could be years... he didn't even have a grip on what he felt exactly. "Just leave, Soloviel. Help Cas, I don't care what you do. But right now, I want you to stay away from me and my sons."

Baby started laughing, that sort of painful, angry laugh. "You're trying to blame _me_ for this? You want me away from your sons? Well, reality check, dumbass. If I'm not _here_ helping you, or _there_ helping Cas, I'm working my fucking ass off protecting your sons, and you and Sam_ thank you very much_, from the demons _and_ the Gatherers."

Dean felt a chill down his spine at the last word, the way he said it. He felt strange seeing Baby act this way, he'd never seen him stay this furious for this long before, and he felt somewhat bad for being the one to set him off.

"What the hell are the Gatherers?" He snapped back, maybe a bit too acidly. Still, the thing he didn't know was scaring him. Baby's eyes were still twinkling with aggression when he answered.

"They're trying to take you back to heaven, all four of you, including Sam, the twins. Not Cas, thank God, because he was only a host. You're the experiments, and they want their investments back. I'm guessing they finally achieve their goal or we slip up when they get Leo in the future." Dean was surprised. He really thought once he'd gotten out that it would be over, he didn't imagine that they would try pursuing it.

"Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. You should know that. They've come five times in the past seven months, and I've killed twelve of my own brothers and sisters, solely Gatherers alone. _Shitload_ of demons too." He suddenly strode forward and gripped Dean's shirt, bumping him lightly into the wall a few feet behind him and even lifting him a few inches. His facial expression was frightening, something he'd never seen Baby wear to that degree before. His nose was wrinkled as his cheeks were brought up, his teeth gritted and exposed as his lips curled with anger, his dark eyebrows drawn down over his steely gaze.

_"So if you want me to stay away from you, fine_. It would make my life a thousand times easier. And you wouldn't last _half_ a day." He hissed through his gritted teeth, seething. He gave Dean one last shove and ripped his hand from his shirt. Dean was speechless. He'd killed these Gatherers before they could even have a clue, and they'd come for them five times already? He had no idea that Baby was working so hard on something like that too, but it seemed believable when he realized how worn down he'd been lately.

"Goodbye, Dean." He said acidly with his back turned to him, his canary yellow wings already outstretched and over his head, he vanished a second later. Dean stumbled forward and breathed heavily, trying to get his breath back. Dammit, he felt guilty that he'd treated Baby like crap, he had no idea that he'd kept everything away like that, he'd been a little preoccupied. He stumbled into the kid's bedroom, sinking his face into his palms. The babies were lightly napping, only stirring sometimes with little noises. It was as if what he'd seen had finally hit him, how bad it had looked. _Years_. The voice reminded him, whispering in his ear.

He stood up slowly, pressing his palms into his knees as they creaked. He bumped up to the crib and reached in, pulling out the nearest baby and holding him tightly to his chest. He spotted the light yellow pajamas out of the corner of his eye, Leo baby. The little one that Cas had named, the one that had his eyes. He thought back to when they'd sat in the car and Cas had suggested the name, even then Cas had thought he was going to die, and he'd been willing to sacrifice everything for them. Now, he didn't even know they existed.

A tear dripped from his eye as he rubbed the tiny back. How old would they be before he even met them? He dropped back into his chair, letting himself be pulled into the numb chasm, just for a little while. He was too distracted to notice that Robbie was not moving as much as usual, a paleness creeping onto his cheeks.

...

When Baby quickly came back to heaven, Cas was still in the corner, he flinched when he appeared. "It's okay, Cas. It's me." Baby quickly rushed over, going to help him to stand, but he did it easily himself. At least that was one thing that was better, his body had quickly gotten better when the energy-sucking objects had been removed.

Baby pulled him into a gentle hug, and Cas spoke up quietly. "I was burnt out, wasn't I?" He asked quietly into his shoulder, his eyes staring straight ahead. Baby didn't have to answer for him to know he had. It was so rare, an almost legend or myth for angels, most were able to finish the job.

"I...I don't understand." He said, flicking his eyes from side to side, just as Baby pulled away. "It's a long story, Cas. You'll remember, I promise." Cas went and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyebrows still brought together in confusion. He was trying to figure out what was going on, why he'd seen a stranger with his piece of his light inside of him. He reached down into himself, feeling the pieces of light he kept...

Cas suddenly began to panic, his eyelids flying open as he patted his chest. "These bonds-these bonds were not here before! And my other brothers-" He was afraid and confused, and he stopped suddenly, his hand dropping from his chest limply. "Sol, these are not angels." He was frozen with shock, and Baby wasn't exactly sure how to react. "They're part human, that's what you are feeling." He answered gently.

"But-" He felt at his chest again, as if he could physically touch the bonds. It was supposed to be impossible to have a part-angel, these felt different than nephilim, the closest thing. "Who are they?"

"Their names are Sam and Dean."

Cas cocked his head to the side and spoke up quickly. "Those are not angel names." He said in disbelief, narrowing his eyes and thinking hard. "How...how is this possible?"

"Heaven is a strange place now, Cas. That's why you must remain in this room until you're better, understand?" He said very seriously. "Yes." He answered quietly, sitting down and lying on his bed. Baby looked at him and thought back; all the Gatherers he'd killed, making sure they never came near his family, the countless demons he'd slain to protect them. The four on Earth were in constant danger, even now. He needed Cas to be safe, so at least he could guarentee that at least one member of his family could be safe.

He probably shouldn't have been so harsh with Dean, but he realized that was the only way to get through to him. Cas looked at him, a heartbroken expression on his face. "Am I going to get better?" He asked, curling up and settling on his bed.

"Yes. I promise." He replied in a tight voice, gently smoothing his hair down, just once. He hated that this had become of his brother. Cas had been anticipating that something bad would happen when he agreed to keep them, he'd known for a long time that he could have died. Baby was so happy he hadn't, but now he felt the crushing responsibility of making sure he kept the promise he'd just made.

...

Dean hadn't realized how much time he had spent just sitting. He suddenly brought his gaze upward when he saw that Baby had dropped into the room. He looked like he wasn't so angry anymore, he looked at Dean almost with empathy now as he leaned on the wall, one leg slightly bent, his arms crossed. There was a short silence as Dean just looked at him and he gazed back, Dean holding the baby almost protectively, even though he knew Baby wouldn't do anything to harm them.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I shouldn't have gotten so angry at you, I know how much you care about him." Baby spoke up quietly, his usual gentle voice returning. Dean didn't answer right away, he was just picturing Baby's extremely uncharacteristic snarl. He realized he wasn't the only one who always had Cas's best interests in mind. Dean was about to speak up when Baby beat him to it.

"I think...Dean, I think I can try to have you visit him. I want to see if that will work out." The words that were in Dean's throat immediately vanished. He could finally visit with him, he wouldn't be afraid of him, it wouldn't be in secret? He felt his chest puff up, finally.

"First thing, Dean. You _have _to stay focused, you can't let your mind wander and think about anything he's done. He won't dig into your memories, but he will be able to see anything you're thinking about currently. Do you understand?" Dean was almost too excited to really think about what he was telling him. "Yeah, yeah. I understand, I won't think about it."

"No hints, get it? We can't overwhelm him." Dean quickly set the sleeping Leo back down into the crib, once again too distracted to notice Robbie's face now had a light sheen of sweat beading on his cheeks. "Yeah, I promise." Baby rubbed his shoulder gently before he gripped it to pull him away, his little apology. Dean once again felt bad about how he'd treated him, but he was glad that his friend was so willing to forgive him for blatantly ignoring him.

Cas was sitting up on his bed, his back pressed to the wall, wringing his hands as he waited to meet his new brother, the part-angel, the one he'd gotten just a glimpse of a few minutes ago. He was afraid; why couldn't he remember? And why did he have this gaping hole in his chest? Had another one of his family died recently, without him knowing? He didn't know who that could possibly be, he already felt the absence of two of his little brothers. He lifted his eyes when he heard a faint rustling as the two men entered the small room he was confined in. He relaxed when he saw Soloviel's familiar face, but he felt a lump rise to his throat again when he saw the other person. He had smooth, golden wings, and dirty-blonde hair and light green eyes, he felt confused when he saw his expression, he couldn't quite put a name to it.

"Hey, Cas." The man said gently, hesitating to step forward as Baby moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Cas's eyes nervously flitted toward him, and Baby sat down on the bed, Cas felt a little reassured when he knew his younger brother wouldn't let him be in danger. "Cas, this is the person I told you came here earlier. Dean."

"Are you feeling okay?" Dean asked in that gentle tone again, his eye were alight with happiness. Cas was nervous, he was used to answering Soloviel honestly whenever he asked, but he didn't know what he should tell this man. "I'm decent. Incrementally tired." He answered uncertainly, tensing his body as Dean also went to sit on the edge of his bed. Cas didn't know what to say to him, so he decided to ask Soloviel the question he'd been contemplating when they'd left.

"Sol, Leviniel is dead, isn't he?" He asked quietly, more aware of the fresh hole than of anything else in his now-mysterious grace. He was so confused, he was afraid of his own memories. He felt a bit overwhelmed at the two pairs of eyes staring intently at him. He shied toward the wall, tucking the remains of his wings close to his body.

"Unfortunately. Around a month ago." Baby answered simply. Dean found something peculiar about him for the time being, he looked like he was tensing himself, preparing something that would come next, a tiny frown just beginning to show on his face.

"And Mirael?" Cas asked quietly, feeling the small hole in his grace, but it was heavily healed, like it had occurred a long time ago. Dean finally saw what had been hinted at before. "Hmmmm." Baby sighed, looking like he'd been struck with crushing sadness as he brought his legs in, pressing his back to the wall as he covered his eyes with his palms, tufts of dark hair stuck out from between his fingers as he was in a position of total grief. Dean found this peculiar; he was sad when he mentioned this Leviniel kid, but not like this. Dean could feel it through the bond as sadness billowed from the air around him, he didn't move a muscle from this defeated position.

Dean decided to speak up, he wanted to talk to Cas, have him possibly open up to him as he slowly remembered. "What's wrong with him? Who's Mirael?" He asked, concerned about his somber friend. Baby had always been the one comforting him when something bad happened to him, he'd rarely ever seen him display anything vulnerable, and nothing like this. Had Mirael been his Other?

Cas flitted his eyes to Dean's face. He knew by the way he looked at him that they had been close friends for a long time, but he struggled to try and recognize his face, feeling sad as his mind came up with absolutely nothing. He spoke up quietly, trying to comfort Baby with a light hand on his shoulder, but the guardian angel didn't acknowledge anything had happened. Cas opted to look at Baby instead, he still felt nervous when he looked to Dean.

"Mirael was his twin brother, and I don't only mean that they were born from the same angel." He started to say, when Baby finally spoke up, keeping his face buried in his hands. "_Real _twins, identical twins, two angels who derived from the exact same substance, a split in the light. Rare, rarer than almost anything else." He explained in a low voice, barely above that of a whisper. Dean brought his eyebrows together, he didn't even know something like that was possible for angels. Baby finally lifted his eyes, running his hands down his face and crossing them limply across his stomach, he looked so vulnerable, not like the angel who seemed to know everything, who could help anyone.

"I was not always like this, Dean. Believe it or not, Mirael and I, we were the guardian angel's little powerhouses. Obedient, unbending, heaven's perfect little soldiers." Dean was speechless. _Him? _The smoking angel, the one who defied heaven, protected his family so fiercely, the kindly rebel?

"We were closer than anything. We were the same substance, we were the same angel, in two bodies. Then, he just had to go and fall in love with a human." He paused in his story, flitting his eyes between Dean and Cas. He needed to explain everything to Dean, but he couldn't let Cas see what had happened. Cas had his eyes narrowed, he looked like he was finally remembering something.

"I remember that." He said quietly, and both Dean and Baby's heads whipped to look at him. "You do?" Baby asked, a tiny bit of hopefulness shining in his sad eyes. Cas blinked, thinking hard. "Yes. He fell in love with the human, then the nephilim." Dean was confused. What the hell was that?

"It's good you remember that, Cas. That was only around two hundred years ago." Dean was about to speak up, ready to burst out with the words 'two hundred?', but Baby quickly added on. "They were angry with him. That was when I began to change, I wasn't strict and so conforming anymore. I dropped off the grid to help him."

Dean hated how out of the loop he felt. What was he trying to say? He didn't understand the words he was using. He couldn't help it as memories rushed into his head, when he'd been excluded before, when he'd first gotten out, and that thought led to another, that day he'd seen Cas behind that glass wall, skinny and sickly, the splatter of red on the ground in the woods, when he'd collapsed there on the tree stump, carrying him back, when Baby had announced that he was sick because he was carrying fledglings. Dean suddenly had an extremely uncomfortable, suffocating feeling around his head, somehow he could tell that Baby had blocked his memories from getting to Cas. The atmosphere suddenly got very tense, Cas had a panic in his eyes as he whipped his head from Dean to Baby.

"What's going on?" He asked innocently, as Baby reached out to physically grip Dean's head between his hands, trying hard to restrain any more memories from slipping out. _Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!_

Cas's breathing began to speed up as his eyes flitted from face to face. "What happened to me?" He asked in a frightened voice, frantically pressing his palm to multiple spots on his chest. Why was he so empty, absences riddling his grace? His breathing involuntarily became heavier and heavier as he felt panic rise. Why had he been burnt out? He was struggling to calm down as the two quickly vanished. He pressed himself to the white wall, keeping his hand pressed firmly to his chest as he felt his ribcage rise and fall, staring at the space where his brothers had been just a second ago.

Baby had brought Dean back to the apartment, and Dean frowned deeply and looked into his guardian angel's kind, now sad face. "I'm sorry, Bay. I was trying." Baby had a defeated look in his eye as he pulled out a chair and sat down heavily in it. "It's okay, Dean. I'm not angry at you. I needed to tell you the rest of my story anyway, the parts he doesn't remember." He was silent for a second before he spoke up again.

"How do you think I knew how to do all that for Cas? Where to get the energy, what was happening?" He asked softly, staring directly in front of him, his eyes were misty and his gaze was far away.

"I don't know. I thought all angels had like instincts or something like that." He had no idea where this was going, why he had asked him that.

"No, Dean. My brother carried nephilim, half-human, half-angels. The same thing happened to him, the energy sucking away, the blood, being so weak. I used to be much different, when this happened everything changed, but that wasn't the final blow. I did everything to help Mirael, but I didn't know enough." He buried his head in his arms. "I lost him, I lost all of them. God, I haven't heard his name in years." He breathed deeply, shakily. Dean had never seen him like this, and he couldn't imagine what he must have gone through. The same angel, more or less, just in two bodies.

"But if you said grace dies wherever it resides-"

"Yes, me and him were made of the same grace. When he died, I lost so much of myself, the slight deviations I made were the only things that saved me. I was never going to be that solider again. They told me I went crazy, I don't disagree. I was obsessed with trying to go back and save him, go back and maybe try to save my nephews, I might have been able to carry them. Nothing worked, it was an aspect I couldn't change. You wouldn't want to know me then, Dean." He unconciously pulled his pack of cigarettes out, and he stared at them in his hand when he realized he had.

"I didn't mean it, what I said before. I'll quit for them." He said quietly, not looking like he wanted to let go of the pack just yet.

"Let's have this be your last one." Dean said kindly, pulling up a chair and sitting backwards on it, resting his head on his arms. Baby shot him a grateful look and lit his cigarette, breathing in deeply.

"No one wanted to be assigned to these prophesized Winchesters, no one wanted to have to be responsible for people destined for some pretty heavy misfortunes. I was a disgrace in my class, but it wasn't possible to strip my title. But the world works mysteriously, let me tell you that much. John was the first one I personally protected, he was mostly the one who brought me back to myself." Dean realized, that must have been one of the reasons he'd always been so loyal to his dad.

"Then there were you two. Yeah, it was damn hard to watch you go through what you went through. But you pulled me out of that too, I began to see the world like I should, protectors and protectees. If I hadn't lost him, I wouldn't have had you two. So I'm at least grateful for that." He closed his eyes, taking a deep drag from the cigarette, the paper crinkling just barely audibly. Now he was going to say another sad thing, Dean could tell.

"When Cas started showing the same symptoms..." He darted his eyes away, he felt a rush of emotion like it had just happened yesterday. "I knew that I wasn't going to lose any of them this time. In my obsession, I'd come up with things I could have done diffently, but I never thought I'd have to use them. I still wish I could have prevented more."

"No, Baby. You did everything right, all three of them are alive and kicking. I almost can't believe you managed most of it on your own." Dean said, suddenly feeling a pull to have one of his kids in his arms again. He was afraid all over again when he thought about how close it had been to losing any of them. "Thank you for telling me all of this." They were comfortably silent for a while, until Baby had sucked his last cigarette down to the tiniest of stubs.

"Cas is frightened, he's been asking me to come back. I need to go." He said solemny, mashing out the bit left, that dissolved into a spot of ash.

"Thank you, Baby." He replied almost unemotionally. Dean understood what he meant; he couldn't see Cas again like that, not until he regained his memories. Baby disappeared, and Dean couldn't help but remember Cas seeing his thoughts, rising up to panic, breathing hard. _Feel better soon, Cas. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. _He rose from his seat, remembering something. Well, those diapers aren't gonna buy themselves.

...

Dean shot up in bed when he heard a loud wail peirce the silent night air. He'd been sleeping rockily, and he vaguely remembered hearing sounds of soft crying but being too tired to do anything. He got up quickly and rushed to the room, he was worried when he heard Robbie wailing like he'd never heard him sound before. They'd never cry like this, they were usually so content. He quickly rushed into the room, he found Sam desparately bouncing him, an overwhelmed and afraid expression on his face. What was wrong? He'd been so tuckered out, he should be sleeping soundly right now.

"I don't know what's wrong! He won't calm down, he's burning up..." Dean quickly took him from Sam, securing him tightly in his arms. His tiny body was shivering, even though his forehead was burning with fever.

"God, Robbie. You were fine a few minutes ago! What's wrong?" He asked him, as if he could tell him. His crying was too different this time, like he was in pain. Maybe if he took him outside, the wind and the cool night air could help calm his fever. He padded out to the kitchen area and slid open the glass doors to the small balcony they had, and he stepped outside, gently laying his hand on his burning forehead. Eyes that were usually curious and bright looked dull and vacant. It was strangely bright out here, and that was when he was struck with realization as he lifted his eyes to the full, brightly glowing moon, the first one since they'd been born.

He quickly went back inside, collapsing onto the couch as he was seized with fear. What would happen to him every month? Would he turn into a werewolf completely every single month, hurt people? He stroked his hair with a shaking hand, hating how much the skin was burning under his touch as the baby cried out uncharacteristically loudly. His hand began to glow lightly as he tried to shoot out some healing energy, but it wasn't helping at all. Suddenly, the kid completely stopped crying, which was almost eerier than the loud wailing. He breathed irregularly, his small chest sporadically bursting to rise and fall.

"No, no, Bobby. Please, don't turn. Don't, please." He begged, pulling him tightly against him. "Please, Rob. Don't do that." The shape stayed distinctly human, as his breathing stayed irregular and almost ragged as he hiccuped and began a low, pitiful cry. Dean felt a tear slip down his cheek, and he found himself talking to him again.

"I'm sorry, Robbie. I'm so sorry that I let you get this way. I was scared of you at first, and now I realize I should have been scared for you. I'm going to fix this, I promise. I'll find the cure." His heart broke when he realized how often this was going to occur; every single month, twelve times a year. He pulled the shaking and feverish body closer, wrapping him tightly into his arms. He realized that this was going to be much more difficult than he'd originally imagined.

He didn't quiet down for hours, and his voice was starting to show the beginnings of raspy chords when he finally settled down again, dropping into an exhausted sleep in Dean's arms, his body was colder and clammy with sweat dampening his whole baby blue footsie. Dean's eyes peeled open, and he saw the kitchen digital clock in the dark, it was close to three in the morning.

He groggily stood up, stumbling back into the bedroom and forcing himself to stay awake just long enough to change him into his new pair of pajamas, he was in a dead sleep, his small limbs were heavy and easy to manipulate as he pulled him into a fresh one, a cotton footsie that was white with little blue sharks. He pushed his damp hair from his tiny, pale forehead. He couldn't even fathom how much guilt he felt. He was only a few weeks old, and he'd gone through pain that no baby should ever have to feel. And the fact that this would occur every month for years and years... he felt another tear drip from his eye as he carried the limp body back to his shared crib. He understood now why Robbie had described himself as weak and sickly when he'd met him as a teenager. It was really going to happen until then, seventeen years...

This just wasn't right, not at all. He needed Cas, he needed his help. He was too tired to send out a prayer tonight, he'd already sent one his way today anyway. He dropped into his own bed, he should have been able to sleep soundly in the silence, but he slept rockily as worry kept creeping into his mind.

Dean was horrified the next morning when he went to check on the boys, and he only found Leo was up, sitting up in his crib and absent-mindedly sucking on his balled up fist as he played with a plastic rattle in his other hand. Robbie was still fast asleep, and he still didn't look healthy this morning, his cheeks were still pale and he breathed shallowly. He quickly gathered him into his arms, and his pajamas were still dry, but his skin still felt just as clammy and cold with a misting of sweat just like last night. He went out into the kitchen, not quite sure what else he was supposed to do as he wandered around the house. He reached out to sense what room Sam was in, and he was surprised when he couldn't find him in any of them.

His question was answered when his brother dropped into place a few feet in front of him, carrying a brown paper bag. "Sam." Dean spoke up in a voice tight with worry. "He still hasn't woken up, and he still seems sick... I don't know what to do, I don't know what he needs." He cried out in a worried voice, looking down into his small slack face again. There was a beat of silence before Sam spoke up again, so gently as if he were the person that had to break the news of someone's death.

"What do you think he needs, Dean?"

Dean smoothed his dark hair down, not wanting to believe what he knew had to be the truth. That time he'd seen Leo at the market, and then he'd pulled open the fish to find the missing heart. "No, Sam. That's not true." He said in a detached voice, even though he knew it had to be the truth. He just didn't want to believe it, not his son, not a baby.

Sam set the paper bag down on the kitchen counter, and Dean felt his gut twist as he saw that the bottom was dark with blood. He'd gotten a heart, it was inside the bag.

"We should liquidize it and feed it to him with his bottle."

Dean felt his throat tighten as he said this. "That's not...Sam, that's not a human's, is it?" He asked in a tight voice, he felt like maybe this whole thing was just a giant nightmare, a strange dream induced by his lack of sleep lately.

"Of course not! It's bovine." Sam seemed a little taken aback that he'd believe he'd do something like that. "Come on, we should get this over with quickly." Dean unemotionally pulled out the blender with one arm and plugged it in, dropping the heart inside, all the while rubbing Robbie's back in small circles. He stared at the dark red object through the warping glass, shutting the lid. He paused a second before hitting the blend button.

"This doesn't feel right, Sam." He said in a small voice, he just couldn't tear his eyes from the great, dark red hunk in the glass. He couldn't give something so repulsive, so poisonous to such a small child. He was too pure, too innocent...

"It's not like you're aiding a killer monster, Dean! This is _Robbie. _Look at him, he needs this!" Dean looked into his tiny face, and his cheeks were still shining and pale, but he had opened his eyes this time. Dean hadn't even noticed that he'd woken up, he hadn't even made a peep. His eyes were much too tired for someone his age.

"This is medicine, okay? We're not going to tell him anything else." He said after a few seconds in a stone-cold voice, pressing down the blender's button as the air filled with a high-pitched whir. When it finally turned off, they exchanged glances.

"We won't tell him. Not until he's old enough to understand." Sam agreed softly, and he hated that look of sadness that shone from his brother's green eyes. He was being pulled back into the hole he'd struggled to get out of once again. He wordlessly took out a bottle, scooping out a spoonful of the red blend and tapping it into the bottle, covering that with milk and swishing it all around as he shook the bottle back and forth with one arm, securing the motionless kid with his other hand.

When he finally brought it to the child's lips, the change was outstanding. Blood returned to his cheeks instantaneously, his eyes went from dull to sharper, he started to squirm and move his limbs in the usual way a kid his age should. He finally made his first noise, a little burble as he reached an uncoordinated hand up to play with Dean's ear.

Dean looked up to Sam with an expression like this had all finally sunk in. Sam wrapped him into a hug, hating that he was feeling that sadness return. "It's all going to be okay, Dean. Everything's going to be fine."

"I still love you, Robbie." Dean said in a voice watery with unshed tears, dipping his head to plant a kiss on the child's head. Sam pulled him into another hug as his breathing became thicker, tears silently falling from his eyes. He didn't know what the hell he was supposed to say to him now. He didn't think it was going to help if he confirmed that this wasn't his or the kid's fault, or that it was only going to be once a month. That was still too damn often.

"You're not a monster, this is not your fault." Dean repeated firmly, taking the bottle away and cradling the now-lively baby in his arms, ready to slip him back into his crib with his brother. _Cas. _He found himself starting to pray again, and he didn't quite know what he wanted to say this time. Tell him that things had taken a bad turn? Beg for him to come back again? There was one good thing he could tell him, Robbie hadn't turned at all during the whole ordeal. _Cas, things aren't as bad as they could have been. I think you were the one who kept most of the uptake away, and I wanted to thank you._ He knew Cas wouldn't understand what he meant, but just praying at least made him feel a little better. He gently placed Robbie down into his crib again, straightening up and closing his eyes. _I know I tell you this almost every day, but please, try and get better. _

He looked at the two little babies in their crib again, they had started to interact with each other and the things around them now. Robbie grabbed the rattle from Leo's hand, and the fair-haired baby looked a little upset. They had two stuffed animals in there with them that Dean had bought for them, a Pooh bear and Tigger. Leo turned his head and saw the stuffed animal tiger, and suddenly the fluffy, striped cub had taken his place, pouncing with light feet onto the dark-haired baby, who giggled and rolled to his back, dropping the rattle as he was reaching out and grabbing onto the furry orange-and-black paw that rested lightly on his doughy chest. Leo melted back to his human form and triumphantly grabbed the rattle again.

_They're so beautiful, Cas. I miss you. _He gripped the crib lightly, curling his fingers around the soft wood. He knew he didn't know who he was, but Baby had said that praying to him made him happy, so he continued. _Come home soon, Cas. I love you.__  
_


	21. Six of Hearts

_Hello! Please tell me what you think about this chapter, I'm going forward into their childhoods, which is super fun for me to write and I hope you enjoy reading them! Thanks Help Im An Angel for your review, I was feeling a little discouraged about this story and that made me so happy, so thanks loads! Thanks new favoriters & followers Supernaturalchick85 & Cattatra! Please review, they really mean a lot to me :)_

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Dean pulled all the laundry into the basket, sighing. So, this was who he was now, going and washing dozens of baby onesies and nappies. He looked at one of the onesies, a little yellow one. It didn't look _that_ dirty, right? Maybe he could salvage it? He brought it up to his nose and immediately scrunched his face up, throwing it back into the laundry hamper. Nope, that was _not_ clean.

He shoved the laundry into the washer in the basement, closing the circular door. He stood there for a second before he pulled the knob, just staring in at the clothes inside the glass bubble. Even though he had Sam and Baby's help, sometimes he still felt so alone. Sometimes he just needed a few seconds to let the sadness take him over completely, and he sighed and let the moment pass, pulling the knob and hearing the water rush in as he went back upstairs, carrying the empty hamper.

He heard some commotion at the front desk, a little kid's voice crying and whining in a scared voice. "Please, I need to know if they still live here!" The kid, Dean guessed he was a little boy, spoke up. Dean figured he was good with kids; maybe he could help. He had to pass by the front desk anyway.

He climbed the stairs and saw a small boy looking up and talking to the receptionist, wringing his hands together as his young, scared voice pierced the air. " I need to find them!"

"Are you lost? Do you know your mom's cell phone number?" She tried asking him sweetly, but the little boy stamped his foot in frustration as tears came through his voice. "No, I need to know if they still live here! Room 319, who lives there?" The receptionist looked confused, she didn't know what to do with this frightened little kid.

Dean felt like maybe he could help, he'd gotten through to kids who were on the verge of tantrums before, maybe he could help him find what he was looking for. He looked at the little boy, his back was to him but he guessed he looked around five or six and was now wiping his face while the receptionist looked on, a lady obviously not used to dealing with kids. The boy happened to turn around right at the time Dean had finished climbing the stairs. He looked into the young face, cheeks pink with frustration and shining with tear tracks, his light green eyes shimmering with unshed tears. _Oh, my god._ He knew that face.

"Robbie?!" He exclaimed in disbelief, and the little kid's face lit up and he ran toward him. Dean was extremely confused at seeing the little kid. But how was he here? Why was no one with him?

Robbie noticed his confused face and stopped his run in his tracks. He took out the demon knife from a pocket inside his jacket, extending his arm and getting ready to cut into his tiny, pale arm, a scared-but-trying-to-be-brave look on his young face.

"Whoa, whoa! Uh, ha ha." Dean threw his hands up and the kid hesitated, Dean laughed nervously, motioning for him to put the knife away and he looked up at the receptionist, who was looking at him with a dissaproving expression.

"This is your son?" She asked, looking like she was ready to snatch up the phone and call child protection.

"Yeah, I'm his son! And thanks for nothin', lady!" Robbie quipped at her, reaching out and grabbing Dean's hand so casually, starting to walk away. "Robbie, none of that!" Dean hissed at him, looking back at the woman. "Um, thanks for your help?" He said uncertainly as Robbie turned his head and stuck his tongue out at her before facing forward again.

Dean put his hand on the small of his back and began to lead him away, finally reaching the stairwell before he began to talk to him in low whispers. "Robbie, what are you doing here? What happened?" He asked quickly, pressing on the elevator's up button. The little kid bit his lip and looked up at him with teary eyes, squeezing his hand tighter.

"I...I don't know! This is the first time I time traveled, and I got really scared! I didn't know if we still lived here!" He sniffled, pulling on Dean's hand as they stepped into the elevator. Dean was somewhat surprised; he just wasn't able to picture the tiny babies as anything other than infants or teenagers.

_I never thought I've have to deal with something like this, never in a million years_. Dean thought as he held the small kid's hand and the elevator climbed upwards. He knew in the back of his mind that they would obviously have hiccups in learning angelic skills, though. But how would he get him back? The floors ticked by and they finally made it to their floor, where he knocked on the apartment door. Sam answered, and looked extremely confused as he saw Dean holding the little boy's hand.

"Uh, Sam, this is Robbie." Dean said, looking a little weirded out himself. The kid spotted the two babies sitting near the fire on a blanket inside and barreled past. "Hey, cool!" He said excitedly, plopping himself down with them.

Sam and Dean exchanged a glance and instantly began to whisper-fight with each other when the kid was out of earshot.

"What the hell-" "I don't freaking know, man! I just see him and-" "You have to fix this right now!" "How? I can't manage flying like six years-" "A little kid did!" Sam pointed at him, shushing him feverently. "Go talk to him!" He commanded Dean, nudging him foward. "We found out way too much last time, before they were even born. This kid needs to get back, like, _now_." Sam hissed at him, and Dean put his hands up innocently. "Okay, okay!" He cleared his throat, finally returning to normal volume.

"Uh, hey Robbie. So what did you say happened to you?" He looked at the little kid, who was lifting the baby Robbie into the air, a huge smile on his face as the baby giggled and burbled.

"Whoa, this is cool!" The kid laughed, and then turned to look at Dean, a mischiveous little glint in his young eyes. "Hey, dad. Would this be considered masterbating? Get it? Cuz I'm playing with myself!" the little kid smiled at his joke with his gappy-toothed mouth, an expectant look on his face.

Dean burst out laughing. "Oh my _god_, my son is awesome."

Sam looked taken aback. "Dean, this kid is four freaking years old!" He said, extending an arm to point at him. "He shouldn't know about that!"

Robbie pouted and crossed his arms. "Am not! I'm turning six in one month!" He exclaimed, almost offended that he'd been taken for such a little baby.

"Hell, I knew what half that stuff was at my age." Dean defended himself, still chuckling at the joke.

"Heh heh, yeah Uncle Sammy. Loosen up, 'cause if I shoved coal up your butt I'd get a diamond in one hour." He said in a very little-kid voice, smiling his smile with a few gaps of teeth.

"You guys are disgusting." Sam couldn't help but start to smile, which he tried to hide.

Robbie turned his attention back to his baby self, who was staring up at him with a curious expression as he chewed on his chubby palm. He looked at him curiously; was it really him? "I wonder what would happen if...?" Robbie went and pinched the baby's arm. The chubby little boy froze, as if in shock, and then burst into wails. Robbie looked almost shocked that this little person could make so much noise. "Hm. I didn't feel anything. What would happen if I got like a scar or tattoo or something?" He asked, being the typical explorative way kids that age are.

"Okay, that's enough." Dean said, quickly scooping up the baby and bobbing him up and down, trying to calm him down. Robbie looked confused. "Wow, I was such a crybaby."

"Okay, Rob. Tell me what happened, how you got here." Dean said, bouncing and patting the baby's back, looking curiously at the almost-six year old that had appeared so mysteriously.

"I don't know. It was an accident." Robbie replied, looking shaken up again. "But I want to go home." He said quietly, bringing his hands together and wringing them.

"Why isn't anyone, I mean why aren't we, well, people from your time coming to get you?" Dean asked, sighing as baby Robbie had finally quieted down and rested on his shoulder. He should probably get them to bed soon, it was getting close to eight.

"Uncle Sol and Uncle Sam were up in heaven, and you're up there too, I think. I don't think you know yet!" Robbie began to whine in a scared voice, panic rising easily like it did for most little kids. He had that look of a kid lost in the grocery store.

"Why am I in heaven? Why did I leave you two alone, god, that's not okay." Dean said, angry at himself. He shouldn't leave them both alone, ever, because things like this could happen.

"You said it was important." Robbie said quietly, he looked like he didn't know anything other than that, like he was used to it. Did he really not tell them things that often?

"Well, what about Cas?" Dean asked almost automatically.

Dean felt his stomach drop as the little boy brought his eyebrows together in confusion and pursed his lips. "Who's Cas?" He asked innocently, cocking his head to the side, the 's' whistling through a gap from a lost baby tooth.

Dean felt like suddenly he was hit by a wall of bricks as realization crushed down on him. "Who's..." He echoed unemotionally, setting the baby down by instinct. Sam immediately picked up on what was going on, leading Robbie down the hallway by the small of his back. "Here, it's getting late. Baby'll take you back tommorow, he said he'll visit. Here, go pick out a bedtime story." He fired of quickly, but the bright child wasn't thrown off track so easily.

"Who's Cas, Uncle Sammy? Is she our mom?" Dean barely heard him say that when he collapsed in a chair at the kitchen table, burying his head in his palms. He couldn't even quite register what was being implied. _Six years_? Six years would pass, maybe even more? They didn't even know they didn't have a mom. He sat in silence before even trying to reach out and communicate with Soloviel. He was absolutely baffled. Six years? He repeated again, rubbing his face. That part was set in stone, but how much longer would it be from there?

_Sol. Bud, I need you_. He called out desparately, making no move to leave from the table even when baby Robbie started to hiccup and cry out. He thought he had started to gain control, he hadn't had an outbreak in a long time, but suddenly there was a low rumble, and all the faucets in the kitchen burst with water, all the stovetops flared with with orange flames as ice cubes cascaded from the dispenser in a mass. The kitchen lights began to flicker, flaring brightly before dimming again. There were a few small clinks; dammit, he'd gotten to the glass cups. Robbie began crying even louder.

Suddenly, he felt palms on the sides of his head, securing him somewhat, much like when he'd first returned to Earth and met Baby. _Breathe, Dean_.

Dean opened his eyes but kept them lowered in pain. "Six years." He stated blankly. There was a short silence before Baby finally sighed and spoke up.

"What he's doing is damn difficult, Dean. You have to understand that. He's b-"

"Building from a blood cell, yeah, you've told me that before." He sighed and ran his hand down his face, trying to push the noise of the wailing baby from his head for just one second. "So where would he stand now, if you were using that scale?"

Baby screwed up his face in thought. "I suppose he'd be at...a cluster of skin cells? Like a mole." He replied, hating how much Dean's face fell.

"A _mole_? I thought he'd at least be like, a brain or hand or something like that by now!" He exclaimed, hating that tears were spilling from his eyes.

"It's not exactly at that scale, Dean! Still, that is pretty good progress considering it's only been a few months since you last asked me that! If he keeps going at this rate, I'm estimating that he'll be back by at most ten years."

"_Ten_?!" Dean burst out, and a lightbulb in the kitchen exploded.

"I said at most! That's barely any time considering how long our lifespans are! His wings are regrowing, his grace is building up...he's been healing rapidly, Dean. And the time he's away...it's not his fault. He's trying."

Dean couldn't bring himself to answer this time. Dean slid his hand down his face as Robbie cried loudly, and the last of the water from his outburst dripped from the faucets. "Please see why he's crying." He spoke up in a hoarse voice, he didn't want to talk about this anymore. He buried his face in his hands and just looked at the blackness, at the absence of light.

"Dean..."

"What?" He breathed, going and rubbing his hands through his hair in a frustrated motion.

"You didn't check the calendar today, have you?"

No, not now. If the little kid was back here, in this time, that meant...

"Bring him back now, then!" Dean's voice rose to a panic. Baby looked at him sadly and answered. "Dean, I can't. Travel expends a lot of energy, and even if I carried him, when he's this weak-"

Dean instantly sprung up and tore into the back room, where the little boy was already beginning to toss and turn, and a very distraught Sam was frozen holding a book, not quite sure what to do. "He seemed fine a minute ago, a little out of it but-" Dean instantly went and wrapped his arms around the small boy, who whimpered and drew himself closer. He felt almost a little distant as the kid buried his head into his chest, he was still shocked at the news.

"It hurts." Robbie moaned in a pitiful voice, again the 's' lisping through his missing teeth. Dean smoothed his hair down almost unemotionally, he was still hit with shock at those innocently spoken words;_ Who's Cas? _He'd never visit in all that time? He'd never even tell them about him?

"I'm know, I'm sorry." He replied quietly, feeling his heart squeeze in his chest. So far, he'd seen the effects it had on the small baby and obviously he'd never been able to voice what was happening to him. He'd never seen how the teenage version dealt with it either. He just then realized; the baby.

"I've got it, Dean. Don't worry." Sam read his thought, instantly slipping from the room. The baby's wails got quieter a few moments later. Now, it was just Dean alone with his thoughts as he held his kid. He was so big, it was very strange for him.

"We'll bring you back tommorow, okay?" He said, maybe a bit too loudly. Robbie groaned and tightened his arms around him, and Dean only looked up from that dark head of hair when he felt that Baby was standing by the door.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Dean." He said quietly, empathetically. "Cas is trying so hard. I'm helping him in any way I can."

Dean said nothing as he lowered his eyes and just stared at the soft, pitch-black hairs under his chin as he cupped his head and brought the small head closer to his shoulder. His tiny body shuddered, and he felt moisture on his shirt from his tears.

"I know that you don't want to be left with them by yourself-"

"I'm not being 'left with' _anything_." Dean growled, cutting him off. "I know I didn't choose this, that I didn't know for a long time. But I'm not 'left with' them, got it?" His voice was careful not to rise to give Robbie a headache, but his low voice was angry and rumbling.

"I get it. I'll take him back as soon as it's over." He dismissed, clearly guilty that he'd obviously said the wrong thing. He slipped from the room with a rustling of feathers, and Robbie choked back a sob as he gripped tightly to his shirt.

"It will be over soon, baby. I'm so sorry." He smoothed down his hair on the side of his head, it was already damp with sweat. "I'm sorry, sweatheart."

Just like before, Dean had found out much more than he'd wanted to about his sons. _Friggin time travel_. He thought so himself, tightening his grip as the little boy's body went through another shudder. He'd been so afraid when he'd found out that monsters were going to be his kids, strange creatures that the world had never seen. One thing he'd been afraid of was maybe he wouldn't love them because of their little 'problem'. But now he realized that he loved them too much. He would do anything to cure them, and it killed him that he didn't even know where to start looking. And now his fears had been confirmed; it didn't get any easier for his son as he got older, the pain he went through during a full moon seemed even worse than when he'd been a baby, because he could express it.

"I'm sorry, dad." The little kid piped up in a small, watery voice. God dammit. He could just tell the kid would be apologizing every time, he said the words like it was a requirement. "Shhhh, shh. It's okay, I'm not mad. You'll be okay." Dean felt tears spilling from his eyes as he gently planted a kiss on the head of hair and hugged him securely.

_Cas, please. If you can hear me, patch up as quick as you can. Leo and Robbie need you. I need you, I can't keep doing this by myself. Please_. He prayed, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing any remaining tears from his eyes. He couldn't let his son see that he was crying too.

Baby slipped into the room in the small hours in the morning, he saw Dean and Robbie curled up together, both exhausted and sleeping deeply. He knew the moment had passed, if it hadn't the kid would still be awake and struggling.

"C'mere, Robbie." He whispered, pulling the little boy to be secure in his arms. The kid let out a low moan after being woken up from such an exhausted sleep, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders. Baby stretched his wings and flew wordlessly through time, trying to direct as much of the energy-sapping onto himself, but he felt just some slip onto the little kid.

Finally, he landed with light feet around six years in the future. It was the dead of night here as well, the apartment was competely dark and in a blanket of silence. There was just a small glow from the kitchen; Dean had stayed up to wait for him. Baby silently padded into the kitchen, the bright light contracting his pupils. The digital clock showed 3:08 in the morning, a faint ticking from elsewhere was the only other sound in the quiet kitchen.

"Good morning, Bay." Dean said groggily, rubbing his face. He'd stayed up all night, waiting for them to come back. He slid clumsily from the kitchen stool he'd been resting on and extended his arms for Robbie.

Robbie sniffled and let himself be wrapped up into Dean's chest, his head lolling onto his shoulder as he folded his tiny, clammy arms around his neck. Dean gently smoothed down his hair and wiped off his sweaty forehead. Robbie whimpered slightly and he held him closer. "I know, I know, I'm sorry." He smoothed down his hair again as he pressed his cheek to the top of his shoulder. "Don't scare me like that again." He somewhat scolded him.

"But you were there the whole time, you idgit. You helped." Robbie said in an exhausted voice. Dean just rubbed his back, smiling slightly.

"Thank you, Baby." He said quietly, he knew Robbie would probably have a bad headache right now. Baby looked at him sadly, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Is there anything that you wanted me to tell him?" He said softly, pressing his lips together and looking at him with sad grey-blue eyes. The Dean back were he came from was scared and lost, and would be waking up empty-armed and empty-hearted after a grueling night.

"Tell him to stop being such a pussy. That I'm fine." Dean said, pulling Robbie higher on his shoulder with a gentle upward push. Robbie groaned again, readjusting his arms on his neck. "What's pussy?" He asked innocently. "No, no honey. Sorry, that's a bad word." Dean slightly chuckled and turned around to tuck Robbie back in bed.

"Really, Dean? Nothing? You just found out that it was going to be six years..." Baby said a little bit louder this time. Dean half-turned around, and Baby could see that he was remembering that night, when he'd found out it was going to be so much longer than he'd been hoping.

Dean held Robbie closer, and Baby could tell that he was much sadder than he wanted to let his sons know. He gently bobbed him up and down, sometimes that helped with his knotted stomach when he went through a full moon. "Tell him it's going to be okay." He finally said seriously, turning away.

"He won't believe you." Baby said quietly. Dean didn't look back at his friend, he gently rubbed Robbie's back. Poor kid; he literally had a double hit, he remembered he just got back from a full moon, and now he was exhausted from the ride back home.

"Just tell him." He said, clearing his throat to make sure he didn't hear the little water in his throat. There was a flapping sound and a flash of light, and Dean went back to the boy's bedroom, slipping Robbie back into his bed and pulling the covers over him. It broke his heart when he saw how pale and clammy his little face was, when he'd just gone through this a mere week ago. What bad luck, that of all the days he chose to go back to...

"Try and sleep, okay?" He said gently. The little kid was going through so much, tonight might be one of his hardest nights. There was no way he would be able to go to school tomorrow.

"Dad?" He asked, pulling his covers up more and burying his clammy face into his pillow. "Who's Cas? Uncle Sammy told me it was a person very special to you who saved our lives. Is she our mom? " Dean felt his heart squeeze. He knew he should have told them the truth, but every time he wanted to bring it up he just couldn't. He couldn't even hint at it as more time went by, soon it had already been six years and he still hadn't said a peep on the subject.

"Don't worry about it." He decided to say instead, gently brushing the dark hair from his face. He turned off the light and stood at the doorway, not facing the twins. Dammit, now they had a name, and they'd probably start asking soon. He didn't know what he was going to tell them, if he even could bring himself to tell them anything.

_Sam_. He called out, hoping his brother would be able to answer today. He'd joined with Baby and the rebels again, and they were slowly but surely working to topple heaven's instituiton, and most times they were both working hard.

_It was tonight, wasn't it? _He replied, he'd remembered how old he said he was when he visited, five almost six. And he could tell from his brother's tone of voice that it was probably the most likey case_. I'll pick up something_.

_Thanks, Sammy. _He replied wearily, heading off to bed. He wished that Robbie had never come back, that he wouldn't have to find out that way. Six years is a long time to be spent waiting.

...

Dean woke up earlier that morning, around 7:30 to call the school. He zoned out as he listened to the dial tone, hoping with all his heart that Robbie didn't spread that information on to Leo, they told each other everything. He knew he probably would anyway.

"Hi, I'd like to call my son Robert Winchester out sick today? He's caught a little stomach bug." While the lady was replying, Dean felt a tug on the hem of his shirt. He looked down and saw Leo, he was holding his Tigger stuffed animal and sniffling, looking up to him with those clear blue pools.

"Me too, I feel sick too, see?" He attempted to cough a few times, a horrible impersonation in Dean's opinion. Dean smiled sadly. "You have to go to school bud, I'm sorry."

"I can't, I don't feel good." He insisted again, tears coming to his eyes as he pleaded. He was worried about Robbie, he'd never seen him look that bad before. In his eyes, he was scared his brother was dying. Dean realized this and rubbed his soft, golden hairs, turning his head back upward to talk on the phone.

"Oh, um, sorry, I forgot to mention that my other son Leon is also sick, I didn't know if I had to make two seperate calls. No? Okay, thanks. Yeah, I have noticed there was something going around. A parent-teacher night?" He covered the phone reciever with his palm, turning away. "Shhhiiii-" He brought the phone to his ear again. "Yep, I'll try to make it. Six-thirty? Okay, great. Thanks."

"You said a bad word." Leo corrected him, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. "Sorry, bud." Dean smiled and ruffled his hair. That was just like them, wasn't it? He was constantly amazed at how different they were, on one hand there was Robbie, making sex jokes and sticking his tongue out at people, and then Leo, who scolded him for just saying the beginnings of a swear word.

"Go back to bed, bug. I just need to make one more phone call." Leo didn't move, instead he gripped tightly to his leg, resting his cheek on the side. Dean could tell what he was thinking; he was afraid to go back in the room by himself, to see Robbie sick again for no reason when he'd already been sick a week ago. Dean rubbed his head, smiling, he was such the little cuddler, wasn't he?

He dialed the phone number, he wanted to get this over with and get back into bed as soon as possible. Even if Robbie hadn't gone back briefly, he still wouldn't have wanted to get to work today. He'd finally been given the okay to visit with Cas last night, Baby had told him his memories were close to the mark of when he'd first met Dean, and he thought that maybe seeing him would help jog his memory again.

"Uh, hey Bill. Sorry, I won't be able to make it in today. My kids both caught the bug that's going around. I'll be able to make it in tommorow though, yeah. Alright, thank you so much. Yeah, I'll do a little overtime. Bye now." He hung up the phone and put it back into its holder, pausing for a second and staring at the phone for a few short seconds. He wished Baby hadn't told him to come back that night, Cas still wasn't ready, and he'd left his boys by themselves, and then that had happened.

Leo suddenly grew extremely quiet and distanced himself, he always tried to give his dad some space whenever he thought he was in a sad mood. Dean wordlessly padded into the bedroom and slid up on the bed and curled protectively around Robbie, smoothing the back of his finger along his pale cheek. He heard Leo climb up after him, not making a peep as he silently lay on his other side, except for when he asked one question.

"Is RJ dying?" He asked quietly, a tiny watery waver in his voice.

"No, honey." He answered quickly, assuring him as he tried to count the seconds between Robbie's irregular breathing, the more even it became meant he'd be feeling bettter. "Okay." Leo whispered, clearly relieved as he settled down on the other side of his back.

Dean let his mind wander as he waited for Sam to come back with a heart. It had been painful talking with Cas last night. Dean had asked how he was feeling, he'd said he was fine, but he'd seen his wings still weren't whole. Cas had asked him 'how are your kids?' Your kids. Cas knew Dean had two kids, but he didn't even have a clue. He thought that Dean had knocked someone up, begged her to keep them, then raised them by himself as a single dad, at least that's what Baby had told him. That was one of the only other times him and Dean had had a serious argument, Dean got so angry at him for that lie, he felt like it was as far from the truth as it could get. Last night wasn't worth leaving them alone, Cas hadn't seemed like he was remembering him. Dean sighed, smoothing Robbie's pitch hair again as he groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

Dean tried to let his mind wander to any things besides Cas, he thought about that parent-teacher conference he had to go to tonight. That was the kind of thing he absolutely dreaded, he rarely ever heard good news from their teachers. The two didn't make friends very easily, the other children were somewhat afraid of them. They wore strange charm necklaces, they talked about weird things, they didn't play the regular games most kids did. That paired with some strange occurances some of the children saw spread intense rumors, that they were cursed, that they were witches, Dean heard it all. Too agressive, to rough with the other children, never paying attention in class.

Dean remembered particularily when Robbie had gotten himself in big trouble with the school. They'd all sat down for reading time, the book that day was 'Little Red Riding Hood.' After reading the book, they'd had a class discussion. All the kids had obviously bashed the wolf, and Robbie got angry. "I thought the wolf was really clever, and Little Red was a big dummy. He deserved that meal if she was stupid enough to think a wolf was really her gramma, and they shouldn't have killed him. He was just hungry." At least, that's what the teacher had told him he'd said, saying it 'greatly disturbed her and the students'. Robbie was supposed to write an apology to the whole class and the teacher for his 'outburst'. Instead, Dean just pulled them from that godforsaken school. He'd never really liked the kids or the teachers there anyway.

It got harder and harder for him to focus on anything but Cas as Leo began to lightly trace his scars with his tiny, light finger, going over every ridge and feather seam, working his way down to his wing-slits and tracing Cas's handprint, Dean bit back tears as the tiny hand placed itself on top of the red scar.

"What are these from, dadda?" He asked quietly, hesitating. Dean wished he could tell them everything, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to them, not to someone so young. He thought that maybe he could tell them about Cas, but everytime he tried he just couldn't. He didn't think that they would understand.

"Don't worry about it, Lee." He replied, pulling Robbie closer as he started to whimper softly. Leo didn't press the issue farther, he wanted to be a good kid. He pulled himself to plop on top of Dean, asking something else. "Do they still hurt?" He asked quietly, sounding concerned. "No, buddy. Don't worry, not anymore."

"When you got them?"

Dean turned his head just slightly, he was met with those bright blue eyes, his soft cheeks splashed with freckles. His little lips were pulled into a frown, he was worried. He often was, about his dad and his brother. "Only a little." He answered, and Leo gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Good. I don't like it when you hurt." Dean felt another deep pang of sadness as Leo rolled playfully off of him, wriggling to tuck himself under the covers and sleep in.

"Night, dad. Or morning. Hee hee," he giggled and shut his eyes. Dean did the same, waiting for Sam to come back already. What was taking him so long?

He peeled his eyes open a few hours later, when he felt Sam's presence in the apartment. He sat up slowly, gently sliding Robbie off of his chest and smacking his lips, walking groggily out into the kitchen, stealing one quick little glance behind him to the boys. Good, both of them were napping. He knew that at his age, his dad had not hesitated to tell him all about the monsters that waited for him out in the dark. But with them... they were too young to tell them exactly what was happening. He felt bad when he thought about how much he constantly hid from them, but he was only trying to protect them. If they really knew everything...he didn't want to mess them up like that.

Leo knew that he wasn't supposed to skinwalk in public, and that not every kid did what he did. He didn't think he was the only one, however. From what Dean saw when he peeked in, he believed that what he did was probably around one in five hundred, and he just hadn't met someone like him yet. Robbie didn't understand why he got sick every month, but Dean had told him it had something to do with the moon. Robbie did know that he could turn into a wolf, but he thought that he was like Leo but with only one animal. He hadn't gone uncontrolled yet, and he still didn't know that what he was eating were hearts. Neither of them knew, and that was why it was tricky sometimes to keep it from them. At least it would be easier this time, both were asleep.

He gasped when he saw Sam there, he was leaning heavily on the counter, earthy brown feathers were blown everywhere, some of them stained with silvery blood. Dean rushed up to catch him just as he began to fall forward, gripping him by the shoulders and assessing the damage. He had several gashes on his arms and legs, and one on his chest and face. He was breathing raspily, clutching tightly to a brown paper bag.

"Jesus, Sam! What the hell happened?" He exclaimed, quickly pulling him to sit down in a chair. He collapsed into it, quickly working to heal his wounds as the red gashes shallowed and smoothed over. "Gatherers. They were headed this direction, me and Baby..." He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"It's okay. We took care of it. Here." He handed him the brown paper bag, which was a little bit battered from the fight. Dean took it and frowned. "You should have told me. I could have gotten it." Sam smiled slightly. "I would have, if I wasn't in the middle of fighting for my life. Oh, and yours." He said almost light-heartedly.

"Thanks for that, Sam." Dean said lightly, taking out the cutting board and plopping the heart out onto it. It was a small one this time, chicken, but if he used the whole thing it would probably be fine. "How many?"

"Fifteen." Sam replied simply. "Oh, god." Dean ran his hand down his face before crouching down and getting out a pot. He felt a pang of fear in his chest; they'd been getting more numerous lately, and he dreaded the day that they would finally catch up and take Leo to that awful place he'd only seen glimpses of when he'd caught pieces of his nightmares. Dean peeled open a can of chicken noodle soup and dumped it into the pot, clicking on the flames.

He always diced up the heart and gave it to Robbie in a chicken soup, calling it his "magic soup." Robbie never questioned it, and that way if he ever slipped up and talked about it in public, that when he got sick his dad made him magic chicken soup that made him feel better, he'd probably just get an 'aww' and a pinch on the cheek.

"How have you and Baby been lately?" Dean asked, meanwhile turning his attention back to the cutting board and sliding out a knife, beginning to dice up the heart. At first, doing this had made him feel disgusted, guilty, it felt unnatural. By now, it was almost second nature. He didn't really mind touching the object anymore, it just seemed like another piece of meat.

"We've been okay. We've been working in a group with four others, they're all really great. A solid group." He answered, he was about to say something else when he was interrupted with an extremely loud shriek. Both Sam and Dean whipped their heads to the source of the noise, Leo was standing at the doorway of his bedroom, fear shining brightly in his wide, blue eyes. He was clutching tightly at his stuffed animal tiger, his face was pale and he was breathing hard, his heart pounding.

"Leo?" Dean asked, setting the knife down and turning around, and right when he did the little kid dropped the toy and went sprinting away, breathing so hard it almost sounded like hyperventilation. He was sprinting toward the living room, and Dean knew exactly where he was headed. "Leo, wait!"

The little kid sprinted into the room, dropped on his hands and knees and crawled into the fireplace, he was making little whimpering gasps, as he curled his arms around his knees, pressing his back to the bricks at the back of the fireplace, trying to regulate his sharp breathing as the warm, cozy flames tickled his legs. He stared straight ahead as he saw Dean peering in through the orange-red flames.

"Leo, honey, come out." He coaxed him gently, and Leo pressed his lips together and shook his head from side to side. "I'm not stupid! I know what I saw, I saw a..a..." Dean went to try and reach in and pull him out, and he shied farther away. "No! Don't touch me!" He cried, shuffling his legs backwards and kicking embers into the air as he pressed to the sooty brick wall, tears slipping from his eyes which quickly fizzled and boiled away on his soft cheeks.

"It was a heart! You were cutting a heart!" He wailed, burying his face in his hands. He sobbed lightly, not wanting to climb out of the soothing flames as they licked over his legs and his chest, little tongues of flames feeling like they were smoothing down his skin, comforting him. "Please come out, Lee. I have to explain." There was a silence as Leo softly sobbed, hugging his knees tightly, the flames dancing in his eyes.

"I already know. I know that some fairy tales are real. And if RJ..." He hiccuped and pulled his knees tighter into his chest. "He's a werewolf, isn't he?" He asked quietly in a fearful voice, barely audible over the popping and crackling flames.

"Yes, Leoniel." Dean replied gently, he already knew too much to lie any further to him. Leo finally crawled out of the flames, continuing into his dad's waiting lap. Dean gripped him tightly into a hug, his skin felt unnaturally hot as his arms wrapped around his neck. This was exactly why he couldn't tell them everything, it was all too much for them to handle. He needed to protect them from these truths, from themselves.

"Is he going to be okay?" Leo asked in a tight voice, burying his head into his shoulder. Dean gripped his tiny back, he was filled with dread. He knew this day would eventually come, but he still wasn't ready. "Yes, Leo. He'll be okay." Dean rubbed his back as his breathing began to come in short bursts, the beginnings of sobs.

"But..he's not the bad guy, dad! I _know_ him, he isn't the bad guy!" Leo insisted, tears quickly spilling from his eyes. Dean tried to comfort him by gently rubbing his back again. Children always did see it like that, didn't they? The good guy, the bad guy. Black and white, no in-between. And if everyone said being a monster made them the bad guy, after they said it enough times the kids believed it wholeheartedly.

"Just because he is doesn't mean he's the bad guy." Dean tried to simplyfy it for him, he tried to make him understand. Leo didn't reply, he'd stopped crying and was now lying in Dean's arms completely silently.

"Don't be afraid of him, Leo. Nothing has changed." Dean spoke up, rubbing his back again. "It's only medicine, Lee. Just like Tylenol or Pepto Bismol." He hated that he needed to have this conversation with them, that the day would come when he'd have to tell Robbie himself. That would be a hundred times worse. He wished that he knew what to do, where to even start in curing them. Leo began to nod, pulling away. "Okay. Okay, dad. It's just mesidine." He said innocently, mixing up the word. Dean hugged him tightly, biting back tears. He hated this, the fear, the lies...he wished they could have been normal. It would have made their lives so much easier.

They went quiet as Sam called out to Robbie. "Robbie, come here. I have your magic soup ready." They heard his small footsteps patter into the kitchen and the scraping of the chair legs on the floor as he went to sit down.

Dean looked back to Leo, suddenly a very serious expression on his face. "Leo, sweetheart, listen to me. You can't tell him, understand? I have to be the one to do it." Leo pressed his lips together, and Dean hated that he was putting this heavy secret on this kid, but he couldn't let Robbie know. Not now, he was too young. Finally, the boy nodded, wiping his tears away, smearing the water with the back of his hand.

"It's all okay, Leo. I promise. Now, why don't you go and talk to your brother?" He said gently, as the small boy pulled off of his lap and wiped his tears away again, putting on a brave face as he cautiously walked from the room. Now by himself, Dean sighed and lay down with his back pressed to the floor, shutting his eyes and trying to breathe evenly.

_God dammit._ This was not how it was supposed to be raising kids, there weren't supposed to be such dark secrets and lies. Hell, he never in a million years thought he'd even meet a creature like them, much less have them as blood. He hoped Leo wouldn't tell him, even though there wasn't a single secret between the two boys.

He finally gathered himself and went to walk back to the kitchen, were Robbie was eating his soup happily, swinging his little legs that dangled from the chair, as Leo sat in Sam's lap adjacent to him, observing his brother curiously as Sam held him in a half-hug with one arm. Leo flinched barely noticeably as he noticed his brother eat a cubed piece of what he now knew was heart. Robbie smiled at him, looking bright-eyed and healthy once again.

"When I'm done, do you want to go to the lot and play?" He asked happily, bringing another spoonful to his lips. Leo still looked a little scared, but he nodded after just a second hesitation. "Okay. But I want to be a puppy this time." He agreed, finally smiling again. He loved to play with his brother when he was a puppy, they went out to the small lot the apartment owned and would run around in the grass and the trees and shrubs. Leo also knew this had to mean he wanted to tell him something important; it was their one little place that they could tell each other all kinds of secrets without the chance of their dad listening in. He wondered what in the world he had to tell him this time.

Robbie happily scooped another spoonful of his magic soup to his lips, almost ready to bounce from his seat and go and tell Leo the news. He knew what their mom's name was now, and that was the start of something at least. Maybe if they asked enough their dad could finally tell them about her. He smiled at Leo, he couldn't wait to tell him, he was so excited. He felt like a detective unearthing clues on an important mission.


	22. The Breaking Point

Dean watched the two little boys from the balcony of the apartment, leaning his chest over the rails and watching as the two ran around, racing and making sharp turns, the small yellow puppy always seeming to catch up and pounce at the little dark-haired boy's heels, finally he tripped and tumbled and the dog jumped onto his chest, switching in the blink of an eye to be a little blonde boy. He took another swig of beer as they wrestled, he heard a rustling of feathers and sensed that Baby had appeared behind him.

The man slowly walked up and joined him to lean over the balcony, watching the two of them as well. There was a short silence as Baby felt the wind comb through his hair and he sighed, he was tired from fighting off those Gatherers and then healing himself, there had been more damage to his vessel this time than most.

"We're going on six years, aren't we?" Dean asked him quietly, and the sound of the two kids laughing floated up briefly and filled the silence as they both looked on, Dean not turning to his long time friend as he kept his eyes on his sons.

"In a month, I believe." He answered, resting on his elbows that stuck out over the rails, knitting his hands together. It was such a bright, beautiful morning, completely the opposite of the mood Dean was feeling. He was trying hard not to effect the weather, he didn't want his sad day to ruin their play.

"Dean, I'm sorry that I told you to visit with him last night. That was the wrong choice, and I'm so sorry." He spoke up, lowering his head to his arms, a bit of his black hair slipping and falling in his face as he hung his head. "I really thought seeing you might help. And now that I have the chance to have nephews...I want them to be as happy as possible. I want _you_ to be happy."

Dean sighed and blinked slowly, answering softly as he opened his eyes again. "It's okay." He took another swig from his beer, not really wanting to say anything else. He lowered his eyes to see the boys had picked themselves up and were dusting off, heading to sit under some of the trees, out of view.

"Within the next three years, I promise. He's reaching the mark, Dean, he's only about five years before he met you." Baby tried to encourage him, and Dean looked over and saw his steely eyes were alight. "He's been doing even better lately, I promise. He told me that your visit made him happy, but he didn't know why." Dean lowered his eyes and smiled somewhat, it was those tiny little remarks that made him feel happy again.

His smiled disappeared when he remembered what he wanted to tell Baby. He sighed and felt a warm summer breeze play across his face. "Leo found out about Robbie today." He announced solemnly, closing his eyes. He saw that frightened face in his mind's eye again, when he'd sprinted away, peering out at him with terror in his eyes as he distanced himself behind a small wall of flames. Baby didn't reply, and Dean spoke up what had been at the back of his mind, gnawing away at his thoughts.

"What...Baby, what will he think when he meets them?" He asked in a tight voice, lowering his eyes to the small green square lot below instinctively, but they kids were nowhere in sight. "They have so many problems, it's even hard for me to accept even when I've had them grow up with me. They're so different, what if..." He bit back his next words and extended his neck, looking up to the sky and trying to keep tears from coming to his eyes. They were so different than regular kids, he didn't know what Cas would even think. No one but him ever dealt with Robbie during a full moon, and he didn't want to burden Cas with it when he came back. What if he felt overwhelmed? What if he was afraid of them?

"They're just kids, Dean." Baby replied to his last thought. "He won't be afraid of them. He's going to love them instantly, I promise. He loved them before he even got the chance to meet them." He slung his arm over his shoulder as Dean took another sip of beer. "Three years, you said?"

"Less. I promise." Dean did the math; at most, they'd meet him when they were eight. _That's not too bad. _A little voice tried to console him. He had realized something a few months ago; they wouldn't wind up calling him dad because they had already passed that point were they were young enough to assimilate a brand new parent, especially because they already had one. For once, he was glad the teenagers had kept this from him. He wouldn't have wanted to hear just then how long the absence Cas had predicted he'd need would be.

Meanwhile, the two little boys were crouched under their tree in the apartment lot, their young faces dappled with the light that was coming through the leaves. Both were panting slightly as they plopped down, tired from the roughhousing they'd been doing a minute ago. Robbie looked up to his brother with his eyes alight as he sat down next to him.

"Guess what I found out yesterday, Lee?" He started off, ripping some blades of grass out and twisting them in his small fingers. Leo looked up at him skeptically, pursing his lips. "What do you mean? Nothing happened yesterday."

Robbie shook his head, grinning and feeling powerful with the new information he had. "No, I went and time traveled back. Guess what, I saw us when we were babies." Leo laughed and pushed him gently by the shoulders. "You're lying," He knew that Robbie was a big joker.

"No, for real! And guess what? I found out what mom's name is!" He burst to say, loving it when he saw his brother's expression light up. "Really?" He asked excitedly, starting to bounce his knees as he sat criss-cross. "What is it?"

"He asked me who was coming to get me and he asked if Cas was." He said, he liked the way that name rolled from his mouth, hissing in between his teeth. "Then I asked Uncle Sammy, and he said it was someone who meant a lot to dad and that they saved our lives." He suddenly got sad, he brought his eyebrows down as realization hit his young mind. He blinked up and was met with those familiar curious blue eyes, as if Leo was prompting him to say more.

"Lee, do you think...what if that means she died to save us?" He suddenly found himself saying his thoughts, and they suddenly seemed very credible, like that was the only way. Leo brought his eyebrows together, thinking.

"If she's in heaven, then I know she could come back. Uncle Sol and Uncle Sammy go there and come back all the time!" He said optimistically, ripping out a dandelion that was close by and twirling the stem in his fingers. Suddenly, Robbie felt himself getting angry. It all made sense to him, he thought he'd pieced everything together. He stood up, gripping his small hands into fists.

"She's not coming back. Why do you think dad never said anything to us? She's dead." He said, suddenly feeling anger flaring up easily in his chest like it did when he had a tantrum. Leo scrambled to stand up, he looked confused. "Maybe he didn't tell us because...well..." He knitted his eyebrows together. "I don't know. But if she loves us, then I know that she would come back." He said happily, blowing on the circular tuft of the weed. Robbie suddenly got even more angry when he heard his brother say this.

"That means that she probably doesn't love us!" He felt tears spring to his eyes when he tried to jump to conclusions, his childish mind not ready to make those kind of judgements. Why would she leave them? Why would dad never talk about it? "It's because I get sick all the time, I bet!" He suddenly found himself yelling, he felt stupid for being so dumb before, for not realizing. Leo looked at him like he'd realized something, and Robbie felt even more confused when he detected a shade of fear in those clear blue pools. "What?" He asked, digging his heels into the ground.

"I...nothing." Leo said, quickly adverting his eyes. He felt like he couldn't help but feel scared of his brother now, even though he knew he shouldn't be. His dad had told him everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't help but imagine scary wolves like in Little Red Riding Hood and the Boy Who Cried Wolf when he closed his eyes. He had to keep the secret, dad told him it was important.

"I'm going back upstairs. I don't feel good." Robbie said angrily, brushing the blades of grass off of his knees and striding back to go through the lobby and back to their apartment. He felt like it was all his fault that their mom wasn't coming back, and that as long as he kept getting sick he thought she wasn't going to come back. "RJ, wait!" Leo called, stumbling to catch up with him. He reached to hold his hand, and Robbie angrily shoved him away. Leo quickly melted to his puppy form and bobbed at his heels, wondering why he'd gotten so upset all of the sudden.

When they finally reached the apartment, it was Baby who finally opened the door for them. "Uncle Sol!" Leo cried out happily, running and throwing his arms around his legs. "Hey, buddy." He said happily, ruffling his hair. "How you feeling, Robbie?" He asked, and the little kid averted his gaze. Baby looked confused as the boy brushed past, frowning deeply. He often wasn't in the best mood after a sick night.

The day went by easily, but Dean couldn't help but notice that Leo and Robbie were keeping a bit of a distance between each other.

...

The next few weeks passed by easily, it was almost as if Robbie hadn't traveled back or Leo hadn't learned about the hearts. Dean did find out that Robbie had told Leo that he'd heard the name Cas, he found out when one day Leo handed him another family portrait, this time the teacher had helped him to label the drawing. Wobbly circles and sticks were supposed to be Dean, Sam, Baby and Robbie, he'd drawn a few huge red flowers and himself as a yellow blob with a stick for a tail. "My dog, Robert, Dad, my Uncles" labeled the people, written in crisp, perfect cursive in the teacher's red pen, contrasting with the wiggly, waxy lines from an inexperienced hand. He'd loved the picture at first, until he saw something else Leo had drawn.

It was a stick figure with a circle for the body like the rest, but he'd drawn long hair on it, and it was in the top corner of the page, sitting on a crudely drawn cloud. "Kass" the red pen had looped in beautiful handwriting, as if it were mocking him. His face had dropped, his hand had trembled. "Do you like it?" Leo asked, tugging on the hem of his shirt. "It's pretty, Leo baby. Thank you." He replied in a hollow voice, setting it face-down on the kitchen counter. He tore it up that night, piece by piece feeding it into the fire, unemotionally watching as the bits curled and disappeared into the flames.

It had been just a regular day of kindergarden for them, Dean dropping them off at nine am, making them take their lunches, they'd sometimes wouldn't eat them because they'd wanted to sneak their one needed meal for dinner, and schools would think he was starving them. "Eat your lunches today, okay? Bye, I love you!" He called from the car as they walked up the stairs to class, waving him goodbye. "Be good!" He called again, little did he know that this was not going to be the case at all that day.

Classes were mostly all free time now, as summer vacation would begin in just a few days. Leo was sitting at a desk, drawing, as Robbie played with a truck on the wooden surface.

"I wonder if I could give this to mommy when she comes back." Leo said and then kept humming to himself, pressing with a tight grip on his crayon, running the wax into dark lines as he brought the black crayon up and down, dragging it across the page. It was an orange, wobbly circle, and he was drawing vertical black stripes. "I could tell her it's me so that she wouldn't be scared. It's a tiger, see?" He held it up so that Robbie could see his drawing.

Robbie felt anger flare up in his chest when Leo brought it up again for what seemed like the millionth time in a row, even when he knew it upset him. "Mom's not coming back, Leo! She's dead!" He said angrily, grabbing the drawing from Leo and without thinking he tore it in half. Leo looked hurt, his eyes shining with the beginnings of tears.

"Why did you do that?" He asked in a hurt voice, tears sparkling as he looked at the two halves of his picture. "And mom _is_ coming back! She loves us, and she's going to come back!" He insisted, pink flushing into his face as he got angry.

"Why do you even care? You already have dad, he loves you more than me! Do you just want _more_ attention?" He yelled, crumpling up the paper in his little hands. Leo roughly stood up from the little plastic chair and stomped up to his brother.

"Nuh-uh! He loves _you_ more, that's why he always gives you so much attention, he cuddles you every single month!" Leo yelled back, the first time admitting that the extra time Robbie spent with his dad made him a little jealous.

"That's because I'm sick! You don't want that to happen to you, Leoniel! He loves you because you're not the problem child!" He yelled back, reaching out and roughly shoving the little kid by the shoulders, hard.

"He always tells you more than me!" Leo shot back, the beginnings of tears beginning to show in his voice, as he collected himself and shoved back. "He told you mom's name, not me!" By now, the teacher had caught sight of their little tussle and was heading their way.

"That's because he wants to protect you! He doesn't give a damn if I get messed up, does he? He just wants his little _L__eo baby_ to be fine!" He shoved his brother again, this time Leo tipped over at the rough push and fell to the ground.

"Hey, break this up right now! Robert, you're going in time-out for swearing!" She said authoritatively, going and trying to get in between the brothers. Leo narrowed his eyes dangerously, sitting up and climbing to stand. The teacher's eyes widened when the ground began to shake and there was a low rumbling sound.

"Earthquake! Everyone, under your desks right now!" She yelled out, and all the kids dropped what they were doing and scrambled to get under the plastic desks, all the kids except for Leo and Robbie. Leo was the one causing the rumbling, the shutters now began to swing open and shut rapidly.

"He told me something you don't know! Do you want to know what's in that stupid magic soup you eat? _Hearts_." He said angrily, his tiny hands balled into tight fists as a sudden wind began to comb through his honey-blonde hair. "You're a _werewolf_, Robbie!" He screamed at him, and a few windows split to burst. The teacher's as well as a few student's screams pierced the air as the broken glass cascaded into the classroom.

"_No, I'm not_!" Robbie screamed back, rushing up and shoving his brother again, he went slamming into the ground. Leo frowned angrily, and suddenly a roar ripped through his throat as a Bengal tiger had sprung up and tackled the dark-haired boy, launching him to the ground. The teacher had caught a glimpse of what was happening and screamed, almost fainting as she observed Robbie quickly retaliate and rip into the shape of a young grey wolf, shoving back against the tiger as they both went rolling, the wolf's jaws snapping as the tiger began to rake his claws over the furry grey body.

"_STOP!_"An unfamiliar, adult male voice boomed, and this time the teacher really did faint as a man suddenly materialized into thin air. The rumbling cut off quickly, and all the noise died down as he wrapped them both up invisibly. Robbie melted back to his human shape, he was lying on his side and sobbing, cradling his chest and cheek which had deep red gashes in three lines, claw marks. Leo tumbled away and when he stopped rolling he'd returned to his human shape as well, he was completely silent as he hugged his chest, a few deep bite marks on his shoulders and upper arms. Baby rushed around the room quicker than the eye could see as he touched each child's forehead with two fingers, erasing their last few minutes of memory.

He strode up to the two boys who hadn't moved, grabbing Robbie roughly by the upper arm and pulling him to stand up, jerking him to follow him as he grabbed Leo. "He started it! He ripped my picture!" Leo insisted, tears streaming from his eyes as Baby roughly pulled him to stand. "You liar! You stupid liar, Leoniel! I'm not a werewolf!" He screamed at him, and Baby shushed both of them angrily. "Shut up now, both of you!" He growled at them, finally launching them back to the apartment.

The two avoided each other's gaze, both rubbing their faces as tears streamed out. "Don't say anything. Don't even look at each other. Your dad's coming back soon, and he is _not_ going to be happy about this." Baby growled at them, he'd already sent out the message for Dean to come straight home. He put his hands on both of their shoulders, quickly healing the bad damage they'd done to each other.

Before anyone had a chance to say anything else, Dean was already in the room, he was in his light blue mechanic jumper with the name tag, he was covered in grease. "What the hell happened?" He said angrily, and he was quickly able to see all three of their memories at the incident. "Why would you do that, god dammit!" He yelled, griping his head on the sides. _Get them out of here, Dean. I'll pack things up and follow, but right now we need to leave._ Baby told him, clearly trying to stay calm, but he knew this was an emergency. If anyone got a whiff of their activity; hunters, demons, Gatherers, you name it, they could be in for some big trouble.

Suddenly, they were in the Impala, Dean was starting up the engine, the two boys in the backseat. "Mom's coming back! I know she is!" Leo insisted, rubbing his eyes with his fists. "No she's not, you stupid idiot! She doesn't love either of us enough to come back, or she'd be here already!" Robbie replied bitterly, balling his hands into fists. Dean squealed out of the parking garage, and he hated that so much anger at his sons was building in his chest.

"You can _never_ go back to that school, understand? _Never_!" He bellowed at them, his voice was scarily angry. The two boys instantly shut their mouths, they had rarely ever seen their dad so mad about something before.

"Why do you do this to me? Why are you like this?" He yelled furiously, scolding them but sounding more like he was saying his inner thoughts. "Tell me what the hell you two were even fighting about, it better be worth it. Do you understand we have to move? You will never see anyone of your friend's faces ever again!"

Leo burst out crying, turning to hide his face in the leather of the car's seat. Robbie narrowed his eyes and was the only one who replied. "We were talking about mom, how she's never ever coming back because she's _dead!_" Robbie said angrily, a tear dripping from his eye as he balled his tiny hands into fists. Dean had to pull over, he hadn't even noticed when Sam had dropped into the passenger's seat as he turned fully around to yell at them.

"_You don't have a mother!" _He yelled furiously, and before he knew it the truth, the whole truth, was tumbling from his lips. "You have another father in heaven, and you're the only reason he's not with me right now! His name is Cas, and he did everything for you! He was the one who sacrificed everything he had to bring you two into this world! When I found out what you were, _monsters, _he was the one who persuaded me to keep you, when I wanted to get rid of you!_ You will never disgrace him again by saying that you have a mother_!"

The two looked up suddenly at him, the green and blue eyes wide with shock and sadness. "You...you wanted to kill us?" Leo asked in a watery voice, tears slipping down his face. Dean suddenly realized that he'd done exactly the thing he hadn't wanted to do, he remebered when Robbie had told him such a long time ago that he'd said he'd wanted to kill them when he found out what they were. _Why the fuck would you say that to me, dad? I was six._ Robbie had explained, tears streaming through his sad, light green eyes. _Oh, no. What have I done? _He stopped in his tracks, shocked that he'd really said all of that. What kind of shit father would do that? He felt all his anger quickly disappear as he held his face in his hands in shame.

"Jesus, Dean!" Sam angrily scolded him, he'd teleported quickly into the back seat and both of the boys were now tightly gripping onto him. He was glaring angrily at him, holding both of their small backs securely. "Dean, they're only five years old! They're only children!" He scolded his brother angrily. After all that time trying to protect them, he'd tear everything down in a matter of seconds?

"I can't do this shit anymore, Sam. I can't live without him." Dean found himself saying, the words just falling from his lips, hiding his face in his hands. "I can't deal with this, I pretend I know what I'm doing but I don't! I can't keep doing this by myself!"

Robbie suddenly lifted his head from Sam's clothes, staring his dad directly in the eye. "Leo said that I was a werewolf!" He sobbed, pink anger flushing his cheeks. "He's a stupid liar and I hate him!" He spat, gripping tightly onto the fabric of Sam's shirt.

"Robbie..." Dean replied, and he hated that he had to tell him now, when he was so shaken up. Robbie froze, pure shock painted on his face. He didn't like the way he said his name just now. He wanted him to scold Leo and tell him everything was okay, but he felt like he always knew. Robbie wanted to speak up and ask _It's true, isn't it?_ but his throat was blocked by a huge lump, and shock had stopped all his tears.

"Robbie, I don't want to lie to you anymore." He started, and Robbie felt his chest bump uncomfortably with a sob. He didn't want him to say it aloud. "You are a werewolf. At least part-" He couldn't finish his thought as Robbie suddenly heard everything like it was underwater, he struggled to breathe through his already thick spit and black danced in his vision as he dropped into a faint, his head lolling onto Sam, his face pale as a sheet. The car got very quiet as Sam gripped tightly to him, and Dean scrambled to climb partway over the seat, feeling for a pulse with concern pouring from his eyes.

"Like father, like son, huh Dean?" Sam asked gently, readjusting his arm to securely hold Leo, who was completely silent now and peeping out with scared eyes. Dean shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He'd fainted when he found out he was part angel, and that wasn't even a bad creature. But for a six year old who was just told by his dad that he was one of the scary monsters everyone was supposed to be afraid of? No wonder that had been his reaction. "He's too young. He's way too young, Sam. We should get Baby to erase it, it just shouldn't be now." He voiced in concern, once again wondering how things would have been different if they were normal.

"He's going to find out sooner or later. Do you really want this to keep hanging over your head? I think it will be easier if he grows up with this, trust me. If you wait, it's only going to get worse." He replied, gently pushing the black hair from his forehead. Dean was overwhelmed with protective feelings as he stared at the wan face, reaching back and taking the child from under the armpits and lifting the heavy weight to rest on his lap.

"This is so difficult, Sam." He voiced, barely above a whisper as he slid over to be in the passenger's seat, lifting Robbie to rest chest-to-chest on him, making sure he was breathing okay.

"I know. Still, you've been so good with them." He replied quietly, rubbing Leo's tiny shoulder reassuringly as the frightened child pressed back into the leather seat and into his uncle's side. The kid was trying hard not to cry even though he was just as scared as his twin was.

"It's going to be okay, Leo. He's going to be fine." He said gently to the scared little boy, who rubbed his eyes and nodded continuously, keeping silent. Dean rubbed Robbie's back in small circles, even though the kid was out like a light and wouldn't be able to feel it. "I'm sorry I yelled, bug. I didn't mean any of it."

Leo pulled his balled fists away from his face, and Dean was met with those shockingly blue eyes again, he felt a little jolt run down his spine. Even though he'd looked into these eyes almost every single day since they'd been born, sometimes he was just hit with realization at the similarity. If he took away the blonde hair and the freckles...it was as if Cas was really there, looking at him with the same exact eyes.

"I know. I know you get sad sometimes. That's ok." Leo replied shyly, and Dean felt a tug in his heart. He tried to fight it off most of the time, but sometimes he just needed a day to let it take him over before he could keep going on. Leo was always so good too, when he noticed he was sad he'd behave, well, angelically. "I got sad when RJ ripped my drawing, and when my fishy died. I yelled too." He replied innocently, looking down and wringing his hands.

Dean looked at him, studying his little mannerisms, contemplating his whole personality and little things he did. "I love you, Leo. Nothing will ever, ever, _ever _change that."

Leo smiled and hugged Sam's side tightly, burying his tiny freckled nose into the plaid. "I love you too, dad. And Uncle Sammy and Uncle Sol and RJ and Cas and ice cream and chocolate and my tiger and puppy and snuggles and this car and...that's about it." Sam guffawed and rubbed his shoulder in approval. "That's a pretty good list you got going there, bud."

Dean smiled and turned his attention back to Robbie, who was breathing slowly in and out, just a little color returning to his white face. The car bobbed a second later as things dropped into the trunk, and Baby was suddenly in the driver's seat along with a whoosh of air, quickly igniting the engine again, which started up with a low rumble.

"You told him, didn't you?" He asked quietly as he nodded at Dean with Robbie. Dean looked down at the little body that was now resting, lying down on his lap, his head lolling slightly as the car pulled back onto the road, and he remembered when he'd held Cas the same way years and years ago, when he'd first found out about the babies. It had been so hard then to picture them as real, lovable people and not killers. Now, he would rather die than let something bad happen to them.

"Took the news just like I did." Dean replied, almost with a tiny smile as he slid a piece of hair from his small, round face with his thumb. "I don't think we should erase it. But I think we should switch up the bedtime stories."

Baby nodded and drummed his fingers along the steering wheel, he seemed agitated. He spoke up a second later, avoiding Dean's glance as he stared straight ahead at the road. "I'm sorry, Dean. God, am I sorry." He closed his eyes for half a second, breathing in deeply. "I feel like a lot of this is my fault. If I had only gotten Cas out of the Jeweler's ward earlier, if I had tired just a little harder for the cure..."

"You did so damn much, Bay. You were amazing. It's not anyone's fault really, just...just something that's hard that's going to keep getting harder." He closed his eyes and rested his hand on Robbie's back, leaning his head back to rest on the seat. _Come back soon, Cas._

...

Robbie had slowly started to surface from unconsciousness as he was being carried out of the car and into the hotel room for that night. He slowly folded open his eyes, feeling like his body was now his own enemy as he felt fear and feelings of filth creep into his chest. Dean noticed he was awake, and gently rubbed his back as he carried him. "Hi, Bobby. Are you feeling better?"

Robbie lowered his eyes and hugged him tightly. "A little." Dean kissed him quickly on the forehead and set him down on one of the beds. "If you need me, I'm going to be right through this door, okay? Uncle Sol's going to stay in here with you." Robbie nodded, staring straight ahead as his dad pushed his hair back from his forehead slowly, before heading off to bed in his room with a tired look in his eye.

"He's not angry at either of you. He's just tired." Baby explained to the two of them, sitting on the edge of one of the beds. Leo went and crawled up next to him, Baby lifted his eyes to look at Robbie. "Come here, babe. I have something for both of you."

Robbie pulled himself onto the bed with a hop, for once not distancing himself from a hug or cuddle. Baby held them both closely on either side as he looked from one face to the other. "Robbie, do you remember when you time traveled back? Remember your dad said he visited heaven?" Robbie nodded, looking over at Leo curiously, who wordlessly lifted his eyebrows up, he didn't know what he had for them either. "Uh-huh." Robbie said, narrowing his eyebrows and pursing his lips, looking into his Uncle's face.

"He went to visit Cas. And just a few days ago I told him that he had kids, but he said he wasn't ready to meet you yet. But he wanted to give you both this." He began to reach into an interior pocket of his black leather jacket, but Leo stopped him this time.

"Why isn't he ready? Why did you have to tell him?" Leo whispered in a sad, high-pitched voice, frowning. He just didn't understand, and his confusion was frustrating him. Baby thought back around two weeks ago, when Dean had finally visited him again. After he left, Cas seemed to stare off into space, a look on his face like he was struggling to think.

"I remember his name. Dean Winchester, it is my assignment to rescue him from hell. I know his name, but...still not his face." He slowly closed his eyes, a sad look on his face. "I didn't match that he was the one praying to me until now. I thought that the person had the wrong angel the whole time." Baby came up and sat next to him, just a tiny bit of his leg pressed to his.

"He...all the prayers, Sol, all of them were about kids. But if he was the one who decided to keep them, why does he tell _me_?" Tears began to spring to his eyes, he twisted his hands in his lap. "He looks at me in a strange way, I've noticed every time he's visited. Like he...I don't know. I don't understand it." Baby let in a deep breath, letting the air fill him up and leave with a large push. He remembered his name now, that meant it couldn't have been more than twenty years from the present. He was piecing it all together too; it would have been better for him to tell him, and not have him believe something that his fragments of memory might have shown.

"That's because, Cas...they're yours." He forced himself to say, hating the absolutely shocked and almost frightened look in his eyes as he whipped his head to look at him, that misty-eyed expression burning away quickly as his eyebrows brought together in hurt confusion. "But...the other story, you told me-" He quickly brought his hands up to his face and sunk into his palms, his back curving as he leaned into them, his dark wings that sprouted from them still weren't whole, they were still short on the very bottoms.

"Everything I told you in that story was a lie. I didn't want to tell you until you remembered fully. I'm sorry." Baby's heart squeezed when he looked at his lost expression, he was glad that he didn't have to tell him earlier, his somewhat-knowledge had softened the news, he didn't know what would have happened if he'd told him right off the bat.

"He's my Other?" He asked quietly, almost like a little kid would as he peeped out with just one blue eye from his palms. A tear sparkled in it and dripped out easily as he blinked. Baby didn't respond, and he could tell Cas knew that the answer was yes. He closed his eyes and breathed out, trying to wrap his mind around what was being told to him.

"I can't go back, Sol. I just can't, I need to remember first. I want to go back when...when I love him again." He decided, sighing shakily. "I don't want to mess things up, well, any more than I already have." He leaned back and pressed his cheek to Baby's shoulder, keeping his eyes closed. Baby wrapped his arm around his shoulder and rubbed it reassuringly. "You didn't mess things up. And it's okay if you want to remember first."

"I'm going to try as hard as I can, I think I can do it in a short time if I try." He finally smiled slightly, lifting his cheek off of his shoulder. "Tell me about them, please. I want to know some things now, and I hope I'll know everything soon." He finally was smiling, wiping away his tears. Baby was glad that he was actually happy for a change. "They're two boys, twins, Robbie and Leo. Well, Robert and Leoniel."

Cas actually laughed wetly through his tears, Baby couldn't remember him laughing in a long time. "That's...Sol, that's the name I've wanted for years and years." He hid his face in his hands, he believed that it was completely real now. He knew that if he tried, he could remember everything soon. That way when he came back, everything would be perfect. "What are they like? How old are they?" He asked, his eyes alight as he held his hand to his chest, a huge smile stretched on his face. He would see them soon, he was sure of it.

"They're almost six. And pretty damn amazing," Baby said happily, picturing their little faces in his mind. His little nephews, finally, and he loved them so much.

"I...is it okay if you give them something from me?" He asked timidly. "I don't want to return now and be the father who doesn't remember them. But if I give them something... maybe it can make them happy, until I come back." He explained, averting his eyes. Baby felt like his heart was melting as he looked into his hopeful face. "Of course, Cas."

Baby reached into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a carefully folded, deep blue tie, answering Leo's question gently. "It's a long story, Leoniel. You'll learn one day, but for now...he wanted you to have this. Both of you, to keep with you if you ever miss him. He promised me that he'll come back soon, and he's not the type to break promises. Here," He unfolded it delicately, then stood up and pressed it to both of their chests, as they reached up and held it with slightly confused expressions. Leo broke into a big smile. "When he comes back, he can take it back. I promise we'll take good care of it, right RJ?"

"Yeah!" He agreed, stroking the soft, silky material. This mysterious man he'd only heard about suddenly became so much more real. He'd actually worn this, it had touched him and been around his neck! Robbie bounced off the bed, letting Leo hold the tie for now.

"I'm not tired. Can we build a fort? Dad always let us build a fort whenever we stay at hotels!" Robbie asked Baby, who rubbed his head and grinned. "Go right ahead, bud. I'm going to go check on your dad really quick, okay? But I want to see the biggest, coolest fort ever when I come back, okay? No lousy forts, that's your job." Baby said playfully, as the two nodded and took their 'job' very seriously as they began stripping the bed for its sheets instantly.

...

Robbie clicked on the flashlight as his irises squeezed to adjust to the sudden change in the light. He instantly took in the small fort he was in, the white sheets draping overhead, low-hanging, like they were protecting him in their cosy shelter, in between the two beds with pillows shoved all around them, just to make sure the monsters under the bed would be held away. Just the lowest part of the sheet was resting on top of Leo's blonde head of hair as he looked down and ran his small fingers over the dark blue tie that was straightened in between both of their bare feet, which were peeping out from pajama flannels. He avoided his brother's eye as he brought his fists up and rested his slightly chubby cheeks on them, looking sad as he stared straight down.

"I guess I really am a werewolf, then, huh?" Robbie said quietly, wanting to just talk about everything finally with his brother, bringing his knees up and hugging them. Leo said nothing as he stared at the tie, a bright sadness shining in his young eyes. "I'm sorry I ripped your drawing." Robbie whispered, looking off to the side and staring at a draping sheet, just looking at the folds and the way the yellow flashlight light illuminated it. He was too scared to look at Leo, to see his reaction.

"It's okay." Leo whispered back sadly, sniffling. "Sorry that I scratched you." He stroked the tie again, it was soft and worn. He was trying to imagine what his other dad in heaven could possibly be like.

"Sorry that I bit you a lot." Robbie replied again, hugging his knees closer. He suddenly felt strange in his body, like he didn't like it very much anymore. He felt a tiny bought of fear rise into his chest again, echoes from when he'd first found out. What was going to happen to him? Was he the bad guy?

"I'm sorry that I told you!" Leo choked up, tears rolling from his eyes as he tried to wipe them away. Robbie leaned forward and pulled him into a hug, and was a little happy when he didn't feel his brother tense up or pull away in fear. "It's okay." He whispered and tried to comfort him, getting a sour feeling in his stomach. When he talked about it, he still almost felt like he was talking about someone else, he still almost couldn't believe what both his dad and his brother had told him.

"Are you okay?" Leo sniffled, crawling forward into his brother's lap and fitting himself next to him, wiping his tears off on the green plaid flannel he wore.

"I think so." Robbie replied cautiously, half-paying attention as he rubbed down his soft blonde hairs. "I...I don't remember when I got bit." He spoke up, feeling his voice shake along with his chest. "Me neither. Maybe it was when we were really little." Leo added, using Robbie's pajamas to wipe his tears away again.

"But I don't have a scar. And I don't turn during the moon." He said quietly, feeling afraid of himself all of the sudden. What if he did, and he just didn't remember?

"I don't know, RJ. I'm kind of scared." He admitted, burying his face into one side of his chest. "I'm never, ever, ever going to hurt you. I promise." Robbie quickly tried to hide it when a tear slipped from his eye. He didn't know it then, but it was now that he was forced to age mentally, far surpassing the ignorant bliss that most six-year-olds enjoyed, when his role as older brother was crystallized.

"No, RJ. I'm not scared of you, I'm worried if you're going to be okay!" Leo assured him, almost looking angry that Robbie would think he was scared of him. Robbie reached forward and pulled the tie off the ground, rubbing the soft material to his face before untying it and winding it around both him and Leo's shoulders. "I know, Lee. Me too." He said shakily, but he didn't want to start crying and make Leo know he wasn't as okay with it as he seemed. Leo noticed the tie and rubbed the material in between two fingers, a perplexed look on his face as he tried to picture this mysterious Cas again.

"I wish he would come back soon." Leo said quietly, rubbing the silky material on his face. "Maybe he would know what to do."

"Uh-huh." Robbie answered, and he felt a little tired all the suddenly. It was really late, and now that he and Leo had talked it out he was feeling like maybe he would be able to get some sleep and not lay awake all night. "I hope he could be here for our birthday." He said sadly, the event was just a week away and now that he knew about him, he wished that he could have both parents there. Maybe if he wasn't he could use that as his candle-wish. It would probably work twice as fast because no doubt Leo would wish for the same exact thing.

"Can we go to sleep now?" Robbie asked, yawning. Leo quickly crawled from his chest and rolled into one of the piles of pillows, burying his face into them. "I like our fort." He said happily, pulling himself under the blanket they had been sitting on, the untied tie came with it and made a horizontal line over their backs . Robbie lay down too, pushing his bare feet under the thick blanket, hoping that he would feel better in the morning. "RJ?" Leo whispered quietly, turning to look at him instead of the wall of pillows. Robbie closed his eyes, he didn't want to turn off the warm, yellow light from the flashlight, he wanted a nightlight tonight. "Hm?" He asked, pulling the blanket to be under his chin.

"I don't care that you're a werewolf. You're still my brother and I'll always be your best friend." He said happily, grinning at him before turning away again. Robbie finally felt a little happy since he'd been told the truth, maybe it wasn't going to be so bad. He didn't _feel_ any different, he was just Robbie, same as always.

"Night, RJ." He whispered, pulling the blanket farther to cover his shoulders. "Night." He whispered back in reply, trying to go to sleep quickly this time. He didn't want to think about what had happened today anymore, he just wanted a few hours to forget it all.

Suddenly, the little boys heard someone moving outside of their fort and the sheets moved ever so slightly when the air brushed by. Robbie tried to quickly reach the flashlight and click it off, but he wasn't fast enough with the blanket holding him down. Dean lifted the sheet, peering in with tired eyes, no doubt going to tell them that it was bedtime.

"Time for b-" He started, but his expression fell into one that Robbie and Leo had never seen on him before, a mixture between shock and hurt, it looked like pure heartache. "Where did you get that." He demanded in a low, threatening voice. Both of the kids looked up with shocked eyes, like criminals who had been caught red-handed. Wordlessly, Dean ripped the tie off of them and went striding out of the room, the two boys scrambling to run after him.

He felt like he was blinded by the bitter, deep, ripping _hurt_. He had been waiting for so long, and he felt so torn up inside that he wasn't quite sure _why_ but he couldn't stand to look at his little boys with that beautiful, blue silk tie of the man they almost killed.

"Dad, no! Uncle Sol gave that to me n' RJ, he said it was for us!" Leo insisted, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Dean had no reaction as he kept stalking forward angrily. Robbie gasped when he saw where he was headed, straight to the fireplace. "Dad, please!" He begged, somehow knowing exactly what he intended to do as he tried to grab an end of the tie, only to be shoved roughly backwards. He stumbled backwards, frozen in shock as tears came to his eyes. He'd never been pushed like that by his dad, ever. Dean angrily threw it into the waiting orange flames, spinning on his heels as the silky texture burst to ignite right when it hit the log.

"No!" Leo wailed, surging forward and stumbling into the flames, trying to salvage the tie as it burnt into ashes in his fingers. He sunk into the fireplace, crying and whimpering quietly as he cradled the ashes close to his chest, letting the warm, comforting flames lick over his body, as Robbie wordlessly joined him, tear tracks staining his cheeks as he curled up in the glowing ashes next to his brother, holding a bit of the fabric just as it was burning close to his chest. They kept quiet as they heard their dad and their uncle arguing loudly in the other room, as Leo lifted his blue eyes, now flickering with the orange flames, and looked sadly into Robbie's eyes.

"It's going to be okay, Lee. I promise, everything's going to be okay." Robbie whispered, it was barely heard over the crackle of the wood and the sizzle of the flames. He came closer, shifting the gray and black ash like sand as sparks went flying, Leo threw an arm over his back, trying to comfort mostly himself as his tears steamed and boiled away on his face.

"I had to give them _something_, Dean! What you're doing to them, it's not healthy!" Robbie heard his uncle's distinct, rumbling voice yell from the other room, but it was muffled greatly and distorted through the wall. He heard Dean angrily reply, fury in his words. "They don't need to have _anything! _You've just made it so much harder on them, so congradu-fucking-lations, Sol!" Leo's arm tensed closer around him, he didn't like it when their dad swore or yelled.

"They are _my_ kids, Sol! Not yours! I'm _sorry_ that your twin brother died, okay, I really am, but just because you wanted fucking nephews so bad doesn't mean that you're _entitled_ to them or some shit!" There was the sound of furniture scraping across the floor, and the lights in the apartment began to blare and dim, flickering. "_You're not my brother, you're not my family_! Get the hell away from me and my kids!" There was a loud crash and what sounded like breaking glass, and the twins could tell that Baby was gone.

"He'll be better in the morning, RJ. He's always been better in the morning." Leo spoke up quietly, trying to comfort his twin as he buried his face into the soft grey ashes, they felt like warm, powdery flakes on his cheeks. "Cas is going to come back. It's because he loves us." Robbie felt a tear slip down and boil away off his cheek as he let Leo cuddle up closer to him, like he always did. "I know he does, Lee. I believe that now."

* * *

_It's going to get happier after this, I promise! Thanks for reading :)_


	23. Crash Landing

Dean slowly began to wake up, he slid to the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. Yesterday, it almost didn't seem real. _Pull yourself together, dammit_. He hated that he'd yelled at his kids, that the truth had been revealed so violently to them. He promised that if they asked, he was going to tell them everything. The only thing he didn't want to show them was how hurt he really was inside. He slid off the bed and padded out to the living room area of the hotel room, and he saw the two little boys fast asleep among the smoldering grey ashes, just a small bit of smoke wafted up into the chimney.

He crouched down and gently went to wake up Leo, and he saw his tiny fist was curled up in a ball. He opened it gently just at the little kid was waking up, and he saw a tiny scrap of fabric from the tie inside, like a little sapphire, and he swept it into his own hand with one finger. He rubbed the tiny scrap of silky fabric in his palms, wishing he could take it back. _I'm so sorry I burned your gift. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing anymore. I just miss you too much. _He tucked the scrap of fabric into his pocket and went and gently pulled Leo up by the armpits and brought him into his chest, just as he opened his beautiful blue eyes. Dean was overwhelmed with the smell of smoke, and he set the little kid to stand up as he pulled Robbie out as well, Leo rubbed his eyes.

"Come on, you two. You need a bath." He said quietly, guiding the little boys into the bathroom. "Why did you yell at Uncle Sol, dad?" Leo asked innocently, rubbing his nose with his fist as he then put his little arms over his head for Dean to pull off his shirt. "I don't know. I probably shouldn't have yelled at him, I'm going to say I'm sorry, okay?" Dean moved on and did the same for Robbie, turning and running the warm bathwater. Just for good measure, he added a little bit of shampoo so they could have a bubble bath.

It had gotten much easier to give them baths as they got older, especially if he distracted them from trying to spill the water out with bubbles. Robbie laughed as Dean shampooed the smoky smell out of his dark hair, he pulled it into a little mohawk with all the white suds. Leo was piling the bubbles onto his chest, floating on his back as he wore the form of a young otter, slipping under the water and twisting and coming back up as a little boy.

"I'm not mad, okay? It was time to get out of that old apartment anyway. We can find an even better place, maybe even a real house." Dean said as he squeezed a bit of shampoo into Leo's hair and Robbie blew a clump of bubbles at him.

"Maybe Cas could come back and live in our real house too." Leo said happily, squeezing his eyes shut as Dean massaged the suds into his smoky-smelling hair. "Yeah, Leo baby. Maybe." Dean said, trying to hold back a sigh as he worked the bubbles down into the roots of his blonde hair. "Do you want a mohawk too? Whoops, I made it the wrong way!" Dean laughed, as he pinched up all the hair into a sideways mohawk, a little blonde crown semi-circling his head. Dean dipped the cup into the water and Robbie squeezed his eyes shut as Dean poured it over his head, but when he opened his eyes again the little boy looked sad as he looked over his small arms, examining his body.

"What's wrong, Robbie?" Dean asked, and the little kid looked at him with those gleaming green eyes and stuck his little lip out, speaking up in a whisper. "When did I get bit, dad?" He asked sadly, looking over his small arms again and not finding anything but smooth, wet skin.

Dean took in a breath, he promised he wasn't going to lie to them anymore, they deserved more than that now. "No, honey. It wasn't like that. You were...you were born with it." He forced himself to say, and the little boy knit his eyebrows together, confused when he spoke up again. "Does that mean that Cas is...like me too?" For the first time, a little gleam of hope was shining in his eyes. If Cas and him were the same, maybe Cas would know what to do, how to help him.

"No, Robbie. Cas is an angel." He said, and both of them perked up, Leo going to look at him and dropping the small empty shampoo bottle he was playing with as a floaty toy. "An angel? Our other dad is an angel?" He asked, looking shocked but excited. "Does that mean that me and RJ..."

"You two are angels, at least part. I am too, so is Uncle Sammy and Uncle Sol." He revealed to them, it was almost strange that they accepted all of the things they did without question, without putting a name to it. Robbie was looking off to the side, as if he were still trying to figure out how he could have been born as a werewolf if his dad was an angel.

"Is that why...when I got angry at Robbie, there was an earthquake?" Leo piped up in a scared voice, sweeping and hugging bubbles to his chest as if they could comfort him. "Yes. That's why you can do most things other kids can't." The two exchanged glances, and Robbie's expression was one of doubt and confusion although Leo's was one of excitement and happiness. "Oh, okay. Can I get out now?" Leo said, splashing the water lightly. Dean helped him out of the bath and wrapped a towel around him, rubbing his shoulders and his hair dry, slipping the towel down until his little face peeped out from the white. "Why don't you be a big boy and go get changed? Me and Robbie are going to be right out."

"Can I pick out anything I want to wear?" He asked, and when Dean nodded he was off like a rocket. Dean flipped the switch and the tub began to drain, Robbie looked up at him with sad eyes as the water began to lower all around him. "Why I am a werewolf then, dad? I am the bad guy?" He asked rubbing his eyes with his hands. "I don't want to be the bad guy!" Dean lifted him out of the tub and wrapped a big, white towel around him, the white forming a little hood around his small face as he looked up at him with big green eyes, his lip sticking out just slightly. He was scared.

"Robert John, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?" Dean said seriously, putting his hands up onto his small shoulders and sliding them down, gripping his upper arms lightly through the towel. "You and your brother-you're going to grow up to be _very _powerful, do you understand?" Robbie nodded slowly, searching his dad's face back and forth with those light green orbs. "You're _not_ the bad guy. You get to choose if you want to be the hero or the villain. Both of you. You're just like...like superman." He said with a sad smile. He wasn't lying to them, right? Little angels infused with monster parts as part of some strange experiment by heaven was a bit of a far fetch from the traditional superman story, but they could understand that they were engineered to be the most powerful beings the world had seen, gemlings, crown jewels of heaven, and that they had the choice to work for the good guys or the bad guys.

"Okay, dad." He nodded, finally smiling just a little bit. "I'm going to be the good guy." Dean smiled and kissed him on the wet forehead."Do you feel better now?" He asked gently, rubbing the moisture off of him as he rubbed his towel. "Um-hm." Robbie nodded, and Dean pulled him into a big hug. "Good. I love you very much, Bobby."

The little kid smiled and blinked. "I know, dad. You tell me that everyday." Dean felt a little overwhelmed as his chest rose. He didn't want to imagine his life without them. He cleared his throat and patted his little back. "Good. Now you can choose whatever you want to wear today too."

...

Dean tried to avoid the glances of disapproving parents as the two boys rode in the cart with him, Sam had come along to go and stock up on food, since he would be the person eating most of it. Leo was wearing red rain boots even though it was a beautiful day in the middle of summer, he wore his camouflage pajama bottoms and a bright neon rash guard. Dean had absolutely no idea why in the world he'd pick that out to be his outfit, but the little boy didn't let him go back on his word to let them wear whatever they wanted. Robbie refused to wear shoes, and he was wearing his red-and-white christmas flannel pajama pants, two layers of shirts, one striped and one polka-dotted, with a plaid flannel over all of that. They pointed and shouted out the things they wanted in little high-pitched voices, feeling like little pirates sailing in their ship as Dean pushed them along the isles in the shopping cart.

"Baby told me he's willing to talk to you if you've calmed down a little." Sam said as he grabbed a box of cereal and placed it in the cart before dropping to walk next to him behind the cart. "Just to let you know, I don't blame you for what you did. I know it's been hard for you after all this time, and seeing that tie..."

"Oreos, dad, oreos!" One of the kids piped up, and Dean ignored it and turned to Sam. "I know. I feel like such an idiot now." He hung his head for a second before swerving the cart and letting them grab a box of cookies off the shelf. He felt just a little bit better knowing that he'd saved that tiny piece of fabric that he'd somehow been able to find after it had been burned. Maybe Cas could build it back from that. "Baby tells me he's going to come back soon, and I believe him." Sam said optimistically, grabbing something chocolate-covered too and putting it in the cart. Dean raised his eyebrows in disbelief, and Sam grinned and lifted his arms in a 'what?' gesture. "What? I've been working hard, okay?" Dean laughed and pulled his arm over his shoulder, he just needed a quick hug from his brother after such a hard day yesterday.

"I wanted to tell you something earlier too, Dean." Sam added when he pulled away. "I was going to tell you yesterday, but, yeah. All that happened." The two fell into step as they pulled up to the register. Sam was smiling brightly, and Dean brought his eyebrows together. "...So, what is it?"

"I...well, you know how I told you that I was working with a few other angels and Baby? The solid group?" Dean nodded, he was glad that Sam had found his niche, a way to help out and finally turn heaven back into the place it was supposed to be. Sam smiled and looked down at some of the magazines at the check out, blushing slightly. "Well...I, uh, found someone. I really think...I think she might be my Other." He said proudly, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks. "I met her about two years ago, but we're really close now."

"Oh, you told me about her a while ago, didn't you? Is that still her?" Dean asked, and he was trying to be casual but he was actually really excited for his brother. "Dad, can we put the stuff on the belt?" Robbie piped up, and Dean agreed by a quick rub of his hair as he kept looking at Sam. "What was her name again? Ja-something?"

"Jadariel." He said, almost a glow on his face. "Well, Jesus, Sam, have her come down and visit. I can't believe you didn't tell me about her being your Other before." Dean said, smiling finally and leaning on the bar of the cart as the two little boys worked hard to unload the items all around them in their crazy outfits. He was glad when he got to have Sam around that day, he'd been working hard lately, almost every day with his group, which he called his 'flock'.

Baby came down again, and Dean didn't quite know what to say to him this time. He shouldn't have yelled at him for giving his kids their present, he definitely shouldn't have thrown the tie in the fire. But when he'd laid eyes on it back here on Earth, after such a long time...he just couldn't explain the hurt he'd felt, the anger, the feelings of abandonment. Baby forgave him, and turned the ashes back into the beautiful silky tie, just a small patch missing from it, which Dean quickly grabbed and pieced it back together. "Hold onto this for now, give it back to him when he comes back. I'll be back for the twin's birthday. It's in a couple days now, isn't it?" He asked, handing him the tie and looking at him almost sadly, as if he could understand why he'd been so angry. "Yeah. Thank you, Baby." Dean avoided his eyes and he gently folded up the tie again, turning away and going to store it someplace safe.

...

Dean shot up in bed when he heard a loud crash from the living room. _Oh, no_. He scrambled to get out of bed, he was wearing nothing but a band T-shirt and boxers, as he slipped his blade into his hand and rushed to the boys' room. _The Gatherers_.

Dean quickly pulled open the door, and he was met with empty beds. _No, no, oh god_... He then felt a rush of relief as he spotted them both in the corner of the room, he put a hand over his chest and exhaled. Robbie had shoved Leo behind him, his little arms splayed out to protect him as he held the demon knife in one hand and Leo's blade in the other.

"Dad!" Leo cried out in a desperate, scared voice, but Robbie quickly restrained him. "That might not be him, Lee!" He hissed at him, shoving him behind his back and glaring fiercely at Dean. In the past couple of days, they'd been asking him nonstop questions about heaven and angels, and he told them how dangerous things were. He'd taught them so well.

"Listen to me, I'm going to check this out. If you hear me yell run, fly away. I'll find you, where ever you go. Understand?" He commanded them quickly, gripping tightly to his blade and ready to run into the living room. "Yes," Robbie whispered, and Leo had started to cry, but he was trying hard to keep his sobs quiet.

Dean slipped out of their room and into the living room, his blade at the ready as his hand shook with adrenaline. He was going to protect them even if it killed him. Damn Gatherers, coming at night when they'd be sleeping. He wanted to just run each and every one of them through before they could lay a finger on his sons.

He ran out quickly, whipping his head from side to side to scan the room. He saw a dark figure trying to stand up, they were silouhetted in the pale moonlight as they struggled to get out of the broken glass table they'd smashed into when they'd fallen. Already Dean found this strange, Gatherers were quick, efficient, lethal. This just couldn't be one of those by the way they were clumsily detangling their limbs from the sheets of broken glass and trying to stand up shakily.

Dean finally got a glimpse of who it was as the moonlight streamed across the upper half of his body. He brushed off his trench coat of any tiny broken pieces of glass, and he lifted his head a second later. His bright blue eyes were twinkling in the pale light, he had a large smile on his face.

Dean felt a shock run through his whole body as he sprinted forward, seizing him immediately into a tight hug, whipping his arms around him an squeezing him into his chest, never wanting to let go. He went to look into his face, the face he missed so much, the one he often dreamt about, and he was surprised when he felt lips press hard onto his. He closed his eyes and kissed back, feeling tears slip from under his eyelids. Cas pulled away, smiling as his face remained just inches away from Dean's.

"I remember now, everything. I'm so sorry I left you alone for so long." He said quietly, and Dean went forward to gently kiss him one more time. "It's okay, Cas. It's okay, you're back now." He pulled himself closer, fitting his head on top of his shoulder. Cas gently wrapped his arms around him, his palms feeling the textured scars on his back. "Did I do this?" He asked quietly, and Dean didn't answer and he kept his face buried in his neck, his arms squeezing around his body.

"I've missed you so much." He said quietly, gripping tightly to the back of his head as they rocked back and forth silently, the two halves finally coming together again. "How are Robert John and Leoniel, Dean?" Cas asked, tears slipping from his eyes and pattering onto Dean's back they kept slowly swaying back and forth, not wanting to let go.

"They're so good, Cas. They know who you are, they can't wait to meet you." He pulled his head away and looked deep into his face, his green eyes shimmering with happiness and that strange expression that Cas hadn't been able to quite name earlier, love. "They're so good, Cas. I could talk for days and tell you all about them."

"Can I...can I see them?" Castiel asked quietly, for some reason there was just a hint of anxiety in his voice. He was nervous about meeting them for the first time, what if they were angry with him for leaving them? What if they refused to believe it was really him? Dean felt another tear roll down his cheek. After all these years, they could finally meet him. "Of course, Cas, of course." He replied hoarsely, beaming. He searched his face again, pulling forward and gently kissing him again, the expression he wore when he pulled away said much more than anything he'd be able to say aloud. He waited just a second before turning his head around and calling into their bedroom.

"Robbie, Leo! It's okay, you can come out!" He called back into their room, he felt like his chest was ballooning up, he really hoped this whole thing wasn't just a dream.

"Is it really him?" Leo asked Robbie softly, and the kid screwed up his face, trying hard to feel the light and match it to his dad's. "Yeah. But there's someone else.." He tried to do the same thing, and he cocked his head to the side. "What is it?" Leo asked timidly. "This one...it feels like you."

Leo tried the same thing, gasping lightly. "RJ, he feels like you do to me!" He exclaimed, rushing out from behind him and grasping Robbie's hand, pulling him to stand at the doorpost.

Dean turned on all the lights with an effortless flick of his wrist, and Cas saw the two of them peeping curiously from their bedroom door, the first time he'd ever laid eyes on them. Both of them had a curious expression on their faces, blue and green eyes alight with discovery. Robbie's black hair was sticking up on one side, a major case of bed head. Leo's soft, freckled cheek had pink lines pressed to it from the sheets.

Cas's facial expression melted into complete love, his eyes were streaming and the blue was softer than anything Dean had ever seen. He dropped down to a crouch, throwing his arms out wide as the two little boys rushed forward into his arms, running as fast as their little legs could carry them. Cas wrapped his arms around both of their backs, closing his eyes and just feeling the small bodies pressing to his shoulders, feeling the lights that were a mix of his and Dean's. He wrapped them up tightly, lifting them to his shoulders like they weighed nothing.

"Cas, you got so strong!" Dean laughed wetly, dragging the back of his hand across his cheek. Cas wordlessly began to carry them back into their bedroom, tears streaming from his eyes and the kids leaned on him with a dead weight. He lay down on one of the beds, and Leo pieced himself to grip tightly to his ribcage, and Cas slid his hand to pull the small of his back closer as the little blonde-haired kid silently pushed his face into his clothes, wrapping his tiny arms around him.

"I knew you were coming back. I always knew you'd come back." Robbie said happily, pulling himself upward and wrapping his arms around Cas's neck, whispering into his ear. "You did?" Cas asked happily, leaning his cheek to rest on Robbie's dark head of hair, they stayed like that for a moment as Dean watched from the doorway.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see you for so long." Cas said gently, sadly as Robbie gave him a little kiss on the cheek, to which he laughed happily. "It's okay. As long as you promise to stay forever." Cas smiled and hugged him closely with his one arm, kissing his hair and closing his eyes, looking extremely content as his kept his arms wrapped around his sons, they pressed onto him in a little boy sandwich. Dean got a flash of insight; this was the exact same sides they'd clung onto him when they were teenagers such a long time ago, when they'd held him in the back of the car, when Cas had been so weak and frail.

"Yeah Cas, stay forever please." Leo piped up in a small voice, lifting his eyes to look into Cas's face. He saw his own blue eyes mirrored there, he saw parts of Robbie and himself there. "I will. I promise." Dean realized something else, the reason why they never called him dad. They'd met him so late that it must have been strange to start referring to him as their dad, especially when they already had one. Both of the boys closed their eyes, they looked exhausted.

Dean felt a little tired himself, especially since he'd just had his energy sapped from that adrenaline rush. He looked at the clock in the room, it was almost four am. "Make sure they get some sleep tonight, Cas. It's their birthday tomorrow." He said quietly, almost stunned still that this perfect image was right before his eyes. "I'll be gentle Dean. I promise." Dean came up on the bed and lay next to Robbie, who was already falling asleep. He reached out and gently pushed a piece of Cas's dark hair from his forehead. Cas closed his eyes and exhaled, smiling slightly.

Dean thought about how finally, things had come together. Heaven had affected every single one of them, the kids and what they were, which had in turn effected Cas tremendously, and then there was what Dean had become. Everything, all that misfortune, had led up to this one absolutely perfect moment. Dean looked down and saw Cas's semi-translucent wings pull over all three of them.

"You're still hurt?" He said quietly, seeing that they still weren't perfectly whole. He wished he could really touch them, smooth out the feathers and gently stroke the ends that still had a few parts missing. "It's okay, it doesn't matter anymore. I just need to rest for a little longer."

"Whatever you need." Dean said softly, running his fingers through his dark hair, just like Robbie's. He almost couldn't believe that this was finally real, he'd never have to leave again. He felt Cas's soft breath on his lower arm as he brought up his hand to run it through his hair again. "You _are_ going to stay, right?" He asked sadly, he couldn't even imagine having him leave again. Now that he believed he was back...he couldn't live without him again.

"Yes." He whispered, finally folding open his eyes to look at him. His eyes were half-narrowed, his eyes were shining with happiness. He blinked slowly, rubbing Leo's back as he clung tightly to him. He couldn't believe that he'd finally met them, that they were so perfect, that they really had accepted him right away. He moved his hand up to his head, stroking the soft golden hairs, he was beaming.

Dean watched him looking at his son for the first time, his eyelashes fluterring slightly as he watched him sleeping by his side, his lips brought into a small smile as he stroked his hair again, loving the way the golden hairs reflected in the light, he looked at the splash of freckles on his cheeks, taking in the speckled constellations for the first time, knowing that with time he'd be able to see them mapped out as he closed his eyes, like with Dean's. He faced toward Dean again as he took in his other son, his eyes flitting all around as he looked at his tuft of pitch black hair, his kind little face that he could pick all kinds of features and who they derived from. He knew under those closed eyelids, those fanned out eyelashes, lay beautiful light green eyes, like Dean's.

"I love you." Dean felt the words tumble from his lips, he watched Cas's eyes grow soft and look at him, blinking slowly. "I was at my breaking point, Cas. I didn't know how much longer I could go on. Then you came and crash landed back into my life." He smiled, reaching up and running his fingers through his hairs once more.

"I love you too." He said quietly, smiling as a tear slipped from his eye. "You know, I believe it is customary in human culture to say that _before_ having kids."

"Oh, shut up." Dean laughed, reaching his hand over and pulling himself over to kiss him gently on the lips. Cas took his hand off of Robbie and pressed his palm to Dean's cheek, running his thumb gently over its surface as he pulled away. Their eyes met for a second, and Dean felt his chest puff up tremendously. He lay down again, closing his eyes as he pressed his cheek to his pillow. "Goodnight, Cas." He said happily, pulling his arm up and slipping it around Robbie, who was fast asleep and breathing evenly inward and outward. "Goodnight, Dean."

...

Dean was being woken up roughly as his body was being rolled and pushed by two little hands on his shoulders and legs. He groaned and rubbed his face. "Dad, can we open our presents?" Leo asked, plopping himself onto Dean's chest as he rolled off his side. He laughed and finally sat up, Robbie jumping into his lap as well.

"Happy birthday, you two." He said, giving them both kisses on the cheeks as they quickly pulled off his lap, bouncing as they stood on the edge of the bed. "Come on, dad! Let's go!" Robbie prompted him, grabbing his ankle and tugging. "Do you both want breakfast today instead of lunch and dinner?" He asked, it just felt like that eggs and bacon kind of morning.

"Yeah, yeah! And cake for dinner!" Leo piped up, bobbing on his heels. "Okay, bug, I'll be right out." He replied groggily, and they pattered excitedly away. He turned to his side again and saw that smooth, untouched part of his bed was finally occupied, wrinkled blankets forming a little hill as dark hair tufted out the top. He smiled to himself, reaching out to shake Cas awake, forgetting momentarily that he didn't sleep.

"Good morning, Cas." He said, the words he didn't know how long he'd waited to say finally leaving his lips. "Hello, Dean." Cas answered, and he laughed when he opened his eyes and saw Leo and Robbie just peeping over his side of the bed, the opposite colored hair and glimmering eyes. "Good morning, Leoniel and Robert." He said happily, reaching out and cupping his hand on one of their cheeks. "What are you doing over there?"

"Just checking to see if you're still here." Robbie piped up, putting his hand on Leo's shoulder as if to reassure him. Cas laughed, closing his eyes and smiling. "I'm always going to still be here."

"Okay!" Leo said happily, and the two of them began to trounce away, into the kitchen. Cas turned to Dean, and their eyes met. Dean smiled and pulled forward to kiss him, but he suddenly felt the bed wobble as the two boys launched themselves onto it, and he felt a tiny hand on his cheek, pulling him away. "Ewwww! No kissing on the lips! That is not allowed!" One of the boys piped up, without looking Dean could tell it was Leo. Dean felt laughter bubble up from his throat as he tackled the little kid into a hug, squeezing him and rocking him back and forth, smiling widely.

"Hey, I'm paying for this place, I make the rules!" He joked, lifting him by the armpits and setting him down on his feet lightly. He looked back and saw Robbie unusually being very cuddly, hugging tightly to Cas's chest, his dark black wings were out again and wrapped around the both of them. "Are your wings okay, Cas?" He whispered quietly to him, pointing at the dark object, concern shining from his green eyes. It wasn't very easy to shake the role of big brother, was it?

"I'm fine, Robert. I am so happy that I got to meet you." He said, pulling him away and just looking him up and down. Dean heard his voice in his head, the first time in a very long time. _They're both so beautiful. _Dean nodded and tried to kiss Cas again, and Robbie playfully shoved his face away, laughing. "You are not allowed to be icky in front of me!" He said, bobbing up and down in Cas's arms. "C'mon, dad! Breakfast!" Dean relunctantly got up, pulling Cas up with him.

"Uncle Sammy!" Both of them cried out when they made it to the kitchen, rushing forward and tackling Sam's legs into hugs. "There they are, the birthday boys! Wow, two hands now, huh?" He said playfully, finally looking up and seeing Cas with Dean. His expression softened and he smiled, walking forward as the two boys held onto his hands dangling down. "Great to see you, Cas." "You too, Sam." He replied, his blue eyes sparkling.

Nothing could bring Dean down that day. He couldn't even place how happy he felt as he and Cas watched from a tiny balcony as the boys played in the empty pool, swirling the water around using angelic telekenisis, boiling it away with the phoenix part of them, Leo swimming as a turtle, a baby hippo, an otter, a little duckling.

"They're very different, aren't they?" Cas asked quietly, watching as Leo turned into a young dolphin, bobbing up to Robbie as he tried to push him away with a wave of water. "Yes." Dean replied, tipping a beer back to his lips. This was the part he was dreading, when he'd have to see if Cas was overwhelmed or afraid of them.

"They're very special." He concluded, and Dean turned to see he was smiling instead of frowning, he looked at peace. "This is no secret to me, Dean. I was able to feel that they were more than angel or human when I carried them, every second I was reminded of it. As long as...they're good, right? They've never...hurt anyone?"

"No, no. They're definitely good. It was a bit of a handful, when they were little especially. They were full of surprises." He laughed, thinking about how crazy it had been in their baby years.

Suddenly, his face fell again. "You remember that one of them had werewolf parts, right?" He asked quietly. "That's Robbie. I hate it so much, he gets really sick every full moon. I recently told him what he is-he was so afraid, Cas. He thought he was the bad guy." Dean felt tears coming to his eyes as he finally revealed this to him. "I wish I could just make it all go away. I wish I could fix it."

"Soloviel told us there is a cure out there. We can find it, Dean. I know we can." Cas said in a determined voice, laying his hand on top of Dean's. "I love them so much."

"I hoped you would." Dean smiled through his words, looking down at his kids playing around again as relief poured into his chest. "I knew you would."

That night, they sang happy birthday and the two got to have a small slice of cake for dinner before bed. It had taken them a little while to think of wishes for their candles, now that Cas had already come back. Dean intertwined his hand with Cas's as they had their arms resting on the table, both watching the small faces illuminated by the yellow glow of their tiny six candles, taking the twins in as they closed their eyes and thought of wishes, before blowing the candles out and plunging the room into darkness. A second later the lights flipped on.

"Well, look at you two! Happy birthday!" Baby cried out, clapping his hands with everyone else. "Here's your presents!" He had them pick behind his back, even though the two presents were the same, some very nice polaroid cameras.

"Now, I want a lot of pictures the next time I see you, got it?" He said happily as they examined their news cameras. "We promise!" Robbie piped up, taking a picture right away of Dean and Cas looking at each other at the table as if to illustrate they would.

"Hey, you little paparazzi! Don't make me steal that picture away!" Dean laughed, jumping up and chasing the little kid around the room as he giggled loudly, flapping the picture around quickly to develop it. It was getting late when everyone went home, but Dean had agreed to let the boys come onto his bed and show Cas their one photo album that Sam had put together for them, it was part of their gift for their fifth birthday last year. Cas smiled as he flipped through the pages slowly, Robbie and Leo always wanting to skip ahead and point out their favorite ones. When they reached the end, there was still one grid of shiny blank sleeves. Dean slid the polariod Robbie had taken earlier right in, it was of him and Cas silently looking at each other, hands intertwined with their arms resting on the table, tiny knowing smiles stretched on both of their lips.

"Off to bed, little bugs! Don't forget to brush your teeth!" Dean called out softly as they both tiredly slid from their bed, walking out with heavy legs back to their bedroom. Dean looked to Cas, and he felt a rush of sadness overwhelm him. Cas felt it immediately, and quickly wrapped his arm around Dean, he curled in tightly on himself.

"I just...all these years, I don't know if I was the best father to them. I've messed up so much, Cas, I feel like I've ruined things for them, told them things no six-year-old should have to deal with..." He felt all his insecurties tumble from his mouth, he'd never voiced himself this openly to Baby or even Sam. "I don't know if I've been a bad father, neglecting them as I just...was waiting for you."

Cas rubbed his back softly, and Dean sighed shakily, feeling more vulnerable that he had in a long, long time. "I see it in their eyes and in their minds, Dean. They both love you more than anything in the world." Dean felt like a kid again as he curled up, vulnerable and shaking, next to Cas. "You did such a good job, Dean." He said lovingly, comforting him as he rubbed his back in small circles. They sat there for a long while, and Dean felt so at peace, nodding off to sleep as he suddenly remembered something.

"Wait, Cas. I have something for you." He slid out of bed and fished around his sock drawer, grasping the tie when he felt the silky texture. "I'm sorry I burned it. But it's back now." He placed it in Cas's hands, a thought occuring to him. "Kind of like you." Now that he thought about it, exactly like him. He'd given himself up for the kids, getting burnt down, just the smallest piece getting saved by the kids, finally getting Baby to patch up all the rest.

"You didn't throw me into a fire, Dean." Cas laughed as he slipped the tie around his neck, retying it backwards again.

"It was a metaphor," Dean joked back, slipping down next to him and feeling his chest swell as Cas rested his head on his shoulder and put his arm over his chest, much like the day he'd woken up and tried to deny everything. So damn much had happened since then.

"Cas," Dean breathed, moving to hover over him, pressing his lips to his softly. The angel opened his blue eyes, drinking in Dean's face. "Remember when we first...?"

Cas smiled a little and his eyes swept to the side. "Yes," He admitted shyly. "And I was too rough with you."

"Well, the bond is for life, isn't it? We have plenty of time to practice." Dean breathed to his neck, sending a trail of kisses up his neck. Cas sharply drew in a breath, his back arching slightly.

Dean cupped his pale face tenderly in his palm, a small smile on his face. Cas looked into his features with awe, his breath hitching a little faster in his throat.

"I don't want to hurt you again..." He started, but Dean silenced him by pressing his lips over his talking mouth, Cas quickly melted into the kiss, reaching up and tangling the fingers into the hairs on the back of his neck.

"We're basically angel-married, aren't we?" Dean whispered. "I guess it's about time I did my job." He joked lightly, speaking into his lips as he ran his hands down to the bottom of his shirt, tugging gently upwards.

Cas grinned and finally tugged his shirt off, fumbling a little with his tie. He suddenly looked a little concerned, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Dean," He spoke up shyly, just as Dean began to kiss his neck gently again. "I don't want our children to hear."

A huge smile broke across Dean's face. "Never knew how much I wanted that said to me." Dean mumbled happily, kissing him again as Cas finally reciprocated, tangling his fingers in his hair again, pressing back with force.

"I love you." Cas breathed into his neck, his eyes were closed, his breathing picking up.

He felt his chest ballooning up just with the thought; this was his angel, and he was Cas's angel. He whispered, running his hands through his hair. "I love you too."


	24. First Involuntary

_To my followers; sorry for this notification! I wanted to add one of my oneshots into this story, I felt there needed to be a better transition between my chapters. And there might be a few more notifications as I'm doing some heavy editing. Sorry about that! Thank you for being a follower :)_

* * *

_Tick, tick, tick._

It was an exceptionally hot day in May, and especially nice that Dean didn't have to go into the body shop today. He and Cas we lazing around amongst the ruffled white blankets, Cas was flat on his back and splayed out in the heat, Dean on his stomach as he closed his eyes and was caught in the limbo between resting and actually napping.

_Tick, tick, tick_.

The ceiling fan was clicking a little as it wobbled above their heads, on full blast in the heat.

"Fan's broken." Dean mumbled, breathing in the scent of his bedsheets, which didn't smell like just him anymore, but the lingering scent was a mix of both him and Cas. The angel had crash landed back into his life a few weeks ago, and Dean seemed to be on a high still.

"Want me to fix it?" He asked lazily, turning to the side and looking at Cas's gorgeous profile as he stared up at the ceiling.

"It doesn't bother me." The angel answered pensively.

_Tick, tick, tick._

"Really?" Dean asked, laughing.

"It is only an apartment. We should call someone in, instead of fixing it ourselves."

Dean slid a hand down his face. "We need a house soon, that's what. I think it'd be best for the twins too."

_Tick, tick, tick_.

Dean propped himself up on one elbow and stared at Cas, his blue eyes fixed on the ceiling. "What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly. "Hopefully nothing bad."

Cas's lips pulled into the tiniest smile and he closed his eyes. "Houses. Homes, I believe that would be the better definition."

Dean scooted a little closer. "Yeah?" He prompted, smiling and holding his head up as he propped up his elbow. "What kind of homes?"

"One story, or two story. And maybe it could be light blue. With white trims. Or maybe white with dark blue trims. And a garden."

Dean smiled and closed his eyes too. "Brick walkway leading up to it?"

"Yes. And a brick chimney."

Dean scooted closer. "And a red door."

Cas nodded, finally turning and facing him, his pupils dialated almost completely. "And a back porch."

"White picket fence?" Dean asked, leaning forward and giving him a kiss. "Lots of windows?"

"The fence especially." He answered. "And our own bedroom. A nice one."

Dean felt laughter bubble up into his throat as he pressed another kiss to his lips and began to sit up. "Big bed?" He asked happily.

"The biggest size." Cas replied happily. "Right in the middle of the room."

Dean was crouching over him now, his legs straddling his hips as he had his palms pressed to the matress on either side of his face. "And you're not forgetting about the fixed fan, are you?" He teased.

"Especially a fixed fan." The angel replied almost breathlessly, looking lust blown already. Every since he'd come back; Dean couldn't have been happier when he knew the person he was making love to would be the person he'd really spend the rest of his life with. And they'd had a lot of free time and six years of catch up to do.

_Tick, tick, tick. _

The broken fan clicked above as it wobbled along at high speed, just as Dean really deepened the kissing from sweet smooches to a long, draw out frencher. Cas rolled him over so that _he_ was on his back instead, pressing down hard with his lips and his body.

Dammit, the phone had started trilling that loud, electronic ring from all around the snug apartment.

Cas straightened and broke the kiss gently with a soft suction noise, lingering for a second as he spoke quietly into his lips. "Should we get that?"

Dean closed his eyes, his face was burning hot, and he was aching for this. "No," He answered quickly, yanking Cas down by the tie and pressing his lips hard onto his. The ringing made way to the female electronic voice of the caller I.D.

"CALL, from: GRANT ELEMEN"

The two of the instantly parted, Dean's eyes growing wide. "Grant Elementary? What the hell are they calling here for?" He heard the voicemail pick up and he scrambled to pick up the phone in time.

_Beep_... Hi, um, Mr. Winchester? This is the school principle Mrs. Boyle. I need you to come into school immediately, your son Robert Winchester is being expelled from Grant Elementary, effective immediately, for using a blood weapon against other first grade students, inflicting serious injury and bodily harm, and-"

Dean felt his blood drain from his face as he snatched up the phone. "Hello? _Hello_?"

The woman rapidly explained to him, and Dean quickly slammed down the phone and grabbed some socks, hopping as he pulled on his shoes.

"Dean-?" Cas asked, confused by Dean's horrified expression.

"We have to go down to the school right now, Cas." Dean explained grimly. "I think he got triggered. I think this is his first involuntary."

When the two finally arrived, Robbie was shaking violently in his seat as he stared down at the floor, wringing his hands in his lap as a police officer was standing behind the chair, towering over him with a brooding expression.

The woman began attacking him right when he set foot in the office. "This child has violent tendencies, and if you don't enroll him in some kind of boy's behavior academy, or even juvinile hall, I'll have to really get the authority on your asses-"

Robbie began sobbing, he finally brought his hands up to his face, where he'd been previously hiding his lap, which was wet.

Dean rushed forward and gathered the sobbing, shaking little boy into his arms, trying not to pay attention to the dampness. "A student of yours wets himself and you don't even give him a change of clothes? And you call yourself a teacher?" He was angry as he gripped Robbie tightly. "Cas." Dean growled, backing away as the principle exploded at him.

"He _attacked_ the other students! With a weapon that drew blood, you should see the gashes and punctures on their arms! That kid is psychotic!"

Cas pressed two fingers to her head, and then the police officer's. They were out cold with no memory of the students Leo and Robbie Winchester.

"C'mon. We should start looking for schools that accept kids so late in the school year." Dean said unemotionally, striding from the office with his six-year-old son tucked tight in his arms.

"I dinit..I dinit mean too.." Robbie sobbed, wrapping his arms around his neck and nuzzling his face in his shoulder. "I don't remember..what happened.."

"Shhhhh." Dean rubbed his back as the little body shook. "It's okay. I know."

They pulled Leo from class and flew home. It turned out Leo had watched the whole thing, and he looked at them with a glassy expression when they finally picked him up. It was hard to get either of them to calm down, and they wound up seperating them that night.

Cas insisted that he be the one to talk with Robbie, so Dean tucked Leo in to bed. He still had that glassy look as Dean pulled the covers up around him and stroked his soft, golden hair.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, slipping to lay next to him. "What happened?"

Leo sniffled and rubbed his face with the blanket. "Well.." He started, rubbing his eyes. "Me n' Robbie were playing during recess and these kids came up and started makin' fun of us and calling us witches and freaks n' stuff and we tried to ignore them but then they pushed me and RJ got mad and then they pushed him and then they both were hitting and he tol' me to get a teacher so I was running and-and.."

His voice was watery now, and he quickly scooted and tucked himself into Dean's chest. "It's okay. You can tell me." He said quietly, placing a hand on his back.

"And then they started punching and kicking him and he fell down and he wasn't fighting back and then I heard a loud noise an he turned into the wolf but it was different- he was hurting them real bad and they were saying stop and he couldn't hear so I-I runned over and tried to stop it and then he went back regular but he acted like he didn't know.."

Dean frowned and hugged him tightly. This wouldn't be the first time Robbie would do this, he remembered.

"Leo?" He asked quietly, and the little kid nodded onto his chest.

"You still love your brother?"

Leo nodded again, more vigorously.

"Take care of him, okay? You can bring him back when that happens. I think only you can do it. So you're going to help him, right?"

The little boy nodded again. "Okay."

"Good." Dean shut his eyes and kissed his soft hair. Thank God Cas was here when this happened- he had no idea how he'd deal with this without him.

Leo whimpered out a scared sob and clung even tighter to him.

_"Hey Juude,_" Dean began the first notes, slipping his hand over his golden hairs. _"Don't make it bad.._"

Leo giggled a little. "My name's not _Jude_!" He interrupted. "It's _Leo_!"

Dean cleared his throat. "Okay, then." He started up again. "_Hey, LeonielSamuelWinchester," _He used that long, squeezing-things-in single note that can be heard in drawn out birthday song names, and Leo erupted into giggles. _  
_

"That's silly." He laughed a little more. "I think I'm okay now, dada." He pulled himself under the covers.

"Good. G'night, Leo baby." Dean tucked him in and kissed his forehead. He just hoped that Cas was helping Robbie just as easily.

Robbie was in the bath, still shaking and crying as Cas tried desparately to bathe him. He squeezed his eyes shut as water cascaded over his head, washing away the grime he was covered in.

"I didn't mean to..." He whimpered, his tears mixing with the warm bathwater. "I was so scared..and-and.."

Cas drained the tub and helped him into a fluffy white towel. Robbie curled the towel tighter against himself and tried to hide his face in shame.

"This is not something you can help." Cas explained quietly. "It was not your fault."

"But I hurt them!" Robbie insisted, hiding his face even more in the towel, his shoulders beginning to shake. "I came back and they were bleeding and it was on..on _my_ mouth-"

He looked up with those great jade eyes and suddenly looked angry. "_Why_," He insisted, his fingers curling over the towel angrily. "Why am I a werewolf? When you and dad are angels and Leo isn't andit'snotfair!" He choked out, hiding under the towel. "Why?" He whimpered, just a little round lump under the white towel.

Cas placed a gentle hand on the lump where his back was. "I'm sorry. But if you were not these other things, you wouldn't be alive."

He choked out a sob and the towel trembled. "I'm scared." He whispered. "Cas, I'm scared."

Cas gathered the little lump into his arms, curling him up like a cacoon as just a little bit of his face could be seen. His wet black hair clung damp to the cottony material and his green eyes blinked up at his face.

"I know you're scared. But your brother and your father and I will always be here." He tucked away a damp strand that had fallen into his face.

"Promise?" The little kid all but squeaked.

"I promise. And we will find a cure for you." That was the first time he told him that he would find this cure, even though it took eleven years of bitter waiting to finally find it. "..And I found the kids you hurt, and I healed them. They don't even know it happened."

He nodded and climbed off Cas's lap, wrapping his towel tight around his shoulders. "New school soon, huh?" He whispered. Cas frowned a little but nodded. "Yes. New school."

Robbie began to waddle back into his room. " 's okay. The people at the old one were mean anyway."

Cas straightened up and met Dean's eyes just as he was closing the bedroom door, re-opening it for Robbie. "Oh! Coming through," Dean chuckled, finally closing the door quietly. He met Cas's eyes and sighed.

Robbie tucked into his pajamas and crawled into bed, but it felt too cold and empty, and it was black and he was scared. He ran across from the gap between their beds quickly, leaping up onto Leo's and curling up on the covers. "Hey? You awake?" Robbie whispered.

"Well, I am now." He whispered. Robbie scooted up and pulled himself under the covers, he began to shiver just a little as he was hit with flashbacks from this morning.

That circle of people around him, punches and hits coming from every direction, the sharp taste of iron biting in his mouth as they were all then splayed on the ground, scarlet leaking from gashes in their shirts and arms, and his brother standing there with wide blue eyes.

"I'm scared." Robbie said, covering his face.

The blankets rustled as Leo turned to look at him. "Dad told me that I can help you." Leo spoke up. "That I can bring you back."

Robbie closed his eyes. "What do you mean..?" But he understood a second later. When he was deep in blackness, floating, he only heard one voice. Leo had ran back to the group as fast as he could, trying to pry the wolf from one of the children's chests, his teeth snapping. "_Robbie! Stop!_"

Leo snuggled his face into his pillow. "I wonder why you could only hear _me_."

Robbie sighed and hugged the blankets tight to him. "I dunno. But..can you promise you'll always..bring me back?" He asked meekly.

"Yeah," Leo answered. "I promise."

Robbie swallowed back stinging tears. "Okay." He whispered, closing his eyes.

...

Dean didn't know where to start, as he looked at Cas from across the table. The angel reached out and took his hands silently, and Dean dipped his head in shame, still not knowing what to say as he sighed, squeezing his hands back.

"Look, I know you've only been home for around a month.." He started, still avoiding Cas's blue gaze.

"I can handle this." Cas spoke back quickly and confidently. "I can handle that he's different."

Dean hated that he felt this way, but he was almost ashamed. He wished, after all that waiting, Cas could come home to something a little easier. He ran a hand through his hair. "I just don't know how to..help him, Cas."

The angel squeezed his hand gently. "I don't either. But we can do this." Dean finally lifted his eyes to look into Cas's.

"Yeah," He replied quietly, and Cas reached out and held his cheek in his palm. "It won't be easy, but, we can. We can find the cure." Dean felt just a little bit better after everything that happened today, knowing that Cas was going to be by his side for everything.

"We should find a house by their new school." Cas said quietly.

Dean grinned. "All this talk about houses again, Cas?" He teased, coming forward and giving him a kiss. "You trying to pick up where we left off?"

The years rolled by easily after that. Dean wasn't alone anymore when the kids had times like these, when Dean didn't know what to do. It was so much easier with him around. Not to mention all the 'catching up' they were able to do.

All the events came and went like they were supposed to, good or bad. The twins got their anti-possession tattoos at twelve. The Gatherers grew more abundant and frequent, leading up until they were sixteen.

Leo was kidnapped by heaven, and Robbie ran away as a wolf once again. They stormed heaven to got him back, and they went back into the past for six months, leaving Cas and Dean alone. And they did nothing else during this time than search for the werewolf cure.

And when the two of them finally came home after going into the past, the fathers had good news.

They'd found it.


	25. Time Travel, Man

Dean slowly peeled his eyes open as he heard a small noise in the living room, but it was mainly the fact that he could feel Leo and Robbie's lights pulsing from somewhere in the house. He sighed in relief, smiling. He gently brought a groggy hand up and stroked the dark black head of hair lying on his chest, brushing away the soft locks from his forehead. "Cas," He said gently, quietly. His sleepless eyes opened easily, and he smiled at Dean.

Leo and Robbie's feet landed hard on the hardwood floor. "Uncle Sol, wait-!" Leo cried out as soon as he'd felt himself make impact with solid ground again, but it was too late. The teenager barely got a glimpse of him before he vanished again. Leo stood there in disbelief, his hand outstretched to the place the man had been just seconds ago. His eyes met with Robbie's, they looked sad and defeated.

"It wasn't your fault, Leo." Robbie insisted, and Leo looked away, tucking the outstretched arm in as if he were wounded. "Come on, _bug_, let's go see our parents." The two felt drained like they've never been before as their feet dragged toward the bedroom. They hadn't even put out the energy to time travel, Baby had carried both of them back to their current time, but sapping out all their energy to the then-dying Cas had drained them both.

"They're home?" Cas asked in a whisper, sighing in relief as well. The parents both heard loud bumps and turned their heads to look at the two teenagers who were lumbering tiredly into their room. Cas was resting with his head on Dean's chest, and they didn't get up as the boys came in, rather with exasperated sighs they both fell onto either sides of Dean and Cas, the bed bouncing as it settled.

"There are my little time traveling deviants," Dean laughed, pulling the teen who had fallen next to him, Robbie, into a short hug, planting a kiss on his forehead. "We missed you."

"How long were we gone?" Robbie asked in a tired voice, yawning. He snuggled his head into the pillows, and Dean looked into his face. When they were gone, he'd been so worried, knowing that they were walking into getting hurt. By _him_, no less. He looked at his familiar face that he'd seen for the first time almost eighteen years ago, and then he'd seen him grow up to this age afterwards. _Time travel, man_. Dean thought to himself and smiled. He was so grateful for what they did, saving him numerous times and when Baby had told him later that they'd saved Cas too.

"Same, almost six months." Dean replied. In those six months, him and Cas had been able to really focus on what was important, the cure for Robbie. _When are we going to tell him, Cas?_ He asked, he wasn't ready to tell him just yet. They still needed to do a few more corrections, it had to be absolutely perfect. There wasn't going to be any room for error, it just _had_ to work the first time.

_When we're sure it's perfect_. Cas replied simply, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning towards Leo.

"Why are you crying, Leoniel?" Cas asked quietly, gently as he reached out and smoothed the little tear away with his thumb. Leo wiped another one away, embarrassed, and he closed his eyes and answered.

"You scared me so much, Cas. I didn't know you were that sick, that you went that far for us. You almost _died_," He said softly, now covering his face with his hands. He felt gentle fingers playing with the hairs on his forehead, tickling him, and he laughed through his tears, slipping his hands off his face. Cas felt his chest rise when he looked at him, those bright, burning blue eyes that were like mirrors, that kind little face with the speckled map of freckles that Cas had memorized a long time ago.

"I know I almost did." He replied softly, stroking his hair and quickly dropping his hand to smooth away another tear that had slipped silently from his eye. "Robert, come here." He said quietly, and Robbie climbed over Dean, sandwiching his tall body inbetween the two of them. Cas wrapped his arms around both of them, closing his eyes and breathing in.

"I would do it all again. I would do it everyday if I needed to." Leo pressed his lips together as tears sparkled in his eyes, he silently pulled Cas into a strong hug, burying his face into his neck, as Robbie closed his eyes and rested his cheek on his shoulder. Cas laughed lightly, rubbing Leo's back. "I love both of you so much. I don't regret what I had to do for you, I never have." Leo finally pulled away, finally smiling through his tears, Robbie keeping his cheek pressed to him.

"You know Rob, I was thinking about something you said to me all those years ago. You told me that heaven didn't want you, you thought you were an experiment gone wrong?" Dean spoke up, and Robbie rolled to face him, his eyes downcast, about to say something but Dean quickly interrupted him. "That's bullshit, Robbie. I was thinking so much about it... do you remember when Leo got kidnapped, what happened?" Robbie did remember, almost a little too clearly. He hated that he could never forget the day he wasn't able to protect his brother, when he felt like he'd failed him.

He remembered seeing Dean and Cas on that tiny television screen, tied up and hanging their heads, their bodies covered with wounds and gashes. "If you ever want to see them again..." The woman had threatened, as someone dragged a blade down Dean's arm, as he tried to bite back a scream. "Leo, Robbie, listen, don't do this! I can figure things out-" He was quickly silenced by a rough punch, then a gag was stuffed in his mouth. Cas still hadn't raised his head, he looked like he was unconsious. Of course in retrospect these two had obviously been shapeshifter Gemlings just playing them, but at the time it had been so real. They didn't think they'd torture one of their own like that, and the way they reacted had seemed so real...

Next thing Robbie remembered was lying flat on his back. His eyes had flown open, and he looked into the clear blue sky as he registered the taste of iron on his tongue and the smell of blood overwhelmed his senses. He scrambled to stand, and he collapsed onto his hands and knees, his fingers were tinged with red, blood was collected under his fingernails. He wiped his mouth of blood with the back of his hand as he tried to slow his breathing, his arms shaking.

"_Leo!"_ He yelled at the top of his lungs, squeezing his eyes shut with pain as he bellowed. "_Leo, where are you?!"_

He stood up shakily, and when he raised his eyes, panting, he was hit with the image of close to thirty dead angels, black painting the ground all around him, deep gouges from their bodies in a bloody massacure. He'd wheezed, spat more blood from his mouth and wiped it. Did he do this? He didn't have time to contemplate as panic quickly overrode his system. He'd failed, he let him take his brother away, and now he was here among this mess of bodies, utterly alone.

There was the sound of more wings, and Robbie whipped around, feeling like he might turn again, but he was quickly seized by his arms by Dean and Cas as he started to drop to his knees, his head swimming.

"What happened? Where the hell is Leo?" Dean demanded, and Robbie felt lightheaded again as he struggled to breathe, the bloody scent making him feel nauseous. Dean shook his shoulder, and he struggled to keep his eyelids open.

"He's gone...they took him.." He felt panic well up in his chest again, he breathed raspily as he felt a growl starting at the bottom of his lungs, deep in his chest.

"Why? Robert, who took him?" Castiel questioned him quickly, and Robbie suddenly felt overwhelmingly frustrated and hurt.

"Look, I don't know! I can't remember! I think I got triggered and went apeshit when I was in IV...fuck, dad, I don't remember! Where did they take him? Where did they take my brother?!" He couldn't help it as he began to feel hairs sticking up on the back of his neck, a strange itching sensation as long, wolfish hairs began to sprout down his spine and a growl was starting to rip up his throat. His body shuddered as he tried to suppress it, but he knew it was happening too fast to stop it now.

"They took him back to the Jeweler's. The Gemling Garrison." Cas spoke up, and Robbie shivered violently, from the news and trying to hold himself back. "We might...we might not get him back for a long time."

Robbie stumbled backwards away from them, feeling his skin was too tight as his muscles were bunched and burned to expand and his bones felt like they were creaking, ready to explode and elongate. He covered his eyes with his arm, which was now covered in short, light grey hairs.

"Get away from me." He threatened in a low voice, stumbling farther backwards. "Shit, Rob, are you hurt?" Dean asked, stepping forward. Robbie felt afraid; surprisingly, he wasn't physically injured, he didn't even have a stratch. It was _always_ a combination of pain and panic that triggered him, not just one.

"Breathe, Bobby. We're going to get him back, come on, we're going home." Dean said gently, approaching him with his arms spread, as if he were a wild animal. "Come on, Rob. You can fight it, you can do this."

He tried to breathe quickly in and out, but it was already snowballing too fast to stop now. He panted heavily, trying to speak up while he still could, he knew he didn't have much time. "Have Leo-have Leo find me. I can't-come back by myself-dad, I'm sor-" He felt his mind slingshot quickly to the deepest parts of his brain as he vaguely could tell that his body had ripped into his wolfish form, he only got wavers of realization of touch, he could tell he was standing and not running, but he had no visuals, no hearing or smell or taste, as he zoomed in and out of awareness of his own body. He vaguely registered that he was running now, getting away, floating in nothingness as he didn't have to think about his captured brother anymore.

"Robbie, it was never that heaven didn't want you. You were too badass to ever even catch. Thirty angels, Robbie, and not even a scratch? Do you remember that day I told you were going to be very powerful? Well, this is it." Dean explained his findings with bright eyes, everything made sense now.

"But...are you saying I killed all those angels? _How_? I don't have a blade, dad." Robbie said, confused. In fact, now that he thought about it, the wounds on those angels had seemed highly animalistic. But if he had attacked them, why would that kill them?

"We think you do, but it exists in your other form. It would make sense, our blades are part of ourselves, it probably is a part of you when you're a wolf. You might get it in your human form when you're cured." Cas spoke up softly.

"Yeah. Maybe." Robbie replied bitterly, quickly spitting out the words so they could change the subject as soon as possible, the hurt coming through his words.

"Robert." Cas spoke up again, something in his tone was very serious and different than then the tone he'd used before. " I said _when you're cured_."

Robbie looked at him, confused, and he was met with a smiling face. He scrambled to sit up, leaning on his elbow as he propped himself up, again studying his face. "You're shitting me. You're seriously shitting me." He said in disbelief, his whole body tensed, ready to recieve the news he'd been waiting to hear his whole life.

"We think we found it, Robbie. I think we found the cure." Dean said, smiling as he said the words he'd been waiting to say for years and years. Robbie let bit back a sob, and he surged forward and hugged Dean tightly, his chest hiccuping slightly with silent sobs. He rubbed his back and kissed his hair, smiling at he looked down at him.

"It's not ready just yet, there's another full moon in six days. But I promise that's going to be the very last one, Robbie. Ever." Dean explained, rubbing his back again as he felt tears wicking into his shirt. There was a silence as he tried to mask his sounds, but a happy little noise slipped out with his sob, and he gripped even tighter to Dean.

"I know, Leoniel. It's wonderful, isn't it?" Cas spoke up, and Leo was silently hugging onto Cas as well. Next thing he knew, Cas had a small white cat curled tightly to his chest, his purring vibrating loudly into the air. Cas chuckled and gently stroked his white fur, Leo knew this was Cas's favorite form of his. Robbie finally spoke up, whispering so that they couldn't hear the water in his voice. "Thank you. Thank you so much." He whispered, closing his eyes and feeling the tears slip from under his eyelids.

"I love you, Robbie. You're my little baby, I'll do anything for you." Dean voiced, and Robbie laughed wetly, pushing his face in embarassment into his clothes. "Stop making me cry." He laughed with tears in his throat, his voice wavering. "I'm not a baby. I'm a badass who couldn't be caught by all of heaven, huh?" Dean laughed this time, and Robbie pulled away, dragging the back of his hand across his eyes, sitting up and sitting on his knees, looking at both of them in succession, relief pouring from his eyes.

"I love you, dad. I love you, Cas." He said, hiccuping again and hiding his face in his hands. Dean patted his knee, and he slid his hands from his face and smiled, sighing happily as his hands hit his lap with a faint smack, he looked speechless. "It's not like we've cured you yet, Rob." Dean joked, and Robbie blushed and his hands covered his mouth, he closed his eyes and breathed in.

"Thank you," he whispered, wiping away a tear as it slipped from his eye again. Leo quickly got up and tackled Robbie into a hug, almost throwing both of them off the edge of the bed as they leaned close to falling off. Leo made little "m-m-m-M!" sound effects as he rocked him jerkily from side to side, pulling quickly away and slap-patting his cheek. "I knew they were gonna do it, RJ, ya dumb idiot!" He scolded him happily, pulling him into another tight hug before ripping away and sliding from the bed, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Now get off to bed, you two. It's late and you've had a long trip, you get to sleep in your own beds tonight. I'll see you in the morning." Dean said happily, jokingly shooing them away. He was so relieved they'd finally come back, that he wouldn't have to stare at empty spaces where their sons should have been anymore. And Robbie had been so happy, happier than he'd seen him in a long time.

"Ah ah ah, come on Bobby! You're sleeping in your own bed tonight!" Dean laughed, gently rolling his son's shoulder as he had closed his eyes and snuggled down next to him as if he was going to fall asleep. Robbie quickly folded his eyes open, and Dean was met with a laughing light green. He had been joking about staying and sleeping there, the news had put him in a bubbly and ecstatic mood.

"I missed you, dad." He said, and Dean pulled him into a hug. Robbie never quite expressed himself as openly as Leo did, and just saying this meant much more than just the words. "You too, kid."

"Just glad I'm back. You sure were an ass then," Robbie shot back, clambering quickly up so that Dean couldn't reach him to give him a light playful smack. "I'm gonna sick _your_ kids on you before they're born and see how _you_ like it, you little...!" Dean laughed in response, and Robbie stuck his tongue out at him as he slipped from the bed.

Cas was grinning, resettling himself back on Dean's shoulder. He saw so much of Dean in Robbie, and himself in Leo, but it wasn't always a contrast, he saw a lot of mixing happening too. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, enjoying the rest that was better now that it came with relief, from having his sons back and being able to tell him the news. He'd been so tired lately, and he didn't know why.

"I love you. Now, go to sleep, punk. And don't forget to brush!" Dean shot out happily, shooing him away and turning toward Cas. He loved seeing them back here were they belonged. He smiled and rested his chin on Cas's head.

"The little birds are back in the nest, huh Cas?" He asked lovingly, tipping his head down to give him a quick peck before lying back and closing his eyes. "I missed them immeasurably." Cas answered quietly, and as he closed his eyes he felt funny, a little light-headed. He squeezed his eyes shut and coughed, resettling onto Dean's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, alarmed, his chest tensing up underneath his cheek. "I'm fine. Something with my vessel, that's all." Cas replied quietly. He had no idea why he'd suddenly needed to cough.

"Goodnight, Dean." He whispered, exhaling happily. "'Night, Cas." He replied quickly, Cas felt a little kiss press on his hair before the pillows rustled and Dean was falling back asleep.

Castiel did what he usually did, watch Dean's dreams with him, but he was getting distracted this time. He felt a strange sensation, something that brought him memories of a long time ago, much like a smell does. His eyes suddenly flew open and he scrambled to get out of bed, sprinting to the bathroom and barely making it to the toilet, fierce nausea twisting his stomach as he hacked, a small spill of blood trickled from his throat and dripped into the toilet water, swirling the white with red. Cas looked down in disbelief, his arms straightened as he gripped onto the sides of the bowl, watching as the red swirled in smoky tendrils, mixing into the clear water. No, it just wasn't possible.

"Cas!" Dean cried out, tearing to the bathroom and reaching out to hold his shoulders firmly. His eyes were alight with fear, his heart was pounding. "Cas, what's wrong? What the hell happened?" He fired out, confused as Cas looked to the bloody water. "Cas?" As he watched, Cas turned to look at him, breaking into a smile and bringing a loving hand up to his chest. He knew what it was now, the glow he felt.

Dean understood right away, he looked terrified. "Cas, we-!" He started, feeling fear climbing into his chest. Cas looked down at his hand serenely, he understood now.

"There...Cas, there's another one?" Dean tripped over his words, feeling his heart give a large squeeze of fear. He wasn't quite sure how all this worked, but he knew he hadn't bonded again. Having twin boys who were not-so-normal was already enough of a handful.

"Cas-you can't." Dean quickly shot back. "I can't risk this. I just can't lose you again." He said in a broken voice, a tear slipping from his eye. He didn't want to lose his child, but if it was between her and Cas...

Cas looked confused, before a look of realization melted onto his face. "Dean, no. It's going to be different this time. Her grace is completely pure." He said, reaching up and flushing the toilet. "She was not effected by the treatments whatsoever. She has no potential for any kind of danger to my health."

Dean brought his eyebrows together, finally feeling just a little bit of excitement start to fight through his initial terror. "Really?" He asked quietly, feeling an overwhelming bought of happiness as he saw Cas's face was lit up, nodding. Dean surged forward and wrapped his arms around him, feeling tears spill from his eyes. He kissed him, pulled away and saw his twinkling blue eyes, and kissed him again, a laugh bubbling from Cas's mouth under his lips.

He pulled him upward and carried him back to their bed, feeling his chest rise as he thought about what this meant. He _didn't_ kill her all those years ago. Along with his boys that he loved so much...a little girl. He collapsed both of them down, hugging tightly to him as they had just the tips of their noses touching. "A baby girl?" Dean whispered in disbelief, and Cas nodded, raising his blue eyes to look up at him. "Are you _sure_ you'll be okay?" Dean insisted again, squeezing his shoulders. He still couldn't shake that fear that was gripping his insides tightly.

"Yes, Dean. And I think you might be old enough to help." He said quietly, rubbing the little hot patch of skin in little circles again as if she could feel it. Dean brought his eyebrows together, he wasn't sure if he meant what he thought he meant.

"Do you mean...?" He spoke up quietly, finally realizing. "Only for a few hours, I don't want you to be overwhelmed." Cas took his arm gently, and Dean let him lead his limb as he kept a flustered expresssion on his face. His hand straightened out and his fingers pressed, outstretched, over the hot skin, the very tips beginning to glow a bright white, spreading down to his palm, until he finally felt the bright hot light begin to melt into his hand, passing into his lower arm and moving up his arm, settling and nuzzling into his chest.

"Oh, my god." He breathed, feeling the warm light move up and down as he moved his ribs to breathe. He now understood what Cas had meant when he'd said it felt like a glow; the happy warmth pulsed through his chest, he felt like he was glowing with it. Cas looked at him with concern as he breathed deeply in and out, just feeling the light rise and fall. "Are you okay?" He asked, taking his hand and feeling the hot skin on his chest. "I can take her back."

"No, I'm okay. Just...wow." He said, breathless, looking into Cas's eyes, which were alight with happiness. "See? Nothing to worry about, right?" He asked, dragging his fingers along the warm skin, resting his head next to it and closing his eyes. "Can you feel the little bit of human?"

Dean concentrated and tried to focus on the light, he could tell something about it felt a little less than angel. Dean nodded and Cas ran his two fingers over the hot skin again, closing his eyes. He looked so happy- he hadn't murdered his own child as he'd previously believed. "How long until, you know..?" Dean asked, feeling a bought of excitement overwhelm him.

"I don't know. It could be anywhere from the full year to a few months, I can't tell." He answered, and he brought himself to lie on top of the hot spot, wrapping his arms around Dean. "I can be here this time, Dean. I won't have to leave you." He said happily, running his fingers through Dean's hair. "I know." He whispered back, putting his hand on his cheek and gently smoothing his thumb over his the soft skin, that warm, lovely glowing feeling in his chest was making him feel extremely happy. But just then, a thought occured to him and he felt his stomach go into a little knot.

"Cas-what are we going to tell the boys?" He asked, reaching in and feeling that tiny bit of human in the light, but nothing else, no other creature parts. "If she's normal, I mean mostly... what are they going to think? What if they feel bad that they had to be the way they are? I don't want them to feel like experiments..." He frowned, rubbing the little light like Cas had been doing.

"They're going to understand, Dean. I promise. We'll tell them tommorrow." He settled down next to him, as Dean closed his eyes, trying to let himself be reassured, but he still felt a little worried as he went to fall back asleep, the warm glow was filling him up, making him cozy and sleepy as he easily fell back to sleep.

...

When he woke up the next morning, he felt that the light had been taken back by Cas again, as he sat up and rubbed his face. He smelled breakfast cooking in the kitchen, and he smiled and set out, he felt strangely hollow as he went out into the kitchen. He saw Leo and Robbie eating at the table, talking happily about their trip to each other and Cas. "Mornin' boys," Dean said cheerily, quickly rubbing their heads in succession as he passed them, Robbie let out a 'hey!' as the toast he was about to take a bite out of booped his nose. Dean chuckled, looping and sitting next to Cas.

"I'm glad you look so healthy, Cas." Robbie said, bringing a forkfull of eggs into his mouth. "Um-hmm!" Leo agreed with his full mouth. "You forget that was seventeen years ago, Robert. I'm fine now." Cas beamed, and Dean could tell that the little light he carried was making him especially happy.

Leo and Robbie probably could tell that something special was going to happen, they never had breakfast just for normal occasions. Dean came and sat down next to Cas, bringing his hand up and entwining it with his wordlessly on the table. They exchanged glances and everything went quiet.

Leo noticed that they had grown quiet and cocked his head to the side. "What's going on?" He asked, confused, dropping his fork and looking at them. Cas looked at Dean, raising his eyebrows. Dean went to speak up, clearing his throat and squeezing Cas's hand.

"Robbie, Leo, uh...ehem...we need to tell you something that we've never told you before. When you where...uh...when we first...um...bonded-"

Robbie raised his eyebrows, skeptical. "If this is some kind of freaky angel sex talk, I am _so_ out." He joked, exchanging a glance with Leo and setting down his fork. Leo laughed and covered his mouth, trying to keep it quiet as his eyes crinkled upward and the blue pools were laughing.

"No, Robbie, Jesus, what I'm trying to say is.." He replied flusteredly, embarrassed as pink creeped onto his cheeks. Cas squeezed his hand, as if to say he appreciated that he'd tried. He spoke up quietly, looking from their face to face.

"Dean and I were not prepared when we had you. And now..I've found I'm carrying another fledgling. A girl." He instinctively he brought his hand up to reassure himself and rub the hot skin on his chest. Robbie brought his eyebrows together, Leo looked extremely confused.

"Cas, dad, is it there...?" Robbie started, and Leo spoke up over him. "We're getting a little sister?" He asked, his eyebrows lilting up, he hoped that it was true.

"But...Cas! Are you going to be okay? Last time, I mean, with us-" Leo sputtered, his eyes lit up with fear, as he remembered what he'd just come back from.

"He's going to be fine. That's the other thing we needed to tell you. She's not...she's not like you were." Dean spoke up quietly, smoothing down Cas's dark hair.

"What do you mean?" Robbie asked, tightening his fists together. Even though they said it was going to be okay, he was still extremely worried. He just couldn't shake those images of when he'd been so frail, when he'd had stubs for wings.

"She's only human and angel. And I don't want you to feel bad that-" He sighed when he saw their expressions, they were confused. "That you weren't, that you are the way you are. It wasn't your fault, and I don't want you to feel sad that-"

"Are you kidding? I'm glad that's all she is! I'd never want anything bad for our sister!" Leo spoke up, smiling as he said the last few words. He felt so excited.

"Me too, dad." Robbie spoke up, and he finally broke into a smile. "And I think...do you think I'll be better by the time she's born?" He asked quietly, wringing his hands as Leo went and wrapped him into a hug, he was so excited that he would finally be cured.

"We think so. Robbie...we think that we'll have it soon. Really soon. Within the month." Dean said, feeling his chest rise as he said the words. Robbie's hands flew to his mouth, and he breathed in deeply, shutting his eyes. "Oh my god...dad, really?" He whispered. Leo rubbed his back, hugging him tightly. "It's all gonna be over, RJ."

"Come here, both of you." Dean said, and they both stood up quickly, their chairs sqeaking against the floor as they came onto either side of Dean and Cas, pulling them both into a hug. "Now, we're going to have to make some changes around here. This is what we're going to do- we're going to build her a new bedroom, and before that it can be the saferoom for Robbie when he's being cured. Sound like a good idea?"

"Hell yes." Robbie said through his tears, wrapping his arms around Cas's back and kissing his head and doing the same thing to Dean. He headed off to his room to get changed out of his nightshirt, beaming. Leo squeezed himself into Dean's lap, and he laughed. "You're getting too big to do this anymore, bug."

"When is she coming? Do you have a name for her yet?" He asked, bringing his hands to his chest. "Me and Robbie are going to be the best big brothers in the world. We'll protect her a lot because she's not a Gemling like us, she's just going to be a little flower." Dean didn't have the heart to tell him that she _was_ still angel and was still going to be pretty strong. "I will personally beat up any little dick who tries to break her heart." Dean laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't get so ahead of yourself there, Lee." He chuckled, and Leo slipped from his lap and looked at the two of them.

"Should we start building the room today?" He asked, and Dean nodded. "Go get your brother. We need to start getting ready."

...

That night, Dean slipped into bed and couldn't wait to help, to carry his daughter again. Cas let him press his hand to his chest right when he'd settled down, and Dean sighed as he let the pulsating, warm glow fill him once again.

"Leoniel was right, Dean. We should name her soon." Cas spoke up quietly, tapping his fingers along the warm skin. "I hope you have an idea. I never really thought about a female name."

Dean sighed and closed his eyes, feeling the light rise and fall. "Mary." He said, smiling as he said it. He loved that name. "You want the middle name, Cas?" He just shook his head, smiling. "I'll love whatever name you choose." The perfect name just came to him, and he felt happy as it fell from his lips.

"Mary Ellen. Mary Ellen Winchester." He sighed happily and rubbed the little star. "I can't wait to meet her, Cas." He whispered, feeling sleepy again with all this excess warmth. He couldn't believe that his life was turning out so perfect; he had his wonderful teenagers, and he loved them even more than himself even though they were so different. Now, his little daughter on the way was sitting right above his heart, he felt her when he breathed, safe and secure.

"I know that we already have teenagers and it's a little late for a newborn, but it's all going to even out. With our lifespans, Dean, they really will end up being triplets." Cas explained quietly, he knew Dean was almost nodding off to sleep. Dean smiled and let himself be filled with the warmth. "Goodnight, Cas." He pressed his lips to the top of his head and settled back on his pillows once again.

"Goodnight, Dean."

...

"I'm not tired, Lee. You?" Robbie asked, looking at his brother as they went back into their room that night. Even though they'd both been working hard buying supplies and starting to build the new room, they didn't want to go to sleep just yet. Leo shook his head as they exchanged glances, and went to their two beds, right away stripping away the blankets and sheets and tossing the pillows into the little gap between their beds. "We haven't done this in a damn long time, huh?" Robbie laughed, snatching a flashlight from their desk and crawling underneath the sheets Leo had draped across the beds, as he settled his back onto the mound of pillows and blankets and clicking on the flashlight, Leo crawled in after him and propped his back on the bed, resting his face on his fists as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

"You're really gonna get cured, RJ. God, I can't believe it." He said quietly, shock still in his voice. Robbie stared at the flashlight, smiling brightly and avoiding Leo's eyes. "I know. I almost can't believe it either." He slid his hand up his face and ran his fingers through his pitch black hair, laughing happily. "Jesus, it feels good knowing though."

"I'm glad we're back. The world wasn't a very fun place before we were born." Leo said, smiling. "Yeah, we basically changed the world for the better because we're so damn awesome, huh?" Robbie joked, and Leo rolled his eyes. He licked his lips and spoke up again. "I missed dad and Cas."

"Yeah. Me too." Robbie spoke up, and he felt his face fall as he felt a little sad again thinking about who else he missed. "I miss him a lot, Leo. I can't believe that was the last time we're ever gonna see him." He said quietly, bringing his legs up to hug his knees.

"I know, me too. I think it's good we didn't tell him he died. No one likes to hear they're going to die." Leo replied, looking off to the side. "Yeah, it was better that way. At least we got to say goodbye, that he got to tell us he loved us." Robbie answered, feeling tears springing to his eyes when he thought about it. "Yeah, I'm glad he got to say that too." Leo whispered, bringing his knees in to hug as well. "I sure am going to miss Uncle Sol."

He closed his eyes as memories of that day tumbled into his mind, one of the many days he really preferred not to think about, the day that his family raided and he was rescued from that awful training program in heaven.

It had been the worst moment of his life as he struggled to try and get away from the Jeweler, his small black wings flapping helplessly as he tried to escape his grasp, but he felt the round object, the Pearl, press harshly to his teeth, force past them and his nose was pinched shut. In a panic, his throat automatically swallowed.

_No_. Leo collapsed to the ground, already feeling the foreign substance peeling out and absorbing into his grace, it was ice-cold and extremely uncomfortable. He felt a rush of tears come to his eyes, this was it. He'd never be Leo ever again.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was-" A shrill siren interrupted him, and he whipped his head to look behind him as red lights flashed. The rest was a blur as his family ripped through the security, and suddenly he was save in someone's arms. He opened his tear-filled eyes and saw Dean's face staring back at him, speckled with flecks of blood. "Dad, the Pearl..." He said shakily, and he felt a sharp tug behind his belly button as Dean moved his hand across his body, finally he coughed and retched, the Pearl dripping from his lips with a little bit of bile. He looked at it in shock on the floor; it was smaller than when it had gone in, part of it was already inside of him.

He let himself be flown away, and they landed somewhere away from that awful place. Dean held Leo close, sitting outside the house as he flew back home. God, he was so bony and light. "Hi, Leo baby." He said tearfully, sweeping a bit of blood from his cheek. Leo folded open his tired blue eyes and pressed his cheek into Dean's chest. "Hi, dad." He whispered hoarsely, smiling just a tiny bit. He knew he was going to come and rescue him, his dad would go to the ends of the earth for him, and that made him happy. Dean stroked his hair and kept him tight in his arms, but looked up when something didn't feel quite right. He saw Cas kneeling there, not moving as he sat silently, Dean saw long legs bent to the side and just as Cas held someone, and Sam pressed close to him also, holding his arm over Cas's shoulder and the legs were on Sam's lap.

Dean gasped as his bond with Baby began to fade rapidly, shooting ripping pains through his chest. The little piece inside him was starting to dim quickly, and Dean held Leo close as he carried the light-as-a-feather kid with him in his arms as he strode up to Cas and the person he was holding, Baby.

"Dean." Cas said hollowly, holding Baby securely by the small of his back and by his shoulders as he had him curled into his chest. Sam was completely silent as he held him softly by his legs, keeping his arm around Cas. Dean dropped in front of them, panic filling his chest as he watched Baby's chest shallowly rise and fall, it was blooming with dark red blood as the several gashes leaked both red and swirling silver, wicking into his clothes as the excess dripped down the side. Light was streaming from his wounds, and Dean felt another painful rip as the small piece inside contracted, shrinking, fading away.

"Aw hell...Baby, no, Jesus...don't do this to me, Baby, goddammit!" Dean felt tears start to spill from his eyes, a mixture of physical and mental pain. Baby slowly opened his familiar greyish-blue eyes, they looked dull and exhausted already as he struggled to breathe.

Dean remembered the first time he looked into those eyes, staring at him and laughing with their steely light as he sat across from him at the diner he'd gone to after he'd crawled out of his grave. They were determined as he'd insisted he would do anything for the babies and Cas, they had been dull as the steely blue looked out at him when the Leviathan blood drew pitch black branches on his cheek, or the light orbs could be pouring with sadness as he explained that he'd had a twin brother who died so horribly. They could also be so serene, like when he smoked his cigarettes and drove the car he'd spent fifty years in, or playful and happy like when he talked and played with his long-awaited nephews.

"You got him back?" Baby wheezed, sounding childish and afraid. Dean reached out and stroked his cheek, pushing his hair from his forehead. "Yeah, Baby, we got him back. He's right here, and you're going to be here to see him get better, you're going to be here when Robbie comes back too." Dean insisted strongly, as if that could stop him from leaving, from dying.

"No, Dean. End of the road, kiddo." Baby wheezed as Cas held him tightly, hanging his head as he felt his brother he'd had for the longest time now start to waver and slip away inside.

"Don't go, Baby, please! I need you! Please," Dean sobbed, draining his healing energy into him through his palm that cupped his face, but he knew it was too late, his grace was already slipping away, fading until it would be a gaping hole in all of their chests.

"You don't need a guardian anymore, Dean. You can take care of yourself now, you put me out of a job." He said quietly with almost a smile, speaking barely above a whisper as he melted to Cas's arms, shutting his eyes. "Yes, I do need you! Stop dying, Baby! You're my brother and I love you!" Dean burst through his tears, his hand on his cheek beginning to shake as the light inside him was almost completely gone, pains from the absence pinching his grace painfully.

Baby weakly smiled, struggling to speak for what seemed like the last time."Take care of yourself, Dean, and all these little asshats too. Can you do that for me?" He whispered.

"Yeah, Bay, I can do that." Dean said hoarsely, running his thumb along his cheek. Those grey-blue eyes suddenly looked so young, so bright and afraid. A tear dripped quickly from Dean's cheek, and Baby reached up weakly and wiped it away.

"It's _okay_, Deano." He whispered, and Dean took Baby's hand and ran his thumb over the back of it. He suddenly saw himself through Baby's eyes, he didn't think of him as an adult at all, but his default for him was a little kid. The piece of grace inside imploded, shrinking, disappearing completely. His canary-feathered wings spilled out from his back, and a blazing orange fire burst to ignite his bright yellow wings, flaring brightly for just a second before burning out, black wingprints charcoaled on the ground. The piece of grace had completely vanished, leaving everyone there was a painful, gaping void. Cas dipped his head and rested his cheek on the matching pitch hair, curling the body even closer to his chest as he grieved silently for his little brother.

Cas didn't move even a half an hour later as Dean and Sam got up, carrying Leo into the house to try and heal him. He stayed curled around Baby, unmoving as tears slipped down his cheeks and fell into his tousled black locks. "Thank you, Soloviel. For everything you've done for me, for the people I love, our family. I don't care what heaven said, I think you were the best guardian angel, Sol." He whispered, burying his nose in the lifeless hair and kissing it. "Maybe you're out there somewhere with Mirael. I hope he's happy when he sees you again."

Cas felt into his grace, the two holes he was supposed to feel with two deaths had only made one, the one angel who lived in two bodies. He remembered seeing them together for the last time, Mirael had looked like hell as he stuggled to sustain the nephilim, he'd had four of them and didn't stand a chance in hell, though Baby tried. Cas hadn't realized for a long time that he was basically putting him through that again. God, he'd been so devastated when his brother died. Still, he recovered and never lost that sense of family that had always defined him. "Goodbye, Baby."

They held a traditional hunter's funeral for him that night. Dean stepped back into the twin's room, the first time he'd disturbed them that day. Robbie was curled protectively in a C around Leo, hugging his neck and whispering into his ear, Leo was straightened out like an I as he looked like his body had returned to health, but mentally he was still sick. "We can't be here by ourselves when they go raid heaven again, Lee. We can't let anyone else die." Robbie said quietly into his ear, an Leo nodded quietly. "We should go into the past, where none of this happens yet. We'd be safe there." He answered quietly. "That was Uncle Sol's last wish for us, remember? We have to save Cas. And we could help dad so it's easier for him before we're born."

"I don't care where we go, I just need you to be safe." Robbie answered, his body shuddered slightly when he thought about how he'd failed to protect him last time, how long he'd spent as a wolf by himself. "Maybe the Pearl won't even work on you back there." Robbie knew he hadn't taken the whole thing, but sometimes Leo still felt the pull, and when he resisted it hurt him, blood leaking from his eyes and streaming from his nose. It scared Robbie to death.

"Okay, RJ." Leo answered quietly, child-like, and Robbie pulled himself even tighter. God, they'd come so close to losing him forever.

"Leo, Robbie. We're holding the funeral outside if you want to come." Dean spoke up quietly, leaning on the doorpost as he looked in and saw them slowly get up, slipping sadly off the bed.

The five of them stood in a straight line, the fire glow reflecting in their eyes as they stared at the burning body on the pyre. Cas was whispering a few words in Enochian before stepping back and letting Dean wrap his arms around his shoulders. It was the hardest for Cas, who had known him for thousands of years compared to their forty or so.

"Wanna know something?" Sam asked, rubbing one of his nephews shoulders sadly. "When you two were first born, he actually went and _robbed a bank _so that we'd have enough money for an apartment." He recalled, and Leo laughed waterily and dragged his hand across his eyes.

"He was one of the best people I'll probably ever meet. He did so much for us." Dean spoke up, holding Cas and Sam closely. "Without him, I wouldn't have half the people here. Hell, I wouldn't have anyone here."

"He's probably out there somewhere getting a kick out of how much we're crying over him," Robbie laughed wetly, shutting his eyes.

"He's probably driving an Impala, with the music blasting and a cigarette in his mouth." Sam finished, smiling and shutting his eyes. The five of them shut their eyes, picturing that perfect image that Sam had painted. "Thank you, Baby. For everything." Dean spoke up quietly, and they were all silent for the whole rest of the time, the crackling of the flame was the only sound as the little family looked on.

Robbie went and rubbed Leo's shoulder, he missed him too. "You know, we lost one family member but we're getting another one soon." Robbie spoke up quietly, and Leo was glad as he was feeling a little happy again when he thought about his little sister and not the fact that his Uncle Sol had died getting him back, he hated that he felt like it was his fault.

"Yeah. I can't wait to meet her." Leo agreed. "It's so weird that we have a triplet. Robbie-do you think she's going to be our friend?" He asked quietly, and Robbie smiled. "Dur. She won't escape us even if she tries." This had Leo chuckling as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

"Who do you think she's going to be more like? You or me?"

"I don't know." Robbie replied, that was a good question, him and Leo were so different. "Maybe it'll just be different, cuz she's a girl."

"Yeah. She better not be all prissy and shit. That would suck."

"Oh, please! In this family? That's like looking for gold in a silver mine. I guarantee she'll be a tough little cookie." Robbie laughed, lying down and settling his head on a pillow. "Let's get some sleep, Lee. We got some work cut out for us tommorow."

"I'm glad they found the cure, RJ." Leo spoke up as he lay down too. "Even if they didn't, or if it doesn't work, I'm always gonna be your best friend, okay?"

"I already knew that, ya dumbshit." Robbie replied with a chuckle, clicking off the flashlight. "I'm not a dumbshit, you asshead!" Leo replied jokingly, pouncing on him as a tiger and curling up around him shoulders, his purr rumbling through his throat.

_Night, RJ._

"Night."

...

Robbie's eyes flew open as he registered the smell of blood. His hands flew to the flashlight, he quickly clicked it on. The tiger around his shoulders had vanished, and Leo was struggling next to him, his chest squeezing and rising as Leo coughed, tiny splots of red flicked onto the pillows.

"Shit, Leo! What is it? What hurts?" Robbie shot out, quickly gripping his shoulder and turning Leo towards him, he gasped when he saw blood was trickling from his eye as he coughed again. "Is it the Pearl again? Do you need me to get dad?"

"No, RJ, I'm fine." He coughed again and tried to rub the blood from his eye, but he smeared it instead. Robbie felt his face grow pale. "I'm getting our parents."

"No. Stop, really, I'm fine. It's almost over anyway." He said quietly, reaching out and stopping him. "I never absorbed enough to really give in. You know that." He coughed for the last time, smearing the blood from his face again. He groaned and leaned onto Robbie, letting his forehead drop onto his shoulder. "It feels funny." He said, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply.

"I know. I'm sorry, Leo. I'm sorry I didn't protect you." He said sadly, softly placing a hand over his shoulder blades. "You shouldn't have lied to dad when we went back, saying you got out of taking that pill. You should have just told him the truth."

"I didn't want him to worry for all those years. It's not _that_ bad, Robbie. I can resist it." He closed his eyes and tried to ignore that icky feeling he got in his chest as the tiny amount of controlling substance in the pill tried to control his grace with the tiny, weak branches it had, when he got these fits the little tendrils squeezed deep into his grace, feeling like a dozen straw-sized anacondas. He didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if his dad hadn't gotten to him on time.

"What happened this time?" Robbie asked quietly, meeting Leo's eyes as he straightened up again. Leo blinked, he looked exhausted and afraid, finally feeling the small branches start to loosen their grip and unwind again. "I think...the best way I can describe it is a mass recall." He looked confused, he was trying to figure it out. "I've never felt anything like it before. I don't know what it means."

"You _sure_ you're okay now?" Robbie asked, looking him up and down as he held him by the shoulders, inspecting him thoroghly.

"Yeah. It stopped, I promise." He tried to muster a smile. "See? Nothing to worry about." Robbie rolled his eyes and patted his cheek, starting to lay down again. "Leo, you child."

Leo looked into Robbie's face with tired eyes, starting to lay down next to him again. "It wasn't your fault they took me, Rob. You already fought off, like, thirty of them. You were so strong you didn't even have a scratch, I _know_ you tried your hardest when you were in IV. They wouldn't have stopped."

Robbie rolled over onto his stomach and hugged a pillow to his chest."Tell you what. If you try and stop blaming yourself for Uncle Sol, I'll try to stop blaming myself for you. Deal?" Robbie piped up as Leo wiped his face again from just a tiny smear of blood.

"Okay." He whispered, closing his eyes. "We should try and keep a postitive attitude, you know, so that it'll rub off on our little sister."

Robbie smiled. Leo just couldn't stop bringing it up, could he? "Agreed. Can't wait to meet her, Lee. Us two; we're gonna be the best big brothers ever."

"That's what I said!" Leo said happily, even though he was tired. "Life ain't always perfect, that's for damn sure. But sometimes...some things it throws at us surprise me. Our lives are perfectly imperfect." He smiled and turned away, clicking off the flashlight. "Night, shithead."

Robbie chuckled and closed his eyes. "Night, bitchface."

* * *

_Hello! Wow, just a few more chapters left until this all ends! I hope you aren't mad that I killed off Baby. That was really in my plan all along! I hope you liked his character, though. He was super fun to come up with and write. If you've read up to this point, I wanted to thank you so much. I'm glad you've stuck with my story till the end!_


	26. Pie & Prejudice

_No, no. Oh, god. Please don't let it be him._ Sam was rushing down the corridors, shoving other people out of the way as he rushed to see what everyone had been bustling around about, rumors flying everywhere. Some of them had been outrageously false, but Sam believed he'd been able to pick out the truths from the rumors. He knew that the angel tablet had been destroyed just a few days ago, and its creator was now working with the rebels to whip heaven back into order. He knew that was true, because he'd been working with his flock to do just that. But then he'd heard what they were starting with; they were cutting the Gemling program completely, and at first he hadn't known what that had meant. He thought that maybe it just meant they'd stop making more mutated fledglings, that they'd set all the kids in the training program free. _Wrong, dead wrong_.

"Get out of the damn way!" He yelled, shoving past a group of angels who had gathered to look. He got to the front and felt his stomach twist in disgust as he looked down from the viewing window. The Gemling Garrison had been infiltrated by the rebels, and their first move was to recall every single one of the kids who were under their control with the Pearl. He felt his heart race as he watched the kids below get rounded up and 'exterminated', black wings were appearing everywhere as well as flashes of light and faint booms as they were being killed by the dozens every second. The kids were swirling chaotically like churning water, screams piercing the air as more and more were dropping, some looking like different animals, others half-turned into animals or other people. He darted his eyes from side to side, trying to see if he could spot Leo among the terrorized crowd.

He quickly flew down into the gigantic room, only to have a pair of strong arms restraining him as he struggled to try and get in the group of kids. He knew that his nephew hadn't absorbed the whole pill, but if there was chance that he was down here, that he could be hurt or killed...

"Stop right there." The guard told him coldly, and Sam quickly scanned the mass of teenagers of the room for Leo's familiar light, and he was relieved when he felt no such thing, he was able to pinpoint him back on Earth where he was supposed to be.

"I'm not moving until you tell me what the hell is going on here." Sam shot back, struggling just a little as if to make his point. The guard was another rebel, he could tell. But why the hell would his 'team' or 'side' be doing something so horrible?

"You know what these things are, don't you? Gemlings?" He said, and Sam nodded, anxious to hear something he didn't know. "Yeah, yeah. Why are you killing _them_, I thought the _program_ was being cut!"

"The impending war with the demons was called off ever since the tablet was destroyed, if you weren't aware. We don't need these creatures anymore. They were created as a short-term solution, this was always going to be their endgame once we'd won the battle against the demons. They're just too powerful to keep around for two reasons."

Sam was trying to listen to him, but it was a little hard with all the terrorized screaming in the background. Even though he didn't know any of these people individually, they were just kids. He didn't want to get himself killed saving these strangers, but it was almost too much to bear. The guard continued as if the emotional screams and shrieks didn't effect him whatsoever. "One, we can't have them uprising against heaven. How bad would that look? The creatures we created and tried to suppress realizing they were stronger than all of us, and ruling over _us_ instead of the other way around?" The man looked almost annoyed as he thought about this aspect, clearly irritated that whoever had come up with the program hadn't thought all of it through. "Two, the demons are after them now, clever bastards." He shook his head and pressed his lips together. "They want to steal them away, train them, and use our own weapon against us. Like I said, they're too powerful to keep around."

Suddenly, the man met Sam's eyes with a cold look in his eyes. Even though Sam had never met this man is his life, he would have been able to tell all about him and vice versa with their mind reading. "I see why you care, why you came down here. Most angels would have just viewed this from upstairs, yeah? Your nephews. They'll have to go too."

Sam felt his gut squeeze deep down, and then felt anger flare up brightly in his chest. "No." He declared, his blade slipping into his hand as his heart raced. This man, a rebel, who was supposed to be on his side was suddenly his enemy. He tried to shove him out of his head but wasn't quick enough, this man seemed to have been around for a while and was very skilled. It only took the man a second to find the lights of his family, tracing their paths and locations. "I see that none of them had the Pearl, oh, how sneaky. I supposed I'll have to file a report on all three of them-" He was easily shut up when Sam shoved his blade deep into this stomach, the light spilled out for half a second until it all burned away. That would throw them off their trail, at least for a little while.

He shoved the body down in disgust, just as he heard sirens begin to pierce the air. He whipped his head up, at first thinking they were for him, but then realizing that the group of gemlings had started to resist, a few of them were escaping. He looked up in astonishment, the small group of around six were sprinting toward him, they'd seen that he'd killed the guard and were trying to escape from the door behind Sam. Sam let them pass as he watched in astonishment, still gripping onto the man's limp body as they sprinted past him and went to escape. He caught just a quick thankful glance from the teenager who had taken the end of the group, she nodded at him as she went to slam the door, her eyes meeting his. They were pure gold.

Sam slowed down those who tried to pursue them just slightly by getting in the way. He heard their exasperated yells and frustrated noises as the group of kids had managed to escape. "Goddammit, why'd you let them get away?" One of the women yelled at him as he shoved the body to the floor. Sam didn't answer as he only flew quickly back down to Earth, he had to tell Dean everything he'd just found out. Apparently, the gemlings were now the hottest item on the market; wanted dead by heaven, wanted to keep by the demons. As he plummeted towards Earth, he was hit with a realization. Why had that guard said the three of them? There were only two.

He crashed into the kitchen, and he seemed to have interrupted a heated family conversation as he spilled over a few pots and pans from the counter. "I told you I don't know why!" Leo was explaining, flustered, as he dug with his finger to clear the small scab from his eye, the thing that had given him away when he'd come out to the kitchen that morning.

"Sam!" Dean cried out, and suddenly all eyes were on him as he straightened up. Leo looked angry as he tried to clear his eyes of any other residue and crossed his arms, they didn't have to baby him like this, he was fine. "Do you know about any of this? Why they used the Pearl last night?"

Sam came and fell into one of the chairs, exhausted. "Yeah. And shit, Dean, it's not so pretty." He explained, holding his head in his hands. "What? What's going on?"

Sam explained everything that had happened, how the rebels were winning heaven back again and shutting down all the programs and experiments that they'd set up in preparation for the war with the demons, and how the tablet had been destroyed. They'd seemed pretty excited about this, just like he had been at first. Then, with some pain he had to tell them why this wasn't such a good thing, why they felt the need to get rid of all the experiments they'd created.

"They think that they're too dangerous to keep around anymore. With them being as powerful as they are, they don't want an uprising against heaven and a potential, uh, I suppose you could call it enslavement of the regular angels. Then, the demons want to take these weapons and possibly use them to their own advantage. What they're doing...what they think the solution is...they're exterminating them. All of them." He looked up and saw horror on all of their faces, especially Leo's.

"And you...you saw all of this? With your own eyes?" Leo asked, tears coming into his voice. Sam hated that he had to answer him, but he didn't want to lie to him when they were in this much danger. "Yes." He answered softly, and Leo hung his head in sadness. "Oh." He responded, and he saw a tear drip and sparkle from his eye. Sam suddenly saw a quick glimpse of his thoughts, he saw a piece of bread being gently curled into his shaking hand by a smooth, tan hand, and eyes that were just inches away from his face crinkling up at the corners as she smiled, the pure gold irises shining brightly and contrasting deeply with the tan skin and dark brown hair. "I guess that means..." Leo started, not wanting to really say it aloud. The first girl he'd ever really loved, killed...

"Wait. Leo, I saw some of them were able to break out and escape. That girl...the one with the gold eyes? I saw her, she got out." He said, and Leo instantly perked up, his wide blue eyes meeting Sam's, an expression of pure joy on his face. "Really?!" He cried out, and he saw that quick little memory of Sam's, of her nodding and slamming the door behind her, and he suddenly looked like he was glowing.

"She was so smart, sphinx-smart, she must have coughed up the pill just like I did!" He put his hands on his cheeks in happiness and laughed aloud, a pink flush was climbing onto his cheeks. "I'm going to find her, and I'm going to marry her!" He declared happily, his expression softening as it looked as if his heart were melting. "Go, Leo, go!" Robbie supported him happily, patting him on the back a few times. He'd been in a very good mood in the past few days, actually having a little bit of optimism come into his life.

"What does that mean for them, then?" Dean asked, turning his attention back to Sam and ignoring the celebratory sons for a second. "I don't know. I think they'll think they've got all of them, but they might- they just might find out somehow. You've got to be careful." He said gravely, looking at all four of their faces in succession. "I'm going to try my best to stamp out any leads. It might be a while before they are able to find out anything."

He suddenly remembered the question he'd realized on his way here. "The man I killed before he could report it, he said there were three that he was going to report. What was he talking about?" He saw both of their expressions soften, and they exchanged a glance.

"We only found out yesterday." Dean started, and Sam brought his eyebrows together. What was he talking about? "Well..me and Cas are going to have a girl this time." Dean finished, smiling brightly as he explained it aloud again.

Sam's expression softened. "Dean, that's great. It's just...dammit, they've assumed that she's one too. A gemling. I'm going to keep them away for as long as I can, but I don't know what's going to happen..." He ran his hands through his hair, stress making him feel sick. He'd been so relieved when he'd found out that heaven was going to be taken back over, put back to normal, he never would have felt that way if he thought this was what it meant. And he wanted to tell Dean his other news too, but he felt like now wasn't exactly the best moment. Dean saw right through him.

"What? What else are you not telling us, Sam?" He accused when he'd acutely picked up his hesitation to say something else. He felt sick at the news as well, he never liked knowing that his family was in danger.

"Uh... now's not really the best time to say, but..." He met all of their eyes, which were peering at him fearfully. Was there some type of catch? What other danger could they possibly be in? "Um, I'm having fledglings too." He explained quickly, lowering his eyes as a little blush creeped onto his cheeks. "I'm thinking they'll be born in a year or so." He looked up and was met with Dean's shining eyes, he was smiling brightly. He chuckled and spoke up happily. "_Git it_, Sam-_my_! How many are there?" He was thinking about how Mary and her cousins would probably be very close in age. He wondered if one of them would be a girl too, if he was having more than one.

"There's two. I don't think she can tell if they're boys or girls yet, though." He said proudly, feeling excited as he explained too. However, he needed to return to the subject at hand. "I think you have enough time to give Robbie the cure, it's not like they're going to be coming for you any day. I just wanted to let you know to be careful." He said, getting ready to return to heaven and his Other.

"Thanks, Sam. I'll see you soon, okay?" He said with worried eyes when he noticed his brown wings were stretched and over his head, ready to take flight again. He was glad that he still saw his brother often, but now that he'd been told the news he wanted him to come by even more often. "'Kay. Bye, Dean." He smiled reassuringly at him, and there was a whoosh of feathers, and Dean quickly got up from his chair. If they didn't have a lot of time, he wanted to make as much progress on the cure as he could so he'd be able to give it to his son before all hell broke loose and they'd have to face those who wanted to hurt his family.

* * *

The smell of burning feathers burned Dean's nose, and he felt that marrow-reaching heat again, but not just on his back this time, but all around him, on his arms, on his back, on the back of his skull. Cas's eyes were held half-open, the orange flames dancing maliciously in the calm blue as he seemed to stare through him, an expressionless look on his face.

"Don't do this to me! You promised me it would be okay!" Dean sobbed, gripping him tightly as his arms were limp around him. The fire was going down, he was dying.

"It's _okay_, Deano." He told him, but it was Baby's voice that fell from his lips, those had been his last words. His body fell away, the other wing in full painted on the ground, his face had dropped and his eyes were closed. Dean saw a pulsating light underneath his ribs start to dim and die, fading away inside the corpse.

"Mary..." Dean choked, kneeling down next to him and and trying to summon his blade, maybe it wasn't too late, he could cut her out...but right when he tried, the body simply disappeared. He straightened up and felt something else was wrong; he heard screams and a feirce snarling coming from another room. He sprinted to try and see what was happening, but he had a pretty good idea. Robbie was involuntary again, and he was killing his brother.

When he turned the corner, it was too late. He saw his two sons lying together, lifeless, blood was everywhere. Sam looked like Robbie had gotten to him first, his body was a mess just a little way away. Leo's arms were shredded to the point that he could see some of his bones, and bites riddled his whole body. He was gripping firmly to his blade, which was deeply shoved inside Robbie's chest, his blood spilling across the floor in a dark wave. The two that were closer than anything had killed each other. And now, he had no one.

"_Dean_." He felt his shoulder being shaken, and he woke up with a deep gasp, his hand flying to his chest as he tried to steady his breathing. It was the middle of the night, and everything was quiet except for his loud breaths.

"It was only a nightmare." Cas assured him quietly. Dean kept his eyes closed tightly as he sat ridgid, trying to force the images from his mind. "Here," Cas said gently, pressing his hand to his chest as he felt the familiar warm orb pass into his chest again, calming him down as he realized she was safe, all of them were safe. He sighed and let the warmth fill him up as he pulled Cas to hug him from the side.

"You saw it too, didn't you?" He asked quietly, keeping his eyes closed as he tried to focus on the warmth and the arms wrapped around him instead of that horrible dream. "I always see them." He answered simply. There was a silence as Dean slowed his breathing, closing his eyes tightly again and again. "They've been getting worse. I know dreams used to be memories, this is only a nightmare."

"It's not just a nightmare, Cas, some of it was real. For one, Baby's gone." He said quietly, sighing as he felt that fresh hole in his grace, it still stung sometimes, like a physical wound. "How long until this heals?" He asked, but in the back of his mind he felt he knew the answer. "I don't know. I still felt Mirael's absense two hundred years later." Dean closed his eyes and brought him closer.

"At least we don't need him to help with Mary. That's a good thing." Cas spoke up, trying to assure him that he'd be fine this time.

"Other things were real. In my nightmare-you really did look like that last time. And then you had to go away-" He'd been having nightmares almost every night as he worried more and more each day, most times they were scenarios like this, Gatherers coming for them, or demons, or other angels, or even just killing themselves, like tonight's.

Cas interjected quickly, whispering. "I know. I'm sorry I put you through that. Left you all by yourself."

"I don't want you to leave forever. I don't want you to die." He sighed and felt the little light rise and fall, he was calming down. But his nightmares had been coming more and more frequently now.

"I won't. I promise." Dean started feeling a little light-headed, a tinny ringing starting in his ears. The warmth left as Cas pulled her back, Dean didn't have the capacity to hold her for long anymore as she got closer to being ready. Cas blinked and gave him a quick hug, he knew just what to do when he worried. Cas pulled away and looked at him, realizing something else.

"Can you check on Robert John for me and tell him I'm okay? I know he's been worrying about me and Mary too." Cas said quietly, resettling into his clump of blankets and closing his eyes. Because Mary was such a peculiar case, they had no idea when she'd be born. Still, they had an estimate now that he'd gotten the urge to build a blanket nest again.

"Of course. Just try and rest, okay? I'm going to take care of everything." He said gently, fluffing a pillow and sliding it under him head. "You've been using a lot of energy taking care of her." Cas nodded and smiled, shrinking into the blankets. "She is being very gentle to me, Dean. Don't worry." Dean smiled and rubbed his shoulder gently before setting out to help Robbie.

He'd been confined in the bedroom-turned-saferoom for three days now, but Dean had a feeling it would all be over soon. At first it had been bad, after the rituals and when he drank the mixture, he'd seemed like he was in so much pain that Dean had had Sam take Leo away for a while when he heard him screaming. They'd had to put a heavy bandage over his eyes to keep him from clawing them out, he'd scratched them pretty badly and Cas had to go in and reheal it, Dean couldn't bring himself to look at him in that state. He was in a perpetual state of almost-wolf, turning violently every few hours. It had been slowly receding, and Dean didn't hear much noise from the room anymore.

Dean unlocked the door and creaked it open as quietly as possible, he didn't want to disturb him if he was getting some much-needed sleep. He looked into the dim room and saw him at the far wall, crouched in the corner, deep claw marks carved into the wall, he could even point out where he'd flashed between wolf and human by the thickness change in the indents.

"Hi, dad." Robbie piped up with a somewhat hoarse voice, his eyes were still wrapped up in a protective bandage but he was able to feel that his dad was in the room. Dean quickly came up to him and smoothed down the hair on the side of his head, then pressed his palm to his forehead to feel if he had a fever.

"How are you feeling, baby?" He asked quietly, pushing his hair back when he took his hand away, grateful that he didn't have a fever this time.

"You mean since you asked me four hours ago? Dad, I'm fine." He insisted weakly, leaning his head on the wall in exhaustion. Dean smiled and smoothed his hair again. He hadn't complained even once during the whole ordeal, he'd never asked him if it was over yet or how much longer it would take. "Good." Dean replied, bringing his thumb down and running it over his cheek. "Cas wanted me to tell you both of them are fine."

Robbie smiled slightly and sighed. "Thanks for telling me." He would always be like that, wouldn't he? Worrying and assuming responsibilty for everything. Dean went and picked him up with just a little bit of effort, they were getting so heavy and he wasn't exactly getting any younger. He placed him gently down on the lone bed in the empty room.

"How long since you last turned?" He asked gently, pulling the bunched up blanket over him again. Robbie grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to his chin, concentrating in thought. "I only went once. It was a few hours ago." Dean felt like maybe that meant things were slowing down, it would be over soon.

"Are you hungry? Do you want some saltines, maybe some soup?" He said quietly, patting his shoulder reassuringly. Robbie finally broke into a smile, and Dean couldn't see his eyes through the bandages, but he knew they'd be twinkling with their light green. "Pie." He said simply, licking his lips. "You are a chip off the ol' block, Rob." Dean chuckled.

"Can it be the chocolate silk? The one from that little French bakery, the chocolate one, you know, the one by the Louvre?" Dean laughed and patted his shoulder.

"Okay. But I've gotta stop spoiling you like this, most kids your age don't have angels as parents to fly across the world for a piece of pie, just a news flash."

"No, really?" Robbie shot back, grinning, but his smile dropped as he shuddered again. "Hmmmm." He moaned, curling in on himself. Dean watched as a wave of goosebumps prickled down his body, popping and receding, coming in another wave that this time was sprouting grey hairs as they sprouted and shrunk back into the skin within a split second.

"Hang in there, Bobby." Dean said seriously this time, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back soon." His stomach squeezed uncomfortably when he saw that he was in pain, he hated seeing either of them hurt. "Pie for breakfast, how does that sound?"

"Okay," He said softly, biting his lips together as his body shuddered again. "Soon, baby. It's going to be over soon."

He collapsed back on the bed and groaned, he was so worried about his family nowadays. "It's going to be okay. I promise." Cas spoke up quietly, he got a flash of memories of when he'd gotten burnt out, his face that held no emotion as his own firelight played across his face.

"Listen, Cas, if anything starts going wrong, I mean _anything_...I can take over. I can take her in and..and I don't know, I could figure something out. I just can't risk anything." He said determinedly, he strained to make out his face in the dim light. His voice softened as he spoke up again. "You're my Other, Cas. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Not again."

"It won't." He replied, nuzzling his head into his pillow.

"You know," He smiled, rolling over onto his side to face Cas. "You might not have been around for Leo and Rob when they were little, but I know you'll make a great dad." He pulled his head forward until their foreheads touched, he breathed slowly in and out, that smiled just wouldn't come off his face. "Night, Cas." He whispered.

"Goodnight."

...

When Dean came back to the new room that morning after flying across the globe and toting a mouth-watering piece of pie back for Robbie, he saw that Cas wasn't in his bed anymore and instead felt the two of them in the barren room. He opened the door just a sliver and peeked inside.

"...because I know what your light used to feel like, and I can tell that it's going away." Cas was speaking softly to him, and he had the lanky teenager curled up and tucked into his chest, his temple pressed to Cas's shoulder as Robbie's hand rested lightly on Cas's chest. Cas pressed his cheek to his forehead and spoke up again, rubbing his back in small circles. "It feels much purer, Robert. It won't be long."

When Dean looked closer, he saw that Robbie was trembling slightly, and his breathing was coming in short bursts. "Is Mary okay still?" He asked quietly, trying to blindly feel for that warm patch of skin. "Shh. Don't worry, she's fine." Dean felt his heart squeeze: he didn't want to interrupt, Robbie had always had a harder time showing his feelings to anyone but Leo, and he seemed so vulnerable and young as he leaned onto Cas.

"What's this, dad?" He asked quietly, tracing his fingers along a thick, craggy raised scar in the middle of his chest. He'd never asked about it before. Cas curled him in closer and sighed. He and Dean had agreed a long time ago to not talk about their birth, they didn't want them to feel guilty. But now, he realized that they had seen him right afterwards, that they knew almost everything. "It was from Leoniel. Your Uncle saved his life by cutting him out." He explained somberly, but then his lips drew into the tiniest smile. "You called me dad."

"I know." Robbie replied softly, smiling too. He brushed his fingers away from the scar and stopped when he felt the hot skin. "And she's right here?" He asked quietly, his voice sounded watery. Cas nodded, his cheek pressed to the top of his forehead. Robbie's body shuddered again and he bit back a cry. He felt from the scar to the warm skin again, almost as if he was reassuring himself of something. Dean got the answer of what that was when Cas spoke up again, brushing the dark hair from his forehead.

"You're doing this for them, aren't you?"

Robbie nodded and leaned his head onto him, he was shaking more and biting back little whimpers. "I don't-want to hurt my family-my brother and sister-" he hugged tightly onto Cas around his neck, and Cas held the tall, lanky body back and rocked him gently, before Robbie pulled away and stumbled from his lap.

"You have to go." He said through gritted teeth, curling into a ball as Dean could almost hear the fur bristling out again. A low growl began to rumble in his throat. "Now, Cas." He got up and crouched next to Robbie, who tipped his head blindly up at him with sad, fearful expression as he shook. "Don't forget why you are doing this. Let it consume you, fill you up and push out the pain. That's what I did, Robert, during the treatments. I had to focus on keeping you both." Robbie wrinkled his nose, his eyes were probably squeezed shut under those white bandages, tiny beads of sweat pushing out of his nose and around his cheeks. "I love them. Leo and Mary, I want to keep you safe." He whispered to himself, crying out and curling tightly in a ball, a ripping sound now was mixing in with the low growl.

"I love you." Cas said sadly, kissing him on the forehead lighty as he shuddered again, groaning. Cas strode quickly from the room, slamming the door behind him as a fierce snarling could be heard from inside, as well as slamming and scrabbling on the walls. Cas looked speechless and he looked up at Dean, who quickly set down the pie slice and wrapped him into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Cas whispered into his clothes, gripping onto his back and flinching each time the wolf inside rammed itself on the walls. "I'm sorry, Robert, it was all my fault. I didn't protect you when you needed me most, when I was carrying you and you were so vulnerable, the pain I felt when they changed you, now the pain you must feel.." He whispered aloud, shaking as Dean pulled him closer. "I didn't want them to suffer. I didn't want their lives to be so hard."

"It'll be over soon." Dean reassured him, leading him away by the shoulders back to his bed, overflowing with blankets and pillows. "I hate this too. But he's being _cured_, Cas, remember?" Castiel nodded, slipping back into bed, a sad and guilty expression on his face.

It was the worst when he screamed. Dean would hold his cupped hands tightly over Cas's ears, Cas's hands over his to block out even more sound, as Dean heard each painful shriek rip through the air. Finally, it stopped, and the silence was soon filled with low moans, a word repeated over and over in a strained and gravelly voice.

"Cas..." Robbie moaned, and Dean finally took his hands from over his ears. Cas finally opened his eyes and looked at him with a fearful and sad expression. Even though he had had no choice, Dean knew he still carried so much guilt, especially while Robbie went through this. "He's calling for you." Dean told him, although he could already hear it.

"Cas...dad..." He gravelled again, groaning in pain, and Cas quickly got up and hurried out towards his room, Dean quickly following him out the door.

"Dean, don't look!" He tried to warn, but he'd already seen enough before he looked away. The ring of bandages had been pulled down and hung around his neck, and there were so many dark red lines cutting vertically down his face, his eyes had been severely damaged as blood ran from under his torn eyelids, he was curled on his stomach as Cas had a hand on his shoulder to help him up.

Dean held his face in his hands and slid his back down the wall. He didn't know how much longer he could take this. What if they had done something wrong? No one had ever been cured before, what if he would stay like this forever?

"Shhh, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to. I can heal them, I can grow them back." He heard Cas telling him gently, as Robbie finally sighed in relief as he healed him again. "I'm sorry, dad." He whispered, and he heard the wrinkling of clothes and a muffled whump as Cas gripped him tightly.

"They're going to be tender for a little while, so he might have to keep the bandages on." Cas explained as he stepped out and put his hand on Dean's shoulder. "He wants to have his breakfast with you."

Dean sat at the foot of his bed with him, he held the plate with the slice of pie on his lap as he helped guide Robbie's hand with the fork to pull off a piece, guiding it to his mouth. Robbie food-moaned and licked his lips. "Thanks for getting this for me." He whispered, the air whistling through his raw windpipe.

"How are the eyes, kiddo?" He asked gently, helping him to take another bite. Robbie screwed up his face, answering quickly. "Fine. Just a little sore."

"This is going to end so soon, baby. I promise." He said, smiling just a little as Robbie's face lit up when he took another bite. Dean smelled the rich chocolate and sweet crust and his mouth watered. "I'm so jealous of you right now." He said light-heartedly, giving him a bite of the crust this time. Robbie laughed huskily, smiling and shaking his head. "Shut up," he croaked.

"Do you at least feel better today, Bobby?" He asked, noticing he wan't shaking or sweating anymore, and his cheeks weren't as pale either, he was sitting still without any jitters. He closed his lips over his piece of pie, looking like he was thinking deeply. "Now that you mention it...I do feel better. A lot better."

Just then, Dean looked down at the plate and fork he'd taken from that little French bakery. They never kept anything silver in the house, but this ornate fork with the little carvings all on the handle was taken accidentally from the restaurant; in astonishment he turned to the backside, and the tiny printed letters stamped out "d'argent". Silver.

"Robbie. Robbie, I think it's over." Dean said in astonishment, as he let go of Robbie's hand holding the fork and looked at him with hope in his eyes. If silver wasn't burning him anymore, and he looked so much healthier...maybe that painful episode had been the very last one. But he had to be sure.

"Cas! Cas, go get my dad's ring!" He called behind him excitedly as he grasped his son's hands together, the kid had dropped the fork in shock as he let out a little gasp.

Cas quickly came into the room and handed Dean the ring he'd kept hidden away for all those years, dropping it onto his open palm. "Is it okay to take off the wraps, Cas?"

"He may be a bit sensititve to light, but I think so." He replied, smiling as he looked at Robbie with a fatherish glance.

Dean unwrapped everything quickly, when he finally got to the end and pulled away the last peice, his closed eyes opened slowly to reveal that bright green. Wordlessly, he held his hand out, palm up, it was shaking ever-so-slightly as he anticipated if the ring that had hurt him before would hurt again. Dean pinched it between two fingers and gently lay it in the middle of his palm. Nothing happened, no burning or blistering or awful sizzling that smelled like burnt hair. Robbie gasped lightly and curled his fingers around it, looking up at Cas and then Dean with bright eyes.

"I want you to have that, Rob. It's yours now, but it belonged to your grandfather." Dean said happily, as the teenager slipped it in disbelief onto his finger. He looked up again to the two of them and launched himself up, wrapping his arms around them and fitting his head inbetween theirs. Dean felt a patter from a tear drip onto his shoulder, and he rubbed his back, speaking up gently. "Why don't you go wake Leo?"

The kid choked back a sob and looked into their faces, back and forth, wiping his tears from his face as he was off like a rocket, quickly flying open his bedroom door and seeing his brother sleeping there, curled up with bright orange earplugs that Sam had bought him stuffed in his ears, but he must have still heard because of the tried tear trails on his face.

"Leo. Hey, Lee, wake up." He said happily, shaking his shoulder roughly with one hand. The sleepy teenager groggily opened his eyes, groaning, clumsily pulling out his earplug. "Hmm?"

"Leo, it's me." Robbie said happily, and the kid jerked up out of bed, his eyes wide as he jumped and wrapped his brother into a tight hug wordlessly, and Robbie started laughing when happy little whimpers began to escape his throat. "It's over?" He whispered into his ear, and Robbie nodded and smiled, pressing his cheek to Leo's temple and closing his eyes. "It's all over."

Dean and Cas looked on from the bedroom door, and Dean had his arm slung over his shoulder as he happily brought his head closer with the crook of his elbow and kissed the side of his head. _Things are getting better, _he shot out the thought easily, smiling as he watched the two pull away and Leo punched Robbie's shoulders softly and scolded him for not believing it was going to happen. _They're going to keep getting better. _He assured him, smiling.

...

Robbie was trying to finish up his math packet, both him and his brother were _way _behind on their summer assignments since they'd spent almost their whole vacation back in time and saving their parent's asses. He had his headphones in and was listening to Gymnopédie No.1, clacking away at his calculator as just a bit of the outside noise leaked into his ears. He took off one headphone and was instantly hit with sharp guitar riffs with Led Zepplin's Immigrant Song tearing through the air as Leo blasted it through his speakers as he did his own summer assignments.

"Leo! Turn this crap down, Cas is trying to rest!" Robbie laughed, throwing a pillow across the room at him playfully. "I don't know how you can even concentrate with this on!"

Leo cranked it up another notch, grinning widely. "You want to play it like that, huh?" He tried throwing the pillow back but missed terribly. Robbie threw another pillow that hit him right in the face, and he swiftly got up and grabbed the pillow from the ground, whapping Robbie with it. The two laughed and rough housed, Robbie was in an amazing mood as he felt healthier than ever before and he knew that he'd be safe around Leo and his sister now. Robbie fought through Leo and was finally able to turn the stereo off and he launched himself at Leo, pinning him down with a pillow over his chest, which rose as fell as Leo laughed.

Leo began to switch from animal to animal, and Robbie gritted his teeth and tried to keep him pinned down. "Hey, stop cheating, you bitch!" He laughed, rolling over as Leo was able to flip him off and lumber away as a bright white polar bear, and as Robbie climbed up to chase after him he suddenly felt a very familiar, yet dreaded sensation as his muscles expanded and his bones stretched instantaneously, his body bristling with thick grey fur. He returned to normal immediately, stumbling backwards with a look of pure terror on his face as he slid down once his back had met a wall, holding his head in his hands in defeat. Any happy mood in the air instantly disappeared and was replaced with fear and the sense of emergency.

"RJ?!" Leo exclaimed, his blue eyes wide with surprise and fear as he quickly dropped back to his human form and rushed toward him, his hands flying to grip him by the upper arms.

"Get Cas." Robbie choked, and Leo quickly tore from the room. Robbie sat by himself in silence and was keeping his head in his hands, little tufts of black hair stuck up from between his fingers. It wasn't over, it was never going to be over. He was so stupid for thinking he could have really been cured.

"Robert, what's wrong?" Cas asked gently, kneeling down next to him and cocking his head to the side. "He..he turned again for a second, but..I don't know why!" Leo explained quickly, wringing his hands.

"What happened?" Cas tried to pull Robbie onto his lap, but the kid firmly resisted. "No, Mary's with you. If she's this close to me, I'm going to poison her. My grace is going to change her too, she's going to get poisoned.." He was sobbing, leaning on the wall in defeat. "It's not over. It's never going to be over."

"Shh. No one's poisoning anyone, understand?" Cas said firmly. "Let me take a look." He pulled the kid into his lap again, as he looked up at him with a haunted expression. "What's wrong with me, Cas?" He asked quietly, tears slipping from his eyes.

Castiel closed his eyes and concentrated, feeling the familiar light he'd spent a year with. The aspect of werewolf had disappeared completely, and now he could see beyond that, what it had been hiding under its opaque layer. "I see now." Cas said quietly, pulling the vulnerable kid closer to him, trying to feel the light more closely to make sure he wasn't mistaken. "It was masked before by being a werewolf, because it shared many of its qualities."

"I have _another_ part?" Robbie asked, flustered.

"No. It's been here all along. You had control, right?" Robbie nodded, but he looked confused. What did he mean?

"The word for it, if I can recall, is animagus." Cas explained, brushing the dark hairs from Robbie's forehead gently. "Now that I'm thinking about it, I believe Leoniel is one too."

"What do you mean? What is that?"

"It's like skinwalking but with only one animal. You seem to have wolf, while Leoniel.." He turned to look at the blonde teenager, who looked afraid as well at the news. He was something he hadn't known about either? "If I told you to skinwalk in one second, what would you turn into?" Leo barely had to think before he answered.

"Probably my tiger." He said, concentrating. "Do you mean that's my animagus, kind of like my default?"

"Yes. Robert, there's nothing to worry about. I can feel it, you are no longer a werewolf, but you can still change into the form." He said, and he started to smile. "You're going to be okay."

Dean ran into the room a second later, he'd been inside the new room, his arms were white with drywall and caulk, he'd been trying to smoothe out the deep claw marks that were scratched into every wall. "What's going on?!" He asked fearfully, running and quickly crouching next to Leo and gripping his shoulder.

"Nothing. Everything's fine, Dean. I've figured out what happened." He said calmly, and he smiled as Robbie pulled himself closer and buried his face into his clothes in relief. "Robert turned into a wolf again."

"What?! But...the silver, and.." He sputtered, confusing Robbie's releived action as one of shame and sadness. "And he already spent three days-"

"No, Dean, he's cured. He's something else, they both are. Animagi. Shapeshifting into only one animal. For him, it's been a wolf this whole time." He brushed the hair from his forehead again in a loving gesture, smiling as he looked at him. "It's okay, Robert." Robbie sighed in relief and wiped his eye, finally laughing in relief.

"I just...I want to get out of this house." He admitted and laughed wetly, looking at his dad and Leo in succession. Dean came up to him and helped him to stand up. "We can do that." He said happily, hugging him and roughing his hair. "With that room open, we're going to need to start shopping for some things for Mary. How would you two like to come with me?"

"Fuck yes," Robbie said happily, relief pouring from his eyes.

"No swearing, kid. We're going to have some young ears in here soon." He said with a smile, leading Robbie from the room by his shoulder, going and grabbing the keys to the car.

...

Dean looked over at Robbie in the passenger's seat on their way back from the store, the trunk piled with things they'd all helped to buy. He glanced over as the wind combed through his pitch black hair, he had his eyes closed and his face halfway out the window, his chin resting on his arms. He looked so healthy, better than he'd seen him in a long time. He had a tiny smile on his face, and he proabably didn't even know that Dean was looking at him. Dean was thinking about how he didn't even think of him in the terms of angel or monster, phoenix or werewolf anymore, he was just his son.

"Dad!" Leo suddenly spoke up in an alarmed voice, pointing out the window. "Look at that!" Dean looked out at the direction he was pointing and saw a large plume of dark smoke against the sky, it wasn't very far away at all.

"We should go and help!" Leo said, excitement shining in his eyes, as Robbie snapped awake from his half-nap, looking out and seeing the smoke too. Dean stepped just a little harder on the gas pedal without saying a word, and the engine rumbled louder. "Really? You're letting us?" Robbie piped up, grinning as he looked over at Dean.

"I've done things way worse as a hunter, kid, I'll tell you that." He chuckled, putting on the blinker and shifting lanes, heading toward the direction of the smoke.

"Awesome!" Leo and Robbie said at the same time, as Robbie turned the the backseat and slapped Leo's hand.

The three heard the sirens from far away as they already reached the burning apartment building. "Keep the car running," Robbie said, climbing out and patting the metal door by the top once he'd closed it. Then, him and Leo ran headfirst into the building, popping down every so often with another person that they'd lay safely on the lawn, exchanging a quick glance before disappearing again. The sirens were getting closer as the two jumped back into the backseat, slamming the door shut as it squealed slightly getting out of there.

Dean's nose was overwhelmed with the smell of ash and smoke. Leo was shaking his head quickly from side to side, trying to get the fluffy grey ashes out as Robbie reached out an scrubbed his palm across his hair. Dean flicked his eyes to the rear veiw mirror and saw their sooty faces, smiling up at him with teeth that now looked much whiter against the black charcoal layered on their skin.

"Hey, we'd make some pretty good firefighters, huh RJ?" Leo asked happily, rubbing his face and trying to get some of the soot off. "Hey dad, can we do that instead of all this hunter stuff?" He joked, and Robbie smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Oh, shut up."

"Hey, you two need to clean out the back when we get home, you're getting burnt stuff everywhere." Dean said light-heartedly, focusing on the road again.

"Yeah, yeah." Robbie replied snarkily, combing through his own hair with dirty fingers and grinning. Dean looked at the two of them from the rear view again, when he was suddenly hit with realization. At first, he'd hated the idea of having something other than a pure human or pure angel as his kids, he'd been disgusted and full of hate, letting his awful deep-seated prejudice get in the way of realizing that they were his family. As they grew up he'd started to tolerate it, fitting it under that catergory of just something that was there that he had to deal with. But now; he felt like maybe, he kind of liked it. He looked at the two who had just exited a blazing building with not even one scratch, and he realized that monster or not, he wouldn't want them to be any other way anymore.


	27. The Jeweler's Demise

They came for them in the night, almost close to the break of dawn. All four of the family members shot up in their beds, detecting the strangers right away. The twins ripped from their beds, all the adrenaline pumping through their systems waking them up much better than a splash of cold water. Leo easily flicked his blade into his hand and it glinted maliciously in the dim blue light, and Robbie stayed behind him, feeling his heart beat faster and faster and it seemed so loud that he felt like the enemy would be able to hear it from the other room.

They weren't exactly sure when the line blurred from anticipation into action, but suddenly the house was filled with noise as the four of them tried to fiercely fight back the intruders, yells and thumps rang through the silent dark. Robbie was able to tackle an angel from behind, and he felt the grace burn out and disappear underneath his fangs, and he spat the body aside as he whipped his head from side to side, trying to see where the others were. "Dad!" He heard Leo cry out painfully as one of the angels pulled him into a tackle, and the two of them simply disappeared. The last one was swiftly killed with a flash of white light as Cas straightened up, breathing heavily.

"He's gone! They took him!" Leo found the words tumbling from his lips, his hands were shaking. He was staring at the spot Dean had been just seconds before in disbelief. "They took him to the Jeweler's. I don't know why." Cas graveled to answer, wiping the blood wearily from his blade. "Right now, you two are the ones that heaven wants. We need to keep you safe." He instantly took both of them by the shoulders and was leading them out of the house.

"There's another Beautiful Room location not too far from here, around fifty miles. These Rooms exist in an entirely different plane, not in heaven or Earth. You'll be safe there." The two noticed that they were going out towards the car.

"Why can't we just fly there?" Robbie piped up, he'd grabbed a jacket for both him and Leo and was handing his brother the jacket as they quickly climbed into the car, Cas taking the driver's seat. "We can't fly now. This is a manhunt, they can easily intercept us mid-flight. We have to get away the traditional way." He fired out quickly, starting up the engine and starting to tear up the road, he sure was a fast driver but he wasn't very smooth in his actions.

"But...what about dad?!" Leo asked fearfully from the backseat, he was gripping his hands together in fear as they were white-knuckled. Cas kept his eyes narrowed and focused on the road as he pressed the pedal down even more and the engine roared loudly. "I will do everything I can for him once you two are safe. You're the ones who are in the most danger currently." He said in voice that was slightly tinted with fear as well, his hands were shaking ever-so-slightly as he gripped to the wheel.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, do you understand?" He said very seriously, and the two saw that even though he was a grown angel and typically had control over the connection of emotions and exposed wings, his dark black wings were out in full and sharply spread with fear. "Yes," The two responded lightly in unison, Leo reached over and let himself by wrapped into Robbie's arms as both of their hearts pounded.

It was almost as if their worst nightmare was coming true as Robbie detected just the slightest falter in Cas's driving, his hand suddenly gripped extra hard on the wheel for just a second before returning to normal, like a flinch, but it didn't escape his notice. "Cas." He spoke up in a low voice, letting go of Leo and pulling forward to observe him closely. "What was that?"

"Nothing. I need to get you to this Room as quickly as possible." He responded, not answering the question at all, simply pressing down harder on the pedal. He knew that he didn't have much time, but maybe if he hurried he could get them to safety and possibly rescue Dean before it became full-blown. He didn't want to tell them, he didn't want them to worry. Then, Robbie knew he hadn't just imagined anything when he flinched again, almost like he had a very hard hiccup, and he instinctively brought his hand up to his chest, but tore it away right when he realized he'd given himself away.

"Oh, _fuck_! Is it really happening now?" Robbie burst out, clenching his hands into fists. He'd be damned if they weren't either cursed or the most unlucky family in the world.

"No." He responded right away, trying to sound unbending and firm about the fact, but it was too clear that he was lying when he tried hard to suppress a tiny noise of pain that muffled in his throat. The two perked up and were gripping onto the back of the seat hard, staring him down with fear in their eyes. "I-I can stop it. I can prevent it for at least a little while." He tried to convince them and himself, but he knew it wasn't true. When Baby had stopped it before, it had been because they were too small. He could tell that this was not the case this time, and he didn't know if it would work on someone who was full-sized.

"Oh, shit! Remember that Uncle Sammy said they thought she was one too?" Leo said aloud, tears coming to his eyes. Cas suddenly flinched again and hissed from his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut for just a second. "Okay, there's no way you can drive right now." Robbie spoke up, his heart racing. "Pull over, Cas. I'll do it." Robbie commanded him, and Cas was silent, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Oh, Mary. Seventeen years and you choose today to finally arrive?" He said softly, pulling over and Robbie helped him into the backseat, he looked like he was having a hard time as Leo pulled him in next to him, pulling his arms around his neck. Cas breathed in and out slowly as he felt the detangling kick it up a notch, the pain radiating out and rippling through his entire grace.

Robbie didn't climb into the driver's seat, instead he stood there with the door open as he gawked at the large roadblock that they would have driven straight into. "I hate to say this, but we've got company." Robbie spoke up, staring at the mass of angels and demons who either wanted them or wanted them dead. The crowd of people were blocking the entire road, churning, fighting amongst themselves for their prize, electric flashes could be seen as angels killed demons, and Robbie was reminded uncannily of a vast stormcloud, ripe with lightning.

"No, we're bringing you to safety. There has to be another w-" Cas started when he saw the mass of beings, but was cut off as he tried to stifle crying out. His eyes widened when he saw the small army coming to try and get his sons, to kill or kidnap. He closed his eyes tightly and breathed in and out, clutching tightly at his chest as if it were a heart attack.

"We're going to protect you, both of you. We can do it, Cas." Robbie said determinedly, but deep down he really was scared too. Leo began to silently pull away and exit the car. "Leoniel, no!" Cas said firmly, trying to grab him but he was too slow as he tensed up again. He breathed heavily in and out, trying to speak without interrupting it with a cry. "Robert, Leoniel...please, we can...another way, please.." He panted, reaching at nothingness in their direction.

"I'm sorry, dad." Robbie said coldly, locking the back door and the driver's door. "This _is_ the only way." He slammed the front door shut with remorse, hanging his head and finally lifting his eyes as the two brothers looked on at the vast pool of enemies that they'd have to face. Robbie looked sadly into the car, where Cas was struggling, breathing hard with his eyes closed as he could see the bright skin illuminated from the inside, he was struggling to pull it to rise as his face screwed up in concentration. "Take care of 'em, Baby." Robbie whispered, patting the top of the car affectionately just twice.

He and Leo strode a few feet away towards the enemy, side-by-side, and they finally turned their heads to exchange a quick glance. The bright green met the rich blue, both of them understood the other completely. Leo reached out and put his hand on Robbie's shoulder for just a second before dropping it to his side again. They both were perfectly willing to die if it meant their parents and their sister would be okay. Robbbie arched an eyebrow and Leo nodded, and they began to pick up the pace as they rushed to fight back the enemy.

Leo curled his arms up toward his chest and then flicked them down quickly, one arm had his blade drop easily into his palm while the other ignited all the way up to the elbow with a single whoosh, bright orange flames dancing over his arm, rising from the glowing coal-textured skin.

"Shit Lee, where'd you learn to do that?" Robbie asked when he saw the flames in the corner of his eye. So far, he thought being part-phoenix only meant being able to have a coal-like skin and be resistant to fire. He didn't think it meant they could generate their own flames.

"Training." Leo replied in a stone-cold voice, gripping his blade tightly as a strange feirceness shone from his eyes. Robbie had almost forgotten that Leo had been a little more than held hostage for those four months he was gone, he had been drilled, trained, worked to the bone. He'd never suspected that Leo was probably a much better fighter than him; he just didn't seem the part.

Robbie ripped into his wolfish form, finding it much easier to be in complete control now as he felt a snarl rip from the bottom of his throat, he felt powerful as his muscles bunched and stretched with each bound he took, he was ready to kill some sons a' bitches who were trying to hurt his family.

Before they had even reached the mass of angels and demons, Leo sent out a massive burst of flame, which stretched and rolled into a rope of orange flame, whipping around a segment of the hoard and forcing the demons in the group out of their bodies, a plume of evil smoke rose quickly into the air as the hosts were too burnt to operate anymore.

Robbie lunged at the people rushing toward him, snapping and clawing through them as his blade, distributed through his teeth and claws, tore through the lights and he felt demons flicker and electrocute under his teeth or he felt the grace burn away from under his paws as wings painted the ground. He caught just a glimpse of Leo for half a second before he was fighting tooth and nail again. Leo's teeth were bared in a feirce expression, his freckled nose wrinkling with determination and his narrowed blue eyes burned with fury. He never could have imagine Leo looking this way, ever, and yet here he was.

His blade was gripped tightly in his one hand, which he was slashing fiercely across other's bodies, pitching each slash with his whole body weight behind it. The flames burning from his arm trailed slightly behind him as he rushed forward, slashing and burning and sometimes changing shapes in the blink of an eye, tumbling, pinning the enemy down and finishing the job without hesitation, jabbing his blade deep into the body and moving on without even a second thought. _Holy shit, __Leo!_ Robbie found himself thinking in disbelief.

Robbie almost wished he could lose control again, as he was getting confused and weary as the crowd he was fighting seemed to only be getting thicker and more chaotic. He felt a blindingly painful stab into his back leg, and with horror he snapped back into his human form, gripping tightly to his leg as red began to snake out, along with a beam of light. He quickly tried to heal himself, but he only managed to cut off the light as red streamed from his leg. Distracted, he hadn't noticed when an angel was standing right over him, blade just inches above his chest, ready to end his life, in which she saw only danger and many horrible potentials. Heaven's snake egg that needed to be crushed, to speak in the terms of Julius Caesar. She couldn't seem to grasp the concept that he was just another kid, burdened with these other aspects of himself, just a teenager and not a weapon.

The angel was thrown off him by a powerful tiger, pinned down and quickly run through. Robbie got another glance of Leo as he lay flat on his back, the kid didn't seem worn down at all but looked like he was just getting started as flecks of blood mixed in with his numerous freckles. Robbie struggled to stand, and he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before, maybe it was from all the adrenaline pumping through his body. He clutched at his leg, firing off the exorcism spell he'd basically memorized along with his ABC's a long time ago, even though he hadn't known why. Smoke began erupting all around him, and bodies began falling as he felt himself falling too, everything sounded muffled, like pillows were held over his ears, as his dizzying vision swirled with back. He was losing too much blood. He brought his hand up and burned a demon out of it's body as it approached him, then he felt a weight drop into his hand as he saw another angel rushing him.

It was as if it were instinct as he quickly thrust his weapon up, and the angel died quickly with a boom as he rolled the corpse off of him. He looked at his blade in his hand for the first time, tinged with red. _There you are, took you long enoug_h. Robbie thought to himself, before swinging his hand and stabbing what was apparently a demon with it. He tried to stand, but he immediately got light-headed and his vision swam. He was able to make out where his brother was again, he had a cluster of angels and demons around him, at least thirty, as he shot out flames and angels began falling around him quickly, he was unseen as they kept dropping like flies, all in a tight radius around him.

Robbie ran through one more demon before he didn't have the strength to hold his head up and watch Leo tearing through everyone anymore. His head hit the asphalt, and his eyes began closing. _As long as Leo and Mary and our parents make it out, it's fine_. He found himself thinking, trying to apply pressure to his streaming wound with fingers that felt like they were growing numb and cold.

Robbie felt his head swim as his vision began to swirl with static with black, he suddenly had a sensation like he was floating as he felt like he was almost going to pass out. He suddenly felt afraid as his grace contracted painfully. He was losing too much blood, the wound had been too deep. _I'm dying. _He thought to himself, closing his eyes. _I tried my best, Lee, I really did. I'm sorry._

* * *

"So, Mr. Dean Winchester. I'm guessing it was you who was killing all my Gatherers the whole time."

Dean heard a smooth, cold voice speak up calmly. The last thing he remembered was those intruders in his house, and next thing he knew, he was here. He opened his eyes slowly, the bright white lights hurting his eyes. He struggled against whatever was restraining him, and when he looked down he was in a chair with iron shackles on his wrists. _Shit_, Dean thought, just as the voice started up again.

"That makes me very unhappy. You and your family are basically the poster child for defiance of my institution." The man said cooly, leaning back on his chair at his clean white desk as he sipped a glass of wine.

Dean knew this man, the man in a black-and-white suit that had shoved the pill down his son's throat. The Jeweler. He had deep black eyes that blended in seamlessly with his pupils, dark brown hair and garnet-red wings. "Why did you bring me here? Why didn't you just kill me?" He shouted, struggling against the bonds.

The Jeweler leaned over his desk, cat-like, almost with a Chesire smile. "In time, Dean. For now, we needed you out of the way," He practically purred, padding up to Dean and readjusting his thin black tie. "The Gemlings will be destroyed in due time, I've sent a few _friends_ to take care of them_ right now_. As for the host.." He tisked and shook his head. "Barely got out of the first one, did he? And my sources tell me he's starting his next birth right now." Dean stifled a gasp. He _had_ seemed strange when they went to sleep that night, almost tense and on edge. _Godammit_.

"Two Gemling births? Unheard of. He won't survive," The man feigned apathy, tipping his wine in little circles. "Too bad, so sad. But we've sacrificed much more than him in this duration."

"You stay away from my family, you son of a bitch!" Dean growled, straining with all his might against the cuffs. The Jeweler casually stalked behind him, slowly curving around to the other side, taking another calm sip of wine. "Your family, my creations." He said nonchalantly.

"Why the fuck would you kill all your creations then, you sick, twisted-"

Dean felt a flare of hope when he seemed to finally break down the Jeweler's calm façade. He dropped his wineglass, which shattered on the floor, and he slammed his hands on the armrests, glaring at Dean with his ultrablack, shiny irises. "_I do_ what heaven asks of me." He snarled, tightening his fingers into fists almost like he was in pain. "I was asked to create the ultimate weapons. So I did. I was asked to control, and I am. Now I am asked to destroy, so I do."

Dean decided to take a leap of faith, he was only able to catch a glimpse of his thoughts before he was shoved out, but he thought he could piece together enough. "Doesn't it hurt you? When they kill those who have taken the Pearl? You must have a massive grace, to divide it up into that many pieces."

It was the only thing that made sense. From the way Leo had described it, tendrils that existed in his grace, every so often constricting and grabbing, and the way it had absorbed so quickly...it had to be somewhat of an artificial, one-way bond. And if the Pearl put out the same message to every angel under its control, that meant there had to be one source. And Dean knew he was looking at him.

"_They. Are. My. Children. Too_." The Jeweler expressed, he began to get somewhat of a crazy look in his eye. He ripped to rotate away, an almost snarl climbing through his throat. Dean could tell this man was on his last leg, his grace felt almost sickly, putting out a strange aura much like Baby's had when he'd been poisoned by the Leviathan blood. That wild look in his eyes and his actions so far suggested he was far from sane. The suited man coughed into a silk white hankercheif, trying to hide it from veiw but Dean saw the spots of red.

"I loved the power. The one-sided bonds, it let me be the puppeteer to hundreds of angels. Now, they want to take that away from me, all my power, all my creations. Almost twenty years of work, just cut out right from under me."

He turned back toward Dean, a cold glint in his dark eyes. "I am going to enjoy watching you suffer as I know I'm not the only one." He breathed crazily, coming up to Dean and sliding his pale, long, piano-playing fingers down under his chin and over his cheek as Dean flinched away.

"Your son has part of me inside of him. If I really wanted to, I would be able to get through to him, no matter the small size he absorbed. What a show would it be, if I forced the son to kill the father?" He purred, resting an elbow on the armrest and playing his fingers up to Dean's greying temples and running a cold hand through his hair. "Oh, I haven't been entertained like that in years. How wonderful."

"You're the reason my family suffered! You're the only reason anything bad has happened to them!" Dean accused him angrily, feeling his heart pumping with fiery anger. "You're the reason Cas almost died, you're the one who changed my kids forever!"

"And what are you going to do about it, exactly? You're just trapped here like my little mouse. And let me give you a little warning," He leaned close to Dean's ear, and he could smell the iron in his breath and feel his sickly grace. "This kitty likes to play with his food."

He came even closer, as Dean tried to lean as far away as he could, feelings of disgust crawling into his chest. "Maybe I'll bring little Leoniel up here right now to do the deed? His weak-ass brother won't stand a chance by himself against my little friends. Oh, you feel it, don't you? He's dying." He purred, his breath practically licking over his face, as Dean felt his bond with Robbie pinch ever-so-slightly. _No_. He began to panic, but the Jeweler wasn't in the right spot yet.

"I can sense it-you have a male Other, don't you? Oh, no fear, it's quite normal here. But I was thinking; how tragically beautiful would it be, if your last kiss wasn't even with your Other? Oh, I am having so much f-u-u-n .." He smirked and jeered in a sing-song voice, coming in even closer and smushing his lips onto Dean's. Dean jerked away, the man smelled like blood and his aura felt corpse-like, and with anger in his chest he clamped his teeth together as hard as he could, satisfied when he felt the soft skin pinch and split underneath his teeth. The man jerked away, bringing his hand up to his heavily bleeding lip and he began laughing crazily. Dean spat the blood from his mouth, he felt disgusted. He hated to admit it, but this man's humiliating and torturous tactics were actually feeling like their were grinding down his will.

"Oh, ho ho! So you're _that_ kind of mouse." He sneered, only being able to heal his torn lip partially. It was clear this man was dying, and in his twisted mind he just wanted to see someone else suffer as much as he had; pouring his life quite literally into his work, and having it all destroyed. "I must say, you are my favorite playthings out of all the others I've been brought. You weren't the only one who defied the order, you aren't the only one I've gotten to toy with."

Dean spat more of his vile blood from his mouth. That meant...once he was done with him, he really would kill everyone in his family, including him, as he had done before. This man was _so_ creepy; forcing all those one-way bonds, playing puppet master to hundreds of angels, taking angels and forcing their young to be strange creatures, killing most of them in the process. Dean would be damn happy when this psychotic son of a bitch was finally dead. It could end everything, the mind control, the whole program. Leo wouldn't have to bleed anymore.

"Why are you doing this to me?!" Dean demanded, he felt sick at what had just happened. He needed to get out of here and help his sons and Cas with Mary. In order to do that, he needed him to come closer again, even though it disgusted him, so he could fall into his trap.

"Because I've got nothing to lose and I've got a shitload of misery, which I'm quite willing to share." The Jeweler laughed, running his hands down his shoulders slowly, and Dean felt his skin crawl. "Misery loves company, dearest."

"You stay the hell away from my sons," Dean growled, feeling his fear kick it up a notch as he felt Robbie's bond pinch slightly again.

"I won't let you lay a finger on them again." He heard a somewhat low rumble, he hadn't lost control like this in years and years. Then, he heard something that made his heart squeeze deep in his chest, stopping the rumbling abruptly. _Dean, I need you! _He heard Cas's faint plea from back on earth, and Dean's breathing became extremely sporatic as he panicked about Cas. If Mary _had_ been a Gemling, no doubt Cas would have died, just like the Jeweler had said. But what about with a regular one? What about him then?

"Oh, of course you won't." He replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as his teeth began to show in a snarl. "Your son was _weak_." He hissed in his ear. "I don't know why I even kept him around. Maybe it was because I thought he was just _so_ _cute_," He said snarkily, running his hand over Dean's cheek again as he tried to twist away. "Oh, I am going to enjoy this. You're going to watch the whole thing. You're family's fucking dead, Dean."

Finally, he was in the perfect spot. Dean quickly unscathed his blade, and it buried deep into his stomach as it slid out to his palm quickly. "No, you are." He growled, keeping a tight grip on his blade that was now dripping red. Light beamed from the wound, and the Jeweler stumbled back, pure shock on his usually twisted face. "That was for my sons." He sneered, but felt pure joy building down in his stomach. Finally, it could be over.

The man's hands curled up to his midsection in disbelief, he was collapsing. A second later, there was a flash of light and a boom as the man lay splayed on the floor, charcoal wings sprouting from his back, but they seemed much more light than usual, a shadowy grey instead of pitch black. With all those pills made from his substance, he'd been dying with so little of himself left.

"And that was for Cas and Baby, you fucker." Dean said disgustedly, trying to collect his energy and direct it to escape. "Grace dies wherever it resides, so you can't touch my son anymore." He finished, finally feeling an intense feeling of completion. This was the one man who he could blame everything on; why Cas had needed to leave, why Baby died, why Robbie had suffered for such a long time. And couldn't change all that, but he could feel pretty damn good that he'd finally run this horrid creature right through.

_Hang in there, Bobby, Cas. I'm coming. _He reached inside and used almost all of his energy to crack just one of the iron cuffs open.

* * *

_Soloviel! _Cas cried out, curling in torwards his chest as pain raked his body. It took him a second to remember that he wasn't in heaven, this wasn't the first time, his brother was dead. He cried out and his head fell down onto a smooth, leather surface. He remembered now, temporarily having forgotten through the blinding pain of his rising child through his ultra-calloused grace. He was in the backseat of the Impala, and his sons had just left to face the gigantic enemies head-on.

"Robert...Leoniel..." He breathed raspily, trying to unlock the door with clumsy motions, but he couldn't even pull up the lock before pain seized him violently and he had to fall back down on the leather seat. He breathed in and out, there was just enough of a break from the pain to feel something else; a quick pinch of one of his bonds.

"No! No, no, no..." He sobbed, clawing at his chest as if he could try and speed it along so he could rush out and help his sons. He needed this to be over with, but no matter how hard he tried he just wasn't strong enough against his own grace. The hot light was struggling to rise, his grace had just become too thick after he'd hosted all those Leviathans. Even though there was only one and she required much less energy, he didn't know if he could do this. Not here, all by himself. What if he began to burn again? What if the process took too long and she began to die, detangled from his grace but not yet able to support herself in her human form?

_Dean, I need you!_ He called out desparately, squeezing his eyes shut as his body went through yet another violent shudder. He wouldn't let himself lose her. Even if it meant losing himself.

* * *

Robbie was barely conscious as he lay flat on his back on the black asphalt, a puddle of dark blood seeping from the gash in his thigh, his ribcage moved slowly in and out, he didn't know how many more breaths he'd be able to take before he'd be gone forever.

He vaguely registered when there was a massive sound like a hundred carpets being shaken out and the rustling of a million feathers, and he felt close to half a hundred graces vanish as there was a mass exodus of all the angels, for no apparent reason whatsoever. He vaguely heard a few more shouts, electric fizzles and slams of bodies on the ground, Leo must have been finishing off the few remaining demons.

Then, someone else was healing him, but it couldn't be Leo, his light pulsed almost thirty feet away. Someone else was next to him, no, on both sides of him, he was being filled with healing energy as his gash began to shallow and smooth together. He was too exhausted to open his eyes, and he tried to reach out and feel their graces, trying to identify who it could possibly be.

But-no. He must be hallucinating, that was it. How could one angel be two places at once, on both sides of him? And he wasn't sure if it was his blood-lacking brain, but something about the light felt so familiar, but he couldn't quite place it...

"RJ! Robbie, open your eyes! Please, do something!" He suddenly rose to awareness that his brother was kneeling over him, shaking his shoulder and keeping a hand cupped to his cheek. Robbie slowly folded his eyes open, his leg still throbbed painfully but it didn't feel fatal anymore.

"You scared me to death!" Leo scolded him, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and helping him to stand up. "Don't ever do that to me again, RJ!" The rough, boyish voice sounded flat and faraway to Robbie's faint ears. His head swam, but he was able to find his balance and keep his eyes open. Bodies littered the ground around them, some sprouting charcoal wing-prints and some not. It seemed like so much less than he had counted before.

"What happened? I thought there were so many more!" Robbie slurred, meeting Leo's gaze. His brother was happy again, his eyes had returned to that soft expression, which seemed out of place with the flecks of blood dappling his cheeks.

"The angels left, all of them. I think the Pearl, or whatever the hell it was made of, got destroyed. That must have been what was controlling them, they must have left when it stopped working." Leo kept his brother standing straight as he poured more healing energy into him. "I don't feel the tendrils anymore, RJ. It's over." He announced happily, but then got an angry and concerned look on his face again.

"What the hell happened to you?! I felt it, I thought you were dying!" Leo fumed, almost like he was angry with him for scaring him so badly.

"I...I think I was. But someone saved me, I don't know." He struggled to place that familiar light that had been barely there, almost like a ghost of a light. Suddenly, it hit him. It was Baby, that was the bare version of what his grace had felt like. He was sure of it.

"I didn't see anyone next to you or around you, and I got every single demon who remained when the angels left!" Leo insisted, cocking his head to the side.

"Leo...what do you think happens to angels when they die? They can't just vanish, right? Everything has to go somewhere, even monsters get a place to go in Purgatory." Robbie whispered, he couldn't shake that resemblance of the lights he'd felt. Shit, just maybe angels _did_ go somewhere else when they died...

"I don't know. Maybe they all go somewhere different." Leo brought his lips together, he looked scared as a thought occured to him. "I hope we don't go to Purgatory when we die." He said quietly, avoiding Robbie's eyes as he looked down at the ground.

"We won't. We're _not_ monsters, Lee." Robbie assured him firmly, and the two wrapped their arms around each other, they were both trembling ever-so-slightly.

"I'm glad we're okay. But I think when we do die someday...it won't be the end." Robbie spoke up, deciding to keep his little secret to himself. It just wouldn't feel right to tell anyone, even Leo. He felt a relieved tear patter on his back; it looked like his 'little' brother was back after that absolutely astonishing badass streak just a minute ago.

Then the two suddenly remembered, having forgotten temporarily from the rush with all the fighting, who they'd done all that for in the first place, their dad and their soon-to-arrive sister.

"_Cas_!"


	28. Wing Song

The twins began tearing up the small asphalt hill towards the car, Robbie pushed through the pain in his leg to sprint as fast as he could. His breath came faster and faster through his throat as he tried to get there as fast as possible, fear stinging his insides as he didn't even want to imagine everything that might go wrong. Robbie pulled open the door quickly and slid inside, Leo followed, careful to keep his arm from touching anything as the skin still burned hot with coal-like skin.

It still wasn't over. _Dad, where the hell are you?_ Robbie thought, and he was starting to panic, he had no idea what to do. Robbie grabbed his hand and squeezed, and Cas grimaced and strained to not cry out, a bead of sweat rolled down his temple as he opened his eyes and looked wearily out at his two sons. He looked grateful that they had just done all that fighting to save him, and he bit back a yell as Robbie quickly wrapped his arm around his shoulder. "You can do this, dad, you're almost there." He said reassuringly, but both him and Leo were scared out of their minds. Where the hell was Dean?

"She's not...not rising fast enough," He strained to say, and Robbie held him tighter. "You got through it with us, Cas, I know you can do this. It's almost over." Leo interjected, reaching over and squeezing both his brother and Cas's hand. He breathed quickly, and suddenly the light was rising, steam sizzling off his skin as the car suddenly seemed to get a few degrees hotter. Then, like with Robbie, the advancement of the light just stopped, steamy tendrils swirling in the air.

Leo looked terrified as he held his blade out, if things started taking a wrong turn he could save them, cut her out just like he had been. _RJ, I'm scared. I don't know what to do. _He whispered into his brother's mind, Robbie noticed the silver blade was shaking slightly.

"Hmmmm..." Cas groaned, another bead of sweat rolling down his face. He looked as if he were giving up. "No, Cas, c'mon, you have to keep going!" Robbie panicked, and he felt his heart pounding in his ears.

Then, he felt like he would burst with relief as he detected Dean's light nearby, there was a loud whistle and the ground just a little bit away burst with soil as Dean punched hard into the ground. He hadn't crash landed like that in a long time, and the boys sensed that he was hurt. "Stay here, Cas, dad's coming, okay?" Cas slumped against the seat cushion, he closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. "Okay," he answered in such a tiny voice, the two were reminded of a little kid.

"Dad!" Leo cried out, he was the first to make it to the fresh crater. Paranoid, Dean immediately mistook the concern in his voice to mean something had gone wrong with Cas. He felt like he could hear the crackling again in his ears as he scrambled out of the crater with wild eyes, gripping Leo's shoulders tightly. "Where is he? What's going on, is he burning?" He felt an intense lick of fear when images once again were conjured up by his mind, vacant eyes dancing in the firelight, those small flames bursting along the feathery black edges...

"No. But dad, he's struggling." Robbie insisted in a worried voice, coming up to Leo's side as quick as he could with a slight limp. Dean tackled both of them into a tight hug, holding on to the back of their heads as he gripped them tightly, feeling his fear leave and relief wash over him, they were safe. Just hearing that son of a bitch threaten them had scared him to death. "But..the Gatherers, and all the demons..."

"We took care of it, we fought them off. Well, mostly Leo bore the brunt of all of it. I haven't seen that much badassery in my whole life." Robbie spoke up affectionately, smiling.

Dean buried his head into their shoulders, not lessening his grip on them at all. "Good boys. Oh, my god. You two are such good boys." He said happily, not wanting them out of his arms. He spoke up, closing his eyes and hugging them both tightly into his chest. "I didn't think you were this way for a reason either. But this is it, this is the reason. You saved them. Shit, I wouldn't want you to change for anything." The three were silent as Dean kept them close. He was so proud of them.

"Cas needs my help." He suddenly stated, remembering. He felt distracted and misty-headed because his energy had been depleated in breaking out. The two of them let him keep his arms around him as he hobbled back to the car, he'd injured himself breaking out of that chair and didn't have nearly enough energy to heal himself.

He looked into the car window, and his eyes met those wide blue ones, he ripped the door open and quickly slid in with him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he settled down, his shoulder pressed to Dean's chest as he held him closely. For some reason, it was as if Dean being near had helped him, and he began to try again.

"It's okay, Cas. I'm right here, you're doing so good." He said quietly to him, bringing his head down and resting his cheek to his forehead. The steam curled up into the air, and a sizzling sound intensified as he breathed out a long breath. "Thank you..for coming to help..." He started as Dean quickly shushed him. "Shh. It's okay, you don't have to talk."

It felt like the longest five minutes of Dean's life. He almost felt like his heart would burst from his chest in fear as his wings bristled into view just partially before he quickly pulled them back into the intangible dimension. "Cas! Jesus, Cas!" He cried out, breathing heavily and holding him tightly as he finally pulled them back. "I'm okay, Dean, I'm okay." He rasped, and Dean held him tightly, his head buried by his neck for a tense minute of silence as Cas struggled silently.

Finally, the car got even hotter, as Cas was weakly bringing the two of his arms up to gently hug the emerging light, which suddenly sent a chink of light out into the car, lighting up everything with the bright white.

The light dimmed as the pure white filled to be a more human shape, softening as the colors emerged, a healthy baby-pink with a head of white-blonde hair. Cas had his eyes closed, exhausted as he wearily breathed in and out, holding onto the tiny baby with gentle arms.

Dean felt a laugh bubble into his throat, an intense mixture of joy and relief. No burning, no screams or shockwaves or radiating cracks. He only seemed tired. Then he recalled with an awful pit in his stomach; the Jeweler had tortured him by saying he'd never get to kiss his Other again before he died. He leaned his head down just a tad, closed his eyes and kissed him softly. Yeah, that was better. Then he realized something that he'd never noticed before. He was reminded of how strange the Jeweler's glow had felt, how he'd seen the same thing when Baby had been poisoned. Something extra, eminating from their personal light. He noticed there was something extra with Cas, but not a bad thing. The extra glow that went beyond the grace-identity was warm, all-encompassing, _nice_.

"What is this, Cas? Does it have to do with, you know, having Mary or something?" He asked softly, not wanting to take the baby away just yet as he had her tucked tightly, protectively to his chest.

"No. It seems I'd forgotten to explain to you, the substance we used during...our first time..." He replied gently, not leaving the white-haired baby out of his sight as he looked down at her. "It's called ambrora. The word stems from the two words _ambrosia_ and _aura_. A glow that each bond-mate emits for the other, it does not occur in family bonds. We're still not sure of _everything_ it does, but that's why it helped so much for you to be with me. It ties us together, strengthens the other." He was speaking in a low and quiet voice, he seemed very tired, but he kept talking quietly, he liked explaining to Dean. "That's why Sol took me to you the first time as well. I probably would not have survived either of them without your presence, without you." He smiled tiredly, slowly closing his eyelids.

Dean remembered now, Baby telling him that only he could give Cas enough strength. It all made sense now. Dean realized that he always did feel strangely extremely happy whenever he was back in proximity to Cas after a long time apart, it had to be the radius of ambrora. Maybe that contributed to why he just couldn't ever shake his absense when he'd been gone, not even for a minute.

There was a pause as Dean looked down at the small baby, and Cas brought his lips to kiss her head gently, tears sparkling from his eyes as he closed them again slowly. Dean wanted to give him a few more minutes with her alone before he or the twins began passing her around. "What does mine feel like to you, Dean? I've never had the chance to ask." He spoke up again, gently rocking the baby in his arms and not lifting his eyes even once.

"It..." Dean reached down and felt into the glow, not sure what he meant. Then, it hit him and he smiled. "Like a great slice of cherry pie with ice-cold vanilla ice cream, like my teddy bear when I was five, and my little fuzzy blanket I always used to carry with me." He said, a laugh escaping his mouth. If it was anything like ambrosia, then that meant Cas's had to be different for his as well.

He smiled and breathed out contently, his breath stirring the little white curls as he closed his eyes again, thinking. "A spring wind filtering through tall grass, and an ocean breeze, or the scent of stones in a cold water spring." Dammit, he'd been so much more poetic. Dean snuggled his cheek onto his forehead, rubbing his back slightly. "We sure got ourselves into a pretty permanent fix when we bonded all those years ago, didn't we?" He laughed. He'd had no idea then what that bond would have meant, how much would stem from that one moment.

"Yes," He responded, smiling when he could tell Dean didn't want it to be any other way. "And these three."

"Yeah. Sneaked their way right into the deal, didn't they?" Dean replied light-heartedly, kissing him on the forehead and smiling.

"Hey!" Robbie feigned offense, but he had a bright smile as he had Leo's arm slung over his shoulder as he looked down at his newest family member.

"Would you like to hold her?" Cas asked quietly, he looked very tired all of the sudden. Dean didn't blame him for that, after everything he'd gone through. He watched as Cas took a silk handkerchief from his pocket and folded and tucked it gently to make a tiny, makeshift diaper. Dean felt his heart melt; he'd taken the time to make a little diaper like that even when he looked just about ready to collapse with exhaustion. "You've been practicing, Cas?" He asked in a light, kind voice, a bright smile on his face.

He reached over and took the baby gently from his arms, smoothing down her hair and bringing her into his chest. Her hair was white-blonde like Leo's had been, but she had tiny little curls that wisped up in little part-ringlets. "There you are, Mary Ellen Winchester." He said happily with a smile, and she opened her large eyes when she heard him speak.

The huge orbs looked up in curiosity, and Dean looked back, equally curious. Her eyes weren't green or blue like Cas's or his were, but a very, very light blue, lacking much of the pigment that Cas or Leo's dark bottle-blue had. The blue that rimmed her black pupils was more light, like a worn patch on a pair of faded blue jeans. He was hit with realization; they were a lot like Baby's, just hers were less grey._ She may have similiar eyes, Bay, but I ain't letting her smoke any time soon._ He thought to himself, smiling when he imagined Baby laughing his husky laugh, maybe throwing in a playful 'we'll see about that.' In a way, he wanted to think he _had_ seen her, that he was the gaurdian to her as well somewhere out there.

He brought her chest-to-chest with him, and saw her tiny little wings sprouting from her back, they'd only be visible like this for a little while. He saw that they were dark, but when he looked even closer he realized they weren't fully black. There were tiny little gold speckles that started on the curves of the tops of her wings, and they had one layer of gold feathers lining the very bottom. "Holy shit, Cas, she's beautiful." He said happily, playing with a little white curl on the top of her head. There was a complete silence as all four of them looked on to their new family member, breathing in and out slowly in relief.

"Damn, Leo, I never thought you could fight like that." Robbie spoke up what had been eating away at his thoughts ever since the battle had ended, astonishment in his voice. Leo almost seemed a little embarrassed. "Yeah, well, me neither." He admitted, and Robbie almost found it hard to associate the beast of a person he'd seen a few moments ago with this kind-faced teenager. "I guess I've never had to."

_Leo baby and Leo badass, _Robbie thought to himself, chuckling. His brother could really surprise him sometimes. Dean noticed that everyone is the car was bone-tired, the kids from fighting off that hoard, Cas from Mary and himself from the Jewler. Cas leaned tiredly on his shoulder with a dead weight, completely drained as he shut his eyes and slowly breathed in and out. "I would prefer not to do that again." He spoke up wearily, and Dean laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You won't have to do this _ever_ again." He assured him. "If we ever do decide to have another one, for some crazy reason, I'd be old enough to do everything, okay?" Cas nodded, yawning and pushing his head farther on his shoulder. "Geez, that would be so weird though. Maybe I'd be used to this whole gender weirdness by then." He laughed.

"My belief is that three is perfect." He added, and Dean rubbed his shoulder gently.

Dean smiled. "That's right, Cas." Three felt like the perfect number. Dean leaned his head on Cas's, smiling as just the residue of tears sparkled in his eyes.

"Let's go home." Dean spoke up finally, as his kids sighed in relief. "God, yes." Robbie smiled, and his face lit up when Dean gave him the key to drive. He'd only driven it a few times, and it somewhat felt like a right of passage. He had double the big-brothering to do now that Mary was here too. Still, he felt like he could definitely handle it. He'd do anything for them.

Robbie drove the car smoothly down the road, he and Leo were in the front seat, Leo was holding Mary gently to his chest as Cas and Dean rested in the backseat. Dean had his arm wrapped around him as Cas rested his head on his shoulder, exhausted. Dean brought his head closer with the crook of his elbow and and kissed his hair on the side of his head, pumping his hand up and down on his arm, trying to reassure him. He remembered when he'd kissed him like this before, they'd been sitting exactly like this when he'd first found out he was carrying monsters. He'd been disgusted, thinking they were monsters who were going to kill him if he kept them, or kill many innocent people too. He smiled and leaned his head on Cas's, if only he knew then what he knew now, how perfect they really were.

They all came back into the house, and right away Dean helped Cas back to the bedroom, he needed a good rest after everything that had happened. Mary had started crying a little while ago, and Leo handed her off to Robbie quickly, saying he knew just what to do.

Robbie followed his brother into the living room, gently bobbing the sniffling and crying baby and kissing her softly on the very top of her head as Leo laid out a blanket by the fireplace. "Shh, Mary, it's okay baby." Robbie cooed to her, and Leo signaled for him to place her down on the soft blanket.

Leo then quickly turned into a soft, white cat, he padded up quietly and curled around the little baby so that they were belly-to-belly, and her small head fit just underneath his. She gripped tightly to the soft belly fur with her fat fist, and she stopped crying as she settled down into little hiccups and buried her face in the fur. The cat dragged a tiny pink tongue over her head before settling his chin down on the white curls, purring loudly.

"Stop licking your sister, you weirdo." Robbie joked, crouching down next to them and tickling Mary's downy wings. _You're just jealous all you can turn into is a big, scary wolf._ Leo answered back, his blue eyes laughing as he groomed down a wispy white hair again with his tongue, pinching his eyes closed and starting his purring up again.

"Don't try and go all cute on me, Leoniel Samuel Winchester! I've seen your dark side." Robbie shot back, grinning.

_Oh, shut up._ Leo answered, flicking his tail out and almost looking like he was smiling. Robbie turned quickly into his wolf form and padded around the both of them, settling down as he curled them to be around him, resting his large head on his furry tail, closing his eyes contently and breathing out a hot breath. Dean came back to the living room and saw the three of them all curled up together, and he felt his heart melting.

"You guys gonna be alright?" He called out softly, leaning on the doorpost. Robbie quickly opened his deep green eyes and slid them over to look at him.

_Yeah, dad. We'll be okay. _He answered, snuffling out a hot breath as he gave the little baby's head a quick lick, sending all the hairs in one direction as the white cat hissed lightly in irritation. _Wow, RJ, you messed up her hair!_ He laughed, settling to work and smoothing back the little curls. Robbie ignored him and nuzzled his head back down, closing his eyes and almost looking like he was smiling. _Night, dad_. He laughed, nudging the cat and the baby closer to his belly with his jaw.

_We're going to be great brothers, RJ, you'll see._ Leo said happily, the tip of his tail curling up and down slowly.

_I already knew that, dummy_. Robbie retorted, and his warm breath played through the wispy blonde hair and white fur. _It's scary that we almost lost her._

_We're never going to let anything bad happen to her. _Leo said seriously, pulling her a little closer._But with brothers like us, she's gonna be fearless_.

The wolf's belly rose and fell with a laugh as he made snuffling noises. _It's not everday a kid grows up with a wolf and tiger in the house._

_Night, RJ._ Leo purred, and then paused for a second, testing the next thing out on his tongue. _Night, Mary. _He dragged his tongue over her head one last time before going to sleep. _Night_. Robbie replied, sighing happily.

...

Dean went back to his room, and he just couldn't get rid of the smile that was plastered on his face. He collapsed on the bed, and just looked out at Cas lying next to him for a minute, taking in the half of his face that faced him, the other half hidden by a pillow. He opened his blue eye slowly and blinked. "Are you going to go to sleep?" He asked quietly. He smiled and shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe I'll just take a little nap." He replied, closing his eyes but not feeling sleep fall on him at all. He just felt so...happy. He thought about how all his kids were fine and perfectly safe in the next room, how they'd have cousins soon when Sam's kids came along. He thought about how relieved he was that Cas was okay, that their bond was stronger and more complex than he'd originally thought. Then there was this low, humming noise that Dean hadn't really payed much attention to at first, but it suddenly caught his interest as it began getting louder and louder.

That wasn't a bad thing, the noise was very nice to hear. It was like there were millions of different tones, all meshing and building perfectly together, like that one perfect note in an acapella group that sends goosebumps down the spine. He was half-listening to it, smiling, falling somewhat asleep when he jerked awake, just realizing he had no idea what the sound was or where is was coming from.

"Cas! Cas, did you hear that? What the hell was that?" He jolted up, especially worried now that the noise had ended abruptly. Castiel seemed just as relaxed as ever, not even moving a muscle as Dean freaked out.

"Yes, I heard it." His lips pulled into a smile, and he laughed softly. "Cas, what was that?" He asked again, and even though he knew there was no cause for alarm his heart was still pounding in his chest. Cas answered slowly, sleepily.

"You were singing, Dean." He explained with a smile, shutting his eyes again. Dean looked at him, bringing his eyebrows together. What?

"No, I wasn't...?" How would it have even been possiible to make that kind of noise?

"It wasn't your vessel singing, it was your wings." He explained, smiling even wider this time. "It only happens when an angel is extremely happy, almost like they're in a state of bliss."

"I guess you could call it that," He replied, lying back down into the blankets. "I'm so fucking happy, Cas." A question occured to him as he closed his eyes again. "Have you ever, you know, done that? Sang?"

"Only a few times. One was when I got my first ever family members, Mirael and Soloviel. Another with the birth of Jesus, but of course all the angels sang then. And...when I realized you were going to be my Other." He replied, laughing as Dean surged forward and kissed him. That low hum started up again, vibrating the air pleasantly.

"You just can't stop singing, can you?" Cas laughed, reaching up and running his fingers through his hair.

"I'll stop singing when I stop being happy." Dean replied, smiling and resting his chin on the dark hair underneath him.

"You're gonna be such a good little papa, Cas." He breathed, smiling and rubbing his shoulder again. "They're all so perfect. I love everything about them, I mean everything." He said truthfully, he really meant it.

"Me too," He replied quietly, he still seemed very tired. There was a pause as Dean just rubbed his shoulder, the humming getting louder and filling the silence. "I love you, Cas. I'm sorry it took so long to realize it."

"It's okay. Everything's perfect now," He whispered, gently sighing and nudging his head next to his neck. Dean gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead, and closed his eyes, just feeling him wrapped up safe in his arms. "Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

...

When he woke up the next morning, he peeped his head into the twin's bedroom and smiled when he saw that the beds were still empty, and hadn't been slept in all night. He quietly made it past the two bedroom doors, and he saw the three of them still asleep on the living room floor, but he saw that they were now all in human form, the two boys were facing each other, both were fast asleep. The light was streaming through the window, a beam of light against their bodies. The fair-haired baby had transferred into Robbie's arms, nuzzled up tight to his chest as his rythmic breaths gently stirred the fluffy white. He smiled and watched them for just a minute before waking them up.

Sure, things weren't exactly perfect with them. They were triplets who were seventeen years apart, and the twins hadn't exactly had the best childhood as he'd tried to raise them by himself, moving when things went wrong, as both of them suffered when Robbie would get sick. There was also the constant danger from the Gatherers and heaven. But now, looking at the three of them...things were looking pretty damn good.

This morning was a breakfast kind of morning, of course. The six of them sat at the dining room table, Sam had come down to meet his new niece, and he was happily muching on a piece of toast. "It looks like heaven's finally getting back in order, and I think they're going to let this whole gemling thing go. There's probably less than ten out in existence, and they just don't feel it's worth the trouble." He explained happily, looking at the little baby who was sleeping on Dean, then looked to Robbie and Leo. "As for the demons, I think they've realized trying to capture them is more trouble than it's worth. All the demons who attempted to steal them away never lived to tell the tale. There might still be a few stragglers, though, so be careful."

He looked at Leo and smiled. "You basically took on that whole hoard by yourself? Goddamn, can't say I saw that coming. You're a lot more like Dean than I suspected." He chuckled and took another bite of toast.

Leo reddened and turned slightly away. "I'm still a lover, not a fighter, okay?!" He retorted with an uncomfortable look on his face. "I just...was trying to help and got caught up. You won't be seeing..._that_ again."

"Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say...until they go to the dark side!" Robbie said playfully, dramatically grabbing his brother's shoulders at the last line.

"Aw, shut the...fudge up!" Leo shot back, switching his word mid-sentence at an eyebrow arch from Dean.

"You know I'm just playing around, Lee. It was actually pretty awesome," Robbbie laughed with happy green eyes, bringing a forkful of food up to his mouth.

Dean looked down at the baby resting on his chest, he tried to give her her bottle but she kept making little whining noises and twisting her head away. "C'mon Mary, aren't you hungry?" He asked quietly. "I wish she could just tell me if she eats or not." Right when it escaped his lips he regretted it.

"Oh, _hell_ no!" Dean expressed when he saw his twin's matching devious grins. "She is not going to be going on some time travelling adventure and TMIing the future _again_." He laughed, finally setting the bottle down and gently handing the baby off to Cas. "I'm gonna go get ready for work," He said, getting up and taking a few dirty plates to the kitchen.

"Hey, Dean? One last thing before I go." Sam piped up, getting that little proud-but-flustered look on his face again, so Dean knew it was going to be about his kids again. "I just found out, it's gonna be a girl and a boy." He said with almost a glow on his face. "Jada named the boy, but the girl..." He broke into a gigantic smile. "Deena Jo Winchester. Just like grandma. And, well, you."

Dean dropped the plates into the sink with a clatter and threw his arms around Sam, tears coming to his eyes. "Thanks for making my name so girly," He joked sarcastically. "Bitch."

"Aw, shuddup." Sam laughed, hugging him tightly back. "Come back soon, okay? Everyday when they get here." Dean insisted into his shoulder, and Sam squeezed him back tightly. "Of course," He answered, pulling away and smiling. Their happy eyes met for half a second, and then Sam vanished with the rustling of feathers.

Dean turned back to his family at the table. Leo was playing a variation of peek-a-boo with Mary, but instead of popping out with a funny face it was a different animal each time. She booped the tiger's nose with her fat, uncoordinated hand, bursting into giggles when he roared dramatically at her.

"School's starting up soon, Lee. You gonna try and find a girlfriend this year? Or are you gonna try and stick with finding Fay?" Robbie asked, casually taking a bite of toast as Leo straightened up and looked at him with smiling eyes. "I told you I was going go find her and marry Fay, and I meant that. I feel like she's the one, RJ, I just know it." He beamed, bringing his hands up to his cheeks as pink flushed under his freckles.

"Well, you've been right so far whenever you have feelings like that. But good luck if you ever have kids. I don't know _what_ the hell's gonna come out of that." Robbie joked back, patting him on the shoulder to mean he didn't mean it when Leo let out a loud 'hey!'

"Hey, you two, work on that homework when I'm gone, okay?" Dean called out to them, feeling his chest rise affectionately when he was met with a sarcastic 'yeah, yeah.' in unison. They'd done enough good in the past few days to make up for twenty years in his book. "Be good!" He called out happily behind him as he went into the bathroom to shave and get ready.

He ran the warm water and curled his fingers over the edge of the sink, looking at his reflection for a moment before he's start his shave. He looked at that sigil in his green eye, it was pretty damn useless now, wasn't it? He thought about how much had happened up in heaven since then, it was enough to make his head spin, especially because he'd somewhat been the final blow to the whole toppling system by killing the Jeweler.

He looked at his weathered face and tipped it from side to side, looking at his temples, which had started to grey a little while ago. He didn't look like a hunter kind of man anymore, he realized he really just looked like a dad. But there was something else about his face, a feeling that was on the very tip of his tongue.

Then he realized. He'd seen himself like this before, a long, long time ago, eighteen years ago. He'd visited himself just before everything with Cas had been revealed to him, when he'd crash landed, his future self being the only one able to help him, tell him to get back to Cas..._oh, my god_. That had to be him now.

He'd only be gone for a few moments, he remembered the visit had been breif. He stretched his wings to fly through time and space, the feeling came so naturally to him now that he barely even had a second thought about it. He closed his eyes, knowing exactly where he needed to go.

He felt that same unerving sideways-elevator type of feeling and landed lightly on his feet. He looked into the clear blue sky, a sky that was eighteen years younger, and he heard almost a sonic boom and a loud jetstream as someone fell from the sky and rocketed towards Earth, punching into the ground and leaving a very angular white line in the sky. Dean chuckled and set forward, he was in such a good mood that this almost didn't feel like a bad situation. He saw a much younger version of himself, splayed on his back in a crater of concrete and soil. Young Dean groaned and his head lolled onto the dirt pillow behind his head, shutting his eyes.

"Hey. Well, don't you look down on your luck. S'matter, you fall from the sky?" Dean started, ambling up to him. He tried to remember what he had been like then, he hadn't even known about why Cas was sick at all. He didn't even know how to heal himself, or fly. Young Dean's eyes snapped open and he whipped his head aroud to try and see where the noise came from. Dean saw his own semi-translucent wings shimmering gold, they were out still. Hey, the color _was_ kind of nice when he saw it from afar.

"You'll get better. It's really kind of funny though, looking back." Dean laughed internally. He almost couldn't remember being like this, Leo and Robbie had been better when they were three years old. How embarassing. Young Dean squinted in the light, he looked extremely confused.

"Oh, my God!" Young Dean cried out, his eyes widening as he scrabbled to try and get up, he looked like he was in pain.

Dean came up to him and studied his younger face. Well shit, he felt so damn old now, greys had started on his temples a few years back, and god, he wished he had that nice, smooth skin now.

"I didn't think a few gray hairs would scare you, considering." Dean chuckled, his younger self's surprised facial expression was priceless, and he felt like joking around; he was in a good mood today.

"Dude, you time travel?" Young Dean asked in disbelief, he looked flabbergasted, his jaw hanging open. _Oh, me. You don't know the half of it. _He was thinking about how funny it would be if he surprised himself even more, telling him that he had kids or that he was with Cas, maybe even that he'd been able to carry his daughter for short amounts of time. He'd probably faint again, this little dumbass. He felt affectionate towards his younger self, he still had so much to learn.

"Well, I am a damn angel, you idiot." Dean quipped like he often did with Robbie, smiling. Young Dean smiled back, looking up to him with almost admiration.

"Awesome," Young Dean breathed, his eyes shining. Dean suddenly remembered; he'd been hurt and hadn't known yet how to heal himself. He reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, effortlessly healing his broken bones. Young Dean looked up curiously at his older self, tilting his head to the side. Jesus, he looked so innocent and young.

"Why come now?" The thirty-year-old asked, looking into his older face. Dean felt happy; he came back because he'd been reminded of the first time, with his wonderful sons. He couldn't wait to get back to what had reminded him, little Mary.

"Look, I can't tell you too much about your future, and I'm going to be brief. I needed to heal you up, get you back. No one else was gonna do it." Dean shrugged, he decided against telling him too much about his future. He sure did wish he could change some things; tell him to be less of an ass to Cas this time, also that his kids were the best thing in his life, and that over all those years he hadn't just grown to tolerate their differences, but he'd really grown to love it and didn't want them to be any other way. Then his face dropped into one of sadness and concern. He hated that this little man had a lot of suffering carved out on the road for him. But at least it had a good destination.

"Find Castiel when I take you back. He needs your help." Dean was swiftly grabbing for his younger self's shoulder, he kind of wanted to get this over with and go back home to his family. He missed them already, just watching them over breakfast with the person he knew he'd spend the rest of his existence with, thinking about it made him light up again. Just the thought of his peculiar, imperfect-in-many-ways family that was perfect to him made him glow inside. Young Dean stopped him, determination glittering in his green eyes.

"Wait! Dean, does my life get better? Is it turning out good for you right now?" Young Dean's eyes shone with hope, his face lighting up when he realized he had a good ten more years on him. _Oh, kid. You have no idea how good it gets._

He thought about Leo and Robbie and Mary, God, he loved them all so much. Robbie would die to protect any of his family, and he was so much like Dean that it blew his mind. Leo was so optimistic and always let light into his life, his innocent baby who somehow could double as the ultimate badass if the situation called for it. He couldn't wait to see what Mary turned out to be like. He was so happy with his situation with Cas too. His Other, his mate for life. Neither of them thought they'd find each other, and somehow everything became perfect after their series of misfortune and misery.

The misery started with Dean and Sam being murdered, then the process of turning into an angel had been no walk in the park. Cas had almost died with his strange creatures, leaving Dean alone for so long. Then Leo was stolen away, they lost Baby, and Robbie suffered greatly when he was finally able to be cured.

But it was as if the stars had finally aligned, battling through all that brutality to finally make Dean's life just...perfect. He thought about his kids, all curled up together, sleeping like, well, angels. Robbie in his wolf form, big, powerful and protecting his siblings, but also being ever-so-gentle as he curled around them resting on his belly. Leo was that soft-furred cat, Dean smiled as he remembered when he breifly half-woke to lick baby Mary's head, smoothing down a flyaway curl and then resettling his little chin onto the light hair, purring. His babies, two of them the most powerful beings in the universe, his accidental triplets. They'd probably make a team of badass motherfucker-hunters once all this heaven crap was really, finally over with. Demons wouldn't even stand a chance.

He wondered if his younger self could tell any of this about him. He remembered that he'd thought there was something different about him, the way he was so happy and seemed calm. He wished he could tell him this difference was because he _was_ happy, he had a family and basically everything he could ask for now.

Older Dean smiled again, his face crinkling up especially by his eyes. He wished he could tell him everything, tell him how this dark, dark tunnel led out to the most beautiful light. He would have seen it if only the dumb bastard could mindread, he thought with a smile. He was beaming as he opened his mouth to tell his younger self just enough to reassure him, but not give away that ultimate answer; that fuck yeah, it was turning out good for him right now. He winked playfully at his younger self as he spoke up, the last thing he'd say before he'd get back home.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see, huh kid?"

When he got home, he hated that he'd messed up slightly and it was almost ten at night. Well, he hadn't messed up so far until now, and it was only by a few hours. He saw the three curled up in the living room again, and he laughed and gently shook them awake. Robbie quickly shrunk down back to his human form and groaned groggily, rubbing his eyes, he had a carpet print on his cheek.

"C'mon, kids. I didn't buy an eight hundred dollar crib for nothing," He laughed, taking Mary from Leo's chest and shaking him awake. "Whatever, man." Leo laughed groggily, as Dean walked down into the hall and tucked the heavily sleeping baby into her crib, then came into the next room just in time for the teenagers to be climbing into their own beds.

"G'night, you two." He said softly, coming in and pulling the blankets up to their chins in succession, he felt his heart squeeze happily. They were handling the new baby so well, and the fact that they weren't even the least bit jealous that her life was going to be much easier than theirs had been... he felt like the luckiest dad in the world.

"We're not babies anymore," Leo laughed, but let him do it anyway, closing his eyes.

"I am so proud of you two," Dean said quietly, brushing the hair from Leo's forehead and kissing it, then scrubbed Robbie's dark hair affectionately and did the same. Suddenly their eyes seemed young and bright again, and he saw them in his eyes as little kids again as he slowly closed the door.

He came back into his room and slid into bed, he was already falling sleep as he closed his eyes and felt arms wrap around him as he sighed happily and that beautiful low hum started up again. "I like it when you sing," Cas said quietly, and the hum got just a little bit louder

Dean felt around him and sensed that warm extra glow that had really always been there, but he'd never had a name for until now. He just had assumed it came with the feeling if happiness he got when Cas was near. He spoke up, saying what came to mind quietly as his mind was getting slower and cloudier as he was falling asleep.

"This whole thing, everything; first the telekinesis and mind-reading and flying and now the ambrora, the singing..I guess I _still_ have a lot to learn, huh?" He asked.

"And you have plenty of time to learn." Cas replied simply, and Dean smiled and sighed. _I guess so,_he thought, gently bringing his lips to Cas's forehead."Goodnight, Cas." He smiled and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, De-"

His words cut off, and Dean woke up somewhere else.


	29. The Waking World

Wow! Well, here it is, folks. The very last chapter of the longest story I've ever written.

Thank you so much for reading until this point. I love you! *hugs*

Please review about what you've thought, and I'll try to write more stories like this in the future. Bye bye for now, dear reader! Thank you! *kisses*

* * *

Dean woke up.

And I mean _really_ woke up.

He slipped his eyes open slowly to see a sleeping Castiel in front of him, gently bathed in the pinkish-grey light of the breaking dawn. He didn't have any grey hairs anymore, his face looked like it did thirty years ago, and he was sleeping serenely, in a shirt much too baggy for him. His breath evenly came in and out, and as he twisted just a little, the shirt pooling around his body pulled just a little to expose a tiny part of his chest.

The scar was gone.

That thick, craggy, raised and white vertical scar that split down most of his chest, from when Leo was cut out, it was completely gone. Dean blinked, to shocked to even move for a second. What was this place? Where was he? But if this was heaven, he would be seeing the angel's beautiful true form, right?

Cas looked like he was stirring, making little puffs of breath as he moved around groggily and pulled the blankets toward him. God, it was cute. But why was _he_ sleeping? Had Dean just been sleeping? But he didn't remember coming here, or even where 'here' was. Why the hell was his angel so damn young all of the sudden?

As he waited for Cas to wake up, another thought occurred to him. If Cas's scar was gone...he reached back to run his fingers along the skin of his shoulders first. He let out a huge sigh of relief as his fingers brushed the raised handprint scar on his shoulder. Okay, so far, so good. He reached back even farther...

Nothing.

Silkiest, smoothest skin he'd ever felt. There were no indents, no ruffles and bumps, no indents of feather-prints with white scars or vertical tears from his shoulder blades. Just smooth, clean, young skin. He felt his heart squeeze in his chest as he slipped from the bed, careful not to disturb Cas. He quietly made his way into the bathroom, and his face was pale as a sheet by the time he saw it in the mirror.

"Oh, my God." Dean sputtered in disbelief. He was young again. Like, _wayyy_ young again. The age he'd been before he'd been killed as a human and converted into an angel. He tipped his head from side to side- there were no grey hairs on his temples, no crow's feet by the sides of his eyes, his skin was glowing with health and tight as hell on his face. "What the fuck...?"

He looked deep into his face. Something was missing, something looked off-balance. "Holy _shit_!" He screamed out, completely forgetting for the moment that Cas was still sleeping. The sigil was gone, the one starrish symbol that wrapped around his pupil on one of his eyes, the mark Baby had given him a long time ago to protect him, when it felt like they'd just met. His face looked so naked now, so strangely different in a way that was hard to place.

Maybe something had gone wrong with the timelines, maybe the whole dark years in heaven had been prevented by someone doing something in the past. Dean reached down to find his bonds, maybe he'd never bonded to Baby, or maybe-

Dean fell hard forward, steadying himself on the bathroom counter of the motel, as tiny shampoo bottles clattered to the floor. Black began to swirl in his vision and his ears rang as he fought to keep conscious. _All of it _was gone. Every bond he'd ever made, completely erased. And they weren't gaping holes inside either; in fact he just felt-

"Human?" Dean inquired out loud, studying himself again in the mirror before bolting out of the door and straight to the bed where Cas was sleeping, and he began vigorously shaking him on the shoulder.

"Cas? Cas! Wake up, Cas!" He whimpered out, shaking him even after his blue eyes had already sprung open. Dean finally noticed he was awake and stopped shaking him, staring Cas down as he sat up slowly. His pitch black hair was a mess, and his eyes were squinty and tired.

"Oh. Good Morning, Dean." He said softly and calmy, reaching up and smoothing down part of his bed head, letting out a slight little yawn.

"Oh? _Oh_?! Cas, what the hell is going on?! Why am I _human_?!" Dean isisted, feeling panic ripping through his chest at Cas's confused glance.

"Oh. I see." The angel answered quietly.

Dean's eyes widened as he saw how realization fell onto Castiel's face, and he looked like he understood but was a little melancholy. "Sit down, Dean. I will explain everything."

Dean reluctantly sat on the edge of the bed, the springs creaking just a little. He searched Cas's face, he didn't understand why he was so calm. Or young. Or why he's been sleeping. Dean's stomach suddenly growled, and his hand flew to cover it in shock, pressing down hard with two hands.

"_Ahhhh_! Cas, holy shit, start talking!" Dean spat, panicking. He didn't like this, whatever this was. What was _happening_ to him?

Cas calmly blinked at him. "Think hard, Dean. What did you wake from just now? Try to be as detailed as possible. Start from the beginning." He pressed him for the knowledge gently, as if he knew Dean were in huge shock.

"Okay, well.." Dean started, nodding towards Cas with wide eyes, prompting him to pay attention. Maybe Cas had amnesia or something, not him. "First, I crawled out of my grave, and I was an angel and I didn't really know it yet, and my car found me...well, not my _real_ car, my car was actually an angel, and we went out to rescue you and we found out that you were pregnant but they were monsters, and then..." Dean didn't like the highly analytical expression Cas was wearing, squinting, reading him like what he had to say was entirely new. "Come _on_, Cas? Can't you remember any of this?"

"Continue, Dean. What next?" He asked softly, not acknowledging his prompting whatsoever.

"_Okay_...and then, then I found out they were mine and I kind of freaked out, but then future me came back and beat me up, and then my car kept you in heaven and me and Sam went to Egypt and oh yeah, Sam was an angel too and uh...then there was all this time travel stuff and I shot my own son in the knee but then it was all okay, and they were born, and you almost died, and I waited six years for you to come back, and then my car died and Robbie got cured and then Mary was born and-" He cut himself off, and Cas nodded at him slightly to ask him to continue. "And then I was...here.."

Dean's face fell in realization. Saying the past twenty years out loud, actually describing it to another person, all of it sounded ridiculous. His _car_ was actually an angel? His brother and him were suddenly angels too? He'd had kids with another man? His own sons had _extremely_ uncanny resemblances to himself and his own brother? His ramblings made him feel like he was describing a...dream.

"Oh, my God." Dean breathed. "Cas, oh my GOD!" His voice raised as he was filled with terror, his hands shot out an he gripped him on both shoulders.

Cas meekly looked up at him, almost as if he felt guilty. "It's peculiar how when you're in a dream, you can never really remember the beginning of it. Or the end."

"_Or the end_...I don't know the end! I don't know if they're going to be okay! I have to go back!" He insisted, grabbing tightly to Cas's loose nightshirt. He narrowed his eyes and brought his face very close to his, baring his teeth. "Take me back. I have to go back, dammit, they need me! _You_ need me, I can't leave you in heaven all by yourself!" Castiel looked on unemotionally, not even reacting when Dean shook him a little. "_Cas_!"

"You must calm yourself, Dean. Then I will explain more to you." The angel told him, and Dean finally let go of his shirt, his fingers still tightly curled as he fell backward from him and he felt his heart begin to squeeze hard in his chest.

"I tried to help you. I wanted to help you rest, but I see now why you would be disoriented. You would have a hard time remembering." Cas mumbled, hating Dean's pale face as he was beginning to understand.

Dean felt like he'd been doused with icy water as his heart pounded heavily on his chest. "Cas, you're saying...holy shit, you're saying-all that, everything, that was all a _dream_?"

The angel nodded slowly. Dean sputtered incomprehensible words, and Cas spoke up softy again. "Think, Dean. Think very hard this time. What happened before all that went on?"

Dean screwed his face up and shut his eyes. He vaguely recalled coming to this motel with Cas and Sam after an exhausting hunt, he'd complained that he was just so tired he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to keep going. That he felt himself wearing down, he was so _tired_.

And Cas had asked if he'd like to see how angels slept, when they did. He promised he'd feel well rested and healed, and it would be comfortable. He'd told him that it would feel like years, but to remember it was not real. That seemed like a thousand years ago.

"Our minds are very multi-dimensional. I lent you the capacity of an angel's mind temporarily so that you could get the rest you needed. You could have the complete rejuvination us angels recieve after sleeping, something we do not require once but every million years."

"Multi-dimensional? Holy shit, Cas, no! That was...that was a whole other _universe_!" Dean insisted. "You _have_ to take me back! Please! My family needs me!" He felt tears running into his voice as he squeezed his palms, his nails biting into his skin.

Cas looked at him with sad eyes. "I didn't think this experience would bring you pain, Dean. I apologize."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, and he felt a stiff hand on his shoulder, trying to console him. "It has to be real. I mean, it was a real universe!"

The angel smiled very small and continued. "I...suppose you could describe it that way, yes. But remember that your whole dream was self-fabricated. That is another reason us angels dream, to gain clarity and insight. Our dreams can be very powerful, showing us things we even hide from ourselves, digging up and pulling from the deepest unconscious."

Dean stared down the angel blankly. "You're telling me all that, _everything_, my own mind created?" He asked in a voice filled with disbelief.

"Yes."

"But- it was years and years! And everything was so intricate and complex-there was all this time travel, and generations of people, Cas! Generations! And I was...I able to get in their heads, I knew everyting about them, saw things even when I wasn't there! I mean, there's no way I could even get close to that kind of complexity-"

"I once had a dream that lasted close to six generations." Cas answered simply. "And time travel is relatively simple when your mind knows the dream's blueprint. Every person was something you mind created, so you _were_ them in a way. You must remember I gave you the ability to have an angel's dream, Dean."

Dean looked at him blankly before he began to laugh crazily. "Okay, guys. This isn't funny. You can come out now, Leo, Robbie, I've been punk'd or whatever!"

Cas tipped his head to the side. "Dean, no one is here but us." He paused for a second before adding in quietly: "Who are Leo and Robbie?"

Dean wanted to try and poke holes into this, he still didn't want to believe it. All these years, everything that had happened- all in just a few hours? "Well, it wasn't even a good dream! There were people trying to kill us and this creepy motherfucker named the Jeweler and people...people _died_, Cas! Why would my own mind let that happen? Why not, oh, I don't know, take me to like a land of rainbows and marshmallows and shit?" He realized something. "Like-like with the djnn, right? Now that, that was perfect, okay? Why not like that?"

"Because your real life is not like a djnn's trap, Dean. No one's is. I admit, parts of the dream you generated might have been a nightmare, but I've found many parts of my own dreams to be...very pleasent." He smiled just a little, as if he were reviewing his own dream.

Dean didn't quite know how to take this. He scrutinized Cas, staring at him so feircely until even the angel felt a little hot under the collar under his piercing gaze. "So, you have never heard of an angel named Soloviel? Or what about Leoniel?"

Cas shook his head. "No. Those aren't names of any of my family members. They are gibberish in Enochian, they don't mean anything."

Dean felt tears springing to his eyes. "Cas..how do angels reproduce? What about the Others, or the bonds?"

"We are born when a recycled mass of grace in heaven, the place all substance retuns to when angels die, gets a small part handpicked out by God who molds it into an angel, and we simply come into existence in whatever image He makes us." Castiel answered simply. Then he tilted his head to the side. "..Others? Bonds?"

"So angels don't have soul mates?" Dean asked quietly, trying to keep the water from his voice.

"No, Dean. Wouldn't that be quite a lot like incest?"

Dean covered his face with his hands, avoiding the man's gaze as he shuddered out a breath. There was a long, drawn-out moment.

"I believe your mind tried to create rules for the angels that it saw fit. Mostly likely none of them are correct." Cas tried to break it to him gently.

"Oh." Dean replied, and there was another long silence as Dean tried to understand. "So, you said these dreams...reveal things, right?" Cas nodded, happy that Dean was understanding at least some of it. "Our mind's deepest truths."

Dean thought about what it all might have meant. His deepest fears? Monsters becoming his family. But it seemed like the dream had been kind enough to sort that one out for him. Losing Sam. But again, the dream had made it temporary. His fear of losing Cas, but even that that been resolved.

What about his deepest desires? He'd wanted a Guardian, someone who would have his own back, an older brother of sorts. That must have been why his mind molded and spat out Baby. And he'd wanted to be an angel- maybe that meant he was afriad of death, or being hurt, or even just to be closer to Cas.

_Cas_. His dream was telling him plain as day with bright, flashing neon signs that he wanted to be with Cas. Hell, he'd had _kids_ with the guy! That must have been one of his other desires- to have kids. He felt his breath catch in his throat all the sudden.

"Cas-oh my god, my babies!" He said, panicked as his eyes widened and his heart fluttered. "Cas, _my kids_! My boys! Are you saying they're just...gone?" He felt tears rush to his eyes and the back of his throat pinched tightly. He covered his face in his hands and felt the hot tears gush from his eyes, and Cas put a hand on his shoulder.

"You feel much healthier after your sleep, Dean. You're body has been restored almost to full functioning and health." The angel tried to change the subject, hating to see Dean so distressed.

Dean wasn't thrown off track so easily. "Cas, their names were Robert John Winchester and Leoniel Samuel Winchester and there was a little girl named Mary Ellen Winchester and they were amazing and perfect in every way and I raised them and loved them so damn much and you're telling me..." He couldn't continue as tears constricted his voice.

"I believe they could exist, somewhere. Our world is only one of an infinitesimal amount of dimemsions in which anything could happen. I'd like to believe that your heaven with your rules exists somewhere out there. In fact, I believe it is statistically impossible for it to not exist." He tried to console him as he kept his hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that it saddens you to wake from your dream. But you needed to sleep, your soul and body both were on their last leg. You were very worn down, Dean."

Dean sighed. "They're real. Tell me they're real." He insisted, wanting to grip his coat tight again and shake him but he restrained himself.

"...It is very possible they exist." Castiel worded carefully. "Somewhere."

"But I just might not find them again, right?" Dean wanted to be reassured, he craved it.

"I have never seen subjects of my dreams, Dean. But I'm certain of the existence of some of them." He replied, and Dean felt a reassuring sigh build in his chest and release. Then something occurred to him. "Wait, so you were sleeping a moment ago too, weren't you?"

Cas smiled timidly. "Yes. However, I would not be able to explain my dream to you in ways you could understand. But I have gained insight into things unknown to me before as well." He smiled a bit wider, so whatever he'd discovered made him happy. Dean hoped it was a good thing.

His stomach rumbled loudly again, aching for attention. Dean pressed his hand to it, scowling. "I've missed food, but I have not missed feeling hungry. I forgot how much it sucks." He was talking mostly to himself, but Cas nodded a little, as if agreeing with him. "I suppose I would not know the feeling."

Dean had to admit he missed this Cas very much. "Where's Sam?" Dean asked, feeling like he hadn't seen his brother in forever either.

"Only picking up the newspaper. He'll be back any second now." Cas's eyes squinted. "In fact, he is outside the door right now."

The doorknob turned and Sam was at the door, looking young and puppy-doggy as ever as he clutched his newspaper. "Oh, great. You two are up. I was thinking we could go to the local farmer's market today-" He saw Dean quickly striding toward him. "Dean, wow, you look gr-Ooff!" Dean clamped him into a tight hug, pressing his chin to his shoulder and squeezing his eyes shut. "Sammy, dammit, thank God you're here."

"I was just a block away picking up the newspaper, man." Sam laughed a little. "How was it, angel-dreaming?"

"Oh, dude. You don't even know. The dream was crazy as hell-I've been mindfucked. Seriously." Dean said, the sharpness and realness that had been in the dream was quickly fading, and it was already feeling a lot less like reality.

"Sounds..romantic?" Sam chuckled. "Well, at least you're looking a lot better. I think you really needed that."

Dean nodded in agreement. He did need the rest for his mind and body, but also because it had finally opened his eyes. "Well, let's head out to that farmer's market. I'm starved."

Sam smiled and nodded. "Okay, then! I didn't think you'd come somewhere with healthy food so willingly."

"Hey, you know what I'm going for." Dean answered, winking at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Dean. I know, the pies." Sam reached for the keys on the dresser next to the door. "Hey, Cas, you comin'?"

"Of course he's coming." Dean shot back, maybe a little too protectively. He had to remind himself they weren't Others here anymore. "C'mon, Cas. It'll be fun." He quickly added in a light-hearted tone.

Sam didn't ask about Dean's dream even once on the car ride over, as he rambled on about cases and weird happenings lately. Dean kind of wanted to talk for hours about it, but he realized how embarrassing it might be to admit that he'd dreamt that he'd gotten Cas pregnant. Well, it had been an accident. So he knocked him up? No, that sounded even worse. Eh, maybe when they had nothing else to talk about Dean would tell Sam all about it. A little edited, just in Sammy's case, of course.

They piled out of the Impala, and Dean couldn't help but pat the car a few times above the door. "Hey, Cas?" He asked as the angel climbed from the back and smoothed out his trenchcoat.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas replied quietly.

"Can angels, uh, possess inanimate objects? Like, say, a car, just speaking hypothetically?" Dean asked, looking at his Baby with a critical eye.

Cas narrowed his eyes at what seemed to him like a ridiculous question. "No, Dean. We do not have the ability to possess any of Father's animals, either. Only humans are capable vessels for angels to take."

Dean patted his Baby just one more time. "Alrighty, then. Good to know." _Nah_, Dean thought. _I know someone was in here_.

They began heading into the festive market, Sam pulled ahead, excited to see the rabbit food like the dumb health nut he was, and Dean and Cas fell behind. Dean was just enjoying the silence and his company, that quiet kind of comfort that comes with being with someone for over twenty years, just observing his surroundings. Things were duller here, the colors weren't so bright and life seemed much more normal (even for him) than the whirlwird of crazy events from his dream.

He observed the people, quietly trying to cope with reality again, when Cas spoke up first.

"I suppose you would not wish to do that again. Although, it has caused you to become healthier, both physically and mentally, Dean." Castiel smiled shyly as if he were proud of his work, proud that the suffering Dean from before his little nap seemed much healthier and that it was of his doing.

The people bustled all around them, bags full of greens and fruits and whatever else could be found at this particular farmer's market. But Dean had only one thing he wanted to eat in this whole place, obviously.

"I dunno, Cas. Probably not for a little while. But I do feel much awesome-er, so thanks for that at least." Dean went and fell into step next to him. Now that he thought about it, although the dream had felt so real at the time, a lot of it really was inconsistent and silly now, just like when nightmares fade away in the morning and you realize how irrational they were.

But the dream had changed him in some ways. He passed a jewelry booth that was overflowing with pearls, and couldn't help but feel just a little twang of digust deep in his chest. He found himself trying to read people's minds, but kept being reminded that it wasn't possible any more.

Cas's voice was pleasant as he spoke up again. "Any time you wish, Dean. You deserve to be well-rested, for all the work you do." Cas answered in his usual unemotional voice.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean replied happily, and didn't even think about it as he just reached out and laced his fingers in his. Cas's hand tightened up and his expression was startled to say the least as he looked into his face, trying desparately to read him as his hand gripped awkwardly tight to Dean's. "Dean...?"

"It wasn't just because I'm well rested that I'm so happy, Cas." Dean told him, easing his grip up to be a little more gentle. The awkward hand-holding felt just a little more natural when Castiel reciprocated and relaxed slightly as well. "You were right, about my own mind showing me what I most wanted. I think that dream, no, I refuse to call it a dream, _universe_ was trying to show me something. Show me what I've hidden from myself, things I didn't know I wanted." Dean's eyes were shining with happiness as he said this aloud. Cas still looked slightly confused as he waited for Dean to answer.

"I've already spent a lifetime with you, Cas, and I'm willing to spent ten thousand more lifetimes with you." Dean very uncharacteristically gushed. Hell, he didn't care. It felt like heaven to say those words to him. "If you'd let me." He gently teased, but by the blank look of Cas's face he didn't quite grasp the concept that he was supposed to smile.

"I believe that would be...enjoyable." Cas answered back after a second, and seeing Dean smiling brightly at him he twitched his lips upward a little. Maybe that was a revelation that came from Cas's own individual dream. God, he was cute as hell. Dean wondered if this Cas would be able to eventually learn all the human emotions as well.

"Awesome." Dean beamed, swinging his arm he held Cas's hand with a little higher. Cas gave him a confused, squinty-eyed glance. "I am glad the dream caused you to feel so jubilant."

"Aw, enough with the big words, hotshot." Dean teased, and pulled forward to give Cas a very natural-feeling smooch. He pulled away quickly and kept walking, Cas trailing a little ways behind, silent, a red blush burning on his cheeks.

Dean knew he should feel at least a little bit sad, but he didn't. Not really. He felt like all that existed, without a doubt, somewhere in the fourth or fifth or googolith or whatever planes or dimensions alternate universes existed on. Life would go on for them, and that dream had just been him peeking in on them and seeing how they were doing.

He felt like this was confirmed as he caught just a glimpse of two people who looked a hell of a lot like Leo and Robbie from behind. They knelt down to put some money in a hat of a street musician playing the violin. The honey-blond one went to talk to her; a music request. The dark-haired teen wearing a brown leather jacket slugged him hard on the shoulder, and the kid playfully shoved back.

But when Dean looked back, he couldn't see the three kids anywhere in sight in the crowds of people. The violinist began to play the request; "Carry On My Wayward Son". It was beautiful on violin, and Dean knew it was a clash between Robbie's being a stickler for classical music and Leo's profound love for rock n' roll. His little werewolf and skinwalker. Yup, there was no doubt they were out there somewhere, in some dimension of the billions of billions out there.

Dean thought he saw a man clad in all black, wearing a shiny leather jacket, leaning on part of a building and peacefully taking a drag from his cigarette, but when Dean glanced again, the man had slipped away behind one of the booths. _Ah, Baby, you sneaky little bastard. _Dean thought with a smile.

But he was in this universe now, and it felt right. He didn't long to go back there, he was fine being here now. And why, exactly?

He felt Cas's warm, soft hand in his and realized. Now, he had the chance to do it all over again. And that felt like the best thing in the universe right now. Well, _this_ universe, he thought with a chuckle.

Dean playfully tugged the angel along, who was trailing him like a little kid. But Dean was hungry for the first time in what felt like twenty years, and he knew just where he'd go first in this waking world. "C'mon, Cas. The pies ain't gettin' any fresher!"

**THE END**


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